Chapter 116 - No More Tears

AYLETH

When the rush of their lovemaking had passed—and the wave of emotion it had brought over her—they were still laying on the bed together. Her head was on his arm, and his fingertips trailed slowly up and down her spine. It felt so wonderful she wanted to purr.

"I'm sorry I cried," she whispered, embarrassed.

"Don't be. This is overwhelming," he said softly. "I want to weep with it sometimes as well."

"Do you really?" she asked, pulling back far enough to meet his eyes.

He stared down his beautiful nose at her and nodded. Then his eyes cut to her hair where he used his free hand to comb it back from her temple. 

"What stops you?" Ayleth persisted.

Etan sighed. "It isn't exactly a warrior's best moment, to be caught weeping like a babe," he said dryly. "But also… I fear giving in to my emotions in that way. Sometimes it feels as if when I do, I will never return from it."

Ayleth stroked his chest, nodding. "I know that feeling well. It ruled my days in the months after those men tried to take me."

Etan's eyes closed and his forehead pinched. "Ayleth, I am so sorry you went through that. I was too young—I wasn't involved, but even had I known, I would have had no way to stop it back then."

She bit her lip. "I think… I think Summitras is not the first, nor the last Kingdom to attempt capture of another ruler," she said carefully. "But it will never be a part of the strategy I employ as Queen. Prisoners of war are one thing—they understand the need to fight, and the risk they take. But kidnapping… I will not stoop to that. Ever." She held his eyes, a warning in hers. If they were to rule together, she would sanction his use of the approach either.

But Etan nodded solemnly. "It will not happen again in my Kingdom. Not while I have any sway. If necessary, until I take the throne, I will force my father to listen."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

They both lay there quietly for a moment. 

"Do you imagine," Ayleth said eventually, "that we will have time to do this when we are ruling?"

"Make love?" Etan snorted. "Precious, we will make time."

She giggled. "No! I meant this… to lay here together and talk. To learn each other."

Etan sighed again. "I hope so. I think there will be days we cannot. But I think, too, we should start as we mean to go on. Even now."

"What do you mean?"

He continued stroking her hair with his fingers, raising goosebumps on her skin. "I mean, the Royal life is very structured. Full of responsibility and routine. I believe as soon as we are able, we should begin our married life. As we would have it when things are peaceful. If we choose to always lay in bed together at the end of the night, it will become part of our routine, and no one will question it. But if we allow that time to be stolen…"

"Do you think we can do that, Etan? Be married. Together. As soon as we return?"

"I don't know. I hope so. There will be reason to not… flaunt our disobedience. But also reason to show ourselves true. I will ask Borsche what he recommends. But rest assured, regardless of what we may do publicly, privately you are my wife, Ayleth. I will not share you, and I will not be parted from you." He said the words with a heated fierceness and his fingers fisted into her hair, his eyes flashing, as if he pictured the man who would try to keep them apart, and he already prepared to fight. 

But Ayleth wasn't so certain. "I believe some caution might be needed, Etan. I can see my parents—and likely yours—needing time to adjust to this. And even if they accept it—which I imagine will not happen immediately—I know my mother will push for a public wedding. A recognized event. Though she would have no issue with our physical relationship in private, she can be quite prickly about how people view us and what is proper in public. I imagine she will wish me to appear… unattached, until the day of Unions."

In the days following the Peace Accord there would be many royal contracts signed, marriage intentions formalized, and alliances made. Traditionally, the hosting Royals held a ball before the festival ended. All of the nobles and royals who had found mates during the festival would announce their intentions. Some would marry in a joint ceremony before the festival ended, called the day of Unions. Others would leave betrothed, to plan their royal weddings within their Kingdom's culture. 

Ayleth had promised her parents they would have a wedding to announce—and even agreed that she might marry the man on the day of Unions. She had been quite bold in her view of the entire affair, having no idea what would actually occur. Now… now she cherished the ceremony they'd had. But would her parents recognize it?

Etan sighed heavily. "If our parents come to an agreement and we are to be married before the festival ends, I would reluctantly agree to publicly sleep apart from you for that time. But our betrothal must be publicly announced, and not ignored."

"Of course. I would not stand for secrecy, Etan. If my father tried to convince me, I would suspect his intentions."

Etan sighed again, then rolled onto his back, pulling her into his shoulder. She lay her head there, her hand on his chest. 

"How do you do it, Ayleth?"

"Do what?"

