Day 61 Morning, Narrogi Town.
We are wandering through a town that looks more like abandoned ruins. The princess and me, just the two of us.
Its clear that we are being observed, but I walk nonchalantly, pretending not to know. Actually, Maid Girl is hiding in the Royal Girls shadow, and Slime-san is currently sitting on my head in its mini-version, hidden by the hood, so there are actually four people, but visually, only two.
Armored Pres is away on an errand.
Even though Im walking alone with a girl, at least appearance-wise, the moment I get even a bit close to the Royal Girl, Maid Girl begins stabbing at me with a sword from the shadow? Its no fun, she is even wearing the lewd dress, but its not fun at all.
Well, she is wearing armor on top of the dress, so skin exposure is limited, however, the back, navel, and leg slit are still exposed, truly a marvel of design! So wouldnt it be against the rules to cover that with a shield?
Are you sure about accompanying me? We are about to walk into the very midst of enemies, my life might not be in danger, but nothing can guarantee your safety? Why would you willingly expose yourself to such a danger?
You are asking if Im sure, but I just have business in this area? I need to make money, but at the same time, it would be a problem if there is nothing to buy with it, you know? So Im just tagging along and having some lewd dress appreciation time? Kind of!
Sort of? Well, just think that I came to simply take a look?
According to Stalker Girls clansmen, the main forces of the nobles army are still far, but smaller forces of nobles already began arriving, which includes mercenaries as well. While they are called mercenaries, some of them are no different from bandits.
Isnt it risky to let two girls go to such a place on their own?
And also, the First Prince Something is supposed to be coming with the main force! And also that dude, and some other dude, and also that other dude, and it seems that the other other dude will be there too! I wonder what its all about?
I heard the explanation, but the prince is supposedly a prince, and according to common sense, princes are generally male?
Moreover, its a pretty middle-aged prince, and since I couldnt be bothered to listen to something that boring, I ignored all of that talk about somebody of something coming to whatever with who cares, so I slightly lost the plot of this entire thing.
Even so, its a brother and sister, letting them have a direct murder contest with each other is in bad taste.
In addition, there have been multiple cases of attacks on merchants supporting our contraband effort. At first I thought that they mightve found out about the smuggling, but apparently the deterioration of public order, nasty mercenaries, and mischief by lesser nobles are to blame.
If they want to loot and steal on the kingdoms lands its their freedom, but I cant allow a contraband route to be destroyed. Rice deficit will directly impact my meals! The rice grudge is heavy! About the weight of seven dead bodies for one rice grain?
Ah, no, seven was the count for gods, if its bandits then 70,000 for one rice grain, so might as well massacre them all. Yup, that sounds like a plan! [1]
There are most certainly assassins around. Their threat is not in their strength but in their proficiency in killing people. Haruka-sama, you might possess the strength to kill monsters or even dungeon masters, but they are specialists in handling and killing humans.
Taken under the wing by the royalty or ancient noble houses they kept honing their assassination techniques for ages. What is awaiting us is not even going to be a battle in the proper sense of the word.
Oh, no~, Im so scared of sexy female assassins~! Let me say it aloud, or even shout, Im very~ scared of sexy female assassins~! Can you hear me~? Im super duper scared of ultra beautiful sexy female assassins~?
Kind of~ My worst enemies?
I tried to play it up! This shouldve raised a flag! Sexy female assassins should already be gathering, amassing here in large numbers from all over the kingdom! Finally, my true highschool boys battle is about to begin.
Will it be a beautiful kunoichi-san? A bewitching assassin? But the most important point, is honeytrap! Yes, it must be dripping and sweet like honey!
Thats right, I have to let them know that Im afraid of honeytraps too! Thats very important, I wonder if shouting about 2,000 times would be enough? Lets make placards too, Honey Traps Are Essential!.V/\\IssT n0(v)eL/b(i)(n)./ for the b/est novel reading experi/en/ce
Why would you start yelling like that when we are in the middle of a covert mission! We are trying to keep a low profile! We are sneaking! Please, dont attract attention by shouting!
But Maid Girl is aiming to stab me from Royal Girls shadow! Moreover, its a flat gaze maid girl in a lewd maid uniform! Well, getting stabbed sounds painful, so lets give up on the thighs, my happiness didnt last, but those were great thighs! After all, its the thighs with absolute territory!
