CH 50

“I’m home.”

As he entered the room, Inseop muttered to himself. The only thing waiting for him in the empty space was the dark stillness, but he wanted to breathe life into it even if it was like this.

The first thing he did when he turned on the light and went inside was to wash his hands and feet. Inseop, who changed clothes and sat in front of the desk, organized what he had done today in his notebook. He doesn’t have to find out about Lee Wooyeon anymore, but it was a habit he got, so he scribbled it down mechanically and closed the notebook.

“I’m tired.”

Choi Inseop was lying on the floor and muttered.

He felt like his whole body had run out of energy because he was watching Lee Wooyeon all day today. Lee Wooyeon was consistent throughout the day with a cold attitude. Even if he bought bread for him, he took a bite and threw it away, took a sip but said the coffee didn’t taste good, and even threw it in the trash. It was such a transformation that he wondered if it was someone other than Lee Wooyeon. It seemed like something had happened after leaving the club, but he couldn;t ask Lee Wooyeon about it.

The events of yesterday that he couldn’t remember weighed heavily on Inseop’s heart.

Rather, it would be better to say, “Shut up, you did crazy things to me yesterday among other things.”

Inseop turned his head to the flowerpot in the corner of the room and spoke.

“Kate. There are not many days left to see you now.”

One of the things he had to clean up after leaving Seoul was Kate. Inseop went to the flower shop where he bought Kate and said that he would return the flowerpot. The owner of the flower shop was confused, but Inseop said that he would pay for the cost of arranging and nutritional supplements that would occur in the future, so he allowed him to do it with a sullen face.

“Lee Wooyeon… You hit Young-mo Kang.”

Even as he said that, Inseop lowered his voice as much as possible so that no one would hear him.

“So Kang Youngmo is still in the hospital. He had to lie in bed for a while. Fortunately, nothing went wrong, but … Lee Wooyeon did that. Only I know that Lee Wooyeon did it.”

At first, when he took a picture of Lee Wooyeon coming out of the alley, Inseop thought he had a chance not to go back to him. However, the secret grew heavier as time went on and weighed on Inseop.

“I thought everything would be clear if I had Lee Wooyeon’s weakness, but it’s even more frustrating.”

Inseop realized that he was more deeply attached to Lee Wooyeon than he had thought.

“What should I do? What should I do?”

He asked a question, but no answer came back.

Inseop lightly stroked his face with the palm of his hand.

He had to hold on to his weak heart. Only the most important ending of the waiting moment remained. If the word dismissal does not come out of Lee Wooyeon’s mouth by next Wednesday, he can use the excuse that he is not feeling well and write his resignation letter.

Anyway, Lee Wooyeon’s manager changes once every three months, so even if he left, no one will care.

Even though there was a clear blueprint for the future, Inseop was still confused. Inseop, who was fiddling with Kate’s flowerpot with his fingertips, checked his watch and stood up. Today was the day he had a phone call with his mother. After a few rings, he heard his mother’s voice.

<Hello? Peter?>

<Yes. What were you doing?>

<Will was taking a bath, Inseok-ah! Where are you running away?>

He heard Will barking over the phone. The whole living room of the house would be covered in water because of Will running around every time he took a bath.

<Tell him yo’ll give him his favorite snack after bathing.>

<You have to listen. Will! Stay there. Otherwise, I won’t give you snacks.>

He heard Will’s loud barking. He still seemed to think of bathing as a game. In terms of human age, even though he was well over his twenties, Will was always an underdog. Inseop, who was smiling, thought that he wanted to hug Will quickly.

“Mom. Next week… I might come back.”

Even after booking the plane ticket, Inseop did not inform his family that he was going back to the United States. He didn’t know how things were going to end yet, so he thought he wouldn’t tell them until he got to the airport.

“What? Really? Are you really coming back? Thank you, God. Do you know how much I cried when you appeared in a dream yesterday?”

He heard his mother’s crying voice. If he had known that she would like it this much, he guessed he should have told her sooner.

“Are you really coming back? What time is the flight? Huh?”

“I’m not sure yet, so for now, only mother knows. I’ll give you more details in a few days.”

“Okay. Okay. Are you eating well? Are you in pain?”

“Yes. I’m okay.”

“By the way, did the work you were trying to do in Korea work out well?”

Inseop hesitated for a moment at his mother’s voice asking carefully, then answered honestly.

“I think it will work out… I am not sure.”

“What certainty?”