"How do you see your father's ruthlessness and not… reject him?"

Her hand stilled. She'd never really thought about it like that. "He's my father," she said quietly. "He is not ruthless towards me. And often the decisions he makes that I would frown upon, I am not there to see them made. They occur before I even know they've been ordered."

"Doesn't it bother you though, that your father would do things you wouldn't?"

She nodded. "Don't your parents make decisions differently than you would?"

"Yes, but rarely in a way that would turn my stomach."

Ayleth frowned. "My father does not turn my stomach. He is hard-headed. He has a temper. But he is also intelligent, and usually fair."

Etan snorted. Ayleth frowned and pushed up on her elbow to look at him. "Etan, he has a particular dislike for your people, your Kingdom. You see the worst of him. And I agree, he has not handled those issues as I would have. But he allowed you to come despite his misgivings. After all, it was your father who ordered my abduction."

"Only after your father had sanctioned trade with our Kingdom."

Ayleth frowned harder. "No, Etan, that is not true. My father brough the sanctions in response to the attempt on my life. Our Kingdoms were… tense for generations before then. But that event was the catalyst for my father's upholding of the blood feud."

"No, that can't be right," Etan said, his fingers no longer playing on her back. "I distinctly remember the messenger arriving during the winter feast. Father didn't speak of your abduction until days later—because he'd sought to have the sanctions lifted."

"Etan," Ayleth said gently, "The attempt to take me happened a week before Winter Solstice. I know because Falek was forced to remove me from our Feast when I had an… attack of some kind. I was unable to breathe, suddenly. Those began after the men tried to take me from my bed and went on for months in its wake. It is why Falek agreed to train me."

Etan's frown deepened. He turned his head to meet her eyes. "You're telling me that my parent's started this? When they tried to take you?"

"The blood feud? Yes. My father cut all ties with Summitras after that night. It's true things were already tense. He was… cold with Summitras for as long as I can remember. But his rage did not begin until those men entered my bedchamber in the middle of the night."

Etan's throat bobbed, but Ayleth didn't look away. Palm flat on his broad chest, she let him see her certainty. "Do you believe me?" she asked him.

"I believe that you believe it. I would… I would need to ask my parents to be certain. Just as I may be confused about dates for the sanctions, so might you."

Ayleth gave a twisted grin. "I'm not. I have a very good head for numbers. But it is alright, husband. I will not push you. You may admit defeat later," she grinned.

He smiled and pulled her down to his chest again. But she noticed his heart was thumping faster than it had been minutes before.

*****

IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE BELOW ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THIS BOOK!

This note was added immediately after the chapter was published so you are not charged for the words:

Okay, #TeamEtan It's time for an author confessional. I hadn't planned to talk about this stuff here, but it's started to affect you, so now you get the personal download, lol.

So, short story is: Something happened three weeks ago that put my entire family in turmoil. This has taken a HUGE amount of time and emotional energy the past three weeks, and likely will for weeks, or even months to come.

I got VERY behind in my writing schedule and have been really struggling to keep up with everything. For me on the work front, everything kind of hit the fan yesterday and I was facing down having to "fail" on a book for Win-win or let my family down. And in our house, family always comes first (sorry!)

So, last night I had to make the decision to post a chapter that was too short for Win-win, which means that PRINCE is now out of the running for the event and that it's my fault because I haven't met my wordcount.

With everything going on, my husband encouraged me to lower my workload, and yesterday I ended up staring at the computer screen trying to write PRINCE today and working at a speed that is about 1/4 my usual because I'm so stressed by trying to see how I'm going to make it through the next month.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but unless I want to pay some serious consequences, I'm not going to be able to sustain 3 books this month after all.

I want to be clear: This is not me dropping PRINCE altogether. I am investing in a new cover for it, and plan to keep ticking away at it once I have the stockpiles for the other two books back to their normal levels. But for now, I have managed to squeeze out 5 more chapters on PRINCE and I will try to keep getting semi-regular updates on it. But I want to apologize to you, because you have given so much support to it and I feel TERRIBLE. I really, really do. You all have put so much time, encouragement, and cash into this book and I am the one who has failed on it. But I cannot keep it up. I have to just admit my limits here and make a hard decision.

So, this is your heads up that there will be a few more updates over the coming couple weeks, after which I truly don't know what the publishing schedule is going to look like.

Please forgive me. I did not in any intend to not fulfill my word. There were circumstances out of my control that have impacted everything and I had to give up on something yesterday.