CH 53

Editor: abbie & noot

Proofreader: XavierForest

After this was said, the two were stunned. Qian Zhu didn’t think he’d ever be this stupid—stupid to the point where he confessed to the other. Still, now it was too late to change what had been said, and he really did do it, so should he just admit to it?

He felt ashamed and flustered because of his actions, his heart filled with many different emotions. In the end, he was unable to tell what it was he was feeling. While he did regret his actions and kept blaming himself, there were still some unspeakable emotions surging within; there was a sense of excitement, a sense of good fortune, and he even thought that maybe Su Tang would like him too. But that was impossible. It was just a fantasy, and it would remain one.

Though he was ashamed of his actions, he hadn’t been able to control himself. Before leaving, he couldn’t help kissing the other.

He’d only wanted to look at the other person then, yet he’d been unable to stop himself from kissing Su Tang. Only when Su Tang opened his mouth to speak did Qian Zhu realise he might have done something regrettable.

However, this was good though. If he wasn’t discovered, he might continue to have these thoughts he shouldn’t have. If their relationship fell apart today, then it fell apart. It’d be better for Su Tang. Qian Zhu hid his sour thoughts in his heart and turned his head, not daring to look the other in the eye.

Because once he looked into Su Tang’s eyes, he knew he’d sink further and would never be able to keep those feelings hidden deep inside his heart down. If Su Tang saw this unspeakable desire of his, he’d definitely be frightened.

So when Qian Zhu kept silent, and Su Tang did the same, the room was instantly very quiet. It was like stretching your hand out in the dark and not being able to see your fingers—not a feeling many could name.

A faint plum fragrance floated into the room and the sand in the hourglass slowly moved. After a while, Su Tang said, “You… Why did you kiss me?”

‘Because I like you’, Qian Zhu thought in his heart, but he was unwilling to say it out loud. He looked back and, with a self-deprecating smile on his face, he asked, “Did you find it disgusting?”

Su Tang was shocked and looked at Qian Zhu. The other stood before him; his body was like a long piece of jade, his entire being graceful and charming. And yet those eyes weren’t warm, nor did they carry a smile. There was only coldness within, just like the moon—lonely and desolate.

“If you don’t want to reply, you don’t have to force yourself. I’m sorry.” Qian Zhu hurriedly added.

“No.” Su Tang quickly shook his head. He was uncomfortable and a little lost; he secretly knew his answer, except for some reason, he couldn’t say it. He needed to think carefully for a while, but his mind was empty and his thoughts were sluggish, like his brain was rusty.

Since he was afraid Qian Zhu would be sad, he looked into his eyes and, in a weak voice that had a whiny tone to it, he said, “Qian Zhu, my head hurts and my reaction is a bit slow. Wait for me and let me slowly think. After I think it through, I’ll answer you, okay?”

After Qian Zhu heard that, his heart started to race. His little baby was so spoiled; when he wanted to cry, he’d cry, and when he wanted to throw a tantrum, he would do so. But now Su Tang was like an adult, careful and pitiful, his eyes filled with unshed tears. Qian Zhu almost leaned over to take him into his embrace.

However, he resisted and stayed in his original position, his heart aching and feeling guilty beyond words. He wanted to say more, but when he met Su Tang’s gaze, he could only nod. “Alright.”

Su Tang heaved a sigh of relief and looked at Qian Zhu again before lowering his head to think carefully.

He recalled the kiss that came out of nowhere, and while it made him flustered, it didn’t disgust him. He could even say it was rather comfortable; Qian Zhu’s lips were warm and soft, like a cloud in the skies that was lightly coloured by sunlight. He… He’d actually quite liked it, and when Qian Zhu had pulled away, he felt reluctant.

What… What was wrong with him?

Su Tang couldn’t help but think for who knows how long before, in a small voice, he said, “I… I actually don’t hate you.”

Qian Zhu abruptly raised his head and widened his eyes in disbelief. He stared for a while and then asked, “You.. What did you just say?”

“I said I don’t hate you.” Su Tang’s face turned red as he hurriedly lowered his head, wanting to hide his expression. He suddenly remembered something and meekly asked, “So why did you kiss me?”

Qian Zhu paused before finally answering, “Because I like you.”

Su Tang was stunned, and his mouth opened and closed, unable to make a sound. He stared at Qian Zhu for a while and eventually asked, “What kind of like?”

