CH 88

Gareth’s mouth opened in surprise once he turned around and met her gaze. He was glad to see her as it felt like it had been a long time since she looked at him like this. He approached her in one step and leaned over to her and asked, “How are you feeling, Elena?”

Elena only stared blankly at him in response and remained silent.

“Elena?”

Gareth inadvertently became nervous from the strange feeling that squeezed his chest. His expression soon hardened and his lips formed a thin line. Something was off, and it was scaring him. At that moment, Elena slowly turned her head away, then turned her whole body away as well.

Gareth’s heart began to pound uncontrollably. The strange feeling had now turned into anxiety that was eating away at him. He raised his stiffened hand and touched Elena’s shoulder. He could feel that she was warm, but… she was different. Gareth managed to get himself up and approached the table to grab a bowl of soup.

“Let’s get you to eat something,” he said as he approached the bed. He tried to get Elena to sit up, but she didn’t budge. It seemed that she was using all her strength to refuse his hands. Her adamant behavior confirmed that she was deliberately ignoring him. Gareth stiffened like a stone. His heart ached as a bitter taste pervaded his mouth. Unable to do anything else, Gareth ended up sitting next to Elena with the bowl of soup in his hand. Not knowing what else to say, he spoke the only thing that came to his mind at that moment.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Elena.”

These were the only words that kept coming to his mind.

“Elena, I’m sorry.”

Even so, Elena remained reserved. Gareth kept repeating his apology, but she didn’t listen. It seemed that she had decided to disconnect herself from others. Gareth placed the bowl down on the floor and tightly hugged the woman who had turned away from him.

“I will never hurt you again. Never… never again,” he whispered, clinging to her like she had done to him in the past.

Elena continued to remain silent. Her shoulders stiffened as if his embrace made her uncomfortable. However, Gareth continued to hold her in his arms without saying anything else.

* * *

After refusing food for two days, Elena began to eat on her own. She, however, still remained quiet. After eating a tiny amount and quenching her thirst, she simply went back to sleep. Gareth was at a loss on what to do. He was glad that Elena hadn’t gotten frostbite from being buried in the snow for a prolonged amount of time, but it felt as if she was still in the snow. She was next to him, but it felt as if she wasn’t. For the first time, Gareth had no choice but to feel what it was like to be hopeless. He didn’t even know how to properly express his thoughts since he had never been a talkative person. The invisible wall between him and Elena left him feeling stuck.

For the next few days, Elena didn’t budge from her spot, as if she was attached to the bed. Vitality slowly drained from her face, and her black hair, which had always been rich and glossy, became dry and frizzy. Gareth suffered from insomnia despite keeping Elena in his arms every night. After many days, he realized that he couldn’t constantly accompany her day and night. Time had passed and a second message from Hansen had reached him, making him busy. Gareth made Madel stay by Elena during the day as he was afraid that she might possibly disappear again. He would return at night and ask how Elena had been and if she had said anything, to which Madel would simply shake her head with an exhausted expression.

At times, Gareth would stay up multiple nights with Elena in his arms, unable to fall asleep because he was afraid that she would leave him if he did. When he had to sleep, he tied his ankle to Elena’s with a tough leather strap to prevent her from escaping. He persistently held her back so that she wouldn’t leave him. Time passed and the bitter weather slowly but surely went away, signaling the arrival of the new year.