Chapter 1 – My Chance

Chapter 1 – My Chance

*Thud*

Pain...

I felt... pain...

Slowly, my eyelids opened, and I was greeted by something I thought I would never see again.

Something lined with cobblestones and caked in a layer of mud. The floor. It was the floor.

My arms started to try and lift me up off of the ground. It felt strange to move my body again, but despite that, what my mind was focused on was the sharp pain in my palm where it was being poked by a stone.

Just how long has it been since I could feel something?

While it should’ve hurt, such a mild inconvenience was surprisingly reassuring. It meant that this might be more than just a dream.

After putting in a surprising amount of effort, I finally managed to prop myself up against a wall. Almost immediately after I relaxed my arms, my mind started trying to understand what was going on.

Where am I?

My eyes looked around the area, trying to pick out anything remotely familiar. But with no luck. There were two walls made from large stone bricks, the one that I was leaning against and one only about two steps in front. To my right, there was a dead end, and to my left was an opening that let a small amount of sunlight in. It was an alley, a dark, damp alley.

Since there was nothing that I recognised, I just moved on to the next question on my mind, hoping that would be more helpful.

Who am I?

I pulled myself over to a nearby puddle, slowly starting to get the hang of moving my limbs again.

What stared back at me through the muddy water was a young girl with pale grey eyes. She was probably no older than seven years old. She had a delicate face framed by pure white hair. However, by far, the most striking feature had to be the two large fox ears adorning the top of her head, although there definitely was some competition coming from the fluffy tail waving just behind her head.

What am I?

After seeing my reflection, I tried to think back to what I looked like before, but there was nothing. I couldn’t remember what I looked like before now. In a panic, I tried to think back and recall anything about myself.

What was I doing before now?

Where did I live?

What was my name?

But again, there was just nothing. I can’t remember...

It’s not that I don’t remember anything, but there is nothing specific. Whenever I tried to remember who I was, all I recalled was white noise, as if the information had been scrubbed from my mind.

Then what am I supposed to do now?

...

“W-we need to move on soon, o-or you will be late for your visit to the temple”, an unknown voice sheepishly squeaked out.

“Tsk, fine. But first, I need to procure a new cane. It would not be appropriate to bring that, thing’s, blood into the temple.”

“Y-yes, my Lord”

He started to turn away from me, but just before he started to walk away with his attendant, he made sure to throw the stained handkerchief at me.

“I also need to buy a new handkerchief!” He barked, “I can’t use this one anymore.”

“Y-yes, my Lord, right away.”

With that final remark, he finally left me alone, crumpled on the floor.

Tears were streaming uncontrollably from my eyelids, mixing with the blood strewn haphazardly across the floor.

I just lay there... Crying...

My mind swirled with thoughts that questioned and condemned my prior confidence.

Am I not allowed to just live my life?

Why did I even try?

...

What else am I supposed to do?

...

The sun had started to set, and I was still just lying on the floor. My wounds had stopped bleeding at some point, but I didn’t have the strength or the resolve to get back up on my feet.

Nobody came to help; everyone just ignored me. I was, alone.

What can I even do?

Survive?

Can I even do that?

Summoning whatever strength I had left, I slowly and painfully dragged my body over the cobblestones back into the alley. Out of view, where nobody would find me. I made my way all the way to the dead end at the far end of the alley and curled up in the darkest corner.

Maybe if I make it another day, things will change.

As my eyelids started to feel heavy, my tail waved in front of my face, so I grabbed it in a tight hug.

At least I have this much...

With that last thought, I finally closed my eyes, hoping deep down that all of this was just a passing nightmare and nothing more.