CH 34

Chapter 34: Graduation Memento 

Yue Zhishi suspected that when he prayed for the protective talisman, someone else prayed for rain. 

In June, Jiang City’s rainfall was pretty much measured by the East Lake. Locals would always say: it rained several East Lakes again today. Just by measuring with his eyes, Yue Zhishi conservatively guessed that at least six lakes rained over the two days of college entrance exams. Six was a good number — gege’s exams must have definitely gone well.

Song Yu’s exam venue was in a very low area of the city, and the water flooded the area until the sunken sports ground almost became a lake. Yue Zhishi sat in Lin Rong’s car, watching the time. There were less than five minutes remaining.

The rain ran heavily down the car windows. Yue Zhishi couldn’t see the outside clearly, so he secretly lowered the window a bit. Parents blocked the school entrance with their umbrellas, and the rain poured through the crack in the window, wetting Yue Zhishi’s hair.

Not long after, he saw a tall figure carrying an umbrella in the distance, and it weaved through the packed crowd of parents to walk in their direction.

“Gege’s coming.” Yue Zhishi opened the car door as soon as he finished speaking and waved at Song Yu. The heavy rain easily entered the car, and Yue Zhishi, who was only wearing a short-sleeved shirt, shivered.

Song Yu clearly walked a bit faster and bent over to enter the car. He closed the door, locking the rain outside.

The seats were all covered by Yue Zhishi’s study materials, so he hurriedly cleared them away to make room for Song Yu.

“Your dad’s still in a meeting.” Lin Rong pulled out a neatly folded dry towel from her large tote bag and handed it over to Song Yu. “We’ll meet up with him later at dinner. What do you want to eat?” Even though she asked, she knew there was an eighty percent chance Song Yu would say he didn’t care. 

Song Yu placed the drenched umbrella at his feet. “Let’s get crayfish.”

Hearing this, Yue Zhishi was happier than anyone else. “I want to eat crayfish too.” 

Lin Rong was a bit surprised — she didn’t think Song Yu would want to eat that. “Okay, then I’ll let your dad know.”

They drove to the restaurant, the rain growing heavier until it even started to thunder. Yue Zhishi’s fear of thunder could be entirely seen by his physical reaction: they had just heard the bang of thunder when he started to tremble. This habit wasn’t too bad when he was younger, but it embarrassed him after growing up. He tried his best to hold himself back from trembling. Everyone was originally chatting in the car, but because Yue Zhishi was too afraid, he’d already left the conversation topic.

Song Yu was aware of this, so he pulled out his exam bag and put it in between them, murmuring, “The thing you gave me was really useful.”

Yue Zhishi was very quickly distracted. He turned his head to look at Song Yu’s face and very quietly asked, “Really? Do you think your exams went well?”

Song Yu nodded.

Yue Zhishi very quickly cheered up, but it didn’t last very long. A peal of thunder struck right as he opened his mouth, and he shuddered again, his voice slightly trembling. “That’s really good….”

Song Yu felt he looked a bit cute like this. He lowered his eyes and leaned back into his seat.

Yue Zhishi put on a pair of over-ear headphones and played some rock music, and then he picked up the big bag he’d placed in the corner, placing it onto the left side of his seat. He turned around half his body and started to dig into it, searching for something with almost his entire body.

He first pulled out a small purple bento box and put it directly onto Song Yu’s leg after he turned back around. He very quickly flipped back to his bag and grabbed a bottle of soda water, giving this also to Song Yu.

He never stopped moving and kept silent the entire time, as if he was a very busy mime actor. Song Yu opened the bento box — pieces of mango and strawberry and peeled grapes and lychees rested inside with some sparkling sugar syrup drizzled on top. It all looked very delicious.

Yue Zhishi turned back to him and handed him a fork. Very loud music came from his headphones, and he looked like he’d forgotten other people could hear him speak. He pantomimed cutting the pieces of fruit, and then finally pointed at himself. 

