Chapter 116: Not My Day

Chapter 116: Not My Day

Waking up the next morning is much nicer than going to bed was. All of us were slightly ticked off about the lack of sex last night, soo... Let's just say we caught up on that in the morning. Not too much, for obvious reasons, we still have things to do and sights to see and elves to bedazzle. Though I kinda want to drag them all into bed for the next day or two, now. Oh well, something to do on the airship when we're doing the long flights, I suppose... Still, with all the teasing and pleasing, it is almost noon by the time we're, ahem... publicly acceptable. And kinda ravenous, so Bridgit commandeers the kitchen and sets about making a big dinner. Roxy elects to help her out, leaving Lily-Anne and Moon Unit for my escort. Not that I require escort, I mean, but rather they seem to be kinda certain there will be something amusing to see if they follow me, if I caught their whispers right. Really, girls?

Well, now, let's... huh, now what's going on? A meteor just fell down in the lake?... Don't tell me...

Alright, so the good news is, the sage came back and even didn't ignite on atmo reentry. The bad news is, going to orbit apparently counts as defilement. He didn't quite shred his gears, as far as I can tell, but it goes without saying there's a rocking chair and soothing music in his immediate future, while he gathers up the marbles back into the bag. I receive extremely respectful inquiries from a number of elves present, some of which are still attending to the waterlogged sage mumbling about stars and suns and void and who knows what else.

"...Lady Gillespie, can you please give us some insight into the unfortunate condition of spinner Russell?" - Tamaya finally sums up their questions, as she takes a stock of the situation with aplomb I appreciate from a leader. I can see why she's an undisputed Elder of the Counsel, that kind of wit and quick take is impressive. Five minutes to sort out the half-panicked queries and wild theories, sum up the likely witnesses and formulate the question best suited to garner the needed information in amiable manner... Very good.

"Well..." - I hedge - "His name is Russell? Huh. Peculiar. Anyway, he visited me yesterday and... had a great many questions, let's say it like this. And zeal for posing them far exceeding my tolerance."aya facepalms and groans. "He outright ignored being told that you'd like to sleep, eat or bathe now and kept begging for "just one more question", I take it?" - she inquires with irritation - "My condolences, lady Gillespie. He never quite grew out of this childish habit, I'm afraid. Will he recover from whatever it was that happened to... actually, can you please just explain what happened to him to begin with?"

I shrug. "He asked a lot of questions about what lies beyond the world." - I tell her simply - "It occurred to me that he would not be bothering me with the questions if he could just go and have a look with his own eyes. So I tossed him just slightly outside of the world to circle around it and come back. I'm sure he has plenty of experiences to speak of. Though, I didn't think just visiting the border would be defiling to quite such a degree. Reasonably sure he would recover, though, given some peace and quiet. He does not seem to be manic, just overwhelmed with the experience."

"...I'm sorry, what?" - she repeats numbly - "He asked too many questions about what's outside the world, so you tossed him out so that he could see with his own eyes?"

I grumble. "Ok, look..." -I begin, as I toss together some basic illusions - "This is Sun. It is our star. The other stars out there are someone else's suns. Other worlds. The place we live on, the planet, is the globe of earth and water and stone and metal and air and other assorted things that rotates around the sun..." I keep my basic lecture on heliocentrism as basic as possible, because I can smell the frying venison on the air, and I'm getting hangry. Is the 'hold Alyssa up from simple pleasures' going to be a running gag while I'm in Evergreens? Anyway, I point out the clump representing the planet - "Here is where we are. It rotates around the sun in an ellipse and around its own axis. Axial rotation is what gives us day and night, orbital rotation is what gives us summer and winter." Finally, I trace a narrow circle around the planet - "And this is where Russell went last night. Barely a glimpse around, all things considered."

"..."

"Dear?" - Moon Unit pipes up when the silence becomes awkward - "Maybe ease up a little on revelations? Look, everyone's stunned."

She shakes her head and leans to Moon Unit. "Welp." - she proffers bleakly - "Our dear wife is apparently a man-eating monster sometimes. I'm concerned how little I am concerned about that."

"I prefer eldritch abomination, actuall... WATCH OUT!" - I begin, smoothly transitioning from banter to shoving Moon Unit and Lily-Anne to the side, as I see someone lunging for them from the opposite side. They both start to yelp, turning to see what alarmed me while still stumbling. Time dilation at hundred and twenty eight, by the way. I bat the dagger downwards, in the process probably dislocating the wrist holding it, consider the trajectory of the stabbing, come to the conclusion that it was aimed straight for Moon Unit's liver, become volcanically angry and bite the head of the would-be murderer off. And cringe. Her memories are straight-up unadulterated madness. A descendant of a clan infamous for women being shoggoth whisperers, apparently, and her sole reason for attacking Moon Unit was the inane conviction that her rightful place was "usurped" and that I would have rejoiced if she were to kill Moon Unit and step in herself.

"...aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" - Lily-Anne sums up her resulting feelings on the topic, as she flinches away from the corpse falling over. I...sigh. Burp. Bow my head. "I'm just having no luck here." - I complain to no one in particular.

___

Lily-Anne is not cool with it. At all. She is sitting on the bed with her knees to her chest, hugging herself and shivering under the blanket. Weirdly enough, my presence is not actually considered a hindrance, and she actively, if feebly, insists I stick around and hold her while she's setting her nerves down. Weird. I really really really REALLY need to try and amp down on monstrous behavior while within wife eyesight. Bridgit and Roxolane are next to us, clicking their tongues in concern. Roxy is slowly rubbing Lily-Anne's back, while Bridgit is giving her sips of warm tea with a splash of whiskey from the cup little by little. Moon Unit is next to me, leaning on me. And sipping a small bottle of rose tincture, while at it.

"What happened?" - Roxolane ventures after a moment of compassionate silence. Lily-Anne hiccups. "SSsomeone tttried to ssstab Mmmmooon aaaand Aly-aly...aa... eeet heeed... Fueeeee!" - she offers, hiccuping and stumbling over the words as she does.

"Alyssa did what?" - Roxolane repeats in confusion.

"Alyssa pushed me out of the way and bit the head off my would-be murderer." - Moon Unit proffers bluntly, her own voice having a bit of tremor to it.

"And I'm terribly sorry about doing that." - I state firmly - "It was a snap decision, and in retrospect I should have knocked her down and used more traditional interrogation methods. Moon Unit, Lily-Anne, I sincerely apologize."

Lily-Anne somehow finds enough magnanimousness in herself to pat my hand. "I, iiii, oh gods..." - she warbles, as she leans on me and starts crying for real - "Thaaaawhawhat was soooo scaaary!"

Mea culpa, girls. Mea culpa.