CH 14

Chapter 14 – Rakugo Doesn’t Go Well with Pasta

TN: Rakugo is basically a Japanese version of stand-up comedy and it also doesn’t go well with English translation. It was supposed to be funny but I don’t know how to do it. This chapter is a combination of entertainment and marketing strategy. If you don’t get anything, just think LIT(Lost in Translation). This is also relatively long so I’ll cut it in two chapters. By the way, you can also check the chapter 3 of manga for clarification/confusion.

There are so many people passing in front of the Schenker family house that it is incomparable to normal days.

Today is the thanksgiving festival, a festival to thank the sun god.

It is an ancient festival that is paired with the harvest festival in fall when we express gratitude to the moon god.

My master, Sawadi-sama, was busy preparing for the house for a while ever since he decided to put on a performance and a stall in front of their house.

The event was composed of performances using a food stall and during the intermission, the food stall used won’t be selling food.

Master, as one would expect from a merchant family, was very logical in terms of t.h.e.o.r.y.

There are many things I did not understand because I was only educated as a pet slave however, I don’t doubt a single word he said.

Sawadi-sama will be at their school festival so we will be doing it ourselves and we can only practice a lot.

Thanks to that, I’ve been exhausted lately although I think I’ve become the best pepperoncino maker in the world.

-0-

「What’s this?」

「It’s a pasta dish made of wheat called pepperoncino.」

「Hey, young lady, you’re so cute. Can I please get one?」

I handed the wooden plate of pepperoncino and a wooden fork to the sloppy-looking uncle and received nine pieces of copper.

I think it was expensive but I don’t know if it’s because today is a festival or because the smell of it is outstanding or because it’s a dish they’ve never seen before that it’s quite popular.

My appearance and cooking skills probably have a little bit to do with it too.

「Hey, it’s time!」

「Yo! I’ve been waiting for you!」

Mince-san, who had been staring at the hands of the clock with a spear on her hand, raised her voice, and the crowd around her cheered.

Mince-san is taking care of the silver pocket watch she recently received from master and she doesn’t let anyone around her touch it.

Master was too bold or too thoughtless to give such an expensive item to a slave or maybe, he’s still just a child?

「Seele, do it」

「Understood.」

Today, we have two jobs: sell pepperoncino at the food stall and use that stall to put on a play that master has devised.

Even Hunt, who can recite poetry and is very smart, said she couldn’t write a play, so I guess people who became mages have different brains.

「Please be quiet. We are about to start a dedication play starting now so please be quiet. You can’t buy food until we’re done so please understand.」

「What is that oneechan saying?」

「She’s saying you should shut up.」

「Oh」

「….it is a story about two stalls selling pepperoncino at night and their two customers. The title is “Peperoncino Time”.」

「Yow!」

「Good luck!」

「Roast-anego! I’m rooting for you!」

The audience is already hooked up because of Hunt’s performance earlier.

Some of them were there when we did the play earlier. I’m nervous.

The stall facing the street turned sideways, Mince-san brought a chair and sat down in front of me and the play began.

「Oh, peperocino clerk-san, I plate please.」

「Welcome, I’ll prepare it right away.」

「Hmm, it’s awfully cold, isn’t it?」

「Heh, it’s been very cold here recently.」

「We, scalekin, are weak to cold and I feel like I’ll stop moving because of it.」

「Heh, you’re right.」

「How’s business? Not so good? Well, it will get better sooner or later as long as you.don’t.give.up.」

「Thank you very much for your words of encouragement.」

「Yes, you’re right.」

「Ah, that sign with arrow hitting the target, what does it mean?」

Mince-san points to the cloth sign hanging on the stall.

「You’ll be hit g.o.o.d.l.u.c.k. heh」

「Good luck. I’m somewhat of a gambler too so I’ll be your patron from now on.」

「Heh, thank you very much.」

I served the pepperoncino I had made on a painted plate I had borrowed from master.

「Oh, you’re done already. I’m really glad about this because the people of Torquiva are short-tempered.」

「Thank you very much, heh.」

「You’re using a good plate. They say the food you eat tastes better if the dish looks good so I’m very pleased.」

「Thanks, heheh.」

Mince-san slurps up the pepperoncino with a lively sound.

I remember practicing it many times while choking because I couldn’t make this sound.

「Yeah, this pepperoncino tastes luxurious.」

「It’s just our secret ingredients.」

I didn’t really put anything.

「The smoked meat is sliced thickly too, is this okay?」

Mince-san picked up and showed the sliced smoked meat exaggeratedly as Sawadi-sama taught.

「This store is very particular about that.」

「I’m glad I tried this store. Then, I’ll go here before I go to the casino from now on.」

「Thank you very much.」

「As for the payment, it’s only for a few coins so give me your hand. 」

「Heh」

I put out my hand to Mince-san.

Mince-san drops the copper coin pieces in my hand, counting the number one by one.

「One, two, three, four, five, six, what time is it?」

「Heh, it’s seven.」

「Eight, nine, thanks for the feast.」

「Thank you very much.」

Fuhh, I managed to perform without any mistakes.

Hunt comes forward again and introduces Roast-san, who emerges from the shadows of the Schenker family’s gate.

「She finally appeared. This woman has been watching their conversation from behind all this time.」

The red hair fishkin, Roast-san, came slowly, folded her arms in a slightly hunched stance, and began speaking in a clear voice.

