Chapter 57: Yokomichi Hajime

Chapter 57: Yokomichi Hajime

The name’s Yokomichi Hajime. Just a bit of an otaku, but otherwise a perfectly normal high school student.

September the 21st. It’s yet another lifeless Monday. Haah, man, life sucks balls. Even when I’m dead tired from watching late-night anime in real-time, do I really gotta do this in literally the crack of dawn? Make Mondays in the afternoon. How about you make that a law, damn useless politicians. I’m a taxpayer ain’t I? For like, when buying shit.

So while having these deep thoughts about politics and shit, my cool and mannerly face makes it to class perfectly on time.

“Fuu—, bufuuu—”

Panting hard. What the fuck, why’s my class gotta be in the frik’kin’ 3rd floor. You wanna cripple me every morning? I’m not payin’ cheap tuition here, get a damn escalator. Like c’mon, it’s literally the 21st century.

“Bufuh, look guys, Porky’s wheezin’ a lung out”

“Didn’cha hear him go oink oink just now?”

“Dude, don’t be mean, you KNOW Porky can only make porky noises”

Oy, I can hear you, totem-poles. What’s with these fuckin’ mob characters. Wanna fight me? I got the absolute MASS to crush you flat faggets. Are you literally retarded? This is kung-fu 101.

Ahh, screw this, today’s just a plain, shit day. Fuck you too, damn small-fries.

But I’m not one to cause a ruckus. I’m super gentle, and a pacifist too, so I’ll let those fuckwads off with a little stern look.

Hmph, damn right, ya losers. They stopped their retarded yapping after I looked a little. Scared of my bloodlust no doubt. I can take down small-fry of their ilk with some simple eye cont—

“—Oi Porky, the fuck you look’nat”

“BUUH!? I-I’m wasn’t...”

“Ah? Lyin’ to me, bitch? If ya got something to say, say it lardass”

“Hey like, isn’t that enough Higuchi~? Yokomichi’s scared outta his pants”

“But Kyouko, fags like that gotta be—”

“Dude, we’re like, totally not first-name BFFs”

“What’s the big deal, wai-, ow, stop hitting me, hey”

Ff, Fuck... All these fucks... Fuckin’ DQN Higuchi. He got the totem-pole trio as his lackeys and acts all high and mighty. Loser king of the loser monkeys. Fucking bastard, if I got serious, you’re dead mate. I’ll get you someday. I’ll fuck you up.

Higuchi Kyouya. In short, a delinquent. A piece of DQN scum that doesn’t belong in our high performance demanding prep-school, Shiramine Private Academy. He’s the type of human trash I hate most.

And I have to add that Japanese laws are too soft for letting this sort of bastard roam freely. DQNs like him should be on put down. It’s because they let these scum of the earth have rights that we still can’t achieve world piece.

Once I think up a means to a perfect crime, it’s hasta la vista baby.

Have fun with that little slut of yours, while you can.

Tch, Randou Kyouko you fucking slut. Don’t go around thinking you saved me you bitch. Any woman hanging around DQN scum are just as bad.

Just look at her, this Kyouko girl looks like an absolute slut every way you look at her. No way she isn’t selling herself. 30,000 for one go I bet.

Her hair’s even dyed blonde. It’s an dirty yellow unlike Reina, who’s a natural. And it don’t suit you either, ugly. She’s all glitzy with a metric ton of make-up on, and looks like those prettied up actresses (hags) you see on TV.

Not to mention, that tan. Like Oi Oi woman. Her skin’s burnt brown like those ganguro gals. She’s like a girl version of those totem-poles, but even her group of cronies don’t have their skin baked like that.

Blond hair and black skin, she’s like a model slut if I’ve ever seen one. A dirty woman who’s probably lost her virginity in the 5th grade.

But, I will acknowledge those big tits and ass. If it’s just the tits, she’d be #1 in our class 2-7 that’s full of all the hot chicks. She’s the biggest— well, if we don’t count that irregular of a pig that is Futaba Meiko, she’s still #1. Trust me on this. Kenzaki Asuna and Takanashi Kotori have big ones, sure, but Kyouko’s are massive.

