CH 27

Chapter 27: A Soft Flame

Yue Zhishi stood behind Song Yu, unable to say a single word.

He’d always gone with the family to see their relatives during Lunar New Year and other festivals. Everyone had always warmly and enthusiastically asked about how his studies were going or how his life was — he’d never once heard such sharp and harsh words. They came out so fiercely, and Yue Zhishi wasn’t used to them at all.

Yue Zhishi realised, after such a long while, everyone had only been pretending to be gentle and kind towards him. In their hearts, he was only a parasite.

He’d been protected too well, to the point he really did consider himself as Song Yu’s real younger brother. He had completely forgotten his true reality of being sent to live under someone else’s roof.

“What outsiders?” Their aunt’s face was flushed with colour. “Your cousin was only thinking of you. You child, you’re just like your father, always liking to sacrifice yourself for others, to raise someone else’s child. Do you think all your money was blown over by some wind?”

Song Yu calmly responded, “All our money came from Uncle Yue. He gave his entire life savings to my dad in a gamble.”

He looked towards his aunt, eyes sharp. “Maybe I’m too young and don’t remember anything, but I just wanted to ask. Back when my father was just starting his business and didn’t have enough cash flow, did uncle help him at all?”

She immediately had nothing to say, and her expression started to look a bit ugly. She finally forced out, “Back… back then we weren’t too well off either.”

“Sure.” Song Yu nodded his head as if he was an inquisitor who had just gotten the answer he’d wanted.

“Since you never helped, then it has nothing to do with you.”

“You!” His aunt stood up in anger, her new daughter-in-law patting her back to help calm her down. Song Yu’s cousin looked at Song Yu in dissatisfaction. “Cousin, only we are a family. Acting like this is too harmful towards family members…”

Song Yu abruptly laughed. It looked like she didn’t expect that reaction at all and couldn’t finish the words she wanted to say. When Yue Zhishi looked at Song Yu, his face was even icier than before.

“The word ‘family’ sounds so cheap coming out of your mouths.”

This was the first time Yue Zhishi has ever seen such a harsh, scathing part of Song Yu’s personality. Song Yu held his wrist and led him out of there.

This was completely out of Yue Zhishi’s expectations. He’d thought Song Yu would walk ahead by himself like he usually did, with Yue Zhishi following behind him.

Maybe it was because Song Yu guessed he couldn’t move — he had no way of removing himself from such an unbearable situation.

They didn’t speak the entire way back to Grandpa’s hospital room. Yue Zhishi didn’t really want to talk. The unwashed apple sat heavily in his hand, and when Song Yu entered the room, he gave his grandpa his premeditated excuse, saying the outside bathroom was also under repair with no way to get in. 

Grandpa was fully absorbed in his manga. He’d never wanted to eat some fruit anyway, so he wasn’t the slightest bit suspicious about Song Yu’s words. His reading glasses perched on his nose, and he waved Yue Zhishi over to his side. “Quickly come, read with me. This bit is really interesting.”

Yue Zhishi nodded and went to sit on the side of the hospital bed. He eventually ended up lying down next to Grandpa while they read the manga together. If this was any other usual day, he would’ve happily, enthusiastically introduced every single character and their abilities to Grandpa. But he wasn’t able to find any interest in the manga at all, and it was like squeezing out toothpaste talking to him — only one sentence for every question asked.

After ten minutes, their aunt and new cousin finally sat outside for long enough and also came into the room. The two of them acted as if nothing had happened, talking to them with their faces wreathed with smiles. “Xiao Yu’s here too. You should eat dinner with us later tonight, there’s a decent restaurant nearby.”

“Your parents will come by later too.” Their aunt looked particularly at Yue Zhishi, the corners of her mouth hoisted high and supporting her uplifted cheeks. “Le Le, right, why don’t you come too? What do you like to eat? How about hot pot?”

It felt like there was something clogging up Yue Zhishi’s throat. He gazed at their aunt, his eyelashes lightly trembling. 

“He won’t be going,” Song Yu said decisively in a slightly icy voice. “He can’t eat outside things.”

Grandpa took care of Yue Zhishi for a little while, so he knew about his allergy. “That’s right, Le Le needs to be careful about what he eats.” He rubbed Yue Zhishi’s head. “Just wait until my arm’s better. I’ll make some barbecue ribs for you. Didn’t you really like to eat my ribs before?”

“Yes.” Yue Zhishi raised his head from the bed and smiled at Grandpa.

There were many times Yue Zhishi didn’t understand how the world of adults worked.

