Chapter 165: I’ll Smack You Right Away

“Great Patola? Little Patola?”

Shu Yichao looked at the map.

“That color is such an eyesore.”

He was planning to head to Dayuan to restore their tradition of annual tributes to Great Tang, but he wasn’t planning to take his usual straight route. He had nothing better to do right now anyway, so he figured that he might as well beat up all the countries along the way.

He first sent yet another wave of terracotta soldiers to be rid of at the Iron Gate Pass before personally leading an army toward Great Patola and Little Patola. These two places were better known to him as...

“Kashmir, right?”

...

In a majestic building in Little Patola...

“Paying respects to the Holy Nation’s envoy. Paying respects to the esteemed Eminence.”

Little Patola’s officials entered a hall, then they kneeled down and bowed to Weryomahners, who was resting on the throne. Their king was seated on a smaller chair by the side.

It was disrespectful for the Tibetan envoy to take their king’s seat, but none of Little Patola’s officials dared to express their displeasure. That would only be creating a reason for the other party to punish them.

After the officials had paid their respects, Little Patola’s king carefully asked, “Holy envoy, may I enquire the reason behind your visit?”

Weryomahners swirled the wine cup in her hands, not saying a word.

The hall descended into silence.

The king sweated profusely as he wondered if he had unwittingly offended the envoy.

It can’t be, right? I am at least an extended relative of the Tibetan Empire. They shouldn’t turn against me for no reason.

A few heavy minutes passed before Weryomahners finally spoke up, “Tang bandits are causing trouble in the Western Region. We need you to deploy your troops to quell the unrest. You don’t have any problem with that, right?”

“Of course not, of course not!” Little Patola’s king fervently shook his head.

You must be kidding me! Unless I want someone to scrape my skin off to make human skin drums, I would never dare to have a problem with that!

That’s good to hear.

They are just taking a couple of soldiers away. I probably have to spend a hefty sum to bribe this envoy too, but at least it won’t hurt our foundation.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

After the banquet concluded, just as Little Patola’s king was about to make relevant arrangements regarding the envoy’s request, his aide suddenly grabbed his arm and asked, “Your Majesty, should we... give this matter more thought?”

“...” Taken aback, the king asked, “What rumors have you heard?”

Oh no, there’s a ditch ahead! What should we do? Should we bring in the ladders?

Of course not. We just have to dump enough terracotta soldiers in to fill up the ditch, then we’ll be able to advance as if walking on flat ground!

Oh no, there’s a river ahead! How should we cross it? Do we need to construct a bridge?

Of course not. We just have to dump enough terracotta soldiers in to pave a wide path out of bones and mud.

Oh no, there’s a wall ahead!

It’s still the same. There are good brothers around that can be used as construction materials.

So, it didn’t take long for the undead army to create a straight path into the fort.

Cloud Fort’s garrison troops were stupefied.

They watched in horror as the ghost horsemen, now riding on giant sand monitors, charged across the paved path and arrived before them in the blink of an eye, easily ripping through their thin defense line.

“Oh no!” Seeing the casualties swiftly stack up, the commander snapped out of his daze and rallied his army together to put up a resistance. “Men, gather around me! We shall...”

Bzt!

A lightning bolt whizzed across the air and zapped him, reducing him to a charred corpse.

Having lost their highest commander, Cloud Fort’s garrison troops succumbed to chaos and swiftly crumbled. In a few moments, they were already drowning under the flood of terracotta soldiers.

Cloud Fort had fallen!

With this, the doors to Little Patola was opened to Shu Yichao.

...

It was late at night.

The king of Little Patola was enjoying his sleep when he heard a ruckus outside. A slight frown formed on his forehead as he pulled his blanket upward to cover his head, hoping to drown out the noises outside.

However, the noises didn’t fade. Instead, it got louder.

“What are you kicking a fuss for?!” Unable to take it anymore, the king leaped out of bed and walked to his room door as he hollered, “Try making any more noises and I’ll behead you!”

To his surprise, when he opened the door, he found himself faced with his flustered aide.

“Your Majesty, bad news! The Tang army has appeared outside our city!”

“HA?!” The king was stunned.