Chapter 15: Im Sorry

Chapter 15: Im Sorry

*The boy’s eyes are indeed beautiful, clear and cold.

Looking at Jiang Qi’s panicked eyes, Zhi Qi was reminded of the time she saw him again at the age of sixteen in Third Middle School.

—Time seemed to have suddenly returned to the past.

In Jiang Qi’s light gaze, Zhi Qi seemed to see her past self, that disheveled girl in the scorching summer.

She actually remembered the day of elementary school graduation, even to the point that she could say she always remembered it. Because when the girl grew up and recalled that day, she realized how wrong Jiang Qi was at that time.

He lay in a dilapidated and cramped environment, pale, weak, almost on the verge of collapse. Yet, he sternly chased her away, looking as if the room could harbor some evil spirit. In fact, she should have noticed that something was wrong with him at that time. Unfortunately, the young girl had always been sheltered, never having someone coldly stare her down like that.

Jiang Qi’s scolding only made things more unbearable, and Zhi Qi couldn’t take it anymore. She ran away, stepping into a foul puddle, and the young man didn’t offer a word of comfort.

On the way home, Zhi Qi felt like a dog that had lost everything.

At her tender age, she felt that it was the saddest day of her life.

When she returned home, her mother threw away Zhi Qi’s stinky shoes. When she went to wash up, she discovered that she had contracted something. Perhaps because of the germs bred in that dilapidated Chenkong alley, and the girl, being delicate, had developed large patches of red rash on her slender legs, itching and painful.

Zhi Qi didn’t know if it was because of the discomfort or some other reason, but when Mei Ran applied medicine to her, she couldn’t help but shed tears continuously. Her eyes were red with distress. When her parents asked her how it happened, she just shook her head and refused to say. It was her own fault, nothing to do with Jiang Qi. She insisted on going to find him.

It was just that Jiang Qi was too harsh today; she didn’t want to see him for the next few days!

Little did Zhi Qi realize at that time that her thought of ‘a few days’ would turn into a whole three years or even more.

Initially, she thought it was just a summer vacation without seeing Jiang Qi, and when they entered middle school, they would naturally be classmates again. The girl’s wound was exaggeratedly treated by the adults, covered with ointment and wrapped in gauze. She couldn’t go out and play around for several days.

So, when bored at home, she couldn’t help but think of Jiang Qi.

When Zhi Qi’s legs had healed a week later, her personality was the classic ‘healed scars forgotten pain.’ She didn’t remember at all what Jiang Qi had forbade about never going to Chen Kong Alley. After removing the white gauze wrapped around her legs, she ran over.

As a result, the cramped house where the young man had lain last time was empty. Inside, even the most common daily necessities were gone, as if... no one had ever lived there.

Zhi Qi stood dumbfounded, foolishly outside the bungalow, struggling to peer through the window.

The driver from the Zhi family, who had driven Zhi Qi here, couldn’t bear the surrounding environment. He covered his nose and said, “Qiqi, why did you come to this place? Hurry back; otherwise, the master and madam will worry.”

“I... I came to find a classmate.” Zhi Qi, feeling desolate, lowered her long eyelashes and asked hesitantly, “But there’s no one here. Uncle, do you think he moved away?”

“Oh, look, it’s obvious that he moved.” The driver glanced around and said without much thought, “There’s nothing left inside; who could live here?”

A ‘thud’ sounded in Zhi Qi’s heart.

After all, speculating that there was no one here and hearing it from someone else were different.

Jiang Qi moved... where could he have moved to?

She only now realized that she had no way to contact Jiang Qi. After graduating from elementary school, the invisible thread that connected them seemed to have snapped. Just like now, he moved, and she had no idea where to find him. Zhi Qi returned home in a daze.

During the remaining month of summer vacation, Zhi Qi was always looking forward to the start of junior high.

She wasn’t really a ‘good student’ who loved studying, but now, going to school was the only way to see Jiang Qi, so she welcomed the idea of going to school. However, Zhi Qi didn’t expect that even after starting junior high, she still couldn’t see Jiang Qi.

The new students at Eighth Middle School were divided into seven classes, and Zhi Qi was in Class Six. On the first day of school, she entered her class with high expectations, searched around, and although a bit disappointed not to find Jiang Qi’s shadow, she still felt it was within expectations.

After all, with seven classes in Eighth Middle School, the chance of being in the same class was only one in seven. Not getting into the same class was normal, but it was hard to avoid feeling a bit uneasy about it.

Since entering the sixth grade, the baby fat on Zhi Qi’s face had faded away. She had a palm-sized face, a pointed chin, and eyes as dark as ink on her ivory-white skin. From a young age, she was a complete beauty.

