CH 71

‘Why am I acting like this? Didn’t I already give up on sharing any kind of emotion with him a long, long time ago?’ Though this was an important occasion, the gap between the two was so large that simply solving a single problem together wouldn’t be enough to close that gap. Amber knew that better than anyone else.

“I see.” Amber’s voice cooled after Kalix’s words. “Then I shall take my leave now. I have things to do.” She turned away from him and spoke in a one-sided conversation. At Kalix’s lack of response, she let out a sigh as she stood from her seat. “From now on, I will consider your silence as a positive approval, Your Excellency.”

Kalix, who was staring at the wall away from Amber, didn’t see Amber opening the door and leaving the room. It was by listening to his wife’s footsteps that were as light as a butterfly’s flutter and the door closing that he knew she left.

Once the doors were closed and he was alone, Kalix felt the heavy pressure on his shoulders become even heavier and colder. It was like Amber had taken all the warmth with her when she left the room.

No, perhaps Amber herself was actually warmth herself. And he himself an idiot unable to get a hold of that warmth.

“I’m happy about it too.” Kalix mumbled the words he had to say, even though Amber was no longer in the room. “I’m happy about it too, Madam. I… I couldn’t be happier that the food crisis will be solved.”

The words he wanted to say flowed out smoothly as soon as Amber left the room. Kalix felt shame flood his body at himself.

Why was it so difficult for him to say that one line, that he was happy?

Kalix really wanted to say it too.

When Amber smiled as she looked at him, he wanted to look back at her smile and respond with a smile as well. A man that would do his absolute best to ensure that Amber would never stop smiling.

But it was too difficult for Kalix. It was harder than battling a monster three times the size of a human, or spending days in solitude after getting injured in a trap, or even the burden of being the sole heir to a ruined territory.

Kalix knew himself that he was acting completely strange. ‘But…’ Kalix closed his eyes and leaned back into the chair. ‘Do I have the right to share my happiness with her, to become closer to her, and act like we are truly husband and wife?’

No, he didn’t have that right.

‘She’s from a completely different world than mine. I’m just…’

The dark shadows of his past quietly and heavily laid itself onto Kalix’s shoulders.

* * *

As she left the sitting room, Amber found Jenia who had been waiting for her in front of the door.

“I wish to go to the study now.”

“Yes, Mistress.” Jenia responded to Amber’s request with glee. “Shall I prepare some light snacks?”

“No need for snacks, just prepare warm tea for me. I need to concentrate for a while.” Amber planned to look into the ledgers of the castle.

Though she had a rough idea of where to spend her dowry, to confirm the details, she would need to carefully go through the financials. Amber had already requested Heinreich to bring all the related records to her room the day before.

“Then I shall prepare just the tea.” Happy that she was able to do something for Amber, Jenia smiled. And just as the two arrived at the study…

“Miss Amber!” A clear and high pitched voice came from behind them.

When they turned, Grace stood with a disapproving expression.