Unfortunately, this wouldve been much better without the armor? Well, even so, I have to take revenge for the broken flags, so as much as I regret saying goodbye to this moment, it was very nice, thank you for the meal? Sort of?
We dont need that brat, off him. But dont you dare wound the princess.
A jet black scythe is spinning in mid-air, over my head, the instrument of the soul harvesting reaper. And only now, for a limited time, we have a special offer, two more scythes will come as a bonus, what a steal, available at a wonderful discount, it will cost you only all of your money!
I mean, you have to cover for the damages done to my precious flags, that I earnestly raised with such affection, Im taking everything!
Still ensnared in the net, Royal Girl and I entangle with each other, having this and that place touching, rubbing together, all while engaging in a boisterous dance with scythes.
As if in a rondo, I spin around with this well trained dynamite body while hunting down everyone around, cutting my way through as if in a deadly waltz. And then tango! Dishing kicks all around we stomp the middle-aged men.
The softness of her body was too pleasant, so I ended up overdoing it. This squishiness ranks at the top of this world. If I ever encounter a squishiness association Im definitely going to endorse her.
And since we moved so wildly while still caught in the net, we entwined even harder, which also made the dress slip from the shoulders, exposing her cleavage, the skirt creped up, baring her legs, and had us glued together.
For some reason, I sense a sudden rush of kindness towards the middle-aged men that attacked us, so Im willing to let them off with just burning their heads. You should be grateful for that half exposed voluptuous dynamite body! Im grateful for this too, thank you very much.
Damn, you bastard(*Whack!*)This little shit(*Thud*)You m(*Bam*)Oh(*Squash*) (*Crack*)
Promptly taking their wallets and valuables I put away the loot into the item bag. Sadly, the net that provided such a marvelous time, was removed by Maid Girl? Well, lets take the net too, this is good stuff.
Why are you robbing the bandits? Moreover, you are taking everything from weapons to items, no mercy at all! You even took the net!
No-no, you got it all wrong? Robbing normal people would indeed make you a bandit, but robbing bandits makes you a normal person? Probably?
Good grief, what an awful thing to say, it almost makes it sound like Im doing something wrong? They are the ones who did something bad, so naturally, that makes me a good person? Yup, no doubt about it, a perfectly logical and absolutely irrefutable line of reasoning.
In other words, no matter from which angle one approaches it, Im 360 degrees not to blame? I mean, they are the bad guys here?
Why double Flat Gaze? Wait, since body double is involved, maybe its Twin Flat Gaze? For some reason, every time Im trying to approach things logically, and argue that Im just an ordinary human, I get dissatisfied looks?
I thought that there might be an issue with the translation tool for the otherworldly languages, but even my classmates are giving me the same flat gazes? Its just sad that they are unable to understand my well-reasoned logic.
By the way, my explanations are so logical that the pres even praised me, saying Haruka-kuns explanations are galaxy brain.. Wait, was that a dis?
Anyway, lets bait another group, its pretty profitable. If 50 more bands were to attack us, becoming a magnate might not be out of reach! Alright, lets get attacked! Naturally, I still suggest, recommend, and strongly endorse the use of sexy female assassins.
Like, Im waiting?
[TL Notes:
[1] There is an old belief and a saying which is sometimes used to admonish children for wasting food. Every grain of rice has seven fortune gods.
[2] A famous Rakugo story.[2] Manju are scary The gist of it a group of young people talks about what they like, each gave some example, then the leader asked what they were scared of, everyone gave something quite commonplace like snakes or spiders, and then one of them says that he is scared of manju, others, naturally, were bewildered, how can anyone be scared of desserts, but he assured them that he is absolutely terrified of manju.
So, of course, they decided to play a prank on him, bought some manjus, and according to different version either threw manju at him or left them by his bedside, Im sure there are other version too, but what they all they have in common is that when confronted with the red-bean-pasta-filled desserts he begins eating them.
Other boys realize that they were deceived and demand him to tell what he is really afraid of, to which he shyly answers that he is very scared of delicious tea.
[3] Rakugo https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakugo