Chapter 17

༺ The First Letter (17) ༻

For a while, silence lingered in the air. I couldn’t understand Seria’s intentions.all new stories at n0ve/lbi/n(.)com

Is she angry? After all, I had just brought her into my personal fight since Seria and Emma had nothing to do with each other.

Or maybe it was just a simple question. Since it was Seria, it was quite plausible. She was indifferent to most things except for the sword, and was even clumsy when it came to human relationships.

There was no obvious answer, so I hesitated for a moment, avoiding her gaze. But in the end, what came out of my mouth were my honest feelings devoid of any pretense.

“...... I don’t know either.”

Those words that I uttered with a sigh were my true thoughts.

I honestly didn’t know. Why did I become so obsessed with that letter from the future?

It could be out of a sense of duty, or it might have been a sense of responsibility. However, emotion did not need a motive for them to exist. Perhaps I myself didn’t realize that I was being controlled by those feelings from the moment I heard the news of Emma almost passing away.

Guilt and even rage.

The only rite of atonement that can wash away this guilt I felt towards Emma was to slay that beast.

Revenge.

Of course, it was a foolish decision. There was no way that Emma would simply wake up if I killed that demonic beast.

It was unknown what would happen if we offered a valuable sacrifice to receive a miracle from Arus. But neither Emma nor Emma’s father, nor myself, could afford that.

I’m aware of that fact. I know it’s meaningless.

But how can I pretend otherwise and look away?

What if I had stopped Emma?

How I couldn’t protect her.

Only if I had taken the contents of the letter a bit more seriously.

If I did, this might not have happened.

The scene of that day is still vivid in my mind.

I remember seeing the weeping old man. Emma’s father howled as if all of his hopes had been ripped out of him. That memory overlapped with the kind smile Emma used to wear all the time.

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t painful. No, it still really hurts. My chest aches and a heavy sense of guilt seems to be silently choking my lungs.

I slowly bit my lips and took a sip of the water from the bottle. There was now only a little water left inside of it.

“But it’s true that I came all the way to find the beast. If it attacks the students again, there might be casualties.”

“That’s why you chose me?”

She asked another question while looking at me.

It was probably the question Seria really wanted to ask since she was confident and proud of her skills.

Seria was a skilled swordsman. So, she would be a great help when dealing with the beasts. At least, she would be better than Celine, who was on the same level as me.

Since the word ‘friend’ was unfamiliar, she kept doubting me and drawing out possibilities.

It was a virtue of her, who would later rise to an influential position. But as of today, those doubts were in vain.

I smiled bitterly and shook my head. My plan was not to fight them.

“No way, I know my place. It’s dangerous to deal with demonic beasts with my skills right now. Of course, I have no intention of forcing you to take such a risk either.”

If that had been the case, I would have explained my plans to Seria in advance and politely asked for her understanding. No matter how excellent a swordsman she is, when you are confronting demonic beasts, you’re always putting your life on the line.

The opponents were demonic beasts fuelled with hostility towards humanity. It was natural to lose your life if something wrong happened.

However, Seria was still a little hesitant. She opened her with difficulty.

“...... But, you just said something different before.”

“I want to kill the beast.”

I said so and got up. It was time to get up. When I shook off the dust my trousers, the seeds that had been buried in the fluff flew away.

“But what I want to do and what I can do are two different things. A guy like me must be able to distinguish those things well, if he wants to survive in this world.”

Seria put on a puzzled face at my answer. She closed her eyes and pondered for a moment, then asked me.

“Is it because she is your friend?”

I didn’t say anything since it seemed relatively clear who she was talking about.

She must be talking about Emma. Her presence was essential to explain my obsession with the demonic beasts dwelling in the forest.

Seria identified the cause of my feelings as ‘Emma.’ Of course, my situation was a little more complicated.

There was that love letter from the future. Emma was attacked just as it stated in the letter, and the next assault was scheduled to happen in today’s field practice.

I had no intention of feeling regretful ever again. I’m sick of sitting blankly in front of the hospital bed of my friend who was seriously wounded.

I couldn’t explain all these details to Seria. If she listened to me, she might arrive at the conclusion as Leto or Celine, that I had gone insane.

So I just asked Seria.

“How would you feel?”

“...... ?”

At the returned question, Seria stared at me without saying a word, perhaps a little startled.

Her eyes asked what I meant, so I smiled and asked her again.

“How would you feel if I were to be attacked by a demonic beast? And if I was so seriously injured to the point that you wouldn’t know whether I would die today or tomorrow.”