“It’s the ‘very like’ kind.” Qian Zhu paused for a while before carrying on, “When I see you every day, I feel very happy; I want to hug you, kiss you, and be good to you; I want to spoil you, and when I see you cry, my heart hurts and I want to give you all the good things in the world; when I see you smile, my heart starts to race—no matter what mood I’m in, as long as I see you, I’ll be happy.” 

“Don’t speak anymore…” Su Tang heard his sweet words and his face started to heat up. His heart rate also increased, but Qian Zhu didn’t listen and continued to speak.

“I really like you. I like to rub your head and pinch your face, and I like your happy face too. I also like the way your nose looks when you cry, and even the way you look when you’re angry—I like it. No matter what you look like, I like it all.”

“Why though…” Su Tang trailed off. Qian Zhu had walked in front of him and gently tapped his forehead.

When Su Tang lifted his head, Qian Zhu matter-of-factly said, “Because I like you.”

“You weren’t like this before ah.” Su Tang said, feeling wronged.

“Before?” Qian Zhu questioned.

“Before, you were proper and spoke so little…” Su Tang stared at Qian Zhu.

“Because I like you.” Qian Zhu repeated. “So much so that I stopped being proper.”

He took Su Tang’s hand and placed it in his, gently caressing it. He said, “Do you know why I was avoiding you?”

Su Tang shook his head, at a loss, just like a cute little white rabbit. Although the little white rabbit was confused by the big grey wolf’s words, he seemed to be emitting pink bubbles from all over his body.

Qian Zhu smiled and softly said, “Because I dreamt of you every day.”

Su Tang didn’t react, so Qian Zhu patiently said, “You always hug me when you’re asleep. Your hands and feet are never well-behaved, always rubbing against me. In the end…”

“Stop talking!” Su Tang finally understood what Qian Zhu was saying. His whole body started to heat up. It was as if Qian Zhu was the one rubbing against him rather than him rubbing against Qian Zhu.

“I like you, baby.” Qian Zhu said again.

“We’re still young…” Su Tang knew from the start that he’d already fallen but he wanted to continue struggling.

Qian Zhu nodded. “En, so we can grow up together; we can be childhood sweethearts, two innocent playmates. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

It did sound pretty good. Su Tang secretly pondered it and quickly grew fond of the idea. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards, and this was noticed by Qian Zhu.

He used his index finger to push the corner of Su Tang’s lips and said, “Good baby, your heart is already fond but you’re still unwilling to say the truth?”

“Say what ah?” Su Tang felt much too shy to say it out loud so he played dumb.

“Say you like me.” Qian Zhu replied.

“En, you like me.” Su Tang immediately said. 

“Yes, yes, yes, I like you, I like you the most.” Qian Zhu couldn’t help laughing at Su Tang’s antics and could only say, “So do you like me?”

“…En,” Su Tang said softly.

“Baby is the best.” Qian Zhu tugged at Su Tang’s sleeve, revealing a red string inside. It was the one Qian Zhu had given him when Su Tang was pretending to sleep.

“What’s this?” Su Tang asked.

Qian Zhu silently smiled and exposed his own wrist, revealing an identical red string. There was a little peach on the red string, and when Su Tang looked down, he realised their names were engraved on it.

“I got this from the Moon Elder.1” Qian Zhu suddenly said. 

Su Tang’s eyes grew wide with shock, and Qian Zhu said, “I carved the peach myself. Each person’s string of fate has their own name engraved on it. When they meet their fated one, they exchange strings and their fates will be wound together.” 

Qian Zhu didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid Su Tang would give his string to someone else. Then he wanted to avoid this moment, yet he was afraid Su Tang would be taken by another. He’d thought for a long time, but ultimately, he wasn’t willing to part.

He wanted Su Tang to really like him before exchanging red strings.

This, however, was merely all a fantasy of Qian Zhu’s. He had no idea it would come to fruition so quickly. Qian Zhu sighed in his heart before asking, “Baby, can we exchange red strings?”

“It’s up to you.” Su Tang’s heart was filled with happiness. Iit was like a budding flower, with sweet sugar melting on his lips and teeth. He titled his head, feigning indifference when, in reality, he already had his little hand outstretched to Qian Zhu.

Qian Zhu smiled as he looked down. He then took the string off Su Tang’s wrist first before replacing it with his own and asked, “Actually, I always wanted to ask—when I kissed you, what were you feeling?”

Su Tang immediately recalled the feeling. He couldn’t say it and said, “Forgot.”

“Oh.” Qian Zhu didn’t continue to ask, offering his own wrist to Su Tang. Only when Su Tang finished tying the string did Qian Zhu lean in and say, “It’s not good to forget. How about you let big brother jog your memory?”