Outside…
"Sarah, please…", Aiden was not sure what to say to get Sarah to stop moving.
No matter what he said, she is not responding. And she is faster than he is. Aiden can see that she is increasing the distance between them.
Aiden lost her in a forest behind the property where the White Mansion is few minutes ago. Aiden knows her location only because of GPS tracking and Eve-vision which is giving him live updates on Sarah's position compared to his.
Aiden leaned on a nearby tree while catching his breath. "Love, running will not solve anything."
"This can't be solved.", Sarah's voice rang from his ear stud.
Aiden was happy that she responded. So far, it was a complete silence from Sarah's side, and he started doubting that the ear studs malfunctioned. "I know it's all my fault. I don't know how to fix it, but I need you to stop running."
Aiden exhaled in relief when he observed on the distance meter that she stopped running.
Few seconds later, Sarah responded: "It's not your fault. I can't blame you for things that happened before we met. It's me… I'm unable to control myself. Stop following me. I need time to cool off."
"Take all the time you need, love. But don't expect me to stay away."
Aiden remembered Miss Bell's words and his heart ached. He is aware that he would go ballistic if Sarah's ex shows up and starts talking about Sarah's performance in bed. No matter when it happened, to know that she was intimate with anyone other than him, and to hear that person talk about it… he would be livid.
Few seconds later, Aiden saw that the distance between him and Sarah is rapidly increasing. Sarah is running again and with every additional meter of space in-between them, he felt like she is taking all the oxygen with her away. It was difficult to breathe.
Aiden is miserable because he knows that this is because of him. Instead of waiting for the true love to come, he was playing around without thinking about the consequences. And now the person he loves the most is hurting. And he is devastated because he can only watch helplessly without any way to fix it, but he has to try something. Staying quiet is the same as giving up and he is not willing to give up on them.
"Sarah, I carry the weight of my past, and I am sorry beyond words that you are hurt every time it's brought up. You are my light and I will always selfishly stay by your side and hope that your light will shine on me and make me a better person. Please, stop moving away from me. I need you."
Sarah heard the anguish in his voice. She does not want him to suffer because of her inability to keep the past where it belongs. "I don't want to release my anger on you. Just… give me space."
"That is the only thing I will never give you. If you are angry, I will take it. It will hurt less than to stay away from you. Hit me if that is what you need to feel better, do whatever you want with me but don't leave."
"Why are you so stubborn?", Sarah asked under her breath.
"I can ask you the same thing. Stop running away and come back. Or at least wait for me to catch up. My arms are empty, and they are made for holding you… I am sorry that it took me so long to realize how immature my behavior was. I am sorry that before I met you I didn't understand that I can be happy only with the person who is right for me. I am sorry that my past stupidity is coming back over and over again and causing you pain which I am unable to soothe..." The feeling of helplessness consumed him. Aiden's voice cracked, and he slid on the ground with his back against the tree.
He wondered, when will this stop? Will this vicious circle ever stop? Can he expect that Sarah gets used to this?
Aiden wished to have a time-machine. He would go about ten years into the past and slap himself silly… he would tell his younger self to keep it in his pants, and to make sure that he attends Tesla University, and to wait for an amazing girl named Sarah Hill to enroll. Because that is the only way he could avoid causing Sarah heartache repeatedly.
"I'm sorry…", Sarah said when she approached him.
Aiden was not sure if he is seeing right or is he imagining Sarah walking toward him. If it's real, how long was he on the ground?
Aiden leaped on his feet and swiftly pulled her in his embrace.
He was relieved that she hugged him back.
It took Aiden some time to compose himself before speaking: "What are you sorry about? I am sorry for being a selfish as*hole, and that you are suffering because of that."
"I am the selfish one.", Sarah admitted. "By giving into rage, I neglected that I'm hurting you. My only focus was to find an outlet and make myself feel better without care how my actions are impacting you. I promise to control myself if I encounter something like this again."
Aiden remembered that Sarah already has many things bottled up and he does not want to add to it. He made so much effort to get Sarah to start opening up, and now she wants to add more to the list of things she is suppressing?
If Miss Bell is closer and conscious, he would give her an additional beating! It's all because of her and her big mouth! What kind of a woman brags about sleeping with men (cousins) to the point of comparing them in front of the bodyguards of a third relative she plans to sleep with?
Aiden reminded himself to focus on Sarah and the pressing matter. He does not want her to conceal her feelings from him no matter how ugly they are.
He frantically shook his head. "No, no, no… Love, don't keep it in. Don't EVER keep it in. If you are angry or hurt or anything… let it out. I'm only asking you not to leave me. Other than that, do whatever you feel like. The only thing that can hurt me is when I see you running away from me, avoiding my touch, shutting me out."
Sarah can see the pain in his eyes, and her heart cracked. She never meant to hurt him. "I am sorry…"
"Shhh…", Aiden interrupted her. "Don't be sorry. Let's forget about this and go back." Aiden kissed her on the lips gently.
He reached for Sarah's hands which are colored with Miss Bell's blood and reminded himself not to be so careless. Why did he allow Sarah to go near that woman? They met her few times and she was so focused on Jeff that Aiden didn't think how she will end up bringing up their past. He will not allow this to happen again.
Aiden held Sarah tightly while they walked side by side toward the White Mansion. Nothing is better than having Sarah next to him.
Aiden felt Sarah lean onto him, and his world was at peace again. He smiled and started talking: "We have things to do tonight, we can make it short if you wish, or cancel it altogether. Tomorrow we will go to Fairfield. I will cook for you, and we can go to the arcade center, and in the evening we will watch movies until you sleep off and I will carry you to the bed…"
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