The much awaited renewal of the EC Store and its promotions finally started in March.
Although the two of them hadn’t put it into words, they were both working hard on this project as a do-over of their failure two years ago. That’s why, as soon as the first sales from the Sales Department’s EC division came in, Chihiro immediately forwarded it to Mukai.
He got a phone call without delay.
“I saw the report just now. It’s looking great.”
At the time, Chihiro was in the convention center’s parking lot. It was the first day of the Crime Prevention Fair that took place each year, and he had just finished the preparations to bring in the merchandise.
“Thank you very much. Thanks to A Works, we got off to a strong start.”
The proceeds greatly exceeded the EC division’s initial target, and they got tons of inquiries from all directions. After careful preparations, he had felt the response, but actually seeing the numbers was what made him feel a sense of accomplishment all the more. Chihiro was also happy that Mukai was pleased with the response.
“You’ll receive an official report from the manager at EC as well.”
“By the way, the exhibition starts today, right? If it’s not a bother, I would like to drop by for a little bit. Is that alright?”
They thanked each others’ efforts for a while, and then as Chihiro checked the time on his wrist watch, feeling reluctant to hang up, Mukai had asked that unexpected question.
“I have some business close by today. It’s a bit rude to say while I’m on the way, but might as well.”
“Yes, if that’s the case, absolutely please drop by.” Chihiro’s voice bounced. His heart was throbbing in delight.
He had been thinking what if they wouldn’t have a chance to see each other again.
Once the promotions started, there would be no need to meet with Mukai, and even if Hata proposed they celebrate, there was a high probability that their schedules wouldn’t line up.
Also, the unofficial announcement for Chihiro’s transfer had already gone out. He would be in charge of a newly established Public Relations Management Department and move up a rank.
He had been thinking that it would be nice to have one final proper goodbye, so this was a golden opportunity.
Just the thought of seeing Mukai made his heart rate suddenly speed up.
After putting the rest of the equipment into the station wagon, Chihiro headed for the venue. The jacket for the exhibition was the same no matter how he adjusted it, but he still stopped in front of the mirror on the hallway wall to fix his cuffs.
I want to see him soon.
I wonder when he’ll get here.
His impatience was increasing and he regretted not asking Mukai around what time he’d arrive. He could have also asked him to get lunch together while he was at it. Thinking that far, Chihiro suddenly stopped in his tracks. Dammit. He had been so happy to hear that Mukai was coming that he hadn’t been thinking clearly.
Should I call him and ask now?
The surrounding area near the venue’s entrance was full of people hauling in merchandise and equipment. Chihiro scooted behind a pillar so he wouldn’t be in people’s way and took out his phone. But he hesitated. Mukai was probably in his office at this time, busy with morning meetings or checking his schedule. Even if he didn’t have any work, interrupting him would be troublesome. To begin with, Mukai was already taking time out of his busy schedule to drop by, so Chihiro hesitated again.
He regretted not having asked him when he had called but it was too late.
Maybe if he had some free time after he arrived, they could stop by a coffee shop for a little bit, Chihiro consoled himself and joined the wave of people into the venue hall.
“Minami-san”
Just as he was approaching the perfectly set-up NITTA booth, and saw Hata and Ochi opening up a bundle of flyers, he sped up, about to go lend a hand, when someone tapped his shoulder from behind.
“Eh, eeeh??” He was so surprised, he let out a wild screech.
Luckily, their surroundings were already loud so no one paid attention, but the person who had tapped his shoulder went wide eyed.
“Mu-Mukai-san?”
“I’m sorry for scaring you.” Mukai was also surprised at Chihiro’s reaction.
Chihiro was so embarrassed, his cheeks heated up.
“I didn’t mention it just now. I was already close by.”
“Ah, is-is that so…”
It was too sudden and he wasn’t mentally prepared. Mukai was neatly dressed in a suit as usual, and it seemed like he had come by car because he had nothing else in his hands.
“The booth set-up, was that planned by Hata-san?”
“No, this time it was me.”