Maybe Seria realized what I meant at that moment, and she was so immersed in this troublesome question that she was stuttering ‘ah.’

She tilted her head here and there with her eyes closed. It was a cute side that she had not shown until now. Perhaps she had never been so deeply troubled in front of me.

It was such a difficult problem. Seria was pensive for a long time, and then.

“...... I think I will get a little angry.”

However, we had already established a considerable distance from them. No matter how fast the beasts were, the size of the forest was limited. If we were to run like this, Professor Derek will notice soon.

In the meantime, it was enough for both of us to act as a bait to prevent the beasts from attacking other students. That was the gist of my plan.

No one would get hurt, and soon enough this would just become an incident worthy only of being used as a topic of idle banter.

That’s what should have happened.

“Oh, argh...... !”

However, Seria, who was running beside me, groaned and came to a halt.

She grabbed her ankle. That part was somehow familiar. I immediately recalled a scene I had seen a few days ago.

Seria sprained her ankle and couldn’t even move properly.

My head went cold.

No matter how much healing potion is used, the joint fatigue can’t be completely relieved. So it’s dangerous. I’ve said this so many times.

Immediately I almost let out a swear, but Seria’s condition was more important than that. I ran to her with a desperate look.

Seria was sitting down and groaning. A pain that could not be hidden was evident on her face.

“Seria, are you all right?”

“Ahead, go... go ahead, Senior Ian.”

I was stunned for a moment when I heard that. What are you talking about now?

When she said go ahead, it meant that she could no longer run and didn’t want to become a burden.

The problem, however, was that if the injury was so severe that she couldn’t even run, she would have to give up her mobility in battle.

I didn’t even need to explain how much of a disadvantage it would be to have an impaired mobility. In that state, she wants to deal with multiple demonic beasts instead of just one?

It’s impossible. I’m sure she will die. Thus, I screamed in rage.

“Are you crazy? When you can’t use your legs.......”

“It’s my fault.”

Seria replied calmly. So I shut my mouth.

She looked like she had given up. Even so, her hand was fumbling around the hilt of the sword on her waist, as if she would not allow herself to simply die without putting up a fight.

“I must take responsibility for my decisions. I was the one who didn’t listen to you, Senior Ian.”

It made sense.

I warned that using the healing potion would put a strain on the ankle joint. However, it was Seria who ignored my warning and repeated her excessive training.

She was already a swordsman. Of course, she had to take responsibility for what she had done. She was right, I should leave her.

No, is it really her fault?

After all, wasn’t it me who drew her in?

I felt a headache. The images of Emma and her father flashed before my eyes. Regret and guilt welled up.

Along with revenge.

Like a fire being ignited, the flames of emotion engulfed my memories, stained with remorse.

I was desperate. I said I would never feel regret ever again, so I stepped forward, holding my sword.

My eyes were focused straight ahead.

I felt they were gradually approaching.

There was no time now.

“Seria, can you walk?”

“If I put on a splint, somehow... So don’t worry too much.......”

“Leave.”

Seria was speechless at my calm voice. As if she had heard something wrong, she frowned slightly and asked.

“......Yes?”

“Leave first, I will stay behind and act as the bait.”

But the decision has already been made. There was no shaking in my voice. I held my breath as I sensed the presence of the demonic beasts approaching from afar.

Seria, who had been staring at me blankly for a moment, immediately shook her head. It meant that she couldn’t accept that. Her voice became urgent.

“I can’t. It’s my fault! I will take responsibility.......”

“Seria.”

I got up and stood in the direction in which the beasts were approaching.

If I had to fight, I had to attack first. It was the first time I’m fighting for my life. Still, my heart was strangely calm.

It was strange. Ever since I got the letter, everything has been a mess.

Who the hell did I become when I lost my memories? Why did my senses become so sharp, and why is my heart so calm even though this battle could decide whether I’ll live or die?

Leaving behind all the unsolvable questions, I turned around and looked at Seria.

She even forgot about the pain in her ankle while waiting for my answer. I decided to always remember that cold expression.

“From now on, don’t make such expressions like that on your face while you’re talking with your friends.”

Having said that, I rushed forward. The demonic beasts were approaching. I had to secure a suitable position.

I heard Seria calling me from behind, but I ignored her. She too would soon find out that it would be best to run away and inform Professor Derek of the situation.

Before engaging in battle with the demonic beasts, I rummaged through my pocket.

I felt it. The firm sensation of the potion bottle.

I thought of Emma again and her father, who crumbled down with a pale complexion on his face.

The demonic beasts were approaching.