CH 44

It was the first time Gu Yan heard Ye Zi call him that. He didn’t think too much about it and reached out to touch Ye Zi’s back comfortingly, asking softly: “What’s wrong, who made A Zi angry?”

Ye Zi’s consciousness was muddled as he leaned against Gu Yan’s shoulder and vaguely answered: “You.” 

Gu Yan was stunned for a moment. Thinking that Ye Zi was just acting coquettishly with him, he returned with a smile: “Is it because I didn’t accompany you today and didn’t let you go out?” 

“It’s because I’m worried about your safety.” Gu Yan stroked Ye Zi’s hair, his eyes slightly narrowed, “If anything happens to you, what am I going to do?” 

Ye Zi looked up at him, with a bit of confusion in his bright and moist eyes: “Why?……”

Gu Yan asked: “What?”

Ye Zi frowned slightly with an expression that looked as if he wasn’t fully awake: “Why…..worry about me?” 

Gu Yan didn’t answer, but laughed softly: “Why are you suddenly asking about this?”  

Ye Zi didn’t respond anymore. Gu Yan was worried that he would fall off the bed so he slowly put him back on the bed and continued to remove his outer clothes for him. Ye Zi obediently cooperated with Gu Yan’s movements and looked at him without blinking with an unnatural redness at the end of his eyes.

The maidservant soon brought over the hangover soup and Gu Yan sat on the edge of the bed as he fed it to Ye Zi one spoonful at a time. 

Ye Zi obediently finished the soup. As Gu Yan was about to get up, Ye Zi reached out and pulled him: “Don’t leave…….”

Gu Yan only got up to put the bowl down on the table and immediately sat back on the bed, holding his hand: “Mnn, I’m not leaving.”

The room was quiet for a while as tiredness gradually took over. Ye Zi rubbed his eyes, still stubbornly staring at Gu Yan.

After an unknown amount of time had passed, Gu Yan suddenly asked: “A Zi, why do you keep looking at me?” 

Ye Zi truthfully answered: “Because I want to.” 

“But why?”

Ye Zi smiled foolishly: “Because you’re good-looking.”

Gu Yan sighed softly and pressed closer to him with his head down: “Apart from that?”

Ye Zi cocked his head blankly, not understanding what he was referring to.

Gu Yan’s hand gently traced over Ye Zi’s face as he said in a warm voice: “A Zi, you asked me why I worry about you and my answer is the same as your answer at this moment.”

“…… A Zi, you care about me.”

“You have me in your heart. That’s why you’re always thinking of me, caring about what I think, and being annoyed and displeased because of me.” Gu Yan’s hand traveled down as he interlocked with Ye Zi’s fingers and brought the back of his hand to his lips for a light kiss, “I don’t know if you’ll forget this after you’ve sobered up, but if you forget, I will say it again.”

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“A Zi, you’re in love with me, right?”

Ye Zi looked at him in a daze as his eyes suddenly reddened.

Compared to earlier, he was a little more conscious but still not completely sober.

It was like he had stepped into the void, surrounded by boundless darkness, muddled and chaotic. In this void of space, there was only one place that was clear and bright.

That only light, named Gu Yan.

Ye Zi stared at the light obsessively and even had an impulsive thought in his drunken brain.

He didn’t mind that Gu Yan still had someone in his heart, he wanted to stay by his side.

As the little gray sparrow said, in a person’s lifetime, they don’t only fall in love once. As long as Gu Yan was willing to give him a small piece of his heart, he would be happy with it.

Ye Zi’s eyes gradually became blurred. He turned his head and a tear fell from the corner of his eye, hidden by his hair. 

Gu Yan lowered his head and kissed his eyes, his tone was quite helpless: “Why are you crying? Your reaction makes me feel that I am forcing you.”

“I admit, in the beginning, I indeed forced you to stay. But I don’t regret it. If I didn’t, how would you have stayed by my side?” He cupped Ye Zi’s face and said in a warm voice, “A Zi, at one point, I didn’t know what my purpose of living was. I couldn’t protect my homeland, protect my people, and protect the person I loved.”

“I was disturbed by nightmares day and night. I was unable to forgive and unable to let go.” 

“……But then I realized that it was because I was asking for too much.”

Gu Yan leaned over and embraced Ye Zi, his voice was low and shallow: “Did you know, both my name and courtesy name was given to me by my Imperial Grandfather, meaning……’with the sea calm and the river clear, the world is at peace.’ He regarded me as the successor and wanted me to look after the dynasty after he had passed. I promised him and had made this my goal.”

“But it was too difficult.”

“For his wish, I almost risked everything and lost a lot of things that I cherished.” Gu Yan closed his eyes and said in a low voice, “That’s why I told myself that what I want for the rest of my life is to be with the person I love away from society. As for the rest, I think it’s time for me to let go.”

In his previous life, for the promise of peace in the world, he planned his whole life, sacrificed everything, and pushed himself into a desperate situation.

Heaven had given him the chance to live again so he naturally wanted to live according to his own desire.

Gu Yan lowered his head and solemnly and reverently dropped a kiss on Ye Zi’s brow: “A Zi, I like you, are you willing to be my real Princess Consort Rui?”

More tears welled up in his eyes. Ye Zi bit his lip and his body twitched slightly.

Gu Yan was a little panicked and quickly hugged him. Noticing that the body in his arms gradually calmed down, Gu Yan laughed: “Why are you like this? If you’re unhappy that I prepared all these sweet words, that’s fine. But why are you crying?” 

“T-That’s……not why……” Ye Zi huffed and opened his mouth.

Gu Yan put his hand on his lips and said softly: “It’s okay. If you haven’t thought about it and don’t know how to answer, you can take your time to think about it. But promise me that when you’ve thought about it, you must give me an answer, okay?”