As they waited for the red light to turn green, Lin Rong happened to see them eating the fruit. “Le Le prepared that. Look at how attentive he was, he even removed the grape seeds.”

Song Yu ate a grape — it was very sweet. Yue Zhishi also held onto another small fork, piercing a piece of mango and stuffing it into his mouth. He then speared a piece of lychee, leaned forward and sent it to Lin Rong’s mouth.

The three of them shared the little box of fruit, with Yue Zhishi eating the most to the point he started to worry about his appetite when they finally sat down in the restaurant. Song Jin arrived as the first courses of entrees were being served, his button up shirt slightly damp and him looking like he’d rushed over. Lin Rong kindly took out a silk handkerchief from her bag for him to use. 

When the crayfish arrived, Yue Zhishi abruptly remembered — they had also eaten crayfish when gege finished his high school exams. He felt something like a sense of ritual, and this made him feel slightly better.

He was looking forward to Song Yu peeling the crayfish for him like he did three years ago, but because the motherly figure of Lin Rong was there, there was no problem at all with Yue Zhishi’s supply of crayfish meat. It didn’t need to wait for Song Yu’s peeled crayfish.

Everyone wasn’t too worried about Song Yu’s grades. They enthusiastically planned their upcoming family holiday after Yue Zhishi’s high school exams, with Song Jin suggesting a trip to Europe while Lin Rong preferred Egypt. The two of them listed out the advantages for their respective choices for Song Yu to decide, but he said he wanted to go to Japan.

Yue Zhishi stuffed a grape tomato into his mouth, the juice exploding in his mouth after he bit into it. His entire being felt like that after hearing Song Yu’s suggestion.

He repeatedly nodded, swallowing the tomato. “I want to go to Japan too. I want to go to Akihabara.”

What cultural heritage, what beautiful scenery — they all failed in the face of the Song family’s two youngest members’ wishes. Having decided on the location, Song Jin called his assistant to book travel tickets and hotel reservations. The entire family hotly discussed the upcoming itinerary, and only Song Yu, who’d proposed the country, kept silent.

They didn’t stay outside too long after finishing their food, since Yue Zhishi still needed to continue his studies. After returning home, Yue Zhishi reviewed his wrong answers until midnight. He was slightly dozing off when his phone vibrated twice, startling him awake, and he glanced at it to see a message from Jiang Yufan asking him how to do a particular question.

Yue Zhishi had coincidentally just reviewed a similar question, so he very quickly flipped to the wrong question and took a photo of it before sending it across.

The group chat for their class was always very lively. Yue Zhishi had never participated in it, but he  pressed it open as he left his chat with Jiang Yufan. He scrolled through the chat history and realised everyone was kicking up a fuss — a girl from class 7 had gifted her name badge to a boy in their class. Someone had seen it and started joking about it in the group chat, saying that boy was no longer single.

[I heard you two grew up together? Lived right across from each other?]

[This is completely like a fictional plot]

[When can I start a sweet, sweet early dating relationship…]

Yue Zhishi was a bit confused, so he exited the chat to ask Jiang Yufan.

[Le Le: What does giving a name badge mean?]

Jiang Yufan hadn’t immediately replied when he’d sent over the question earlier, so Yue Zhishi had thought he’d fallen asleep. He didn’t expect Jiang Yufan to reply so excitedly at this topic. 

[Fan Zi: Isn’t your name on the name badge? In our school, from a very long time ago, giving away your name badge to someone else at graduation meant that person’s very important to you. People might also ask for other people’s badges, and it’s a good sign if they can get it. If the other person refuses to give away their badge, then that means “I don’t like you at all.”]

So Peiya had a tradition like this. Yue Zhishi stared at his phone screen for a while and then asked a question Jiang Yufan found really strange.

[Can guys give their badges to other guys?]

A moment later, Jiang Yufan replied, [There’s no rule saying you can’t. What, don’t tell me you’re going to give it to me, don’t give me something so precious. A basketball’s enough.]

Yue Zhishi was amused and responded with a sticker. 