When Inseop said he was going to Korea, it was his mother who opposed him the most at first. She was angry and opposed because of the fact that her weak son was leaving for a distant place, and he didn’t explain the reason properly. He had to convince his mother to believe in him only once, because Inseop was really going for someone who was so precious. But in the end he didn’t tell anyone what it was. Except for Jenny, who was no longer in the world.

If someone listened to it, they would say that he was crazy, or they could laugh at whether it would be a waste to waste his life on such trivial things. But for Inseop, it was the most important issue.

<I’m confident that I’m doing the right thing.>

Right now, he just wants to step away from Lee Wooyeon’s side. An ominous feeling that if he stayed by his side even a little longer, he would not be able to control his heavy heart on his own, was slowly growing.

<Peter. People cannot always do what is right.>

<… …>

<You just have to do what you want the most. Mom believes in you.>

Peter’s heart ached at the words that she believed. Wasn’t he trying to sell someone for his redemption here and now with that one word?

When no answer came from the son, his mother deliberately continued the conversation in a pleasant voice.

<You know that when I’m not in a good mood, I always go out to buy donuts at the 3rd Street store, right?>

<Yes. I know.>

His mother, who made donuts, as well as various breads and cookies better than most bakeries, would go to the old store whenever she was stressed and buy donuts that didn’t taste special.

<At first, I did it because the donuts were delicious, but in the end, the way I walked to it felt better.>

<… …>

<I am not obsessed with results. Because there are many cases where you find meaning along the way. Understand?>

<… Yes. Then I will call you back next time.>

<Okay. I hope to see you next week.>

A friendly greeting was added and the call was disconnected.

‘What I want.’

What is it? Inseop laid on the floor and picked out the things that immediately came to his mind. His family, the cookies his mom baked, the books he left on the bookshelf after not reading, Will’s soft paws, the never-ending story with Jenny, and…

The cell phone rang. He woke up and looked at his phone screen, and three letters of the name Lee Wooyeon struck his heart.

Choi Inseop was conflicted. He shouldn’t answer the phone. He should just say he didn’t know because he was sleeping tomorrow morning. Anyway, Lee Wooyeon was the person he had to throw away. It was no use trying to be nice to this person anymore …

“… Hello.”

… no use. For a human like him, no matter how much he put his mind to it, it was really useless.

Inseop took the call and let out a bitter sigh.

“It’s me.”

“Yes. I am listening.”

It was very dangerous to hear Lee Wooyeon’s voice over the phone. Because the receiver part touched his ear, he felt Lee Wooyeon’s sweet voice flowing into his ear and fluttering.

“How is your body?”

“Fine.”

“I’m glad. It must have been a cheap drug.”

Inseop’s face flushed as he remembered the memory of yesterday when he was forced to take a drug. Until recently, he had made up his mind by muttering that it had nothing to do with Lee Wooyeon, but at every word he said, he felt really pathetic that he was helpless like a teenage girl.

“What were you doing?”

It was a strange feeling.

When they were together just a moment ago, Lee Wooyeon didn’t say anything kind to him, he just stared at him with ferocious eyes, but what was the reason why he suddenly spoke on the phone with such a soft voice?

“I was just.”

Inseop answered, drawing various pictures on the floor with his fingers.

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“Who are you with?”

“…”

Although the tone was friendly, Inseop could hear the sharpness hidden inside and realized that he was being interrogated.

“Kate?”

Startled, he moved his hand and touched Kate’s leaf. Kate curled up her leaves like clenched fists.

“Are you with Kate?”

“We are together, but…”

Inseop looked at the flowerpot in front of him and answered.

“Did you give her water today?”

When did he tell Lee Wooyeon that Kate was a plant? Did he say something like that while drinking yesterday?

Inseop scratched his head and replied with a shy voice. There was silence over the phone, followed by laughter.

“It’s the first time in my life that I have a hard time memorizing a person like Mr. Inseop.”

He didn’t know what he was memorizing, but Inseop responded appropriately saying was that so.

The sound of flipping papers could be heard over the phone.

“Are you reading a book?”

It was a question he could ask because he knew that one of Lee Wooyeon’s hobbies was reading.

“It’s not a book, but I was reading something a little more interesting than that. For sending it earlier than I thought…”

Lee Wooyeon, who was muffled at the end of his speech, suddenly asked Inseop a question.

“Is the job okay?”

“Yes?”

“These days, is the work okay?”

It was as if a friend was greeting him after a long time. Inseop let out a small sigh and answered honestly.

“I would be lying if I said it wasn’t difficult, but it’s okay because it’s my choice.”

