Chapter 31: Chapter 31 - Kurenai 2

My name is Yuuhi Kurenai.

I always thought… I would be Sarutobi Kurenai, one day.

When there was time.

I even got an engagement ring. I wear it all the time.

But, that's how it is with the armed forces. We all think things like 'some day, when it all settles down'.

Well it never settles down. It only settles down when you die, as Asuma found out.

Even in 'peace' we have raids every week from those dispossessed of their mercenary work.

This world will never be safe for me or my daughter.

I feel so desperate for strong arms to hold me my soon-to-be daughter, and a gruff voice to tell me it will all be ok.

I bill myself as an independent, mature woman. And I was. But now, with every day my powers leave me. As surely as if I had lost an arm, and twice as debilitating for a ninja.

And yet what can I do about it? I'm weakened. It's just a fact. I'm frail and delicate as I am now.

And now I feel so unsafe. I feel so lonely. I feel so needy. I feel so ugly, with this distended belly.

The days without Asuma blend together into a solid grey mess. They swirl about me as I stand still in my house and weep.

It feels like just yesterday when I stood, hands over my womb, dressed in all black, watching him descend into the earth.

It felt like a Genjutsu. Like I was trapped within myself, waiting in a distended version of time. A Tsukiyomi of my own making.

But like a dream within a dream, Naruto stormed in. He swept me up in himself.

He's torrential and wild like the wind. I'm breathless as we ride through the town in a cozy carriage he's hired.

The streets whiz by. A sharp corner almost rattles me but his hand is already around my shoulders.

Oh…

I try to tell him that I'm fine, but I'm held into his chest. I'm held so securely. His other hand rests over my ballooning baby bump.

He's securing bot me and my baby carefully. His calm eyes are staring down at me with pure-hearted concern.

But being pressed into his chest, I can smell his cologne, and my mind is filled with bad thoughts.

I can feel the marbled texture of his chest - it's been so fucking long since I've been against a man- and I can imagine vividly what he's hiding under that loose orange dress-shirt.

I feel lost, staring back. The words, whatever I had intended to say, were lost in my throat. I just stared up and before I knew it we had arrived. I felt so safe the whole time. I felt secured by his arms around me and when I saw the lights of the cinema I almost begged the driver to take another drive around the block, but I caught the sight of Hinata and bit my lip in remorse.

Hinata was like my daughter. I remember, once upon a time, I had visited the Hyuuga Estate to take her on as my charge, under the regular forces. It was rare for a Hyuuga to join. Her father had said: "The Hyuuga clan has no place for the weak."

She was my daughter and this was her man. Her man with the glowing blonde hair and the breathtaking blue eyes.

I'm only borrowing him.

He opened the door for us, acting the gentleman. He kissed our hands as he guided us down one at a time from the carriage.

Hinata giggled in delight.

My daughter had taught her man well, it seemed. I heard reports about Naruto's stubbornness. But there's always a way to get a lesson through. I'm certain my student has the assets at hand to incentives a young man like Naruto.

As for me... Maybe it was the feel of his lips on the back of my hand. Maybe it was how his dreamy blue eyes stayed locked on me as he kissed my hand. I faltered and my high heel got stuck in a gap between the stairs. I tripped on descent. I fell into his arms. It was an accident, I swear.

But his arms were so firm around me that I was in a daze the whole way in to the theater.

He tipped the driver.

I tried to object.

"You paid for the trip. I'll tip." I offered.

"Not while on a date with me, you won't." Naruto said, tossing the coin away and waving away the young driver. "Don't you see how jealous he was, seeing me with two glamorous women?"

"I… uhm…." I trailed off.

"I can walk on my own now. I just tripped." I complained. "I'm pregnant, not an invalid."

He didn't reply, but he didn't move his hand either.

The way his arm wrapped around my hip was making me dizzy.

"Three for the eight o'clock." Naruto said casually.

The ticket girl glanced us over, but I couldn't say if it was disdain from at a man bringing two obviously dressed up women out on a date, or if it was envy that she wasn't the third.

As I had been waiting for this, I snapped open my blue purse. After all he had paid for the carriage.

"I can pay for…"

I trailed off. I looked at the price carefully.

I hadn't taken missions in seven months, and all sorts of…

"Let's all pay for our own tickets. I'll…"

"Woman."

He said that with a deep growl bleeding into his voice. A throaty, raspy growl.

My eyes fluttered at the sound of command in his tone. My vagina wa hot and wet, twitching in excitement as if he were fucking me.

And I knew that he wasn't putting up with any more than that.