He was still a bit sleepy. He wanted to drink something cold, so he went downstairs by himself.

It was very late, downstairs completely pitch black. Too lazy to turn on the lights, he stuck to the walls and groped his way into the kitchen to open the fridge, grabbing out some iced kiwi juice. He drank a cup of the sour juice, the chill shocking awake his brain. He poured another cup and went back upstairs with it in his hand.

Song Yu’s door was always tightly shut, but it was slightly cracked open today, revealing a glimmer of light from inside. Yue Zhishi couldn’t help but draw closer, doing something out of his own expectations.

“You’re still not asleep?”

Song Yu lifted his head and looked at his door when he heard Yue Zhishi’s voice. He saw Yue Zhishi wear a large, cream blue t-shirt and a pair of white shorts, standing at the door holding a glass cup.

“Why haven’t you gone to bed?” Song Yu asked him the same question in return. “You’re not going to school tomorrow?”

“I was just doing some review. Would you like some juice?”

Not hearing a refusal, Yue Zhishi went inside. Song Yu was lying on his bed, watching a new documentary. It looked very old, a foreigner wrapped in heavy clothes standing at the foot of a snowy mountain as he explained something. That area looked very cold, just like this room with the air-conditioning set to a very low temperature. 

Song Yu didn’t directly drink the juice after he took it. He placed the cup onto the drawer next to the bed. All the lights in his room were already turned off, with only the projector’s coldly bluish grey light shining in the room. The light fell onto Song Yu’s face and turned his features even handsomer. 

Yue Zhishi yawned, Song Yu shooing him back to his room, but he sat onto Song Yu’s bed and took off his slippers. “I want to watch this for a while.”

“You won’t like it,” Song Yu very directly, very coolly said.

“I’ll like it.”

If you like it, then I’ll like it. 

Song Yu’s bed was always neatly arranged, the dark grey, striped bedsheets consistently looking cool and not particularly warm. But once they were messed up, the bed quilt pushed aside, his bed became exceptionally soft and comfortable looking. 

Yue Zhishi initially just sat on the side of the bed, but then he later placed his legs on top. A little while later again, Song Yu didn’t even know how, but he’d moved to rest next to him, even carefully covering his own stomach with a corner of the blanket.

Song Yu wanted to ask why he lay down, but Yue Zhishi turned his face to him, the bridge of his nose and his eyelashes shimmering under the light of the projector. He very softly asked, “Can you give me a pillow to lie on? Gege.”

He always said gege with a voice much softer than his usual voice. He was clearly a boy who’d already changed his voice, but sometimes, his tone would sound a little bit childlike. 

Song Yu gave him a pillow, but told him he must go back to his room to sleep after ten minutes.

Yue Zhishi agreed very readily and then started to earnestly watch the film. In a little while, he asked which mountain is this, and then in a little more while, he asked why are they climbing towards the top of the mountain, are they trying to survey something? As soon as he started asking more questions, Song Yu felt he was purposefully trying to distract him from remembering the time.

But he wouldn’t be fooled.

“You ask a lot of questions.”

Yue Zhishi paused, his eyes focused on the scene in front of him, and slowly blinked before he burrowed his entire person into the blanket until only a pair of eyes could be seen.

Song Yu knew he was about to start trying to be sneaky, so he started planning on throwing him out of his room. But before he could start scolding, Yue Zhishi explained in a muffled voice, “Your aircon’s too low.”

“You won’t be cold if you go back to your room.” 

“Why are you always trying to get rid of me?” Yue Zhishi curiously raised his head to look at him, his gaze innocent. He simply wanted to know the answer.

Song Yu hesitated. “Because I like being by myself.”

Yue Zhishi no longer spoke — he felt like Song Yu was lying. No one liked being alone. Even if they did, it would only be temporarily.

Maybe it was because he had yet to find the someone he liked to have around. If that person appeared, he probably wouldn’t be like this — he would smile, would look forward to that person staying beside him and would even give the things he considered important to her. 

Like that name badge.