Arriving in front of the NITTA booth, Chihiro was a little nervous being asked that by Mukai. He was entirely used to exhibitions by now, and these days it was Chihiro who was completely in charge. He had made various introductory plans for the EC site this time as well.
“Ah, Mukai-san”
“Thank you for taking the trouble to come all the way here.”
“I had some business nearby,” Mukai cheerfully greeted Hata and Ochi and casually inspected the booth.
Now that Mukai was no longer part of the group, even if he had any reservations, he probably wouldn’t voice them, Chihiro thought to himself and felt anxious.
“How is it?”
“It looks good.” Mukai answered briefly to Chihiro, who was about to ask if he had noticed anything. “Very good.”
Mukai, who had been carefully inspecting the booth, turned to face Chihiro. The moment their eyes met, Chihiro felt a sting in his chest.
“It’s very well thought out. It’s been very informative.”
Chihiro knew that he wasn’t just throwing out empty compliments. He also knew that he wasn’t just talking about the booth itself.
The moment he felt that he had been acknowledged, his whole body became hot and let out a slight tremble. Something hot was welling up in the back of his throat.
━━Mukai acknowledged my work.
“Excuse me for a bit.”
Unable to endure the flood of tears, Chihiro bowed his head to no one in particular and walked away. He quickly walked through the bustle of people.
He was unbearably happy. And at the same time, unbearably sad.
He didn’t know what to do with this love that had grown beyond control.
Now that their contact through work was gone, and he wouldn’t be able to see Mukai anymore, maybe the feelings would end up disappearing eventually. He wished he could at least confess his feelings, but he couldn’t do something like that to Mukai who already had a partner. He was acquainted with Isaki so it was all the more reason he couldn’t do that.
He walked towards smaller and smaller crowds of people, and before he realized, he had ended up in a deserted hall. There was a half-open door nearby, and when he peeked in, he saw evenly spaced out kitchen counters and sinks. It seemed like a room used for cooking class or cooking events.
He wanted to calm down so he walked into the room and leaned on the wall while taking deep breaths. The tears he was trying to hold back were about to burst out. Chihiro hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Doing his best to reign in his emotions, he took deep breath after deep breath, and finally he calmed down just a little.
Everyone was probably surprised by his sudden leaving. They were probably worried about his condition.
I should go back, he got up from the wall and took one more deep breath.
As he left the room, he took his phone out from his jumper and upon checking it, just as he thought, he had received a message from Hata asking if he was alright.
<I apologize, I’m coming back in a moment>
After typing a quick reply, he lifted his head and saw a tall man walking towards him from the end of the hallway.
“Mukai-san”
Worried that he was already leaving, Chihiro called out to him. Upon noticing Chihiro, Mukai half ran towards him.
“Minami-san, are you alright? Are you feeling unwell?”
Realizing that Mukai had come searching for him, Chihiro was startled.
“S-sorry! I’m alright.”
“Your eyes are red.” Mukai was staring at him worriedly.
“No, it’s nothing, I’m really alright.”
“You must be exhausted?”
“Eeh, I guess…” Chihiro replied vaguely, evading the question and gave him a smile showing he was alright.
“I heard that you will be transferring soon, Minami-san.” Walking back towards the venue together, Mukai started talking. “Ochi-san seemed dejected about it.”
“It’s still just an unofficial announcement though.”
“Then, it seems that we won’t meet anymore.” Mukai mumbled quietly.
We won’t meet anymore…
Chihiro unconsciously stopped walking. Mukai, who was one step ahead, turned around and looked at Chihiro.
“What’s wrong?” Mukai grabbed Chihiro’s arm in a fluster. “Are you alright? Your complexion…”
“I…”
When Mukai had grabbed his arm, Chihiro felt like his breath would stop. He was overwhelmed with emotion, and the moment he uttered a word, the rest burst out.
“I like you, Mukai-san.”
Mukai’s hand that was holding Chihiro’s arm jolted. He was speechless from the shock.
“So-sorry, saying this so suddenly. I don’t n-need anything like a reply. I feel bad for Isaki-san, and I never planned on saying anything, but I thought if I don’t, I won’t be able to move fo-forward.”
