Chapter 276 Saying goodbye

Chapter 276  Saying goodbye

"Oh? What did you come up with?" My other self tilted her head, curious what kind of idea I had thought of.

"Well, Mana comes from the soul, and technically right now we should be in our soul form, I guess." It wasn't too far-fetched since this dream-like state might be an illusion created by the cube Tyso put me in.

"That makes sense, I don't have a physical body, so this must be just my soul taking form." My other self looked down at herself, trying to see if there was a way to tell, but other than logic, there was no way to confirm visually.

"Yes, so my idea was that we try to merge our mana together. I don't know if there is a specific way, but I think this will work." If what Tyso said is correct, then souls are just lumps of mana. I have no clue about the biology of it all, but I'm guessing it's similar to genes, where souls are comprised of fragments of our parents' mana.

"Interesting, I think so too, but if we do this and it works, then it would mean goodbye." There was a sad glint in her eyes as she would be giving up her soul.

"Don't put it like that, you will always be alive even if you lose this form. Just know that from now on we will be one and the same. It may be scary to think about things going black, but the reality is we will be working together to protect Elysia, Clara, Silver, and anyone dear to us." I even started to become emotional, as I didn't want to say goodbye. This may be the first time we are speaking, but she is still me. Without her existence I wouldn't be here.

She may be okay with the idea, but when the time comes to go through with it I'm sure she'll be beset by doubts. What if things go wrong? Will it work? Is it worth it? All these questions would surely race through her mind.

"I know, but I can't help but feel scared. I haven't been watching what was going on outside and have no idea if we really are capable of protecting everyone." It was perfectly understandable for her to feel this way, especially without knowing what's been going on.

"It will be okay, I will make sure that we are just fine and I can tell you with confidence that I and everyone else are getting prepared for what's to come. Trust me, you just have to remind yourself that once we merge we will be fighting together. You won't have to face these dangers on your own." I knew encouraging myself could go in two ways. Either she would accept my words and motivate herself, or she'll only sink further into doubt. I prayed that my own words were enough to build some more confidence in myself.

"Yeah, you're right. This will be my chance to finally help you—well, myself, but that's besides the point. I will no longer be watching from the sidelines, nor constantly stuck in limbo." The sadness in her eyes vanished now that she had made her resolve about merging. It was a relief for me to hear her confidence which in turn also made me more confident about the situation.

"Alright, come here, I'll give you one last hug, and then we can get this over with." Opening up my arms to myself, she instantly dived right into my chest.

"Ahh, I can't wait, I've always wanted a body like this." I was probably enjoying it a little too much, and I couldn't help but giggle as this was myself.

'Am I really this shameless?' It was a reality check of the kind of person I am, which made me wonder if this is what Elysia and Clara think of me.

"Just let me know when you are ready, we can probably do everything in this position anyway." I wrapped my hands around myself because I wanted to comfort her as much as possible before we started.

"If I stay too long, I won't want to leave, so begin whenever." Hugging me tighter, I almost didn't want to continue this myself, but this needed to be done.

"Let's begin then. Flow mana through your body and then into me." Giving instructions to myself, I also began to do the same thing. I felt a slight nod, and a few moments later the warmth from her body slowly got stronger until suddenly I felt that warmth invade my body.

"One last thing before we continue, were you the reason why I went all berserk back in, I think it was called.. Cholden?" It occurred to me that there was one time that I lost control of my own body, and I always thought it was my other self that did that.

"Cholden… Oh yeah, that was me. Before I really understood what happened to me, I was really invested in what was going on, and the people you teamed up with were exactly like my childhood friends. Sorry if that caused you any problems." Admitting that it was her, I wondered whether she could have taken back full control of her body on her own. Or, perhaps, it was the system intervening, making sure I always stay on top?

My suspicions were growing even more about the system, and even though it helped me greatly, there was the chance it had been programmed with ulterior motives for some purpose.

'Rea is under strict watch about what she can and cannot tell us, both regarding her own existence and anything beyond. As far as we know this whole world might just be some kind of experiment. There is also my old goal of returning home, which I'm not even sure if I want to do anymore… Perhaps I'll meet the god that did this to me if I continue to try.' It would be something I will need to think about later, but since I am getting close to tier 10, maybe then I will get some answers.

'"I see, I was just curious if that was the case." Not wanting to make myself worry, I brushed it off and continued to circulate mana.

Slowly accepting the mana from my other self, I started to flow mine into her body. We created a circuit with our mana, and once it was complete, our bodies started glowing.

"It looks like it's working." It was a good sign, but then I noticed my other self was now hanging onto me as if she was trying to pull herself up.

"Yep! It also seems like my body is disappearing the more mana I give you." Putting more strength into holding her up, I looked down to see that her feet were missing. The bottom half of her body was completely covered in light, and fragments would break off before disappearing into thin air.

"Keep going, you're doing great." It was morbid to see myself disappear right in front of me, but I was already feeling the effects of the merge.

"Thanks, it doesn't hurt, but damn, could I have gotten some warning before they took out my legs?" Making light of the situation, we laughed in unison while I tried not to drop her.

"I guess not, but if there is anything you need to say, now is the time." I figured it would be good to check if she had any last words before disappearing.

"I'm sure you will inherit these thoughts anyway, but please save Mother and Father. It's probably the one thing I'm sad about not seeing through on my own, but knowing me, I'm sure I will save them."

"Of course, I'll try my best, and hopefully Freja finds a way soon." It was a given, but relief washed over my other self's face, finding some peace and trusting me that it would all go well.

"Also, you better give Elysia and Clara some more love, I know it feels like you shouldn't, and I would have done the same, but some more affection won't hurt, even if it already feels like a lot."

"Of course... since I am here giving myself advice... I'll have to make sure to be more affectionate then."

"Hehe, good, now lastly... Thank you for talking to me. It's much better than falling into the abyss."

"No worries, I felt like I learned more about myself, so thank you for existing." Giving my own tight squeeze, the light had reached her torso, and it wouldn't be long before she was fully absorbed in me.

Tears started seeping from my eyes as I too felt a pang of regret. I wanted to talk a bit longer, but we had already committed to this.

"Hey, you're not allowed to cry, only I can." Tears streamed down my other self's face as she gave me a slight jab. However, that hit only resulted in her arm shattering into tiny fragments of light before fading away.

"Sorry, but I'm you, haha." I let the tears fall while making eye contact, making sure I got one last good look at myself.

"True, I can't argue that." We tried to stop our tears, but they did not stop coming out at all.

"G-goodbye me." Saying my last goodbye as the light reached her neck, I almost wanted to look away, but I held strong.

"Cya, make good use of that body. Just as you said, we will always be together, so continue to be strong, you can do this." As she gave me her last words of encouragement, I could only nod in response. It felt like if I tried speaking back, I would burst into tears, and I didn't want that to be the last thing she saw.

A smile appeared on her face right before she disappeared completely, fading away like a dying candle.

Once the last bit of light faded, I finally let my emotions go free. I fell to my knees, sobbing and grabbing at thin air, hoping in the back of my mind that she would still be there.

As I sobbed, it wasn't long before my body began to glow as a surge of mana welled up inside me. A mind-splitting headache followed shortly as all the memories and experiences of my other self rushed into my mind.

"Arghh!" I cried out in pain while still sobbing, feeling everything my other self had gone through. I shut my eyes, trying my best to withstand the pain, but eventually, I couldn't handle it any longer and passed out on the ground.