Chapter 69 – Wicked and Violent Keima-san

Chapter 69 – Wicked and Violent Keima-san

We proceeded after defeating the scorpion.

A menacing enemy creeps up to us, what seems to be a dancing cactus.

It drills a hole to hide from the heat, and looks like a digging piglet.

While mimicking a cactus by sticking onto it, it shoots needles out when approaching close, similar to a hedgehog, but firing cactus needles.

Terere, Tetete~

Terere, Tetete~

Terere, Tetete~

Because I ate it, I leveled up.

Level　 　　1721→1751(↑30)

HP 　 　　　22962/22962（↑270）

MP 　 　　　22440/22440（↑240）

Strength 　　　　 23300（↑245）

Vitality 　　　　 25090（↑200）

Agility 　　　　 23130（↑254）

Magic Powers 　 　　　21920（↑220）

Learned Skills

Dig　　ＬＶ2　　23/300

Firing Needles　　ＬＶ2　　10/30

Pretending to be a CactusＬＶ1　2/50

Moving Strangely ＬＶ1　　3/150

I’ve obtained some skills, but most of them are useless.

Dig can be used, but not firing needles.

I’ve learned a similar skill prior to this, where you use your hairs to fire—–basically becoming close to being bald. Seriously, what a dangerous skill this is.

As for pretending to be a cactus and moving strangely, you can tell just based on the names alone.

For example, if I use the skill pretending to be a cactus, this is what happens.

└(?_?)┘

That’s all folks.

You expected something?

Toppled with the strange moving ability, I would move in a ghost-like fashion whilst keeping the└(?_?)┘state.

Those who have no idea what’s going on would worriedly ask: “You cursed or something…….?”

What’s more, for the case of moving strangely, there’s a system in which it『activates automatically if a sound is heard』.

Basically saying, if it’s turned on, there’s a noise? Better start moving creepily.

I’m being cursed aren’t I.

Other than the monster which I ate, there were woodpeckers who pierced through the cacti to feast on some cactus water.

They were incredibly cute.

Inside the cactus, they looked at me with a small and quiet expression.

Noticing us, the woodpecker tilted its neck and squinted its eyes at us.

Especially towards Laura, it was interested in her.

「Fueeen, shoo cute～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～」

She said lovingly, as I gave her some nuts to feed the bird.

〈Pichuu?〉

The bird stretched its neck, and flew close to Laura’s hands before eating the nuts.

That’s a picture taken in my mind.

Soon I thought of something.

「I wonder if I turn it into Yakitori, will it be delish……?」

〈Piiii?!〉

「You can’t! You absolutely caaaaaaaaaaaan’t ! ! ! No matter what you say……I will not allow it ! ! !」

Since she strongly refused, I guess I’ll give up on eating it.

Though judging by its size, I don’t think there’s much meat to begin with.

We once again moved on.

We saw an intriguing object.

It’s the dead body of a huge scorpion.

It’s even larger than the one I defeated just awhile ago.

Such a corpse was stuck in a cactus.

「The hell is that.」

「I-Is it for the Garugarosu’s offering…..」

「Do you know something about it, Femille?」

「It is said that the act of piercing a large monster into a cactus or a pointy rock is a sign of preserving the caught prey, or as a means to mark your location……」

「Either way, it means a Garugarosu is living nearby」

With a grim look on their faces, Lolona and Femille muttered.

「However, if such a large scorpion is captured……」

「It can only mean that the enemy is strong……」

「Which means, it’s my turn to shine!!」

Laura shouted.

「Keima! ! Can’t we use that『Secret Weapon』that you’ve been hiding with a cloth?! 」

「You’re right.」

I pulled away the cloth.

Finally, the reveal――

A cage.

A cage to capture large animals like Lions and what not.

I brought the cage down from the boat.

「This is the……『secret weapon?』」

「I took it from Liesel in his palace, and it seems to be made out of half alloy steel and mithril.

It’s no pure mithril, but I heard that it’s certified tough.」

「I can tell that it’s sturdy but……」

「But?」

「What can I do with this cage?

Also, why do I feel that the entrance to this cage is smaller than the scorpion?

Isn’t the cage supposed to keep the Garugarosu locked in?」

「I understand that it might seem strange right now……」

「Fue?」

I said,

「Aah- There’s a flying loin steak on the sky.」

「Eh! Where is it! ! ! Sounds amazing ? ! ? ! ? !」

As if there’s anything like that, but Laura was seriously looking up at the sky, trying to find the mysterious flying loin steak.

I grabbed Laura’s neck which is full of openings――

And threw her into the cage.

「Fueeeee? !」

Slammed the door and locked it with a key.

「Fuuuuueeeeeeeee? ! ? ! ? ! ?」

Laura held the bars, and shook them violently.

「What’s the meaning of this Keima!?

Why did you lock me up ? ! ? ! ? ! ?」

I said refreshingly.

「Since you wanted to be useful, I was thinking, why not use you as a decoy.」

「Why are you saying such a crazy thing with such a clear face like the blue sky ? ! ? ! ? ! ?」

「Well, the only activity I can see you doing is sleeping all day, so I figured……」

「I don’t waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnt this! ! !」

Laura desperately screamed whilst knocking on the bars.

「Lolona.」

「Uu-umu.」

Signalling Lolona, she brought out the various balls from her backpack.

「Take 10 flash balls and 10 sticky balls, and throw them into the cage. We can use those to capture the enemy when the time comes.」

「Wait wait wait wait! ! ! Are you actually being serious? ! Hey Keima, answer me ! ? ! ? ! ?」

「Do you think I’ll commit such a terrible thing even if it’s a joke? How bad do you think I am?」

「You’re extremely bad for doing it now though ? ! ? ! ? ! ?」

「Don’t mind, Laura.」

I held both her hands, and stared straight into her beautiful eyes, uttering these words to her.

「I will definitely……protect you.」

「Fuee~~……」

Her cheeks were blushing.

A fluffy sound came out from her mouth as I said that.

But――

「Wait, what are you doing trying to make me fall for you!

Keima the offender! Although it’s Keima, you must be removed for using crude and violence ! ! !」

「ＨＡＨＡＨＡ」

I laughed menacingly.

「But well, I was seriously joking, and won’t actually do it.

I know that I might be a little bit devilish right now.」

「You say that’s『just a little bit』, which dictionary are you using! ! !」

「After coming to this world, frequent revision is necessary in my dictionary……」

「Fueeeen ! ! !」

「Anyways. If you really don’t want to, I won’t force you――But.」

「But……?」

「If you decide to become the perfect decoy for me……I will give you the most delicious portion of the pufferfish.」

「Fuee……? !」

「The Mochi Moles that we ate at the stalls, they were good right……?

The pufferfish will be 10, no 100 times more delicious than that, you know……?」

「Fuee–ee– FUeeEeee……!」

Her eyes brighten up in an instant.

Her mouth is salivating.

「And who knows, if you fulfill such a dangerous role safely……you might even earn the respect from me.」

「You didn’t have any respect from the beginning ? ! ? ! ? !」

「Well, obviously……」

With an amazed look, I stared at Laura who was seriously pondering about it.

「I- I will do it !

T-T-T-This time will be a special case, I’ll show you who’s the best decoy in the world ! !」

「That’s my Laura.」

「Y-Y-Y-Y-You’ll promsie to give me the most delicious part of the pufferfish, right? !

If not, if not! I will break up with you! !

I will be determined to eradicate the wicked and evil Keima with my hands?! 」

「I got it okay.」

I patted her head after agreeing.