CH 82

“Did you push her?”

Gareth thought back to the words that had unconsciously slipped out of his mouth. His past and present had become jumbled together back then at the sight of Lydia’s baby who resembled Adelia.

‘Still, I shouldn’t have said such a thing…’ Gareth rubbed his fatigued eyes with his hand. He couldn’t forget how Elena had looked at him with trembling eyes full of tears.

‘No, she’ll understand me,’ Gareth concluded, since Elena had always accepted and forgave his mistakes. She did so no matter what he did or said. Gareth decided to let go of his guilt, thinking that Elena was going to do the same as she always did and forgive him once again. Nevertheless, regret continued to weigh heavily on his chest and made his heart ache.

When Gareth returned to the castle and entered the hall alone, Madel and the maids started serving breakfast as if they had been waiting for him. Gareth sat at the head of the table and searched for Elena among the maids busily serving the hot food. However, Elena was nowhere to be found. Gareth decided that she had taken his words to heart and was deliberately avoiding him.

At that moment, Madel emerged from the kitchen with a tray of food.

Gareth spoke quietly and stopped Madel. “Lydia’s gone, Madel.”

“I’m sorry, my lord?” Madel asked back.

“It’s as I said.”

After hearing Gareth’s stern voice, Madel knew that she couldn’t ask her lord why he had sent a woman who just had a miscarriage away so quickly. She sighed and returned to the kitchen, placing the tray down on the kitchen bench before looking around.

‘Is it just Lady Elena now? Does Lord Gareth intend to keep her in charge of this castle…?’ Madel wondered. “Well, if it’s her…” Madel looked around the kitchen again. She felt strange not seeing the person who would always be standing in the corner of the kitchen. Suddenly, the memory of Elena stepping in front of her to protect her from Lydia flashed through Madel’s mind.

‘I didn’t even thank Lady Elena for that… She would always say thank you whenever someone helped her…’

“Thank you for your help,” Elena would say.

“Well, I’ll just have to be nice to her from now on. She probably doesn’t take little things like that to heart. Anyways, I wonder if she’s okay… she must be really tired,” Madel muttered to herself, then suddenly glanced at her hands, recalling the tiny baby that wasn’t even the size of her hand. She felt uncomfortable just thinking about it, but strangely, Elena’s words kept repeating in her head.

“It’s too small,” the woman had said.

‘Why did Lady Elena say such a thing… The poor child was already dead. She could have just let it rest in peace. Agh, I don’t get it.’

Throughout breakfast, and even when the tables were being cleared, Elena continued to remain out of sight. Thinking that she was avoiding him on purpose, Gareth began to feel restless. However, he knew that his words must have hurt her a lot, and decided to leave her alone for a little longer so as not to upset her any further.

“Giggs, to the study,” Gareth ordered as he rose from his seat and headed to his study. ‘The bloodshed will begin in the spring, so I need to make proper preparations. I don’t have much time.’

* * *

“Giggs, what we’re going to be participating in will be the most brutal battle we’ve ever faced.”

“What do you mean?”

“The king is going to make a move, as well as Logan and Lydia.”

Giggs’ eyes widened in astonishment. ‘Doesn’t that mean a war?’ he wondered, then asked, “T-then what should we do?”

“We don’t take either side.”

Finding it difficult to understand Gareth, Giggs began to speculate. ‘Does that mean we’re not fighting? Is that why we were working so hard to build walls and dig the moat for the estate?’

However, Gareth blurted out something different from Giggs’ thoughts, “Even so, we’ll still be participating in the battle.”

“Does that mean we’ll be on our own side?”

Gareth crossed his arms and replied calmly, “We don’t know that as of now, but we’ll wait, since I’m sure that we’ll be participating in the war. For now, we’ll continue doing what we’ve been doing. We’ll accelerate the completion of the walls, make weapons, and train for actual battle.”

“Yes, sir,” Giggs affirmed without another question. However, he was confused as to why his impatient boss was waiting to participate in such a massive war. It wasn’t like the bloodthirsty madman he knew to do such a thing.