CH 81

Chapter 81: Secret Abandonment

Yue Zhishi didn’t answer — or rather, he answered with his body.

He directly raised his head and pressed his lips against Song Yu’s own. 

Not daring to make any noise, Yue Zhishi could only lightly move against Song Yu’s soft lips. His hands held onto Song Yu’s back under his coat, and they were like two people tightly holding each other for warmth — and they were also like the backdrop for other people.

Flames restlessly itched to rekindle during dry autumn nights, but they were suppressed, not allowed to set the field ablaze.

In the forest covered with darkness, there were breathing and sucking noises and the clues of broken leaves. None of them belonged to them.

They were only the shadows of that passionate couple.

That feeling burned at Yue Zhishi until his consciousness blurred over. He lost strength, and even his initiative was snatched away, Song Yu doing all the things he himself had hesitated and not dared to do. His breathing stuttered.

He faintly heard the sounds of clothes chafing against each other. He could also hear the couple murmur something in between their kisses, the words extraordinarily prominent through their needy voices. Words such as ‘no’, ‘we can’t’.

Slightly cool fingers touched his back, and Song Yu retreated a little, lightly kissing Yue Zhishi’s cheek and earlobe. In a voice as light as air, he deliberately asked, “Can we?”

Yue Zhishi sincerely experienced how it felt to melt, unable to resist at all. He was entirely controlled by Song Yu — and suppression always brought about a rebound.

He rested his face onto Song Yu’s shoulder, and he could feel his breaths dampening the coat. Song Yu’s voice was right next to his ear, and the sound of his low breaths were infinitely magnified, falling completely into him without any boundaries.

The nodding of his head looked more like he was rubbing his face against Song Yu’s shoulder, while Song Yu seemed to take asking for permission as more of a way to tease.

It was hot and humid inside the coat; Song Yu turned autumn into the sticky and thick height of summer.

While wearing its watch, that right hand gradually stroked up Yue Zhishi’s spine. Trembling pleasure broke through his defences, and when Yue Zhishi was just about to moan, Song Yu’s lips obstructed the possibility of him making any noise. Song Yu’s hand circled around to the front of Yue Zhishi’s body, and the cold watchband — whether accidentally or intentionally — passed over the tips of his nipples. His fingers followed closely behind, and they toyed with those stiffened nubs.

Yue Zhishi didn’t want to make any noise, but he couldn’t help it; he bit down on Song Yu’s lips with his blurry consciousness and wasn’t able to control his strength, only feeling Song Yu’s hand become more forceful. It trailed down his waist, exploring what was below. 

There was already nothing left to hide — Yue Zhishi had long gotten hard from his kissing. His desire was more honest than he himself was.

Song Yu licked him with the tip of his tongue, silently telling Yue Zhishi to relax a bit as he enjoyed this kind of inhibited and restrained amorous love. Separated by underwear, his hand went to touch Yue Zhishi’s hard cock while he used his other hand to pull Yue Zhishi’s soft and warm hand towards his own. Their actions broke rules while they locked themselves under the rule of not being allowed to make a sound; the couple not too far away let out uncontainable moans that could set others on fire. 

He thought they would do something here, but suddenly, the sound of a phone vibrating travelled over the few metres to them and paused their intimate movements. Like a scared little mouse, Yue Zhishi wrapped himself tightly around Song Yu’s back, not daring to move a single inch.

“Ah, it’s my dorm mate…” the girl said very quietly. “Probably to ask if I was still coming back tonight.”

“Don’t go back, let’s head out.” The guy’s voice carried an unexpected request, and he seemed to once again lower his head to kiss her face.

Yue Zhishi involuntarily waited for her answer. He finally received the sounds of fallen leaves being stepped on, heavy and light footsteps moving away, until only he and Song Yu were left in this field of trees.

“I need to head back to my dorm too…” Yue Zhishi whispered, begging for mercy, but Song Yu seemed to not plan on backing off at all. He took off his coat and surrounded Yue Zhishi in it, pressing him against the tree. Yue Zhishi’s back was already drenched with sweat, his face flushed, and the white fog of his pants clouded his vision.

He couldn’t see clearly — he only sensed Song Yu kneeling down. He moved downwards in a way that made him look like he was willingly tumbling down from his lofty, high status, his knees supported by the soft and fluffy pile of leaves. Without anything holding it back, the moonlight shined directly onto Yue Zhishi’s face, and it veiled over his naked desire. 