Yue Zhishi thought about Jiang Yufan’s words, and some strange emotions stirred in his heart. Recently, those emotions kept rising in his heart, making him feel uncomfortable. He tilted his head and coincidentally saw a metal name badge placed on the bedside table, and it glowed underneath the projector’s luminous ray of light.

“Gege.” Yue Zhishi took that name badge and held it in the palm of his hand. “Can you give this to me?”

Song Yu frowned. “Why do you want mine?”

“Don’t you have two?” Yue Zhishi tightly held onto it, widening his eyes in plea. “Give me one, as a memento.” 

In Song Yu’s eyes, Yue Zhishi currently looked exactly like he was asking for a little dolphin pendant at the aquarium, a toy from the set meal at McDonald’s or to collect cards as he played games. There was no difference.

Turning his face away, Song Yu set the air-conditioning a bit higher and brought his attention back to the documentary.

“Up to you.”

How careless. Yue Zhishi thought — he so easily gave away something other people found precious.

Yue Zhishi lowered his head to look at the badge resting in his palm and found himself very lucky. If he’d looked for him a bit later asking for the badge, this tiny little thing might’ve already been carelessly given away by Song Yu, especially since so many people liked him.

But when he imagined someone else keeping this name badge, Yue Zhishi once again appreciated Song Yu’s carelessness.

He hadn’t needed to beg for it for too long.

The memento was like a pacifier: the little child was much more peaceful after getting it no matter if they were in the aquarium or in bed. After giving him the badge, Song Yu was able to peacefully finish his documentary episode.

When the next episode was about to start, his attention turned to the person next to him, and he realised Yue Zhishi was actually asleep. His head was askew, curly hair messy and lips in a slight pout — he looked truly tired. His chest lightly rose up and down, and yet his hand was clenched around that name badge.

Song Yu tried calling him awake to get him to go back to his room, but it was useless. Calling him awake with a louder voice or forcefully pushing awake felt very cruel, so he gave up and didn’t do anything else.

His phone vibrated as Qin Yan sent him a message. Yue Zhishi didn’t wake up, but he subtly shifted. Song Yu very quickly took up his phone, and for the first time, went to read his friend’s messages without a single delay. 

[Qin Yan: you’re not coming despite us booking out the internet cafe for a whole night, can’t believe you’re not coming out to party after college exams. handsome guy with social anxiety, what are you doing at home.]

[Qin Yan: don’t tell me you’re sleeping.]

The constant vibrations were really annoying, so Song Yu first turned on his phone’s do not disturb mode before replying a single word.

[Song Yu: Mn.]

He placed his phone to the side and lowered himself down, laying down in bed, but still making sure to keep a distance between him and Yue Zhishi.

There was a light smell of kiwi in the blanket, sour yet sweet. Song Yu didn’t drink the juice he’d been given, and yet it felt like he’d already tasted it.

Dawn was just breaking when Yue Zhishi woke up. He felt he was in a strange place, and yet it was very comfortable — he slightly opened his eyes and realised he was sleeping while hugging Song Yu’s back, his arms wrapped around Song Yu’s lean waist and cheek resting against his shoulder blades.

They were both lying on their sides like two bananas that’d been broken away, tightly clinging to each other. 

Yue Zhishi’s heartbeats suddenly sped up. He took back his hands, forgetting to worry about whether he’d wake Song Yu up. His movements weren’t small, and Song Yu ended up moving.

He didn’t wake up, but he flipped his body over and pulled into his arms the Yue Zhishi whose heart was beating too quickly. He hugged him as naturally and easily as if he was wrapping his arms around a pillow.

The shape of their bodies fit together just right. Yue Zhishi’s cheek snuggled into Song Yu’s neck, and their bodies were twined together. His heart violently jumped, as if it wanted to burst through his chest and jump into Song Yu’s chest which was very close by. 

The projector hadn’t been turned off the entire night, the documentary unexpectedly that long. 

Just like the flow of time at this current moment. 

