Chapter 78 - The Lady Playn

ETAN

Sarya pursed her lips and looked at the ground, the color in her cheeks deepening. "You have caught me, I'm afraid," she sighed. "I am sorry, Etan. This is not the way I usually… I wouldn't normally…"

"What?" he asked, rather more abruptly than he should have. Was she spying on him? Had she been sent by her parents, or another faction, to trap him?

"When we spoke when we were dancing, and then you left later. I thought… I thought it was an invitation," she said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

Etan froze.

"I… might have gone after you."

Etan's stomach dropped.

Then she swallowed. "But I lost you in the halls. I thought… I thought perhaps you had intended for me to… find you. I came out to the gardens, but… I was about to go back in. I've been gone far too long. But then I saw you coming and I thought… forgive me. I understand now that I had misunderstood. Clearly you have been, uh, busy," she said with a glance at his hair.

He raked a hand through it immediately, and smoothed his shirt when her eyes trailed down his chest, as well.

"I meant to get back to the castle without disturbing you, but I fell and… here we are," she shrugged. "I did not mean to put you in a difficult position, Etan. I told you, I don't play games like that. Please, just forget that you saw me this evening." She gave him a small, awkward wave, then started for the castle.

Etan swallowed. "Sarya—"

But as soon as she took a step on the bad leg, it gave under her and she almost went down again. Etan leapt forward and caught her arm and waist, pulling her upright again, then helping her over to a bench just beyond the path. Etan kept a sharp eye and ear out for anyone approaching. They couldn't be found her alone.

Sarya sighed when she got to the bench, then covered her face with her hands. "Please, Etan, I really am fine. You must go. If you do not—"

"I will not leave you here where anyone might happen upon you, Sarya," he said firmly. "Rest for a moment and you can try again soon."

She nodded, looking at her hands, now clasped in her lap. "You are a good man, Etan," she said quietly, "to stay here with me even at risk to yourself." Then she looked up at him through her eyelashes and Etan's stomach went cold. "Perhaps… perhaps I did not misunderstand after all?" she breathed, leaning towards him.

Etan blinked and leaned away. "Sarya, no. We cannot—"

"Etan, don't worry," she whispered, reaching for him. "I know you're a gentleman. You are not taking advantage—I am offering—" she put a hand to his chest and he leapt up from the bench. She almost toppled into the space where he'd sat, but he couldn't catch her, or touch her… or anything.

"Sarya, I apologize if I have said or done anything to give the wrong impression. I am… not available for… this kind of… interaction. I am flattered, and you are an attractive woman. But please… do not ask me again." He stood with his hands fisted at his sides while she leaned on the bench on one hand, and looked down at herself, her other hand at her forehead.

Her shoulders slumped.

"I am so sorry, Etan," she said finally. Very quietly.

"No, I'm sorry," he pressed. "I do enjoy your company, Sarya. Under other circumstances… but we are not. I am not… this is not…"

"Do you love another?" she asked bluntly, raising her eyes to meet his, all sign of her fluster and embarrassment gone. "Is your heart already taken? Or is this a measure of your honor?"

"I am… My heart is given away, Sarya. I'm sorry. It is nothing to do with you."

She blinked, then looked away, her jaw tense. "Of course it isn't," she said, huffing a humorless laugh. "Nothing to do with me at all."

"Sarya—"

"Please, do not pity me, Etan. I assure you, there is no need. I am more than capable of moving on from this kind of… rebuff."

"I'm certain you are," he said softly. "But it grieves me that I have caused you pain."

"Don't let it," she said, her eyes flaring with a strange light. "You are not my only option. Simply the one I… it does not matter. I am a friend to you, Etan. I am here if you should need me for anything. You are in need of friends, I think?"

"Yes, of course. And I am here for you also."

She nodded. "Do not be concerned, Etan. I'm not one of the fluttering sparrows that will squeak and panic. We can still ride out. We can remain friends. You do not need to fear me."

"I would never… I do not fear you, Sarya. I but just wish to make sure I don't hurt you."

She smiled then. "A bruised ego isn't nearly as painful as you might think," she said. "Not nearly as painful as eventual betrayal when a person is… unworthy of your attentions."

Etan blinked. Was she saying he—?

"Thank you for your help, Etan," she said, her chin up as she stood from the bench and stamped her feet on the gravel. "It seems my ankle has improved a great deal. I will be more thank capable of getting myself back to the ball without your assistance, I assure you. Goodnight."

"I… are you certain?"

"Utterly," she said, tipping her chin once, then turning towards the castle. "Just don't follow right away so that we might be seen to return together."

He nodded, frowning. Still uncertain whether she was only saving face by being suddenly cold. Or if she was more angry than she let on.

"Thank you for understanding, Sarya," he said quietly.

"You will find me for more forgiving than most, Etan, if you do not allow this incident to frighten you from me."

"Of course not," he said quickly.

"I will see you tomorrow, then."

"Yes, goodnight," he said.

"Goodnight, Sir," she said, then walked away, back towards the castle.

And Etan stared at her back until she disappeared around the corner, uncertain whether he had won or lost that particular exchange, but absolutely certain that it had been combat.

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