Ye Zi buried his head in Gu Yan’s arms and nodded softly.

Gu Yan asked: “Are you still dizzy? Shall I sleep with you for a while?”

Ye Zi’s head hurt from crying as he nodded: “Mnn.”

Gu Yan took off his outer clothes, hugged Ye Zi, and lay down with him. He turned sideways and circled Ye Zi in his arms. The latter was really exhausted and fell asleep in a short while.

Ye Zi’s eyelashes still had some wetness on them, his brows were furrowed, and he wasn’t sleeping very soundly. 

Gu Yan turned his head to look at him and his eyes gradually darkened.

This person was a bit off today.

Gu Yan understood him. Ye Zi took the overall situation into consideration and acted in a proper manner, if not for some reason, he would never let himself get drunk outside. Not to mention his reaction when Gu Yan spoke to him just now.

He really wasn’t acting like his usual self.

Did he encounter something outside? Or was it because of what happened last night……

Gu Yan couldn’t remember what happened when he fell ill, but he probably knew that his appearance at that time was definitely not very good-looking. Did it scare him?

Gu Yan sighed silently, suddenly regretting saying so much to Ye Zi today.

He was too hasty.

It was late at night when Ye Zi woke up again. The moonlight outside the window was hazy as it shone into the room through the shadows of the trees, spilling a mottled trail on the ground.

He opened his eyes, only to feel a splitting headache, and his body was so sore and weak that he had little strength. His inner clothes had already been changed and a set of clean outer clothes were placed by the bed, but Gu Yan, who was originally by his side, was nowhere to be found.

Ye Zi reached out and touched the sheets beside him, it was completely cool. 

A small oil lamp was lit in the inner room, Ye Zi got up and leaned against the head of the bed, recalling what Gu Yan said to him earlier.

Gu Yan had asked if he was willing to become his real Princess Consort Rui. 

Just when he thought he had lost Gu Yan, that person suddenly gave him his heart without any warning, but also as if it was natural.

Ye Zi leaned against the bed in a daze when the door was suddenly pushed open and a rich and pungent smell of food immediately filled the room. When Ye Zi smelled this scent, he suddenly felt hungry.

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When Gu Yan stepped into the room, he immediately saw that Ye Zi had woken up and turned around to order: “You can put it down.” 

“Yes.” The maidservant placed the food on the table and, without another word, exited the room.

Gu Yan ladled a bowl of porridge and stepped into the inner room: “Awake?”

Ye Zi raised his eyes to look at him. Gu Yan placed the bowl of porridge onto the small table beside the bed, took a pillow to cushion Ye Zi, and then picked up the bowl again.

Gu Yan said: “I made some rice porridge for you. Since you drank at noon, drink some hot porridge to warm your stomach. Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?”

Ye Zi shook his head: “No.”

Gu Yan nodded and scooped a spoonful of porridge. He brought it to his mouth and blew on it to cool it down before bringing it to Ye Zi. 

Ye Zi froze and subconsciously reached out to take the bowl with his hand: “I’ll do it myself……”

Gu Yan didn’t give it to him and just said, “I’ll feed you.”

Ye Zi said: “Your Majesty, I’m really fine, I don’t feel uncomfortable at all, I can eat by myself.”

Gu Yan glanced at him: “I know you’re fine.”

“Then……”

Gu Yan interrupted him: “Drink it quickly otherwise it will get cold.”

Ye Zi had no choice but to do as he was told.

The porridge was filled with millet and rice and the heat was just right. It was soft and delicious, sweet and smooth and after drinking a spoonful, Ye Zi’s clamoring stomach finally eased up a bit.

After feeding Ye Zi a few mouthfuls of porridge, Gu Yan carefully asked: “How do you think it tastes?”

No matter how one cooked rice porridge, it wouldn’t taste that bad. Ye Zi didn’t think too much about it and replied truthfully: “It’s okay.”

Gu Yan continued to ask: “Just okay? How is it compared to the ones you had in the past?”

Ye Zi was stunned and vaguely realized something: “This porridge……did you make it yourself?”  

Gu Yan responded: “Mnn.”

“……How long did it take?”

Gu Yan estimated: “Almost three hours, give or take.”

Ye Zi was silent for a moment and asked tentatively: “Is the kitchen okay?”

“It’s fine.” Gu Yan paused and calmly said, “It’s just that the manor might not be able to serve dinner today. I have already sent someone to bring back some food from the restaurant.”

Ye Zi: “……”

Gu Yan thought for a moment and argued in his own defense: “It’s not my fault. I did all the steps accordingly. It was the bottom of the pot that couldn’t withstand the fire and cracked, nearly setting the stove on fire. But it’s fine, most of those burnt pots were getting old so having them get new ones avoids this kind of thing from happening again in the future.”

He stirred the porridge with a porcelain spoon and said grudgingly: “If not for that, I would have been back a long time ago.”

Ye Zi was speechless.

This man had almost burned down the kitchen and even dared to say that it was the pot’s fault. Ye Zi could imagine what the household servants working in the kitchen were like as they watched their Prince burn down the kitchen without even being able to speak out in anger. 

Ye Zi was furious and amused as he shook his head: “Your Majesty, you don’t have to do this.”

Gu Yan looked up at him and said with a straight face: “I heard that the common men have to spend a lot of effort in pursuing their sweetheart. If they don’t personally do something for their sweethearts and only verbalize a few words of love, how can their sweetheart marry them with confidence? I didn’t know this before, but now that I know, I can’t be the same as before. If they can do it, I can do it too.”

He put down the bowl of porridge, took out a silk handkerchief, and wiped the corner of Ye Zi’s mouth as he said gently, “……I just want to treat you better.”