「Hey, what’s with that lizard woman?

She’s talking too much for a plate of pepperoncino.

She said it’s so cold.

Even though it is spring, it is still cold at night, even a child knows that.

She also said she’d be lucky because of a sign of an arrow hitting a target.

Only adventurers would be happy if they hit anything.

And what was that?

She said you’re fast, didn’t she?

That’s none of her business, that idiot.

And the dish is good?

What is she, a pawnshop connoisseur?

And the secret ingredient? Isn’t that pepper?

That idiot just said pepper was a secret ingredient.

And what’s more, the smoked meat is thick?

How can you tell if that little thing is thin or thick? Ridiculous.

…….hah.

I remember it all too well.」

The audience burst into laughter.

「And the last part was kind of strange. He asked her to give her her hand because they are copper coins and then went to….onetwothreefourfive.

What if you miscount it?

Eh?

One, two, three, four, five, six, what time is it?

Hee, seven.

Eight, nine….areh?

…..no, she counted right?

No no no, it’s not right!

One, two, three, four, five, six, what time is it?

Hee, seven.

Eight, nine….

Heh….heheh….

I bet he cheated one copper coin.」

Then, Roast clapped her hands.

「Haa, there are some guys who think about interesting things.

I see, so that’s why they praise me so much.

….I’ll give it a try」

At that point, Hunt comes forward and says a few words. I replaced the store sign and switched places with the centaur Pickles-chan.

「That girl! She must have made a fortune that night that she went around so much the next day. I guess I should do it too.」

With that remark, Roast-san came to Pickles’ stall.

「Hey, I’d like a drink.」

「Heh」

「It’s awfully cold today, isn’t it?」

「Really? If it’s not windy, it will be hot.」

Roast-san, who looked surprised, looked around while clutching her collar.

The audience started laughing.

「Oh, no, I have a cold.」

「That’s troublesome.」

「How’s business?」

「Thanks to you, I’m doing great.」

Roast-san was taken back again and turned her head to the side with a bitter expression.

The audience laughed louder than before.

「Is that so? Good to know. However, don’t let it go to your head….」

「You don’t have to teach me anything.」

Roast-san fell off her chair.

The audience was laughing hysterically and whistling something.

「that is……I know….by the way, that sign, it’s an arrow hitting its target….isn’t it?」

「We are doing business with the food a mage-sama thought up. It’s a bad luck to put a sign that will make you a t.a.r.g.e.t. of mage-sama.」

「Ah, yeah. I’d hate to be “extinguished”.」

When Roast-san said this and looked at Mince-san, the audience burst into laughter and applauded.

Mince-san was saved by master after she was burned to crisp by a fire dragon. She is known among the adventurers as “Mince the Cinder”.

Our adventurer party is really famous around here and they are usually invited as guests to weddings and banquets of the residents. Even if they are slaves.

「The best thing about pepperoncino is that it’s already ready while we are talking like this…..」

「………」

「………」

「………」

「………so slow! Why are you so slow? Peperoncino is supposed to be made quickly, served quickly, and eaten quickly.」

「I know….it’s ready!」

「Oh, this is it! Even if it’s slow but….what is that plate?」

「It’s a sorghum leaf….it’s disposable….」

「Well, the dish used doesn’t change the taste after all…..

Oh, oohhhh? The noodles are….limp and squishy…..

You’re not using the Schenker’s dried noodles, are you!?」

「They are a little expensive….so we made our own noodles and served them.」

「So that’s why it took so long!?

If it’s not the Schenker’s fried noodle, it won’t give much flavor and texture. If you buy the special dried noodles of the Schenker Company, that are made of 100% Torquiva wheat, they’ll even tell you how to make pepperoncino and other noodle dishes! There’s no reason why you shouldn’t buy them! You have no choice but to buy them! If it’s a hot noodle dish made with Schenker noodles, there’s no doubt that your cheating husband will not leave the house! You can buy them at the Schenker company for 1 copper coin for 5 servings! They’ll even teach you how to make easy sweets that are perfect for sudden visitors so there’s no doubt you’re in a real bargain!」

「「「Oohhhh!!」」」

Roast-san said that in one breath and the surrounding audience gave her a thunderous round of applause.

「Haa….haaa….water….」

「Here you go.」

After drinking up the water she had received from Pickles-chan, Roast-san resumed her performance.

「But you know, aside from the noodles, there’s no smoked meat in it too. Without it, this.peperoncino.is.nothing.」

「Customer-san, stop saying that false accusation.」

「Then, where are they? Hnn? Is this it! Oh, I thought it was just leaves!

You cut it so thin that it looks like a piece of art. 」

「You’re making me shy.」

The audience are screaming “Pickles-chan”.

「No, I’m not praising you. Hmm, I’ll just pay. How much is it?」

「Heh, nine copper coins.」

「I only have coins in me so I’ll hand it out.」

「Heh」

「Okay, one, two, three, four, five, six, what time is it?」

「Heh, four.」

「Five, six, seven, hey……」

The audience laughed and applauded that punchline the most and we lined up around Pickles-chan and Roast-san, and bowed to the audience.

The applause became louder again and a line of customers formed around Hunt, who took my place as the cook. They are asking pepperoncino.

The other customers are teaching those who couldn’t figure out the punchline.

I wonder if some of them have been here all morning.

It’s fun but to be honest, it’s a pain to do it every hour.