Chapter 337 - 337 The Fear

337 The Fear

The biggest problem wasn’t finding him but figuring out why he had suddenly disappeared. The twisted sick feeling that I felt deep in my gut told me that something unpleasant was about to happen to us. After all that we’ve been through, I hated it whenever I felt insecure, but insecurity was probably the most accurate term to describe the mixed and very messy emotions that filled my heart before bringing tears to my eyes.

Where did he go and why did it have to be now of all times?

I stared at my phone screen as I prayed that he would just give me a call back. My hands trembled and felt very cold as I sat on the sofa in Ace’s living room all alone. The place had never felt so empty and void of life before. Anger welled up inside of me and I let out a loud growl of frustration that no one else heard apart from myself. Ace promised to tell me everything and let me know what was going on after the competition was over. Now that the time had arrived, he just somehow disappeared, and I have not seen or heard from him since.

Rina, you need to be more rational about this…

My mind came up with a long list of reasons or excuses that could possibly explain Ace’s sudden disappearance. He had some urgent business that he had to attend to. He got an urgent call from his father to discuss how things would progress after the announcement that he just made. He might be discussing with his management team members about how to handover the work now that the time had arrived for him to step down. The list of potential reasons just went on and on in my head.

I couldn’t stand to sit down anymore and stood up just to start pacing around in random circles all around the living room. My mind conjured up endless possibilities of what Ace could be doing or where he could be. All of them were just endless speculations on my part and although I knew that those thoughts wouldn’t bring me any closer to Ace, I just couldn’t stop thinking of them.

There was one thought that I wanted desperately to avoid at all costs because I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that it could be true. That might be the real reason why I kept my mind so busy with coming up with other reasons for why he suddenly vanished. The other team members did not seem bothered that Ace did not join in with the celebration. Unlike the rest of them, I was solely focused on the fact that Ace had gone missing.

“It’s not possible…” I muttered to myself repeatedly as I continued pacing around the living room.

I let out a sigh when once again the mocking and sarcastic voice of the Chairman came back to me as he did his best to warn me. No matter what, I couldn’t seem to push his words or the expression on his face when he said them to me completely from my mind.

.....

‘You don’t seem to understand the position that you’re in. If Ace quits his job, he’s going to disappear again and he’s going to leave you. The last time he quit and went away, he left everything and everyone behind without a care…’

That was what he said, and I hated myself for remembering it almost word for word. Back then, I didn’t believe a word of it. Even if a part of me believed what the Chairman said, a larger part of my mind willingly shut down his warning. I trust Ace so much that I honestly thought that it would be possible for him to leave me. The Chairman clearly thought otherwise. Now that I thought about it, I didn’t know any details surrounding the circumstances of Ace’s disappearance years ago.

Why exactly did he leave? Was it purely just to follow his passion?

If what his father said was true, it just seemed like Ace dropped everything and left everyone behind just to go off to pursue his personal passions without a care for other people. I winced just at the thought of him leaving me behind.

That’s not possible, is it?

I flopped down onto the sofa again when I felt like my legs had lost their strength. There was a cold and empty void in my chest that wouldn’t go away. My anger quickly turned into raw fear. The fear of Ace abandoning me and suddenly disappearing somewhere far away where I wouldn’t be able to reach or find him took over me.

Before I knew that was going on, I felt warm wetness sliding down my cheeks and realized that I had started to cry openly. I blinked my eyes and more teardrops streamed down my cheeks. I covered my mouth with my hands and stifled the painful sounds of my cries and sobs. It felt hard to breathe, and I wanted to wail out loud like a baby that had been left behind.

Leaving everything behind without a care just like an irresponsible person didn’t sound anything like the Ace that I knew. However, I just couldn’t find an explanation that could calm the worries and doubts that had started to swallow me up whole. I was at a lost and I felt so alone. My shaky hands seemed to move on their own and soon I was calling my mother.

What am I doing?

I blinked in disbelief at my own weakness. It had been years since I moved to the city, and I started working with the goal of being independent and here I was giving my mother a call when I’m having an emotional breakdown. I quickly cancelled the call while feeling relieved that my mother had not answered my call yet. The last thing that I needed was to cause her more trouble and unnecessary worry. She was shocked enough when I suddenly turned up at her door that last time when I had a fight with Ace.

I raised my hands to wipe away the tears from my eyes. Suddenly, my phone started ringing. I glanced door through my still-blurry vision at the phone screen while expecting the call to be from my mother calling me back after she must have seen my miscall. However, the name displayed on the phone screen wasn’t my mother’s.

–To be continued…