And wherever there’s a beautiful girl, there are perks. She quickly made new friends in her class, particularly a round-faced girl named Luo Ying, who became her desk mate.

During a break, Zhi Qi propped her chin with a pencil and asked, “Ying Ying, do you know... I want to find a classmate in school, but I don’t know which class he’s in. Is there any way?”

Originally not holding much hope, Zhi Qi was surprised to find out that Luo Ying actually knew.

“There’s a way!” the girl nodded, her voice crisp, “I remember there’s a long blackboard at the entrance of the teaching building with the names of students from each class posted on it. It’s convenient for parents to find. Don’t you know?”

Zhi Qi’s eyes lit up, shaking her head.

During the lunch break, the girl ran non-stop to the long blackboard at the entrance of the teaching building and carefully examined the densely written names on the posted sheets.

However, the more she looked, the more flustered she felt.

Because there was no sign of Jiang Qi’s name in any of the seven classes.DiiScôver new stories on no/v/e()/lbin(.)com

Jiang Qi... could it be that he didn’t come to Eighth Middle School? But didn’t they agree to attend the same school?

Zhi Qi stared at the names on the blackboard, her eyes feeling a bit sore. But after a thorough look, she still couldn’t find Jiang Qi’s name. Zhi Qi could finally confirm that Jiang Qi didn’t come to Eighth Middle School; he lied.

In an instant, the girl’s small hand hanging by her side involuntarily clenched—this was the first time she began to ‘resent’ Jiang Qi in a somewhat extreme manner.

Clearly, they had agreed on something. Why did he have to lie to her?

So, the farewell in Chen Kong Alley over a month ago, could it be their last meeting?

This made Zhi Qi feel like the mutual companionship during those few years of elementary school was like a joke. She thought... she and Jiang Qi were different.

It turns out she wasn’t. Turns out, she was someone Jiang Qi could discard at will, without even a word. Zhi Qi wiped her slightly reddened eyes with her hand, no longer looking at the names on the blackboard. She turned around, biting her lip, and ran away. Since Jiang Qi could casually lie and leave without a word, she naturally didn’t need to remember him.

Human ‘initiative’ has its limits; once the disappointment becomes overwhelming, there’s no longer any desire to try.

So, for the next three years, Zhi Qi never actively sought out Jiang Qi. She didn’t know where to find him and also felt... there was no need to search for someone who simply didn’t care about her. Yet, occasionally, she felt a bit empty if she thought she might never see Jiang Qi again.

The girl’s personality underwent subtle changes without her realizing. She remained bright and gentle, but her three years of junior high school couldn’t make her open her heart to any ‘friend’ as before.

Because suddenly losing an important friend is genuinely heartbreaking. However, if there was never deep emotional investment from the beginning, there wouldn’t be heartbreak, or at least not as profound. The disappointment of that summer at the age of thirteen turned Zhi Qi into a timid girl.

When junior high school ended, facing the summer at the age of fifteen, she thought she had forgotten Jiang Qi—because she rarely thought of him anymore.

– Time is the best healer of all.

– Those skies that seemed to collapse back then were actually just stubbornly dragged through by lingering reluctance at that time.

With three years of focused effort, Zhi Qi excelled academically. During the high school entrance exam, she unquestionably secured a spot in the top-ranked Third High School in the city.

The sixteen-year-old girl grew taller, with a slender figure, resembling a graceful lily. She had a delicate palm-sized face, dark beautiful eyes. Even in the simplest school uniform and with a ponytail, she was incredibly captivating.

When entering high school, students usually received class placement notifications through the class group on their phones. Most students had mobile phones, eliminating the need to bend over the bulletin board in front of the teaching building to check their class assignments.

And sometimes, destiny is truly a mysterious and coincidental thing.

Just like on the day Zhi Qi went to report for school, as she walked to the entrance of her assigned class, her heart inexplicably skipped a beat. As if sensing that something was about to happen, a sudden discomfort filled the air. The girl’s delicate eyebrows lightly furrowed, her small hand instinctively pinched her translucent earlobe, and then she entered the classroom.

She wasn’t particularly early; there were already quite a few students in the classroom. Taking advantage of the teacher’s absence, they hurriedly chose their seats – mostly towards the back. Zhi Qi stood at the door, her gaze sweeping across the classroom, finally settling on the figure at the window in the last row.

In an instant, she felt like her senses were somewhat blank, and in the vastness, all she could see was the silhouette of the young man.

Three years had passed, from thirteen to sixteen, and a person could change a lot.