The moment his cock was swallowed, Yue Zhishi felt like he was going to suffocate. He weakly leaned against the coarse tree trunk, passively accepting the licking and the wet and smooth surface wrapping around him.

“Mm…” He wanted to call out, and yet he didn’t dare; he could only thread his fingers through Song Yu’s short hair. Song Yu’s hands were firmly pressing his hips down, as though nailing him to this large tree. In his delusion, it wasn’t a tree behind him — it was a cross, given as capital punishment to those who’d done forbidden things. Odd visions weaved together with extremely intense pleasure, and it was as though Yue Zhishi had taken an aphrodisiac hallucinogen, reaching his peak in the midst of hurried, rapid pants. He originally didn’t want to come inside Song Yu’s mouth, pushing at him, but he ended up being forcefully held in place. In the end, under the torment of sexual passion, he shot wildly into Song Yu’s mouth. 

Getting up, Song Yu dragged Yue Zhishi into sharing with him an utterly sensual and sticky kiss.

“Mm, gege…” Yue Zhishi coughed a few times, his palms pressing against Song Yu’s chest. The only thing he ended up getting was an even fiercer kiss — it even carried with it a trace of salty sweetness. He was flipped over and pressed back onto the tree, the coat on his body having fallen off from the embrace and the earlier pushing; the aged skin on the tree trunk scraped against his smooth thighs. 

“Clamp your legs together.” Song Yu’s voice was very low, the previously calm rhythm of it thrown into disarray from his soft pants. Yue Zhishi didn’t know how things had suddenly turned into this: he was pinned on a tree, gasping for air as Song Yu’s cock slid in between his legs. Song Yu’s fingers frequently kneaded at his ass with great strength, and the fluid below made his inner thighs especially messy. The thick and large front tip brushed past his sensitive back entrance and the skin between his legs an uncountable number of times; the tip even shallowly nudged inside, but it didn’t truly enter.

He was about to go insane — all his limbs were numb, and his body started to slide downwards, out of his control. Song Yu was pretty much hoisting him up as he thrust into him, and Yue Zhishi tried to turn his head around, thinking it’d be hard for Song Yu to come like this. Panting, he asked, “Ge… Can I suck you off…”

“No need.” Song Yu soothingly kissed the back of his neck, restraining himself from leaving behind a mark on Yue Zhishi’s body. “Be good.”

Yue Zhishi turned his head to him again, continuously telling Song Yu he wanted to kiss, he wanted to kiss him; he was softly whimpering like a puppy hungering for love. In this moment, he didn’t want to care anymore if they’d be found, if people would care that their love and sexual activity were incorrect — he only wanted to sink down into his lover’s arms.

What was different between them and that couple? 

Song Yu’s cold and indifferent voice turned husky. He called him baobao, easing over Yue Zhishi’s chin to gently yet suggestively kiss him — both the tip of his tongue and his cock were the things entering. After having his yearning for kisses satisfied, Yue Zhishi was submerged even further; he imagined himself as the final winter cicada during this autumn night, dying and then coming back alive within Song Yu’s heat and indulgence.

He didn’t know how many times Song Yu thrusted into him. His scalp turned numb, and when his legs could almost no longer stand up, he heard Song Yu quietly say again and again he loved him, he really loved him — and then he came onto his supple butt. The translucent cum flowed down the round and full shape of his ass, gathering on his thighs and the skin between his legs. Worried he’d get cold, Song Yu pulled up Yue Zhishi’s pants and buttoned them up, and then he picked up his coat, folding it over his arm, and embraced Yue Zhishi very tightly from the back.

Yue Zhishi felt like he was a piece of cake with a bite already taken out of him. The white chocolate poured on top had yet to even set, still dripping, and someone had already nibbled at him. He had been tasted before being packaged and pushed into the carton, and now he had to pretend to be pure and clean. 

But having experienced the sweetness of being tasted, he felt like he hadn’t had enough. He flipped over, his back weakly leaning against the trunk, and his hands went up and around Song Yu’s neck like the vines soon to wither in autumn.

Yue Zhishi grazed his nose against Song Yu’s. “Why didn’t you come in?”

