Chapter 158 First quarrel of the lovers

“With that out of the way, I think we are good for a quick trip back home,” Mathew announced as soon as he duped the role of the local leader on Robert.

“And leave everyone here to their own devices?” Daniel protested. He then crossed his arms on his chest and took a stance. “I’m staying. We can have Norbert shift between you and me to keep us in touch.”

‘What a clever way of talking,’ Mathew smiled, amused by the effectiveness of the officer’s words. ‘He didn’t simply refuse my plan, but came up with one of his own and shown its potential benefits!’

Neither of the men had to properly explain their actions.

By deciding to go back to the school compound with only about an hour of daylight left, Mathew also told Daniel that he cared very little about the local survivors. He was willing to bet all their lives on improving the strength of his group first and foremost.

On the other hand, by opposing this plan and deciding to stay back, Daniel went against this bet, refusing to treat the lives of the local survivors lightly.

Neither of them had to spell those facts out for the other to understand.

‘That’s a police negotiator for you,’ Mathew thought before smiling lightly and nodding his head. “So be it,” he said before turning around on his heel. Yet, even after making his way toward the doors, he turned his head around and took a look at Daniel’s face.

“Are you sure you don’t want a saber of two?” Mathew asked. ‘I can understand if he himself won’t use it, but wouldn’t it be better for Norbert to carry one? Or even maybe one of the survivors that’s athletic enough to fight?’

“I told you, I’m fine,” Daniel said as he shook his head. “And in a situation where I would really need them, they won’t make that much of a difference anyway,” he explained his thoughts with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Fine,” Mathew nodded his head again before beckoning at the girls to follow him outside. “I wish you good luck. May we come back in time,” the young man stated before raising his hand and then turning around and leaving the hall.

“Are you really sure they will be okay?” Nadia asked in a hushed voice as soon as it had no chance of reaching the unnecessary ears.

“I do not,” Mathew replied in a cold voice. He then shook his head. “I’m betting that they will, but there is a chance they will all die,” he stated before shrugging his arms.

“And you are not troubled by it?” Nadia asked, a long wrinkle appearing on her forehead.

“It’s not like I’m not,” Mathew pursed his lips together, and a look of slight displeasure appeared on his face. “Dear, we can’t save everyone,” Mathew stated as she turned around and stopped in the middle of the stairs, stopping the two other girls from descending as well. “And if we die here, we are sentencing to death all those who we could save in the future.”

“So it’s yet another gamble,” Nadia pointed out while raising one of her eyebrows and crossing her arms on her chest. “You are gambling with human life,” she accused, her eyes turning cold.

“I really don’t think this is the right place to discuss it,” Mathew’s face darkened. ‘Is this our first quarrel?’ he thought, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

Despite the outward calmness that he used as a mask for many years, Mathew was aware of just how emotional of a person he was. He simply learned how to hide it, how to rein his emotions and keep them in check.

He never really dealt with the problem itself. And so, aware of this mine waiting to explode, Mathew opted to take a moment to rebuild the walls around his heart.

“This might not be the right place for a discussion, fine,” Nadia agreed with Mathew, only to raise her chin and look him directly in the eyes. “But I don’t think it’s fine to leave them be either.”

Mathew stared down right into the girl’s eyes for a while. He took three deep breaths, each of them aimed at calming down the sea of his emotions.

“Nadia,” Mathew finally calmed himself down enough to pick up the discussion. “It’s not about betting, gambling, or playing the risk,” he started. “It’s all about math. What are the chances that one of us would die in the coming battle? How quickly can we go to the compound and back? What’s the value lost if someone from our group were to die as opposed to some random survivors dying?”

Mathew stopped his words from flowing out, taking his time to regain control over his emotions once again.

“It’s not like I’m happy to ignore the risk of the zombies attacking before we come back. It’s not like I don’t care about the lives of those people,” Mathew said, pointing his hand up the stairs to where the hall was. “I simply care about your wellbeing more than I do about any of them. And with how our return can make a huge difference, I won’t risk your life in favor of saving theirs.”