Yet, at a glance, Zhi Qi could tell that the slender youth in the school uniform was Jiang Qi. He sat indifferently in the corner, looking out the window. She could only see half of his profile, sharp and decisive. The youth, as always, was slim and pale, as if suffering from some malnutrition. But whether it was the legs under the desk or the fingers casually twirling a pen on the desktop, they were quite long.

It seemed that Jiang Qi had also grown taller, and Zhi Qi couldn’t help feeling a bit sour.

Compared to a few years ago, the youth had ‘grown up’ quite a bit. The lines on his face were exquisite and sharp, with sword-like eyebrows, starry eyes carrying a hint of fierceness. There was a youthful aura on his clear and pale face.

However, annoyingly, there was no trace of ‘innocence.’

As Zhi Qi hesitated about whether to approach, she saw several girls from the same class gossiping and shyly walking over to greet Jiang Qi, “Classmate, um, you...”

Before the words could fully come out, Jiang Qi, who was already leaning away, turned his head even further, almost completely turning his back to them, clearly indicating he had no intention of talking.

...

Those few girls stood there for a moment, their faces showing a hint of disbelief. Eventually, unable to hold back their displeasure, they walked away, muttering, “What kind of person is he?” with disdain.

Though it wasn’t entirely appropriate, Zhi Qi couldn’t help but find it a bit amusing. Her porcelain-white teeth bit her lip, and after pinching her palm forcefully, she walked towards Jiang Qi.

She looked at the youth’s pitch-black hair and the glimpse of his neck between the collar of the school uniform. Her voice was soft and gentle, “A classmate.”

No response.

As expected, Jiang Qi was still as cold and unapproachable as before.

Undeterred, Zhi Qi took a deep breath and called out again, “Jiang Qi.”

This time, the boy turned his head. Zhi Qi, without diverting her gaze, stared fixedly at Jiang Qi. In his crystal-clear pupils, she clearly saw a vivid surprise. The youth’s eyes were truly beautiful, transparent and icy.

Knowing how difficult it was for such astonishment to appear on top of that coldness, Zhi Qi felt satisfied. It seemed he still remembered her, and a small smile curled up on the corner of the girl’s lips. Looking into Jiang Qi’s eyes, which were seemingly black but held an endless expanse like a gentle and calm sea, the emotions of surprise gradually subsided.

Later, the girl raised her hand and, with a natural motion, wiped away the bloodstains from the corner of Jiang Qi’s lips.

“I hate it when you fight.” Zhi Qi muttered, pulling Jiang Qi’s hand and looking at his visibly injured knuckles, straightforwardly saying, “Come on, let’s go buy some medicine.”

Anyway, it was a physical education class, and they could secretly run out of the school gate.

Jiang Qi’s eyes carried a hint of a subtle smile, behaving obediently throughout, letting her manipulate him without uttering a word. The natural familiarity between the two astonished Tang Jiao and Li Ran, who were watching nearby. Meanwhile, Chen Liufang’s expression became increasingly dark and indifferent.

Finally, unable to hold back, he walked up to Zhi Qi, blocking her path. Then, pointing to Jiang Qi beside her, he asked, word by word, “Do you know he’s a lunatic?”

This abrupt statement was enough to make the entire atmosphere eerily silent.

Zhi Qi’s delicate eyebrows furrowed, and without hesitation, she retorted, “What nonsense are you talking about?”

“Nonsense? Zhi Qi, can’t you see how much this guy is pretending?” Generally, high school boys dislike those who act more than themselves. Chen Liufang had been disliking Jiang Qi for a long time, and now, seeing Zhi Qi defending him, he couldn’t help but mock, almost speaking without filtering, “Day by day, with a deadpan face, not talking to anyone in the class, acting like he’s owed money by everyone? Zhi Qi, stay away from him.”

But Zhi Qi, after hearing this, couldn’t help but laugh.

“Chen Liufang, why do you care about me?” Unfortunately, the girl didn’t know how to use harsh words. Before leaving with Jiang Qi, she gave him a gentle warning, “Please take care of yourself and don’t criticize others unnecessarily.”

Jiang Qi had always been cold and peculiar since childhood, but so what?

She didn’t dislike his peculiarity. After all, is there a rule in this world that says people must be born to laugh and conform?

The more Zhi Qi thought about it, the angrier she became. Along the way to the back wall, her face turned as puffy as a steamed bun. Looking at her, Jiang Qi couldn’t help but smile, his amber eyes seeming to hold a gentle sea.

“Why are you laughing?” Zhi Qi, torn between concern and anger, couldn’t help but stop in her tracks when she saw him still smiling. She turned her head, looking at him seriously, “He said such things about you. Aren’t you angry?”