The school asked the high school year three students to return to school and clean their desks the day after college exams finished. Song Yu’s alarm was the same as before the exams, ringing at 6am. He peeled open his eyes and turned it off with some difficulty, his bed empty. He’d initially wanted to continue sleeping for a bit, but he thought for a while and forced himself to get out of bed.

The projector was turned off, and the full cup of juice sitting on the nearby drawer had also disappeared without leaving behind a single trace. 

He was bent over folding the blanket when something fell out and hit the floor. Song Yu glanced at  — it was his name badge, so he bent over again to pick it up.

He said all the right things when he wanted it, and yet he didn’t look after it after he got it.

The door was abruptly shoved open, and a flustered Yue Zhishi came in, looking like he was in a very big hurry. He swallowed and said, “I, I left something.”

Song Yu pretended to not know anything, turning around and asking, “What?”

Yue Zhishi really was in a rush. He dashed straight to the bed Song Yu had just made, and even though he made it very messy, Song Yu was unusually calm and not even the slightest bit angry. He actually felt a little bit pleased. He waited until he realised Yue Zhishi was truly panicking, and then he held it out. “It’s here.”

Yue Zhishi very obviously relaxed after looking into the palm of Song Yu’s hand. He took the item back.

“You lost it so quickly. Looks like you didn’t really need it.” 

Yue Zhishi didn’t want Song Yu to know how agitated he’d been when he slipped out earlier, so he   tranquilly accepted Song Yu’s sarcastic remark. He very obediently said, “I won’t lose it again.” In order to prove himself, he immediately pinned the badge onto his uniform, right next to his own, and then flew out the door to head to his morning self study session.

Song Yu turned around, stared at the bed Yue Zhishi messed up, and after looking at it for a while, decided not to make it again. He went downstairs for breakfast.

Lin Rong made kiwi juice again, and thinking Song Yu might not like it, didn’t pour him a cup. She didn’t expect Song Yu to ask for it out of his volition and even drink an extra serving.

“It’s pretty nice.” Song Yu praised Lin Rong’s handmade drinks for the first time, and this made her particularly happy.

The high school year students returned back to school with an air of relaxation that infected even the security guards at the school entrance. Those who used to make things difficult for students looked kind and amiable today. ‘We’ve graduated’ was scrawled on the blackboard in the classroom, and Song Yu took a brief look at it when he entered the room, the reality of it not yet hitting him.

The classroom was very rowdy, all of his surrounding classmates animatedly planning their holidays. The class monitor, holding the class roster, went around and got everyone to separately confirm whether they were attending the gratitude dinner party for their teachers. In order to reduce the workload of the cleaning staff, the school had strongly prohibited the celebratory tearing of books a long time ago — even though in reality, there weren’t that many students who truly did want to shred their books.

Many people immediately took all their books and started to sell them.

The bags of books they lugged out one by one were the heavy, yet youthful hearts they’d strained for so many days.

Qin Yan had arrived earlier and had pretty much finished clearing all of his things. He nonchalantly grabbed a chair and sat next to Song Yu. “I’ll help you?”

Song Yu shook his head, saying he was fine. 

“Why didn’t you let auntie come with you? My dad just left with all my stuff.” Qin Yan held onto Song Yu’s shoulder. “What a good friend I am to stay back with you.”

Song Yu was too lazy to put on a comedic show with him and silently packed away his study materials. There was some noise at the classroom door, and Qin Yan bumped Song Yu’s shoulder once, hinting at him to raise his head. Song Yu drew his eyebrows together when he saw quite a few girls with one leading the way. The rest of the girls followed her in.

“It’s a pretty lady.”

Song Yu looked at Qin Yan. “Where.”

Qin Yan, “……”

The girl right in the centre was very beautiful. She had a heavy sweep of long, jet-black hair and was slightly shy. The rest of the girls surrounding her almost had to push her in with them. Qin Yan whispered she was the year flower in high school year two. Song Yu knew nothing about year two, let alone who the year flower was, and only thought she looked just like Qin Yan’s type.