His hand on my hip squeezed me tighter, almost pinching me.

My knees briefly buckled but his arm around me held me upright and firm.

…Fuck me.

Fuck me, please?

I haven't had a man in so long.

"I'm a man, and I'm going to take care of everything." He said, tilting my chin up. "It's a man's job. Do you think I can't take care of it?"

It was hard to look him in the eyes, I just wanted him to fuck me so bad.

"I didn't mean that." I breathed. "I'm a woman, but I'm independent."

"Say that again?" He asked.

"I said I'm a woman but I'm…" The words died in my throat. Something about his eyes.

"Everyone's worried about you." He chastised with a frown. "My fiancee is at your house once or even twice a day to help look after you, and you always let her in."

"Well I…" I started to feel the familiar creep of guilt into my gut.

Hinata, bless her soul, was tugging in warning at her fiancee's sleeve.

I know. I know that she doesn't want him to say too much. She doesn't want me to explode into guilt and rage and push people away while I huddle in a corner with Asuma's pipe.

"No! Ah! I mean!" I spluttered in a panic, waving my hands. And in a meek, very small voice I said: "S-sorry…"

"What are you?" He asked again. I could tell that he wouldn't ask me another time, and I had better get the answer right.

"I'm a woman." I obediently replied.

"You were once a kunoichi. And that's fine. You did your job as a soldier. Now you create life." He said gently, caressing my belly. "And you're doing your job as a woman."

Oh his words washed over me like a balm. It's so strange that his misogyny had this effect on me, but I make my confession: there is something terribly enchanting about misogyny. Like a sweet scented poison it draws you in.

And I desperately wanted to drink from his cup.

I wouldn't have to worry about all these fucking bills and providing an income, and counting change, and talking to landlords and protecting myself and my baby.

It's hard enough to be a mother. It's hard to be caring and nurturing, and make a home. Do I have to be a father too? Can't I just create the miracle of life? Is it not enough?

His arms are so strong. His scent is masculine and musky.

Oh. He is handsome and generous and I want to know if he can reach the spots Asuma wasn't quite gifted enough to scratch.

My guilt and my fears were melting into a puddle at my feet.

If he's a player, then he's played me in full. He could take me any time. I knew it.

I was like a ripe cherry just begging to be plucked. My panties were soaked. My thighs were rubbing together weakly. My breaths came in short, desperate pants. I couldn't look away from those endless blue eyes.

By this point of my pregnancy, my belly had become large and almost hard from the strain of childbirth.

But he may as well be caressing my naked clit, he was turning me on so fucking much.

My brain was going crazy. I can't go jumping him. What would anyone say if they saw a 7 month pregnant woman push a younger man down to **** the fuck out of him, in public, and before his fiancee?

But my brain didn't care.

I began to hallucinate images of myself, hands pushed desperately against the wall for support as this blonde hunk pumped me full of his seed.

I'm just waiting for him to fuck me. I'm waiting for the movie to be over. I want him to take me home.

My place - no. Asuma was there. Like a ghost his presence haunted me. His pictures, his old clothes, his pipe: all were there. I had clung to them, not wanting to let him go. I had nurtured his ghost in my home.

But now I didn't want to go back to that. And it was a betrayal, in a way. His child was still in my womb but here I am desperate to change ownership to a new man. It's not even been a year.

His place. His place. His place.

No Asuma there. A clean start. No distractions. A new place. New memories. A new bed.

Me on my back, like a woman. Being used for his pleasure, like a woman.

Being taken care of, like a woman.

Fuck yes. Yes please.

My head was awash with need.

I saw myself tangled in those stupid red ropes they have, wrists twisted around in them. I would be bent down, my with the metal rod that connected those fluffy red ropes pressed between my ample breasts. He would flip my dress up, spank my disobedient ass, pull my lacy panties aside and fuck me right in front of the Sunday night movie cinema crowd.

Let them all see as I was claimed and owned. Let them hear my howls of delight.

My head wasn't thinking straight.

Of course, I didn't offer to pay for the popcorn or the drinks. I'm a woman. The man paid.

He kept his arm around my waist. I walked as if drunk, following him into the dark theater.

I know he's engaged to my student but I have to have him.

I know he's just supposed to take me out to stretch my legs. It's not a real date but I need to get him between my legs.

My tricky illusionist mind began to scheme and concoct but one patient smile from him blew all that out of my head.

I could only rub my fat, milk heavy breasts against his chest like a bitch in heat.

Fuck me.

Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me.

Just Fuck me please. Oh please, pretty please mister, won't you please just fuck me?