Jiang Qi shook his head, appearing somewhat awkwardly obedient.

In reality, Zhi Qi didn’t know that Jiang Qi genuinely didn’t care about what Chen Liufang said. Over the years, he had developed the ability to treat the nonsense spoken by those around him as if it were a passing breeze. Most of the time, he couldn’t be bothered to retaliate against others, not even with a glance.

However, the young girl didn’t share Jiang Qi’s calm attitude, and every time she saw Jiang Qi being insulted, she felt an explosive sense of anger.

“How can you not be angry?” Zhi Qi unconsciously clenched her small hand into a fist. “You’re not some lunatic, pretending... pretending whatever. Chen Liufang is just talking nonsense...”

At the end of her words, the girl unconsciously sniffed, as if feeling the same sense of grievance. Zhi Qi’s current mentality was that she could ignore Jiang Qi, but she couldn’t stand others bullying him. She still cared about him immensely.

However, for Jiang Qi, the crucial point was... the boy’s eyes were bright and shining like light-colored gems, full of anticipation as he looked at Zhi Qi, “Are you willing to talk to me now?”

As long as Zhi Qi was willing to talk to him, he could fight Chen Liufang ten times over.

...

Zhi Qi was somewhat speechless, somewhat bemused, but more than anything, she felt heartache.

After a moment of mutual gaze, the young girl looked at the traces of broken skin at the corners of his mouth, couldn’t help but ‘chuckle,’ but as she laughed, her shoulders trembled slightly.

Jiang Qi originally laughed with the girl, but when he saw her lower her head, the smile immediately froze on his lips.

“Qiqi.” The young man unconsciously reached out, but restrained himself and withdrew his hand before touching the girl’s slender shoulder. His cold voice sounded somewhat anxious, “What’s wrong with you?”

“I dislike you.” Zhi Qī sniffed, and when she raised her head again, there were obvious sparkles in her eyes.

But the girl obviously didn’t want him to see that she had cried, so she stubbornly turned her head away and muttered, “I’m talking to you, can you just listen... annoying.”

In the end, she couldn’t resist and softened, showing a completely cute appearance. Zhi Qi’s fair earlobes turned slightly red as she bit her lip and avoided looking at him.

But Jiang Qi, after hearing the words “I’m talking to you,” couldn’t care about anything else. Unable to resist, he gazed at Zhi Qi with a deep look in his eyes, not exactly smiling.

It seemed... his eyes were only on her.

Zhi Qi inexplicably felt a bit embarrassed and pretended to glare at him in annoyance. “Why are you looking at me?”

The young man never spoke exaggeratedly seductive words; he just honestly said, “Beautiful.”

But his sincere gaze left Zhi Qi at a loss for words. It turned out that Jiang Qi’s personality had really remained the same as three years ago—direct and honest, never changing. Perhaps since they had “made up,” there was no need to continue being awkward. In fact, she had wanted to reconcile with him as before long ago.

So, just like three years ago, Zhi Qi linked arms with Jiang Qi and pulled him to the corner of the rear wall on the back playground of the school—where students from the school occasionally sneaked out when they wanted to skip class.

“You go first.” Zhi Qi, who had never skipped class before, was a good and obedient girl. The first time she did this, she felt a bit uneasy, “Then, follow me?”

On the inner side of the wall, some students who often skipped class had placed a few bricks to climb up, but jumping outside without someone to catch... Zhi Qi thought she might be scared.

However, skipping class was something Jiang Qi had done a lot. He glanced at the height of those bricks and felt that it would be challenging for Zhi Qi to climb up by herself. So, he half-knelt in front of her and said, “Step on my shoulders to go up first.”

After asking Zhi Qi to wait on the edge, he planned to follow, jump down first, and catch her.

However, Jiang Qi’s ‘plan,’ though good, turned out to be a bit troublesome in execution. Zhi Qi felt that she couldn’t step on his shoulders.

“Um... isn’t this not good?” Zhi Qi looked at her shoes, hesitating, “It might dirty your clothes.”

“It’s fine.” Jiang Qi nonchalantly shook his head, “It’s already dirty.”

Indeed, just now, when he fought with Chen Liufang on the playground, his white school uniform had almost turned black. Thinking that if she continued hesitating, the PE class would soon be over, Zhi Qi pursed her lips and cautiously stepped onto the boy’s shoulders.

She was very light, not afraid of hurting Jiang Qi, but the movement felt a bit awkward. As Zhi Qi felt Jiang Qi grasp her hands and lift her half-upright, her ears couldn’t help but turn a bit warm. She clumsily clung to the wall’s edge, climbed up, and obediently sat there, waiting for him.

