“Hayashi, use this.”
After finishing dinner, I handed her an item. It was something I prepared with the thought of helping our generation, who don’t use smartphones or watch TV (I’m from the same generation).
“…What is this?”
“It’s an old tablet.”
I own two tablets in addition to my smartphone. One is the one I’m currently using. The other is an old tablet that hasn’t seen the light of day since I purchased the latest one. Although its battery life is getting worse, it’s still usable, so I decided to give it to Hayashi.
“Is it okay to use this?”
“No problem. I have this one.”
“A smartphone and a tablet. If you keep staring at screens like that, your eyes will go bad, you know?”
“Are you my mom?”
I couldn’t help but retort. Hayashi seemed genuinely worried about me, which only fueled my urge to respond. She’s such a sinful woman.
“Wow, thank you. But I guess I should refrain from contacting friends, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s right. You said you don’t watch TV, but how about watching videos online or playing games? Of course, don’t spend money on mobile games. They’re a swamp. My mobile usage fees will go through the roof.”
“Don’t worry, I can’t play games that require delicate movements.”
“Again, are you my mom?”
When I say ‘mom’, I mean someone who isn’t familiar with handling electronic devices and always asks their son to set up their smartphone or tablet whenever they buy one. I don’t know if that’s a common thing, but anyway, is she really a typical 19-year-old these days? It’s very questionable.
“But I might watch videos. I quite like them.”
I think it’s the same as watching TV, but the difference is whether or not you can search for videos you like.
“What kind of videos do you watch?”
“Refreshing video compilations.”
“Are you my mom?!”
Adults who have experienced the unfairness of society, like moms, tend to enjoy watching such videos. They want to feel refreshed, at least through videos, because they couldn’t do so themselves. It’s like the old stories of Mito Komon, which are about promoting good and punishing evil.
However, I don’t like those kinds of videos. It’s not that I dislike promoting good and punishing evil. It’s just that there needs to be quality in promoting good and punishing evil. The compilation videos uploaded by people who can’t make a living without uploading daily are all similar and feature characters that are too stupid. I don’t like those types of videos because I can’t feel any reality in them.
“…Well, I don’t mind if you watch those kinds of videos, but do you know that my accounts on my smartphone and tablet are synced?”
“What does that mean?”
“In other words, I can see the videos you watch in my history.”
People tend to change their behaviour when they think someone else is watching them.
“Oh, so that means I can also see the videos you’ve watched, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
While maintaining my composure, I was breaking out in a cold sweat. I dug my own grave. That’s what I was thinking.
The reason I didn’t give that tablet to Hayashi until now was, of course, because I needed to reset the data on it first. Behind the scenes, I quickly transferred the necessary videos to my current tablet and carefully confirmed that everything was fine before handing it over to her.
But the history, it’s bad!
Well, I try not to watch sensitive videos on sites other than those… But recently, there are short movies of girls dancing. Sometimes, when I’m watching short movies late at night without any particular intention, I end up finding and watching such videos in a chain!
In other words, it’s bad!
It’s very bad!
“Your face is the most readable it’s ever been, you know?”
“It’s not just your imagination.”
“It’s not just my imagination, huh?”
“I thought I had backed up everything.”
“You thought you had backed up everything, huh?”
“I was convinced it would be fine since I formatted it!”
“You were convinced it would be fine since you formatted it, huh?”
Damn it…!
In my confusion, I inadvertently conveyed the whole situation smoothly!
Hayashi narrowed her eyes in disbelief and sighed after a while.
“I’m not going to pry into your private matters. After all, I’m living here thanks to you.”
“…Don’t you feel any danger?”
In the aftermath of domestic violence, it’s normal to feel a sense of danger living under the same roof as a man who has sexual desires.
“Are you going to attack me?”
“Would I?”
“I see.”
Hayashi sighed.
“I guess I’m not attractive, huh?”
I remained silent. I have no memory of ever saying or even thinking that Hayashi wasn’t attractive. I just didn’t say it out loud.
…I don’t know.
What’s the right thing to say?
Is it better to deny it and say that’s not true? But that would mean I’m implying that I’m attracted to her. From her perspective, that would only make her feel in danger.
On the other hand, saying the opposite would hurt her dignity as a woman.
Damn it! What kind of question is that, coming from her…!
Tremendous anger was beginning to sprout within me—an anger she wouldn’t be aware of.
“…Let’s just drop this topic.”
“Really? Teasing you is fun, you know.”
“Give me a break.”
“You’re fun to tease.”
Well, if she can laugh at my foolishness without feeling any unnecessary anxiety, then I don’t mind.
“… thanks. For the tablet.”
“Mm.”
That night, Hayashi didn’t let go of the tablet. She had said that her smartphone was destroyed while she was living with her ex-boyfriend, so it must have been several months since she last touched any modern electronic devices. She was fascinated by the fruits of human wisdom after such a long time.
From the tablet, the fast-talking voice characteristic of compilation videos played at a moderate volume.
It goes without saying that the storyline of the videos, which conveyed only the desire to put down others, hindered my sleep.