“It’d be really painful.” Song Yu stroked up and down his back and enveloped him securely in his coat. “Cold?”

“Hot…” Yue Zhishi obediently rested on Song Yu’s shoulders. Song Yu returned back to his usual immaculately dressed self, as though he hadn’t ravaged anyone, hadn’t made immoral love outdoors. But Yue Zhishi could smell his own scent on Song Yu’s body; he even slightly hoped Song Yu would head back to his own dorm like this and have someone discover something. 

He longed for their secret to be broken apart — perhaps that was his motive behind trampling on those leaves, trying to attract someone’s attention. 

And Song Yu seemed to be purposefully and painstakingly abandoning a small dog: he scratched underneath his chin but wouldn’t embrace him, giving him only an incomplete sense of satisfaction. 

That way, he would long to see his owner even more. 

“Didn’t you want to head back just then?” Song Yu’s voice was very low. “I’ll take you.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

Yue Zhishi impatiently kissed the side of Song Yu’s neck, somewhat disobediently leaving behind a shallow trace, and then clung onto him, saying he wanted to be hugged. Song Yu refused; he once again said to Yue Zhishi, it’s almost midnight, you should head back to your dorm.

The air behind Song Yu’s words flowed to the back of his ear — Yue Zhishi practically started quivering again. 

Song Yu said he needed to behave, to sleep early, he still had class tomorrow morning, and Yue Zhishi had almost no way to refute his words. He even slightly enjoyed this frustration born from not being given what he wanted. 

Song Yu took him to the front of his dormitory building, and he even nodded to the dormitory supervisor in polite greeting, gentle and refined. Underneath the supervisor’s focus, he shifted closer and said to Yue Zhishi, “Make sure you clean up well.”

Yue Zhishi felt his legs twitching.

“It must be nice to have an older brother.” The supervisor auntie gave him a pleased smile after he entered. “Specifically sending you back despite being so late.”

“Mn.”

Teasing him so much so late at night, and yet not really fucking him.

With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi quickened his footsteps, trying to dodge away. Even though his legs felt limp, even though his inner thighs were completely stained with thick and sticky fluid, each and every one of his steps chafed away at his shame. He looked at himself in the building’s public bathroom mirror and did his best to conceal any traces, making himself look like a normal person as he returned back to his room.

No one was asleep, his dorm mates all still gaming in fierce battles. Jiang Yufan glanced below his bed and saw Yue Zhishi grab his pyjamas before directly speeding into the bathroom with a red face. His game had just finished, so he came down from his bunk, headed towards the dorm’s private bathroom and said to the closed door, “Le Le, are you okay? Why are you so late?”

Yue Zhishi had already pulled off his clothes. Realising that his body looked even more sullied than he’d imagined, his cheeks heated up again. The feeling of wanting more after having had a taste was like ants gnawing at his heart.

“I’m fine, I came from self-study. I forgot the time.” He took a photo as he firmly and calmly said to his good friend outside the door, “No need to worry about me, I’m sleeping as soon as I finish cleaning up.”

But he spent a very long time in the shower. After he came out, he sat in front of his desk and stared at the milk bottle Song Yu had given him — he looked at it for a very long time, too.

It was now cold, but he still drank all of it, not leaving behind a single drop.

At midnight, Song Yu received a message from Yue Zhishi.

[Le Le: Gege, will you sleep well tonight?]

As well as the photo he’d taken in the dim bathroom.

–

For many days afterwards, Yue Zhishi didn’t quite dare pass through that grove of trees.

Jiang Yufan would even scoff as they walked past on their way to class, saying there were too many small forests on campus — the amount of couples in those places could probably string up an entire circle after catching them. Yue Zhishi didn’t dare respond. 

When eating dinner together a few days later, Song Yu’s split lip had already scabbed over. Qin Yan even ridiculed him for it, but he didn’t tell Qin Yan to shut up, only saying his lips had been dry from the weather. He even deliberately glanced at Yue Zhishi after finishing his argument.

Like a qualified, good older brother, he advised Yue Zhishi to drink more water.

Qin Yan turned his attention onto Yue Zhishi. “Le Le, I hear the model you wanted to close your show is a new member of our basketball team?”

“Ah? Mn…” Yue Zhishi swallowed the food in his mouth, nodding. “Yes, a senior in second year. I think he’s quite suitable.” 

