Chapter 79 - The Harsh Reality

Shi Ai could feel that Zhang Min was going to say something she would not like hearing.And that is what happened."If the man you claim to love is what you believe him to be,do you think he is wrong to encourage you to date others?Shi Ai, you are an innocent lamb who wants to mate with an Alpha wolf?To grow up enough to even stand in front of him,you need to grow up emotionally as well.And heartbreak is a part of the emotional growth.But you have sealed your heart in a vault and put Ah Hai's ownership on it.Heck,this could be your only chance to get to know new people.If in the future you decide to be with Ah Hai,with his oppressive aura,do you think you will be able to socialize?Most people in society are sheep who will not come near a wolf."

Before Zhang Min could say more,Shi Ai shouted,"I don't care!Min Min..I don't care if I never to talk to anyone else again if I have him.I only need him to live.He is the reason I have fought death as a kid.An eventuality that I had already accepted.Min Min, I cannot date anyone else.The thought of being with someone else makes me want to throw up.He is the only man for me.The only one I want one and need in my life,Min Min."For the first time,Zhang Min realized the sheer stubbornness that Shi Ai possessed.Just like she had been with Yao Yao,unable to hear anything against her friend,she bad  ow buried her head in the sand.But he had to try at least.In her agitation,Shi Ai had started pacing the room.Quickly grabbing hold of her arm,Zhang Min asked,"Shi Ai..Do you know what happened with those people who dared to drug you?"

Shi Ai frowned at the abrupt change of topic and said,"Min Min,why are we talking about this?"Zhang Min refused to telk her and just said,"Bear with me and answer."Bewildered, Shi shook her head and said,"No,I don't know.I meant to ask but I forgot.But please,Brother Ah Hai may have made them gone missing but he would not kill them so it's ok.They will be back soon."

Zhang Min wasted to shake his head at her naivety but stopped,reminding himself that she was one who had blind faith. "Shi Ai,they may be released but do you think they would live normally?Run your imagination as wild as you can and then know that what your *knight* has done to them is worst than that.A Knight is not just someone who protects.He is also one who kills others without asking.And don't glorify it by saying that it was in service the country.Hebhas alreadynleft the army.What those boys deserved was punishment from the law!"

Shi AI now understood what Zhang Min was saying.He wanted her to know and understand that Ah Hai was a cold man but she had already known that.The first time when she had seen him,he had been with his family but even then he had held himself aloof.He was cold to the bones but still she had seen his kindness.When he helped clean a little girl's wound.When he had endured all the teasing with a smile and even when he had promised to marry her out of pity. "Zhang Min you are only seeing the dark side if him.He may be cold and it could be possible the the way he treated those boys was not lawful but do you think it was unfair or unjust?I know that his hands have blood on them and I still accept that..in fact I am even proud of it because I know that it is not the blood of the innocent."

Shi Ai thought that she had made her point when Zhang Min's lips lifted sideways in a small smile..but what he said next shook her world.

"Very well Shi Ai.Let me agree that you love him and he is right for you.I will also go so far as to say that he is the perfect man with the right mix of coldness and kindness.But are you the perfect woman for him?"

"You say he is cold but kind.Tell me ShiShi,is any child ever born cold?His punishment of those boys is not simply unlawful but bordering on sadism..do you think he was born so ruthless?A man's circumstances are the ones that make his present.And Long Ah Hai's past must be horrific enough to make him what he is today.You say he is a Knight..As a Knight he does not need a delicate princess by his side to protect but a sharp sword who would be arm.And a steady hand.At his side will not just be enemies but also women who who would challenge you to stay by his side.Without exposing yourself to experiences,without entangling yourself in emotional pain,do you think you will have the ability to stand by him.You are someone who is viewing the world through rose colored glasses where everything is right or wrong but it misses the biggest area of life. The greys..In the last few years all you had was one friend Yao Yao and because she was the one who approached you,you latched onto her so much so that you were blind to her faults and deceits.The harm that you caused yourself is visible to all.What do you think will happen when another white lotus like her becomes your friend and you never realize that? Will Ah Hai have to keep saving you to make up for your bad judgement of character?It would have been fine if you wanted to be with someone your age.Then you could have both experienced the life but that is  it possible in this case.As a man who is much older than you,his emotional needs are going to be much different and varied than you think.A May December relationship may sound romantic but it is an illusion.A cold man like Ah Hai needs a partner who can bring him the warmth and soothe his wounds.And a girl who is scared of emotional pain and would think a way out of the first promise he made her give, is not worthy of him."

Shi Ai sat there blankly as every word that Zhang Min uttered,echoed in her head.She realized that for the first time in her life,shenwas being selfish.From the very beginning she had only thought of herself.Not once had she thought that what could she do for the man she loved.Even today,when she thought that he may want to be with someone else instead of wondering about his happiness her first thought had been that she would not release him.She was reating her own promise likena prison for Ah Hai.He had done so much for her without asking for anything in return.And the one time he did ask for a promise she was finding ways to get out of it within a few hours.

Shi Ai never realized when Zhang Min got up from his seat and went to leave the room.Only as the last thing that he said struck a cord with her,"Shi Ai,you are also the perfect woman for him but you need to conquer conquer the biggest issue you have in your life, "The fear of being abandoned..You need to recognize and conquer it.Then and only then can you form a meaningful relationship with Long Ah Hai.If it helps then let me remind you that Ah Hai never abandoned you.Everytime you needed him he was there in the shadows at the back.He could have helped you from the front without hiding,but he wants you to grow.He wants you to be strong to tackle your issues."

After saying what he had to,Zhang Min opened the door to leave but there stood his father with his hands crossed in front of his chest.Seeing him,Zhang Min gave no reaction but came out of the room and slowly closed the door behind him.It takes a great deal of strength to say harsh words to your loved ones.Much more than saying kind and encouraging words.Long Ah Hai's untimely arrival had forced not just Shi Ai to grow up but even Zhang Min.He knew his father would have heard everything because his voice had gotten louder and Zhang Min was tempted to explain himself but he had no strength left.

Dr Zhang stared at his son who stood there with his fists clenched and with a simple nod of his head ordered the boy to follow him.