Chapter 32 Making Amends (1)

“My situation. I don’t think it’s a good idea to let everyone know what I’m doing right now.” Eugene expressed her concern to Marianne.

“Yes, I agree.”

“Then I need someone to help me relearn everything I’ve forgotten. Marianne, you can help me, right?” she asked, concern clearly written in her eyes, but Marianne seemed hesitant as she began to shy away.

“My queen, I lack enough knowledge…” she started, but Eugene took her hands and grasped it on her own…

“I hope you don’t refuse. I need your help more than anyone else.” she begged, and Marianne’s tense expression eventually loosened up as she continued to observe Eugene in silence.

“If it’s within my power then I will gladly do my best.”

“Thank you.”

“No. I must be the one to say my thanks to the Queen. Thank you for giving me this opportunity.” Marianne stated, bowing slightly towards Eugene.

Eugene noticed that Marianne was referring to her and Jin Anika’s uncomfortable past, but pretended not to know. She just wanted to get along well with Marianne and squeeze out any help she could get.

“My Queen, I’m a woman who already left the castle. I need your permission to rebuild my position.” Marianne continued.

“I see. Then shall I speak to the king?” she asked her, and Marianne shook her head.

“I don’t want to be a burden to you, my queen.” she starts, “You must speak to the king, only by your behest, and no one else’s. Not even for others like me.” Eugene purses her lips together, as she thought for a moment.

“You’re right, on second thought, it would be better if you talk to the king instead.” she answered within a heartbeat. Marianne studied Eugene, trying to see whatever underlying motive she might have had, but only came to one conclusion.

“Are you uncomfortable with the king?”

“That’s not it.”

Eugene smiled awkwardly. She was still confused when she woke up in the morning.

The night they shared was not unpleasant by all means, but it wasn’t what she expected. Her cheeks grew flushed at the thought of last night. She didn’t know how to face the man again. Which was why she wanted to avoid him for the time being if possible.

“He’s a man of few words, that’s why. I think it would be better if you talk to him.” she excused, hoping that would be the end of that.

“He may be aloof and callous on the outside, but the king has a very warm heart. He is just bad at expressing his feelings.” Marianne explained.

“I can attest to that. The way he speaks is harsh and his temper…” Eugene recalled the day the king barged into her room, yelling at her. She let out an involuntary wince as she recalled the unpleasant experience.

“Yes, Your Highness. His temper, I dealt with it all his life.” Marianne said softly, the ghost of their past echoing in her eyes. She looked so sentimental, so nostalgic, that Eugene couldn’t help but let out a smile of her own. She was like a hedgehog’s mother, whose child is covered in spikes, who bares them to anyone that threatens him. But even so, only she could see beyond that tough exterior, inert goodness lies within the king’s heart.

“He confided in me.” Marianne added, looking at Eugene, “He told me you’ve lost your memories.”

“That’s…” she wanted to make an excuse, but instead she let out a sigh. “I understand if you’re suspicious and disbelieving in me,” she said, but Marianne’s gaze on her was unwavering.

“True, I know the queen before, and she had no qualms in lying,” Marianne said, “But right now, I don’t think you are lying.”

“Then I have a question.”

“I’ll tell you everything I know.”

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“Your Grace and me, how is our relationship perceived as husband and wife?” Eugene knew they weren’t real couples, but wondered how they appear to the public.

“In all honesty, my queen,” Marianne said, looking a little saddened, “It didn’t look good. Not at all. But once you’re both in formal events or  council meets, you both would act very differently.”

“Oh, we’ve been pretending to be good to each other, aren’t we? For appearance’s sake?”

Marianne gave a cursory nod.

‘Then there aren’t many people who know they’re not getting along. Well, Jin’s not that stupid. It wouldn’t be a good thing to openly show that you’re having a bad relationship with the king.’ Eugene thought to herself.

“And just before I met Marian the other day. Your Highness was furious. But he didn’t tell me why. Do you happen to know anything about it?” she continued to ask.

“The king was angry that the queen left the castle without saying a word. I guess that’s why he lost control of himself and stormed here furiously. He was only worried about you.”

Eugene thought that Marianne’s answer was not true. Would he have been worried about Jin? Or is he only worried that she won’t fulfill the contract?

The angry king came to complain that something was missing. When she said she lost her memory, she remembered the king’s expression of disgust. He didn’t feel worried at all about Jin Anika’s well being.

Marianne doesn’t seem to know what the kingdom has lost at that very day–the maids whom Jin Anika brought with her to the desert.

Eugene grimaced internally. It’s like everyone was feigning ignorance about them. They  had been quiet since then. She heard no words about the maids; as if their lives were only insignificant.

“The maids…They went to the desert with me and went missing…”

Eugene felt heavy at her heart when she thought of them. She felt more sorry for not being able to feel their absence due to the fact that she had not met them.

“Is there really no chance of them to still be alive?” Eugene knows the real answer, and it troubles her so, but still, she had to ask. She needed to ask. “The king said that they’re lawbreakers who won’t escape death even if they come back alive.” she added, the quietness in her voice giving way to the fear in her heart.

“Is that how he said it? Word for word?” Marianne asked, looking a little disappointed with the king’s decision. She’s not in approval of that decision then.

“So, you’ll help me?”

“What can I do for the queen?”

“I don’t remember, so I don’t know their personal circumstances. One of them could have been married, one of them could have been the head of a family.” she began to speak frantically, worried about the family left behind by her servants she couldn’t even remember. The Queen was not interested in their personal affairs from the start. She wouldn’t have thought of that, after knowing how she was before. However, Marianne did not bother to point out this fact. She listened without a word to Eugene’s ramblings.

“I want to make amends if they are having a hard time. I don’t know what the procedure is and I don’t think the king will allow it. Is this a difficult favor?” she asked, and Marianne couldn’t help but smile at her earnestness.

“Your Highness, make the order and I shall take care of it.”

“Thank you,” Eugene said in relief, and the tension from her shoulders eased away. Marianne couldn’t help but feel a slight pang on her chest. This was a miracle before her, for a person cannot change their ways completely. The loss of memory was an excellent way to start anew.

They always did say bad things come with the good. Two sides of the same coin. Marianne could only hope that this time, things would begin to change and prove beneficial to the kingdom.

Chapter 33 – Insatiable Thirst

Chapter 34 – Memories (1)

Chapter 35 – Memories (2)

Chapter 36 – Doubts

Chapter 37 – Beasts of the Desert

Chapter 38 – Leave No Stone Unturned (1)

Chapter 39 – Leave No Stone Unturned (2)

Chapter 40 – Second Night (1)

Chapter 41 – Second Night (2)

Chapter 42 – His Touch (1)

Chapter 43 – His Touch (2)

Chapter 44 – Crimson (1)

Chapter 45 – Crimson (2)

Chapter 46 – Anika (1)

Chapter 47 – Anika (2)