‘Wanting to save everyone…’ Mathew shook his head as he bit down on his lips to the point his teeth cut through the skin of his mouth. ‘Isn’t that just pride speaking?’

“I…” Nadia obediently listened up to Mathew’s words. Yet, as she tried to reply, her voice broke down as hesitation took over.

“Hmm?” Mathew attempted to encourage the girl to share her thoughts, only for Nadia to raise her hand in a simple “Stop” gesture.

“I’m thinking, give me a moment please,” she pleaded before lowering her eyes and then turning silent.

“You can think as we go,” Mathew forced himself to keep his cool. “Whatever you figure out, it won’t hurt for us to be on our way while you think,” he added before turning around on his heel and continuing his descent down the stairs.

“I would drop this topic, sister,” Daria muttered as she passed by Nadia while following in Mathew’s steps. “This is no longer the world where our old morals work. And there is a reason why sacrificing one’s life and health for others is considered the heaviest virtue in most of the religions and cultures.”

Daria didn’t bother to elaborate on her unexpected, philosophical remark. As soon as she finished her short speech, she left astounded Nadia behind as she moved down the stairs.

Leila followed right after her companion. Expecting the unexpected, Nadia raised her eyes on Leila, only for the latter to raise her hands up in a gesture of surrender.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have anything smart to say,” she excused herself with a look of discomfort on her face.

“Sometimes advice doesn’t need to sound smart,” Nadia heaved a deep sigh as she hid her face in her palm.

“How about this, then,” Leila said with a small smile quivering on her lips. “You fail to see just how much Mathew worries about you because you are used to it. On the contrary, the two of us have to constantly fight for his attention and recognition,” Leila suddenly dropped a bomb that managed to catch Nadia off-guard.

“So I hope you will take this advice from someone who struggles to get a fraction of the favor that you have with him,” Leila didn’t stop her words as she smiled gently and placed her hand on Nadia’s shoulder. “Love isn’t all about sex. You can win a man’s lower head by sucking on it, but you won’t win a man’s brain by sucking on his brain,” Leila stated while a mischievous grin appeared on her lips.

“So I should just ignore my morals and let him do as he wants?!” Nadia protested before even realizing that both Mathew and Daria already moved too far down the stairs for her to see or hear them anymore.

“I’m not telling you to do this or do that,” Leila negated Nadia’s outburst while shaking her head with disapproval. “I’m just clarifying the situation. And you need to understand that you can fight with us only because of how desperate our situation is,” she pointed out.

“And what do you mean by that?” Nadia replied, her emotions slowly starting to get better of her. “Am I not worthy to fight by your side?!” she attempted to challenge her cowife.

“Not at all,” Leila shook her head again, her face taking on a look of an adult giving up on the idea of explaining something to a kid too dumb for their own good. “I’m just saying that if he could, Mathew would keep you as far away from the conflict. For him, you are the princess on a white pony,” Leila gave out her opinion before turning around herself and moving down the stairs.

Only when she reached the breaking point that would make her turn around to move even further down did she cast one last look at Nadia’s face.

“The two of us are different than you. I’m not saying that to antagonize you, but to make you realize why Mathew makes seemingly dumb or reckless decisions,” Leila explained as the look on her face mellowed down.

“And we could all see it when Mathew desperately rushed to save Daria, yeah,” Nadia nodded her head only to roll her eyes in a showcase of how much sarcasm she infused in her words.

“Losing one of us would mean losing a valuable fighter with great potential to grow and a partner so striven for Mathew’s attention they became the most convenient girls left in the world,” Leila countered without even a second of hesitation. She then raised her head and looked Nadia directly in the eyes.

Even though Leila stood several steps the stairs below the first wife, she somehow appeared to tower over Nadia.

“I won’t give you an answer to this one as it would make my question meaningless,” Leila announced only for a small, sad smile to appear on her lips. “Ask yourself what would Mathew do if you were to die instead.”