CH 31

A knot is a promise

At three in the morning in Mingshi, it was like a wild beast sleeping in the dark, breathing slowly, danger lurking within. 

The harsh winter sky was a repressing blue-black. The moment the door opened, the roaring northern wind rushed in with bits of snow. Gu Chenbai put on his overcoat, barely standing still as he held his cane. 

In the past, he wouldn’t go out in such weather, as he would always feel a dull pain in his injured joints on rainy and snowy days. 

But he must go out this time. Because Tu Yan had run out. 

It was indeed scary to reach out to touch the person on the pillow beside him but feeling an empty space instead. Gu Chenbai woke up in a flash at that moment, feeling like all the blood in his body had turned solid. He searched every room in the house and called his phone, but the ringing came from the bedside table. He then went to watch the surveillance, and finally confirmed that Tu Yan had run out. 

Tu Yan, alone while carrying a child, ran out of the house at three in the morning during a snowy day in early February in the north, ran out the door, without bringing his phone and couldn’t be contacted…Gu Chenbai’s temple faintly hurt, but he quickly calmed down, got dressed and went out. 

Gu Chenbai had no clue about Tu Yan’s inexplicable disappearance, and could only urgently follow along the footprints in the thin snow. The footprints were much lighter at the door of the villa and could only vaguely show its general direction. He looked towards the East; the red roof of a house suddenly reminded him of something. He looked down at the low-quality red string on his wrist, then quickly denied this impossible assumption. 

Probably not. 

Gu Chenbai stepped in the snow as he headed East. 

The single-family villas on both sides were hidden in the darkness, the lights were out. The branches of the evergreen trees by the road danced like ghosts. Gu Chenbai forcibly suppressed his anxious mood and quickened his pace. When he was about to reach the entrance of the community, he could see a familiar figure jogging in from the corner. That person was wearing a white down jacket with both hands in his pockets and a flashlight clamped in his arm. He was shivering in the cold, but his footsteps were brisk. 

Gu Chenbai’s drumming heart abruptly settled down. 

As though he had telepathy, Tu Yan looked up and saw Gu Chenbai standing tall in the snow.  

Tu Yan’s eyes and brows suddenly stretched out as he smiled incomparily brightly. With the corners of his mouth crooked up, he rushed to Gu Chenbai and embraced him fully, the flashlight falling to the ground.

Gu Chenbai staggered back two steps and then hugged him. Before he could scold him, Tu Yan took the lead first. 

“Gu Chenbai, I found it!”

Tu Yan took out the object in his pocket and held it in front of Gu Chenbai, like he had accomplished something amazing. Urgently seeking praise, he looked at Gu Chenbai and said excitedly, “I rushed out before the cleaners came and found it! It was by the roadside covered by the snow, fortunately a little bit of red showed.” 

It was really the red string, lying safely in the palm of Tu Yan’s hand. Tu Yan curled his fingers, afraid that it would be blown away by the wind again, his cautious appearance made Gu Chenbai’s heart turn soft, unable to speak out his mind full of blame. 

“It’s all your fault for making me wear so many clothes last night that I didn’t even notice the string fell off, fortunately I reacted before I went to sleep.” Tu Yan said with a smile.

“When did you go out?”

“Around one o’clock.” 

“Why didn’t you call me? You didn’t bring your phone either, do you know how worried I was?”

Tu Yan knew he was in the wrong, he lowered his head and didn’t speak, then he hugged him tight and said preemptively, “I know I’m wrong, don’t scold me.”

Gu Chenbai said angrily, “I’m worried about you, how is a broken string worth looking for in the middle of the night?”

Tu Yan’s expression changed, “Of course it’s worth it, this is a safety string, it has your safety tied to it.”

Gu Chenbai became silent. His anger died out at the moment he saw the tears in Tu Yan’s eyes, then he held Tu yans cold hands, “Little fool, why do you still take it seriously?” 

Feeling wronged, Tu Yan said in a fit of pique, “I just take it seriously.”

The joy of losing something and finding it again turned into ice under Gu Chenbai’s cold expression. Tu Yan’s heart turned cool, the tears about to fall, but he held back, pinching his ring finger with his thumb and fingertip, “I know this string only costs a few cents, it was never entrusted by a divinity and has no value, and it’s impossible that it will protect your safety, but I’m just afraid.” 

Gu Chenbai held him in his arms, “What are you afraid of?”

The wind roared, easily engulfing Tu Yan’s joy and leaving behind the mouth that didn’t match his heart which could hurt others as before. A thousand mean words stuck in his throat, almost spilling out from habit. But he had long wanted to change. He didn’t want to continue being mean, he didn’t want to hurt Gu Chenbai, he wanted to become a person worthy of Gu Chenbai’s love. 

In fact, at this time, if he fiercely said ‘none of your business’, Gu Chenbai wouldn’t be angry. He would still bend down to kiss him and tell him not to be so careless in the future. 

But Tu Yan didn’t want to be like that again this time. 

The dark and empty surroundings gave him the courage; the courage to speak the truth. 

“I’m afraid something bad will happen, afraid you’ll get hurt, no matter if it’s a bump or a bruise. I know my idea is silly, but I really am afraid, especially after having the baby,” Tu Yan held Gu Chenbai’s hand and stuck it to his face, he said softly, “Gu Chenbai, you have to stay by my side and take care of me for the rest of our lives.” 

It was the first time Tu Yan said the words ‘for the rest of our lives’.

Gu Chenbai froze and didn’t respond to Tu Yan’s words for a moment. 

Tu Yan said he wanted to be by his side for a lifetime. Gu Chenbai thought: This little bunny has finally held him firmly in his palm. 

Tu Yan felt a flush of heat in his face after saying that. He stretched out his hand bashfully and held it in front of Gu Chenbai, “Put it on for me.”

The sky was dim, but Tu Yan’s eyes were very bright, the love he held in them was just as much as Gu Chenbai’s. 

Gu Chenbai took the red string and put it on for Tu Yan. The red string wrapped around Tu Yan’s snow-white wrist; a knot is a promise. 

He held Tu Yan’s hand and said gently, “Let’s go home.”

Tu Yan picked up the flashlight, turned on the switch and shone on the road ahead. On the snow-covered ground, there were only two lines of footprints, one deep, one shallow, crossed together like a secret appointment. 

Tu Yan suddenly felt that there was a taste of fate in the dark world. If Tu Feihong hadn’t gone bankrupt, if Gu Chenbai hadn’t seen his youth films, if Qi He hadn’t made a mistake in the wine and soda, if Tu Yan hadn’t run into Gu Chenbai’s rut period on the second day after their divorce…would he still be able to hold hands with Gu Chenbai and go home now?

The heavy snow covered everything in the past. There were only two lines of footprints, as though it meant to forget the past and start over.

He raised his head, smiled at Gu Chenbai and said, “Mm, let’s go home.”