“After hearing it from Nan Jia, I even particularly ran over to look at him. I wanted to see which handsome guy it was from our team, and then when I got there — wow. I almost thought he was someone else.” Qin Yan patted Song Yu as he spoke. “He looks quite similar to you from the back, and his height’s pretty close too. It’s just that his looks are quite far from yours.” 

Song Yu completely didn’t know about this, and he lightly arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

He looked at Yue Zhishi. “How much does he look like me?”

Yue Zhishi didn’t know why, but he suddenly started to feel guilty. He rushed to explain, “He doesn’t look that much like you, it’s just that his height and body are relatively similar. I didn’t particularly look for him, I just saw him in the midst of all the models senior Nan Jia chose and thought the proportions of his body were relatively suitable…” 

“What, why do you care? Maybe you should go yourself.” Qin Yan laughed. “My good sir, you refused to go when Nan Jia asked you in so many different ways. It’s no longer up to you now.” 

As though he found his words useless, Song Yu coldly laughed. “I won’t go and be a model.” 

“But you’ll definitely watch the competition, right?” Yue Zhishi finished listening and gave him an extremely pitiful look.

“Beg me,” Song Yu said, right in front of Qin Yan’s face.

In order to get Song Yu to go, Yue Zhishi pestered him almost every day. He bought all different kinds of snacks for him, and even bought ten-plus cups of milk tea in one go to gift to the seniors in Song Yu’s research lab. He intentionally said things such as ‘you’ve worked hard taking care of gege’, and thus, everyone now recognised him.

Because of his beautiful and exceptional face and easygoing personality, everyone jokingly called him Song Yu’s little angel. 

The first time he’d gone over, Song Yu even purposefully pretended to not know him, standing at the door and watching Yue Zhishi as he gave snowflake crisps to the senior sister who worked in the lab next door. With a cold face, Song Yu said, “Who are you?” 

Yue Zhishi raised his head to look at him, and the senior sister who’d just taken snowflake crisps from him also awkwardly stared at Song Yu, swiftly considering what exactly was happening.

Wasn’t this his younger brother? He wouldn’t be a fake one, right…. 

“My ge has a bad habit.” Unmoved, Yue Zhishi turned back around and gave her a piece of candy. “He’s liked teasing me since we were kids.

“Ah… I see.” The senior sister glanced at the usually ice cold junior brother and didn’t argue back.

She secretly thought, she didn’t expect Song Yu to be that kind of person in private.

And then, for many, many days after, Yue Zhishi serviced Song Yu with coffee and even said his workspace was really spacious, much warmer than a self-study classroom; he stubbornly insisted on staying in Song Yu’s workspace to do his own coursework, even lying on the table for a nap during the middle of the day.

Even though Song Yu kept saying he took up too much space, he still gave Yue Zhishi the comfortable revolving chair and sat in the cold wooden chair himself. When Yue Zhishi lay down in sleep, Song Yu sneakily held his hand, kissing his forehead when no one else was around. 

Every day as Yue Zhishi left, he would invite Song Yu to watch the show and then, without exception, be rejected.

Until later, when Song Yu was caught by the senior sister from the research lab next door. Things went according to the usual plot, and she was truly embarrassed — but the question that came out of her mouth was…

“Does the mixed race boy who constantly comes to visit you have a girlfriend? I really like him, he’s too cute.”

And so that very afternoon, Song Yu dragged Yue Zhishi, who’d delivered himself to him, to the corner storeroom and told him to stop coming.

But Yue Zhishi only looked at him for a little while, and then he abruptly hooked his arms around Song Yu’s neck.

“Song Yu, you’re so awkward.”

He rose up and kissed him, only resulting in Song Yu pressing him down onto the table and kissing him until he couldn’t get enough air.

But stubborn Song Yu still ended up finally agreeing. He agreed to Yue Zhishi’s invitation, but the tone of his voice was still very strange and difficult to read.

“Sure, I’ll go see what kind of nice clothes my substitute’s wearing.” 

Yue Zhishi pulled out his professional occupation and refuted the word ‘substitute’ with extraordinarily well-founded reasons. Song Yu quietly listened to him finish, and then he once again emphasised —

“He’s my substitute.” 

Humans can’t reason with cats, Yue Zhishi persuaded himself.

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Le Le: been abandoned ( )