He felt his temple throbbing crazily.
While impulsively confessing, Nanase’s laughing face saying ‘I was dumped but I felt good’ came to mind.
Summoning the courage to confess, being rejected, being sad about it as much as is needed- only by doing that can you get back on your feet. Then you can move on.
I want to move on.
Mukai let go of Chihiro’s arm and stood there dumbfounded. Chihiro faced him properly.
“I’m glad I got to work together again with you, Mukai-san. Since we probably won’t meet again, I wanted to s-say it.” His trembling voice was unsightly. But he didn’t care about how he looked.
“I, I’ve fallen for you, Mukai-san.” He raised his voice and said it clearly.
Mukai was staring at Chihiro wordlessly. He was at a loss on how to reply.
“I’m sorry.” Chihiro apologized. “I suppose doing something like this is an inconvenience, but thank you for listening.”
“Wait.” As he was about to leave, Mukai grabbed his shoulder. “Minami-san!”
Being stopped so intensely, Chihiro was shocked and looked over his shoulder. Mukai walked around to face him properly.
“━━I’m just confirming but, you’re straight, aren’t you?”
He was asking him so earnestly, and Chihiro stared back at Mukai.
“You’ve never dated a man before, have you?”
“Just because I’m straight and never dated a man, I can’t like you?”
Mukai’s eyes went wide.
“I’m sorry to Isaki-san, and I really had no intention to say anything because it’s troublesome. But”
“Isaki-san is━━”
“A long-term relationship, right?”
“We’ve just been stuck together since our school days. But it’s not like that with Isaki…” Mukai still couldn’t believe it, and he paused for a moment while looking at Chihiro.
“When I was first asked about this job from Hata-san, even though I could have refused, I wanted to see you one more time no matter what, and I couldn’t hold those emotions back. So, I asked Isaki to keep me in check. I thought that if I pretended to have a boyfriend, you would feel relieved, and I could also save myself.”
“━━Eh?”
“Isaki is just a friend and right now, my work partner. Just that.” His voice became restless and his gaze was anxious, unable to calm down.
This was the first time he ever saw Mukai look this troubled. Chihiro felt just as frantic.
“Li, lies…”
“No.”
“You’re lying, right?”
“Like I said, it’s a lie. No, it’s not a lie.”
Eh? Which is it?
Chihiro’s mind was going around and around in confusion. Mukai grabbed both of his shoulders.
“Wait a moment.”
Mukai took a deep breath. He bent forward a little and looked straight into Chihiro’s eyes.
“The lie is that Isaki and I are dating. What isn’t a lie is that I haven’t been able to forget about you.”
Chihiro was so surprised, his brain stopped working.
“I wonder why. After I quit the company, I found myself thinking of you even more than when we were working together, and no matter what, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. That’s why I wanted to see you once more. After we met again, I still couldn’t stop thinking about you, …I was tormented.”
Flabbergasted, Chihiro could do nothing but stare at Mukai’s face.
“I also thought I was probably inconveniencing you. But I couldn’t give up, so by any means possible…even as a friend, I wanted to see you again. I was even lectured by Isaki.”
“━━lies…” Like an idiot, that was the only thing he could say.
“It’s not a lie.”
“It’s…not a lie….”
Chihiro stared intently at Mukai, wondering if this was really true. Mukai, who was also somewhat dazed, stared at Chihiro. Bit by bit, Chihiro was overwhelmed with emotions and felt choked up.
“I’m happy.” He couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Mukai’s eyes widened, and then he laughed as if all the strength in his body left him.
“I am, too.”
As the two of them were staring at each other in a daze, Chihiro’s phone started ringing in his pocket. He was startled.
“It’s Hata-san.” Finally coming to his senses, Chihiro answered the phone, and the two of them started walking back towards the venue.
His footsteps felt like he was floating, and nothing felt real. But it was real.
“Can we meet today?”
Mukai next to him asked, and Chihiro nodded with all his might.