That morning as soon as he arrived at school, even before he’d gone up to his classroom, Song Yu had already been intercepted by a girl with a ponytail. She smiled very brightly and very confidently and had said lines similar to those in a campus romance drama. Song Yu kept his distance and listened to it all, before he rejected her graduation gift and confession.

She’d fairly stubbornly asked the reason for his refusal, but Song Yu had said there was no real reason and continued upstairs.

But after he managed to escape from her, he’d paused at the entry to the third floor corridor, silently standing there for a while. 

The few girls who’d just came in were even more eye-catching than the one earlier that morning. There were already a lot of people in the classroom packing away their things, and seeing this scene, they all started to follow along and create a fuss.

Even though Qin Yan looked a bit scatterbrained, in reality, he was someone who knew what was truly acceptable. He was usually all noisy and disorderly in front of Song Yu, randomly teasing this facially paralysed guy, but at this moment, he didn’t make a single noise, only leaning over to help Song Yu take out his books from inside his desk.

“What’s this, it’s so big.” Qin Yan forcefully pulled out the handmade sketchbook Song Yu had previously stuffed at the very bottom. He flipped through it. “It’s just white paper.” 

Song Yu doubtfully looked at him. At seeing the sketchbook, his first reaction was to grab it back. “You can’t throw this away.”

“I didn’t say I was going to throw it away?” Qin Yan found it strange how tense he was, as if it was something very important. But there was nothing in it at all, not even a name — it looked brand new.

“Is this one of those gravure photo albums? Leather cover too, must’ve been super expensive. Is it…”

“Shut up.”

Class 9’s year flower was pushed all the way to the front of Song Yu’s desk, an exquisite gift bag from a luxury brand in her hands. It was like Song Yu didn’t hear the commotion at all, focusing exclusively on tidying.

The year flower herself didn’t speak. Next to her, her friend spoke first. “Song Yu, our Yaoyao has something to say to you.” She then pushed the girl called Yaoyao again, urging her to speak.

At this point, Qin Yan started to feel embarrassed for them.

“Senior Song Yu, I’ve liked you for a very long time,” the girl called Yaoyao shyly said. She held out the gift bag in her hands. “I searched for a gift for a very long time, I hope you like it. Before… before you are still studying for the exams, so I didn’t dare speak out in case I disturbed you. But now that you’re graduating from Peiya, I might not have anymore chances if I don’t say it now.” 

Song Yu didn’t reach out and accept the gift. The rest of the classroom was quietly observing and gossiping, and this made her friends very unsatisfied.

Yaoyao didn’t really mind. She plucked up her courage and asked again, “If you don’t mind, can we give it a try?” 

Song Yu had tidied up half of his things when he saw a box sitting inside his drawer. It was the box Yue Zhishi had made last time for his hand-painted plaster patches. Compared to the gift bag in the girl’s hands, this box looked much more childish and inexpensive, but Song Yu gazed at it for a very long time.

Seeing him in a daze, Yaoyao’s friend picked up the gift bag in her hands and placed it on top of Song Yu’s desk. “I’ll leave it here. It’s fine as long as you’ve given it out, it’s up to him how he wants to deal with it.” 

Qin Yan almost rolled his eyes at her words. She didn’t sound like a pig teammate.

But Song Yu remained without any expressions on his face, only separating the box Yue Zhishi made from his other things and placing it into his bag. He didn’t raise his head, but he finally opened his mouth.

“I suggest not leaving it on my desk. It might be taken away by the cleaning lady.”

The other girl was clearly made speechless by his words, and traces of humiliation appeared on Yaoyao’s face. But she, as well as every single person who’d confessed to Song Yu, had already long prepared her heart, so she tried again. “Senior.” She looked at the paper box with all of the things Song Yu had cleared away. “Are you taking these away? If possible, can you give me some of your notes? And, your name badge…”

“I have a little brother at home.” Song Yu interrupted. He lifted a paper box from the floor, placed it on to his desk and looked at her.

“I’m leaving all of my things to him.”