Lee Wooyeon replied, “That’s right.”

“I think I didn’t know too much about Inseop. Again.”

“…Yes.”

There was no reply to that, and he didn’t know what to say. Just then, a soft moan came from the phone.

“Where are you?”

When Inseop asked that question, Lee Wooyeon let out a pleasant laugh.

“I have a little headache.”

“Then take your medicine.”

“I don’t have any medicine at home. Then I’ll hang up the phone here. Don’t forget to use a condom when watering.”

The phone hung up as suddenly as it was when it came in.

Choi Inseop, who stared blankly at his phone, sat down in front of the computer as if possessed. He was looking for the hidden meaning of the expression “watering” on the Internet, and within 30 seconds he ripped off his head and stood up.

As he climbed up the elevator, Inseop was embarrassed to the point of dying at the glance of the woman he was riding with. Tonight, holding a flowerpot and riding in the elevator of a luxury apartment, this guy must want something.

Upon arriving on the 49th floor, Inseop got off the elevator and greeted the person who glanced at him. Of course, that woman, far from being greeted, quickly pressed the close button and climbed up before Inseop bowed his head.

Inseop sighed and turned away.

No matter how much he thought about it, Inseop had to bring Kate with him because he thought that Lee Wooyeon was misunderstanding him.

Inseop came to the conclusion that Lee Wooyeon was thinking of Kate as a woman after looking up what he meant by giving water. What came after the conclusion was a great shame. He couldn’t raise his face for a while because he thought that Lee Wooyeon had imagined he was with a woman.

No. He was not. He doesn’t do that.

“This is Kate…”

Inseop held out the flowerpot and practiced what he was going to say. No matter how he said it, it seemed that he could not avoid looking stupid. However, it was better to correct the misunderstanding. There was nothing, of course.

Choi Inseop put Kate on his side and rang the bell. The intercom turned on, and after checking his face, he heard the sound of a door opening.

Lee Wooyeon was seen through the gap in the open door. Inseop said, “Oh,” and opened his eyes.

Lee Wooyeon, wearing only one brief, was standing with his wet hair.

“What are you doing?”

It was strange.

A different atmosphere from usual was exuded from Lee Wooyeon. Not knowing exactly what it was, Inseop looked at Lee Wooyeon blankly, then rummaged through his pocket and took out the medicine he had bought at the pharmacy.

“This… is a pain reliever. I didn’t know which one would be better, so I bought several good ones.”

“Did you come all the way here because of a headache medicine?”

“Tomorrow… you have a schedule, so it shouldn’t be a hindrance… ”

Inseop muttered like that and glanced down at Kate, who was held on his side. The purpose of coming here was not for headache medicine, but for Kate. The misunderstandings needed to be cleared up. He should be brave and tell him he was not one of those people…

“Who is outside?”

At that moment, a husky female voice was heard from inside.

Choi Inseop was startled and almost dropped Kate, which he was holding. The woman wore only one slip that exposed her breasts. She was an actress he saw a few times on TV. Inseop quickly bowed his head. It was a situation where he could guess why Lee Wooyeon wore only one brief and opened the door.

“It’s my manager I talked to earlier. Never mind.”

When Lee Wooyeon turned his head to answer, the figure of the woman disappeared inside.

Inseop blushed like a person being beaten in the cheek in the middle of the market, unable to hide his embarrassment. 

“Are you really here for medicine?”

When he thought that Lee Wooyeon had misunderstood him like that, Inseop could not sleep at all.In addition, he was naturally worried because a person who never says that he was sick made a sound of headache while calling. However, looking at the two that were talking now, it was doubtful whether the moaning sound really came from Lee Wooyeon’s mouth.

Inseop had to watch closely with his own eyes to see how the drugs he had barely obtained as there were no pharmacies that opened late had become useless.

Inseop wanted to die.

What misunderstanding did he mean? Lee Wooyeon doesn’t even think about him in the first place. So there was no misunderstanding.

He couldn’t even laugh at his own stupidity anymore.

“What is that?”

Lee Wooyeon pointed to the flowerpot In-seop was holding and asked.

“Nothing… no.”

“Tomorrow’s schedule starts late in the afternoon, right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s fortunate. Inseop, then go in and rest.”

Choi Inseop nodded his head. As the door closed, Lee Wooyeon and the woman’s voices drifted further away.

Inseop, who was holding the flowerpot, had to exhale slowly, feeling the shame rising to the end of his throat. Bitter memories with a sour smell of filth flooded his mind with every breath he exhaled.