Chapter 211

Chapter 211<~> Chapter 211

I spent the rest of the night reading the cartography manual Korrim had lent me in relaxed clothes while my friends hung out. It wasn't all that difficult, I just needed to remember a handful of symbols and notes that I copied into another of my empty journals. I had considered trying to get or buy a full copy of the book but after reading through a lot of it, that won't be necessary. Most of this was pretty straightforward. I even had some ideas to streamline the process for myself using light and ritual magic. I idly wondered if it would be something that would earn me praise or piss off other cartographers. Eh, if they didn't like it I just wouldn't share the spells or rituals I cooked up.



"Lilith... can we talk for a bit?" Torien asked.



I smiled and closed the book I was reading. "Sure. Down here or upstairs?"



"Upstairs please," Torien replied quietly.



I stood up and followed her up the stairs. Silva watched the two of us with a slight frown on her face before going back to the solitary card game she often played. The two of us entered the room and I followed her lead by sitting on the bed across from her.



"What's up Torien? Should I pop up a [Zone of Silence]?" I lowered my voice. "If it's about Silva, it'd probably be for the best."



Torien blushed and nodded so I did as I promised and shut out all of the nearby sound using the familiar illusion magic spell.



She took a breath and looked up at me awkwardly. "Lilith... do you think I should stay with Silva now?"



I frowned. "That really depends on you... Have you figured out what's upsetting you?"



Her ears went back and she looked out the window for a few heartbeats. "I... I had been talking with her about becoming a succubus. Like a lot... Morrigan has wanted to do it for a while but I've been scared and I didn't want my sister to do it without me... It... feels like she wouldn't be my sister anymore if she changed." I was about to interrupt but she put her hand up. "I know that being her sister is more than that... logically, but I have always taken pride in the fact that we looked alike too."



Torien sighed. "But... the whole time we've been talking about this, not once did she tell me that she planned on taking you up on the offer. She never told me more than what she told you, that she 'wasn't ready' for it yet. But all of that was only so she could keep lying to us. I feel like an idiot hemming and hawing about what I should do while she just pretended not to want the transformation herself. She... held me and told me it was a hard decision and that I shouldn't rush anything but that wasn't true for her was it? She was lying to me too, playing with my feelings!"



Torien had a frustrated look on her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. "And then I found out she knew my aunt! After seeing how amazing she is, I just feel like a replacement for her... She did a shadowleap! Bloodline magic from our ancestors and she did it while barely breaking a sweat!" Torien wrapped her arms around herself. "Now I just feel like a cheap substitution for her."



I got up and sat on the bed next to Torien and pulled her into a hug. "No one thinks you're a cheap replacement for your aunt. I overheard them talking and Silva was pretty adamant that she wasn't with you because you reminded her of Lorriene. Your aunt was pretty skeptical of your relationship too when she first found out about it, she even thought that Silva may have been trying to get back at her for something. Silva told her directly that she didn't know you were related when she met us and only tried to get with you because you were attractive in your own right and she liked your personality. I'm inclined to believe her," I said.



Torien sniffled. "Are you sure she's not lying?"



I sighed. "Unfortunately... I'm not. I feel a little betrayed by Silva as well still. She was lying to all of us for a long time. I thought I was helping her or something but she was just using her slavery as a disguise. I also kind of feel like an idiot..."



Torien's arms wrapped around me and she buried her face into my side. "You're not an idiot..."



I held her against me, a little unaccustomed to the closeness from her. "Maybe... but I feel like one. I'm not nearly as confident as I always pretend to be. I'm... still scared I'll screw up like I did back in the midnight castle when I almost died to the vampire queen. When I told you that you were my partner and that I relied on you, I meant it. I feel like I can count on you to tell me when I'm being stupid and keep me on track. You're the only one who really questions me and makes me explain my thought process."



Torien pulled back from me and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Really? I... hadn't noticed that."



Torien blushed and looked away. "Maybe not... I... heard from the others how frisky you were with Bella after we left."



I coughed. "Regardless, whatever makes you feel best. I don't mind waiting for you to wake up and leave to take care of that stuff..."



"No, it's not that it's... Morrigan got a little jealous that she was left out because of me..." she admitted.



"Oh... Well... I'll have to make sure to make it up to her then."



Torien sniffed and wiped her eyes again before slipping off the bed. "Thanks, Lilith. This conversation... it really helped. I promise I'll try to remember you're my actual friend... not my mistress anymore. I just... thank you I guess."



I smiled. "You're welcome. I just want you to be happy."



She scratched the back of her head and looked away with the beginning of a grin on her face. "I know. I think I'm getting there. I think I'll need a bit more energy to talk with Silva but... I will."



I stood up and pulled her into another hug. "Good. I'm sure you'll work things out."



When I let go of her she took a few steps back and rubbed her bare neck. "I'll also give some more thought to becoming a succubus. Without the collars... I feel like it's less pressure. I don't need to consider that it may free the two of us as well... I can just decide if it's what I want to do for myself and my sister."



"There's no rush Torien," I told her. "And you don't have to take me up on the offer if you don't want to either. I won't judge."



The corner of her smile tugged up a little and she looked off to my left. "Yeah... well Morrigan will judge and I think I have less reason to be scared of it than before. Maybe it'll finally be time for it soon."



"Well no pressure from me. I mean it, I won't transform you until I think you're ready for it," I told her seriously.



"I know," she said with a smile. "It means a lot. Thank you for... not turning me the last time I asked."



I nodded. "You weren't in your right mind, you were still reacting to the collars. I didn't feel comfortable allowing you to make that kind of decision when you were like that."



"Yeah... I think I would have regretted it had we gone through with it then. It was reassuring when you refused me... but everything was still so confusing... it still is. A bit." She cleared her throat and turned around. "I'm going to have another talk with my sister... I'm not sure where I'll be sleeping tonight but I'll make sure to say goodnight regardless."



I followed her to the door and released the [Zone of Silence]. "Sure. I still need to work on that map before tomorrow."



"Ah, right. It looked like you were having fun working on it," she said as I followed her through the door.



"I do! It's a bit like drawing. It feels familiar..."