Just do JAVs already. I’ll even fap to it twice for you— oh crap, popped a boner.

“Bufuu—”T/his chapter is updated by nov(ê(l)biin.co/m

Well, the goblin went down with one shot. Then, I got 3 EXP!

Yeah no, there’s no EXP. Still WTF, how come there’s no Status Screen here? How am I supposed to check my growth if there’s no leveling system? I guess it’s that. You can’t see your stats unless you get a card from an Adventurer’s Guild?

Whatever. I just beat this goblin, so I got my hands on the rusty sword it had. It was sorta slimy to hold, and had this awful stink, pretty much the worst grade weapon, but holding a real sword... Kukuh, how should I describe this, like your blood is boiling? Seems like, even though I was a perfectly good, law abiding, citizen and student in my peaceful homeland, I was in fact, a born warrior at heart.

“Buheheh... Ain’t gonna lose now”

A wild Goblin appears!

Is it the last one’s friend? After I got my sword, they kept coming one after the other. But small-fry, they are still.

“With my insane talent, I don’t even need a damn Cheat!”

Force Boost: Boosts Strength. Strength of a Warrior.

Toughness: New vitality rushes into the body. Even in battles of attrition, it bolsters courage.

Accel Boost: Reaction speed boost. Speed boost. Dodge the enemy’s attack, and counter.

The Warrior’s novice skills are nothing special and are all common stat boosts. BUT. It’s well within my talents to go from Common Skills to World’s Strongest.

With a single rusty sword, I gloriously curb-stomped like, 10 of those goblins.

Slash: Boosts attack power. A sharp strike cuts the enemy.

And I quickly got a battle art too.

“Buhahah! Hell yeah I’m strong! I’m hella strong... And I’mma get stronger!”

Whether it’s goblins, or skeletons, or zombies, or zombie dogs, I fucking ended them all. The more I kill, the stronger I get. There’s no Level display, but I know, I know it in my gut. I can feel my Status rising like no tomorrow. I learned a shit load of new skills and battle arts too.

Ahh, this is it, this is that exhilaration you feel when you grow right? It’s fucking great. I can’t go back to vidya after experiencing this. That stuff is for retards.

“Fuck YEAH! I’m simply awesome! I’m lucky as fuck!”

From this rickety box that positively screamed ‘treasure chest’, I got my hands on a real sword. Rusty swords are so trash, who’d even use that junk.

This one didn’t have a smidgen of rust. It’s a brand-spankin’-new blade. And big too. The blade-width is double that of the goblin’s sword, and the length easily surpassed a meter. Like a bastard sword? Donno man.

But it’s definitely got a size and weight that normal people wouldn’t be able to handle. That’s right, this isn’t for plebs.

I’m different. If I try picking it up with my epic strength— Look, so easy. It’s just the right weight. Yeah, it was such a pain in the ass cutting away at all those small-fries that came in packs. A big sword to mow ’em down is what real pros do.

“UHoh!? Holy balls, this is EPIC!”

I literally blew away 3 goblins in one fell swoop. O-fucking-P. I’m getting too OP here.

I can’t get enough of this euphoria from slaughtering these half-pints. All their blood splashing everywhere is disgusting, but with the high I get from putting them through a human blender, I don’t give a single fuck. The buzz is real.

“Bufuuh, getting tired of these weaklings. I need myself a boss fight”

It happened right as my zeal for dungeon capture was at an all time high.

“Somebody, help—”

(Notes from lion mask)

**Author's Postscript (Paraphrased):**

Says he made the arc 5 Q&A as usual, please read if you can.

He got new reviews for Shaman too. Says that Shaman is still not there compared to Kuro no Maou, so he's glad if there's even one more new reader.

TN: I... went a little crazy with this chapter... BUT! I feel it is in character so do understand!

Editor here. From here to chapter 63, translation credit goes to Lion Mask and source can be found here. I'm doing simple edits and posting here for NU purposes. Again, as I mentioned in chapter 141, another TLer joined and he's gonna start doing chapters in the correct order from next week or so.