In primary school, they used to hold hands often, but now it seemed a bit strange.

The boy’s hands were much larger than three years ago, completely enveloping her hands in his palms. The only constant was the scars on the back of his hand, seemingly gaining a few more.

Zhi Qi was lost in her thoughts when a breeze brushed past. Turning her head, she saw that the boy had already sat down next to her. For Jiang Qi, such things seemed effortless, with swift and decisive movements.

Under the warm afternoon sunlight, the delicate contours of the boy’s half-profile seemed to be coated with a layer of gold, exuding a sculpted and sharp beauty. Zhi Qi’s heart inexplicably skipped a beat, and she subconsciously looked away.

But no matter where she looked, she couldn’t help but feel her gaze wanting to follow him.

Especially when Jiang Qi jumped down from the wall and extended his hand to her below, the boy’s calm voice was faint but reassuring, “Come down, I’ll catch you.”

“I’ll catch you.”

Damn those four words that stir the heart. At that time, the young girl didn’t know that the pounding feeling in her chest was the sensation of being ‘moved.’ Zhi Qi just felt that she could trust Jiang Qi.

So, she jumped down, her petite body like a bird, landing in the arms of the young boy, though exceptionally sturdy.

This marked their first intimate act that could be considered a ‘hug.’

As Zhi Qi’s soft hair brushed against Jiang Qi’s chin, the boy inexplicably took two cautious steps back, very carefully and restrainedly releasing the girl’s waist.

Touch and release, he only dared to touch her when he was ‘protecting’ her.

Inexplicably, both of them felt a bit awkward, silently understanding each other’s feelings. However, their footsteps were in harmony, leading to the pharmacy behind the school. Zhi Qi asked Jiang Qi to sit on the bench outside and wait. She went in, bought antiseptic, adhesive bandages, and cotton swabs, and then came out to help clean his wounds.

The scene seemed strangely familiar; in fact, Zhi Qi had done this several times before.

“Does it hurt?” Zhi Qi used a cotton swab dipped in antiseptic to touch the wound at the corner of Jiang Qi’s lips. Before he could react, she couldn’t help but furrow her brows, as if feeling the pain herself.

Jiang Qi shook his head, gazing at Zhi Qi’s long eyelashes up close, his eyes slightly absent. In fact, he knew Zhi Qi was afraid of pain. In primary school, when the school organized vaccinations, she would always hide at the back, afraid.

So, the girl would empathize with others’ pain, fearing that he might be in pain too.

But in reality, he had long been accustomed to it, and it seemed like his pain receptors were a bit numb. Jiang Qi lowered his gaze, realizing that he couldn’t feel the stinging sensation of the antiseptic. Well, he didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

“Well, okay.” After cleaning the wound, Zhi Qi stuck the adhesive bandage on Jiang Qi’s face, covering the glaring cut. She admired her handiwork for a moment, then said seriously, “No trouble, no fighting.”

Jiang Qi obediently nodded.

The appearance of the boy with the adhesive bandage on his lip seemed inexplicably mischievous. His black disheveled hair framed a pair of eyes that were both cold and wild. Strangely, he behaved extremely well in front of her, creating a strong contrast and even exuding a sense of innocence.

Zhi Qi glanced at him, then turned her head to organize the medicine on her lap. Her repeated actions gave off a subtle feeling of ‘no smoke without fire.’

There were not many people on this road, and the two students sat quietly, basking in the sunlight, creating a sense of ‘peaceful days.’

“Jiang Qi.” After a while, the girl spoke softly, her gentle tone revealing a longstanding confusion, “Why didn’t you go to the Eighth Middle School back then?”

This had always been a knot in her heart, and Zhi Qi had wanted to ask for a long time.

After she asked, she clearly saw Jiang Qi’s fingers, placed on his knee, tighten into a fist.

“Sorry,” Jiang Qi apologized again, whispering, “After graduating from elementary school, my household registration was transferred to my uncle’s side, so... I was assigned to the middle school in Itada.”

Itada District was very far away from Lin Lan, almost like a remote suburb. It was a place where vegetable vendors traded in the morning and where he first rescued Zhi Qi.

Zhi Qi paused and murmured, “Why did you transfer your household registration to Itada District? Can you tell me?”

Of course, he could. In fact, there was nothing to hide from the little girl. Jiang Qi took a deep breath, turned his head, and looked directly into the girl’s eyes, “I wanted to transfer there myself.”

He wanted to get away from Chen Kong Alley, as far away as possible.