Just like how, at this very moment, he didn’t understand how the two of them could pretend nothing had happened despite having their words and faces torn to such ugly pieces by Song Yu earlier. They still continued to talk freely, faking a beautiful, friendly family relationship, as if they held no grudge at all. 

His chin pushed into the bed’s pure white blanket, that pair of large yet beautiful eyes looking at the aunt easily chatting away before they turned to the gentle and submissive new cousin-in-law. At the end, maybe because his eyes started to burn, but he closed them for a little while. When he opened his eyes again, he just happened to meet Song Yu’s gaze. 

Yue Zhishi couldn’t quite describe Song Yu’s mood at that moment. He was frowning, and his expression seemed to be a bit more complicated than just being slightly upset. Yue Zhishi tilted his head and didn’t change his expression at all, looking as he was acting spoiled towards Song Yu.

Good thing Song Yu was here — he covered Yue Zhishi like a suit of armour. 

Only then could Yue Zhishi naturally, instinctively hide away. 

He’d always wanted to be someone courageous, willing to face any difficulties head on like every single protagonist in a manga series. But sometimes, even he needed to find a place to hide.

“Grandpa.” Song Yu stood up from the sofa. “I’ll take Le Le home now.”

Hearing his nickname rather than his full name, Yue Zhishi lifted his head, eyes slightly surprised.

“You’re going back so early.” Grandpa was a bit unhappy and lifted his head to touch the top of Yue Zhishi’s head. “You don’t want to play a bit longer, Le Le?”

“I…”

Song Yu lied for the second time without a single change on his face. “He still has tutoring lessons.” He then added, “It’s almost time for high school entrance exams.”

Grandpa didn’t force them to stay after hearing those words. He nagged a few words, saying while studies were important, they needed to take care of their bodies too. He even told them to come visit him more often if they weren’t too busy.

Yue Zhishi only nodded and didn’t say too many things. He didn’t really want to do much in front of their aunt, just in case she thought he went overboard and acted as if he really was trying to be part of their family.

Naturally, she sent them off with a bunch of polite greetings. She completed her role to its fullest, walking them all the way to the elevator without a single shred of unkindness.

As they left the hospital, Yue Zhishi only then realised that she actually didn’t know he had been just behind the corner, that she didn’t know he’d heard everything she said. Song Yu blocking him from coming out was actually to save his last bits of dignity. 

Song Yu didn’t speak as they got on the taxi. He looked very unhappy.

Yue Zhishi possessed a very subtle, almost extraordinary ability to perceive Song Yu’s moods that no one else had. It was normally very hard to know what Song Yu was feeling — he very rarely changed his facial expressions, and since he also didn’t speak much, he was essentially like playing an emotion recognition game in hard mode. But Yue Zhishi was always able to detect Song Yu’s feelings from the most delicate of changes.

It was most likely from the changes in the atmosphere. 

It was early spring, and this city’s spring season was always exceptionally lush. The reflection of Song Yu’s face on the car window rested in the midst of a large swath of greenery, and he stared ahead at the car windshield, thinking of Yue Zhishi’s pale face and bewildered eyes as he lay on the hospital bed. 

Ever since he was young, Yue Zhishi had never faced complex people or things. Sometimes he was so naive there was no way he would survive in this world, always directly and straightforwardly questioning, expressing or displaying his emotions — but his type of directness was as harmless as a soft flick of flame, the flare and heat muted and gentle.

Song Yu wanted to say something.

He kept feeling he should say something.

Yue Zhishi shifted closer towards Song Yu, arm touching against arm, and the back of his hand accidentally brushed against Song Yu’s.

If this was a usual day, Song Yu would’ve said why are you crowding so close against me, or maybe he would’ve turned and glanced at him, or maybe he would’ve done nothing at all and continued to stare outside the window.

But today was different. Song Yu, who Yue Zhishi thought was very angry, lifted his hand and wrapped it around Yue Zhishi’s hand that had accidentally touched his. He didn’t say anything, and neither did he turn his head around.

The warmth of his palm said everything he wanted to say.

Suddenly, Yue Zhishi thought of Cotton Candy.

He regretted attending that winter camp. He wanted to personally see how Song Yu had looked like when he’d found Cotton Candy. Had it been just like this? Without a single word, he’d went and held onto Cotton Candy’s paw.

And then Cotton Candy had followed him home.

–

Once they returned home, Yue Zhishi worked on his homework and reviewed his lessons straight until 9:50pm, tiring himself out until he couldn’t think of anything else. He hadn’t eaten much when they had dinner earlier, so now he was a bit peckish and wanted to find something to eat downstairs. The house may not have everything, but there was never a short supply of food.

Yue Zhishi went into the kitchen and saw Lin Rong’s sticky note attached to the fridge. It said: [There are cinnamon rolls in the oven, warm them up before you eat.]

