Chapter 829: NONSENSEMisha was running really fast, he didn't notice anything else and just ran toward the west building the officer pointed at. His chest felt tight while his whole body stiffened at the unwanted thoughts that kept invading his mind.
No. No.
He didn't want to think about anything bad, he didn't even want to think at this moment. His chest ached and every step he took felt like it wasn't fast enough.
Misha continued to run up the west building and found that there were already about four people at the end of the staircase. The four of them were visibly panicking as they tried to call for help through the communication devices they were holding and Misha immediately realized why they were doing so.
That was because they saw how Kia was standing at the edge of the building which was not secured with railings.
The roof of the west building was indeed not closed and was open to the public, especially for those who wanted to sunbathe and just enjoy the scenery.
Kia looked uneasy, she looked at the four officers and then at the view of the night city which looked very beautiful.
Her face looked very peaceful and calm, but it only made Misha uncomfortable. He preferred the emotional Kia, even her angry or crying self, but not this very calm figure.
"Kia," Misha called softly, he didn't want to surprise her with his presence. "Could you come down for a second? I have something to talk about," he said softly, despite the rumbling in his chest, ignoring the fact that, with just one wrong move, Kia would fall off the seventh floor of this building.
Kia blinked and looked at Misha, her eyes looked blank and she muttered something.
"I didn't hear what you said, may I come closer? So I can hear more clearly?" Misha asked her for permission.
Kia didn't say anything, but Misha took tentative steps to get closer to Kia after taking a deep breath.
He stopped when Kia frowned and glanced back at the city lights that looked so beautiful from up there.
"Kia, come down, let's go see Mika," said Misha in a soft voice, coaxing her carefully, because he didn't know what was going on in Kia's mind right now. He had to make sure he did this properly. He couldn't afford any mistakes.
"The view is so beautiful from up here," Kia said in a mumbling voice and her voice was much louder than before, which made Misha hear it quite clearly.
Meanwhile, the four guards behind Misha were trying to communicate with the others and call for help. On the other hand, Misha was trying to focus on Kia, who was standing only five steps away from him, almost at the edge of the building.
Misha looked up and found Kia looking really pretty under the moonlight and the night sky. The dress she was wearing fluttered in the night breeze, she looked beautiful, almost like a painting.
But, if this was the last memory that Misha would have of her, of course, this would be the worst memory that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"Yes, may I also come up and see it?" Misha asked again. He wouldn't have the time to run and catch Kia's body at this distance, if Kia suddenly wanted to follow her impulsive desires. "I said that time, didn't I? To take me up on the roof if you want to go to a place like this?"
Misha had said this before when he got the report, but he didn't know that something like this would really happen and he didn't know how to deal with it.
"Kia, come here."
"I'm sick. I feel pain," said Kia while looking at Misha. "It hurt so bad, but then the pain went away and now I don't know what to think about."
Misha gritted his teeth, even though he was trying to control his emotions, it was very difficult to do so. "Can you think about Mika? She's waiting for you."
Kia frowned. "Mika is also in pain. She was also in pain and it pained me to see her like that. I can not take it anymore."
Misha took one step closer. Four more steps and he would be able to reach Kia.
"Hold on a little longer."
"I don't want to… I've endured this far and all I've received is pain."
Misha took a deep breath before carefully saying. "Haven't you survived this far? It would be a shame if you had to stop before seeing the end."
"There is no end. This pain has no end."
Kia felt very hopeless. Everything that hurt her kept happening. Even though she now had someone she could rely on, for some reason she felt very tired and wanted to just end all of this.
"I don't want to feel this pain anymore." Kia stared at Misha blankly. "I'm tired, very tired."
"Come here, you can rest with me. The three of us will rest if you feel tired."
"A lot of people hurt me."
"I will make those who hurt you pay."
Kia then looked at Misha with a sad look. "You hurt me too." Her memory must have taken her to the time four years ago.
It seemed that the time sequence in Kia's mind was irregular and all she could imagine were sad memories.
This happened because of the extreme sense of shock she experienced at the realization that she would lose Mika. She could lose the little girl at any moment and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Therefore, even before the pain could start, Kia wanted to stop it. Her fear of the pain of losing her daughter made her mind very unstable.
It was very difficult to understand the minds of people like Kia, because their way of thinking was really complex and unpredictable.
"You can do anything to make me pay. You must live to make me pay for what I did to you. Even if you have to live to hate me, you should at least be here to watch Mika grow up."
"I don't hate you and I hate the fact that I don't hate you even after what you did to me." Kia's face scrunched up, she shook her head. "I do not hate you. I don't hate my family. I don't hate them, but I…" Kia tried to find the right words to say, which could represent her current feelings. "… I am disappointed."
She felt very disappointed at her family's attitude where they tried to leverage Mika's well being just to meet her. Even though she had already made it very clear that she didn't want to meet, they couldn't respect that.
Even if Kia didn't show any exaggerated reactions, it seemed like she had bottled up all those feelings and ignored them.
She harbored all these negative feelings for a long time, even therapy didn't really help her to dig deeper into all those feelings one by one, because they were all buried so deep and sometimes she didn't even remember them.
It was just that, the great shock at the thought of losing her only daughter had made all those dark feelings burst out and made her unable to hold back wave after wave of immense pain and disappointment. Everything came out, rearing its ugly head all at once and Kia couldn't get over all the feelings.
Especially when she hadn't been taking her medication regularly recently, while Misha couldn't possibly be with her twenty-four hours every day.
"Kia… Come here, Mika is waiting for you. What should I tell her if she's looking for you?" Misha begged her. He felt that if he had to kneel before Kia, he would do that, if that was enough, then he would. "She's looking for you, remember? I said it over the phone this afternoon. She's looking for you, what should I tell her if she can't find you later."
Kia was silent; she looked like she was thinking about it. "Mika can't be helped anymore," she said in a very desperate voice. "There's nothing we can do to help her. I don't want to go through the pain."
"Then what about Mika? should she go through the pain?"
"She won't survive…" Kia said desperately. She felt so close to losing her daughter and that feeling made her feel so scared, she wanted to run away from everything that was hurting her.
"Nonsense!" growled Misha. "She will be fine!" Misha knew that Kia was in low spirits, but to imagine them losing Mika made him unable to hold back his emotions. Especially when she was still breathing and still had hope. "We've got the medical history from your sister, there will definitely be something the doctors can do. Will you throw away that hope?"
Kia gasped and fell silent, she didn't say anything and lowered her head.
"I don't know how to make her eat well or talk to her, I don't know what to prepare for the first day of school and how to calm her when she cries, I don't know how to appease her when she is upset or what kind of food she likes or dislikes… I don't know what to say to make her feel good when she's sad. I don't even know what to do when she grows up and likes a guy. I would definitely go crazy if she started talking about the guy she likes.
"I don't know them and many more things. I need you to guide me and Mika needs you as her mother to help her through it all."
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*Read my new book: The Alpha: Claiming His Enemy's Daughter*
Alpha Cane's revenge for his and his people's slavery.