CH 19

Chapter 19: Sugar Roasted Chestnuts

Hearing Song Yu’s words, Yue Zhishi’s nose started to burn, almost as if it’d just been pinched. The tears he’d tried to hold back for a long time finally started to flow. 

He very stubbornly tried to wipe away his tears with one hand. He very quickly needed to use his other hand, and soon enough even both of his hands weren’t enough to clean his face, the tears falling faster the longer he cried. He turned around and pushed Song Yu, shoving him until his back faced him once again. He placed his forehead onto Song Yu’s back and cried, his shoulders quivering. His tears fell too quickly, so he buried his face into his pillow and tried his best to not make a sound.

Song Yu stayed silent the entire time and let him cry. It soon looked like he ran out of patience, as he flipped over, took off Yue Zhishi’s blindfold and dragged him into his arms. The tone of his voice didn’t sound comforting at all.

“You’re only happy after you dirty my bed.”

Yue Zhishi wetly retorted, “You told me to cry.” 

Song Yu didn’t reply, his entire attitude utterly unskilled at soothing someone. Yue Zhishi buried his head into his shoulder socket and didn’t dare wipe his nose. In between his sobs, he asked, “Won’t your clothes get dirty?”

You really do love asking questions.

Song Yu said in a low voice, “You can wash them if they’re dirty.”

From that point on, Yue Zhishi started crying recklessly and outrageously like a child, his sobs as loud and earthshaking as they used to be. Song Yu quietly lay there with his eyes blank. This entire scene was a little foreign to the two of them currently going through puberty, even though they’d held each other like this often throughout childhood. To a younger Song Yu, Yue Zhishi was like a noisy little toy, following after him as if there was a ribbon connecting them together, like the little duck in Tom and Jerry. But as long as someone held him, he would quiet down and quickly fall asleep.

He was always very quiet and obedient after falling asleep. He would look like a doll, just like how adults always described him.

After growing up, Yue Zhishi was as well-behaved when awake as when he was asleep. He didn’t cry or fuss around randomly and was always understanding and easy to like. Children during their adolescent years were always afraid to cry loudly, almost as if their troubles weren’t worth being considered troubles, as if they weren’t worth mentioning and were insignificant, or as if they would be accused of not knowing what true worries were. It was only in front of Song Yu that Yue Zhishi could place down his burdens and fall apart.

Yue Zhishi couldn’t stop sniffling once his cries slowed down. Song Yu guessed from his understanding of Yue Zhishi that he wanted to say anything, so he listened for his voice. But Yue Zhishi ended up touching Song Yu’s arm and pulled his hand over to his back. With a voice full of tears, he asked a small request. “Can you pat my back?” 

Song Yu didn’t refuse and lifted his hand to pat once. Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked at him. “I didn’t mean only once.”

“Mm,” Song Yu said, his hand starting to move. He asked, “Still feel wronged?”

There were no obstacles in their understanding of each other. Yue Zhishi very quickly understood his question and answered, “No, not particularly. What he said is true, and he probably doesn’t even know why I hit him.” Yue Zhishi suddenly broke into a laugh. “But bullies are meant to be beat up. You probably don’t know this, but he was even kicking people.” 

Song Yu’s mouth tightened. “Don’t participate in these sort of things anymore.” 

“I know.” Yue Zhishi closed his eyes again. He felt like he was in a warm cocoon, and he emptied his mind. He softly opened his mouth and said, “Actually, I’ve almost forgotten how my parents look like.”

Song Yu said, still patting him, “Don’t you have a picture on your bedside table?”

“Pictures can’t move. It’s not the same as the actual people.” Yue Zhishi then asked, “Have you met them before?”

“Yes.” Song Yu thought about their names. His first memory of them was when they got married on a beach with a small arch woven with flowers. There weren’t many guests, and he was one of the page boys. He shouldn’t have been able to remember that moment in time, but it unexpectedly left him with a strong impression.

It was his first experience of a beautiful and happy marriage. 

But most beautiful things shatter too easily.

“They were very good people.” Song Yu kept patting Yue Zhishi’s thin back. “Your mother was very pretty, and her pasta was very delicious. Her voice was very gentle, and she knew to speak a little bit of Chinese. Your father had a very interesting sense of humour. The birthday present he gave me was the most unusual one I’ve ever received.” 

Yue Zhishi shifted against his shoulder, his words fuzzy and sounding as if he was falling asleep. “What present?”

“A map he drew himself, with marks on places he’s visited before,” Song Yu said. “He told me I needed to explore the world.”

He also told him that they could later go together to the places he marked.

“He didn’t give me one.” Yue Zhishi’s arms slightly tightened around him.

Song Yu thought he’d probably wanted to wait until he accomplished something new or reached a new peak in his career before drawing one for him — but Song Yu couldn’t say his thoughts out loud. Little by little, Yue Zhishi fell asleep as Song Yu continued lightly his patting. Song Yu tried loosening his arms, but it was almost like Yue Zhishi could feel it in his sleep and snuggled in closer to make up for any open distance.

Even at Yue Zhishi’s current age, soothing him to sleep still took enormous amounts of effort.

Yue Zhishi slept deeply, and he was alone by himself in the bed when his alarm rang. The afternoon lunch break was very short. Only ten or so minutes had passed when he checked his watch, but he felt completely recharged and full of energy. He stayed under Song Yu’s blanket in a daze for a little while before he rolled and bundled himself inside the entire blanket. He rolled again and unwrapped himself. 

So comfortable.

There were two knocks on the door. Yue Zhishi lifted his head and saw Song Yu standing at the door, wearing a new set of his uniform and his two hands neatly tying his school tie. “Let’s go.”

“Okay, I’ll be quick.”