He gave up on the fridge and headed to the oven. He was too lazy to heat up the rolls, so he directly opened the oven door and pulled out a wheat-free cinnamon roll.

It was already warmed up. Was it gege?

The icing on top of the roll smelled amazing, and Yue Zhishi stood there next to the countertop and slowly ate the roll piece by piece. Even though the kitchen was essentially a half-open kitchen style, his entire person was tucked into a corner and was completely hidden by the fridge. 

Yue Zhishi wanted another roll after finishing one, so he pulled out another piece. He’d just taken one bite when he heard the door open. Lin Rong and Song Jin had just come home.

He’d just had that realisation when Lin Rong said, full of anger, “Let me tell you, I’ve held in my anger for a long time already. If you need to visit your brother in the future, you go ahead and go — I’m not going anymore. Today’s dinner pissed me off way too much.” 

Song Jin sounded a bit helpless. “Don’t be so angry, your face is all flushed.”

“From my makeup!” Lin Rong threw her bag onto the sofa. “Dad already slipped and had an accident. They couldn’t even take him to a nicer hospital, they just had to wait until you gave them some money before they signed the surgery papers. What were they thinking? Were they not worried after Dad fell? He’s already so old, how could he be okay after a fall? They’re seriously pissing me off!” 

“And your sister-in-law. I get so annoyed every time she speaks — it’s only ever talk about money coming out of that mouth. Do we owe her a few million or something?”

Song Jin massaged her shoulders. “That’s just the way she is. Don’t hold it against her.”

Yue Zhishi didn’t understand why he didn’t just walk out. Maybe because of that morning, but he subconsciously shrunk back behind the fridge.

“And that new daughter-in-law of theirs. What kind of words was she saying during dinner…”

After hearing some noise, Song Yu came downstairs as well. He saw his mother full of righteous anger and didn’t ask about it. Unexpectedly, a large pot suddenly came and fell directly onto his head.

“Song Yu!”

Song Yu paused in the middle of stairs and looked at his mom after hearing her call his name.

“I’m telling you now. If you bring home that kind of daughter-in-law, I’m going to break your legs.” 

Song Yu didn’t have much of a reaction to his mother’s rare vicious words and lifted his legs to start walking again. Lin Rong continued, “Good thing they didn’t say anything directly in front of Le Le, or else I really would’ve started yelling at them.”

Yue Zhishi silently thought, well, I’ve pretty much heard everything already.

Her voice lowered, and she started to sound a bit heartbroken. “I felt so uncomfortable as I heard them talk about Le Le. What do they mean by ‘be careful about raising an ungrateful wolf’ — are those words a human will actually say? After so many years, I’ve long thought of him as my own son. Just think — such a small little thing following around after me. It wasn’t easy for him to grow up.”

“I know,” Song Jin sighed. “You cried every time he was sick.”

“I really didn’t feel comfortable today. After hearing them talk, I thought about how one day Le Le will leave me after he’s all grown up. I’m upset just thinking about it.” She looked at Song Jin again. “I was so happy when he wanted to call me mom when he was younger.” She hit Song Jin a few times. “But it’s all your fault, you didn’t let him call me that.”

Song Jin grabbed her hand and laughed. “It would’ve been too good for you. You already gained a little baby for free, and to even have him call you mom? Did you think about how your son or Olivia would’ve felt?”

Song Yu walked past with the words ‘I have no interest in this conversation’ written all over his face and went to find some water. Cotton Candy appeared out of nowhere and snuggled up to his legs, bouncing up and down and looking as if he wanted Song Yu to pick him up.

Lin Rong sighed. “Such a pity. Too bad Yue Yi didn’t give birth to a daughter. It would’ve been so nice if Le Le was a girl. He’s already so obedient and pretty. Where can you find a girl as good as him nowadays? He could’ve directly been our daughter-in-law, and would’ve been a hundred times better than the one we had dinner with today.” She then said to Song Yu without skipping a beat, “Right, Xiao Yu?” 

Song Yu’s back was facing towards them, and he coolly said, “As long as you guys are happy.”

He lazily walked towards the fridge, pulled open the door and grabbed out a bottle of soda water. He then closed the door. He did not expect to see Yue Zhishi hiding in the corner behind the fridge, still holding half a cinnamon roll and staring at him with his large eyes. Yue Zhishi stood there a bit awkwardly and gave him a slightly foolish smile. 

Song Yu hadn’t even drank his water yet when he forcefully choked.

The author has something to say:

Le Le: What do you mean by ‘as long as you guys are happy’?

Little Jade: …………