Standing at the entrance to the house, Yue Zhishi specifically checked his appearance in the mirror. His eye may be swollen, but luckily he had large eyes. He would be too ugly otherwise. His mouth looked slightly better than before, and Yue Zhishi lightly licked the corner.

Such bitter-tasting ointment. 

Song Yu took him to school on his bike. The smell of roasted chestnuts reached him from far away, and as they waited at a red light, Yue Zhishi jumped off and bought a big bag to enjoy as he sat on the rear seat of Song Yu’s bike. Song Yu parked his bike once they reached the school entrance, and he turned his head to see Qin Yan parking his bike as well, a devious, sneaky smile on his face. Qin Yan shook his head speechlessly, as if he’d caught Song Yu in the middle of something good.

“You little bastard stood me up again for your little brother.” 

“Shut up.” Song Yu turned around and got ready to leave, forgetting Yue Zhishi was next to him. He accidentally knocked into him and ended up pushing Yue Zhishi back half a step, the bag of roasted chestnuts in his hand almost falling onto the floor before Yue Zhishi tightly caught it. 

“Ouch.” Yue Zhishi held his elbow, where bruises still remained from the morning’s fight.

Qin Yan acted as if he saw treasure and went to grasp onto Yue Zhishi’s shoulder “Aiyah, let me see, let me see our Le Le’s glorious achievements. You’re so amazing, I didn’t believe what I heard at first.” 

Yue Zhishi looked up at him and seriously said, “This isn’t anything glorious.” 

“Pfft.” Qin Yan couldn’t hold back his laughter, cracking up harder the longer he laughed. “Your little brother’s heart is too big, he even knows fighting isn’t a good thing.”

Song Yu was too lazy to bother with him and said to Yue Zhishi, “Don’t stay in your classroom after your night self-study session ends. If you have homework to do, come to our fifth floor activity room.”

Each floor in the high school buildings had its own activity room, made especially for students who wanted a quiet space for memorisation during self-study times.

“Really?” Yue Zhishi was elated. He grinned, the corner of his mouth throbbing with pain, before he pressed down on his mouth. “I can really go?”

“Of course, you just have to report my name…” Qin Yan wanted to hold onto him, but Yue Zhishi slipped away to Song Yu’s side, leaving his arm dangling in the air. “Ah?”

Song Yu glanced at Yue Zhishi. “Go in first.” 

Yue Zhishi nodded, and obediently walked toward the school doors. He walked only a few steps before he remembered and turned back around to stuff the paper bag of roasted chestnuts into Song Yu’s hand. He said, “I can’t finish this.” He hummed in agreement when Song Yu said, “Wait for me after school,” and quickly left.

The bag felt quite heavy. Song Yu opened it and saw peeled chestnuts, round and golden in colour and still slightly warm.

“Aiyooo, having a little brother must be…”

“Shut up.” 

–

Maybe because he knew he would be heading to the opposite building’s fifth floor after night self-study, but Yue Zhishi was in a fantastic mood the entire afternoon, even though more than five people came over to moan about his face.

He started packing up as soon as self-study finished, surprising Jiang Yufan. Jiang Yufan flew over to his seat with his bag and asked, “You’re not staying longer for homework tonight?”

“Nope.”

Jiang Yufan could clearly hear Yue Zhishi’s mood from that one word. It felt like when people were chatting online, and they added a ‘hehe’ after their words — Yue Zhishi’s answer carried that innate sense of giddiness and happiness. 

“Then let’s leave together. I’m hungry and craving some hot dry noodles, dunno if the stall is open today.”

“But I’m heading over to the fifth floor activity room in the high school building.” Yue Zhishi looked apologetic. “We can walk through the corridor together though.”

So that’s what it was.

Yue Zhishi happily climbed up the stairs to the fifth floor. The activity room was right next to Song Yu’s classroom, and year 3 was coincidentally having a break when he arrived. The corridor was full of people, and Yue Zhishi’s junior high school uniform caught everyone’s eyes.

“Hey, isn’t he Song Yu’s…”

Having been recognised, Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered his black eye and rushed past them with his head lowered. He dived into the activity room and didn’t look at Song Yu’s class at all.

The activity room wasn’t large. It held only eight desks and two small sofas, along with one whiteboard. Yue Zhishi was surprised when he saw another junior high school uniform in the room — she looked familiar, and Yue Zhishi thought she may also be in the same year as him. Yue Zhishi had just sat down near a window when Qin Yan walked in, hand holding a bunch of snacks. Qin Yan dumped the snacks all onto his desk. “Le Le, eat some if you’re hungry.”

“Thank you, Qin Yan gege.”

The bell rang after they’d just spoken a few words, and Qin Yan swiftly left for his classroom. Yue Zhishi looked at the snacks on his desk and found that cheese-flavoured yoghurt once again. He didn’t touch anything else, opening only that carton of yoghurt, and gulped down a big mouthful.

“Classmate.”

Hearing someone speak, Yue Zhishi lifted his head. It was the junior high female classmate he noticed earlier. Yue Zhishi raised his eyebrows. “What is it?”

“You’re Yue Zhishi, right?” She ran over carrying her vocabulary book, looking very friendly. “You helped my class’s Cheng Mingming earlier today. You were so cool.”

Yue Zhishi felt a bit awkward and leaned back against his chair. “It wasn’t actually…”

“Don’t be modest, you’re famous now. A lot of girls in my class are talking about you.”

Seeing she wanted to continue talking, Yue Zhishi tried to change the topic. “How come you’re here? You’re not going home?”

She laughed. “Well, I’m studying. And conveniently waiting for my boyfriend to finish class.” 

Boy, boyfriend?

That girl, seeing Yue Zhishi’s wide eyes, then asked, “What about you?”