Chapter 33: Identity

Chapter 33: Identity

I groaned, slowly sitting up on the bed as I blinked the sluggish malaise of sleep from my eyes. Listlessly glancing around the hotel room, I saw nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. My eyes eventually found a digital clock on the nightstand. It was a little past eleven now, meaning I had been working on my astral shift for just over an hour.

Selene was sitting on the edge of my bed, fluffy fox tails swishing happily, as I stood up and stretched. Needles danced across my muscles in pinpricks of numbness, as if Id been laying down for a much longer period of time.

The entire experience certainly felt like it had been longer than an hour. I was hesitant to call picking out my Astral Dress an ordeal, but Selene had certainly had some interesting ideas.

Warmth flashed across my cheeks at the memory of the bunny girl outfit, and I suppressed a shiver.

[Well, with that finalized,] Selene spoke cheerily, [youre one step closer to realizing your full potential as a Magical Girl. All that is left is unlocking your Signature and Grimoire. Congratulations, Mai!]

I fidgeted, awkwardly tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I looked away with a shrug. It wasnt like I had done anything special. Sure, unlocking my Astral Shift was a long time coming, but it was something all Magical Girls did, so I wasnt sure why there was a need for any congratulations.

Seemingly sensing my awkwardness, Selene hopped off the bed and ambled over to the door before turning back to me.

[Unless there is anything else youd like to discuss, I would recommend initiating your Astral Shift so we can continue with Everglaives plan.]

A small pit formed in my stomach, and I gave a jittery nod. Right. We were going to go on a patrol out in the city, and then

I swallowed down the nervousness tickling the back of my throat. It would be fine. Everglaive wouldnt just throw me into a dangerous Usurpation and abandon me. Shed probably be right there with me just in case anything went wrong.

But that didnt make the fear in my stomach stop burning any less.

I shoved down those thoughts, giving a slightly stilted nod to Selene as I took in a breath and closed my eyes. Thinking any more about my situation wasnt going to solve anything. Id just have to make do like I always did, one step at a time.

With another deep breath, I directed my thoughts inward. After Selene and I had decided on my costume in the weird dream space, shed let me practice a few times going through the process of using my Astral Shift. In essence, it was a lot like what I did to manifest her or activate the silencing enchantment on my gun, reaching inside myself and finding the pool of warm, thrumming energy. The only difference was what came after.

For enchantments and spells, it was a fairly simple process of reaching out to my mana and then connecting it to whatever I wanted to do. With enchantments, that was literally feeling for the empty construct I wanted to power and then pushing some mana into the enchantment. Spells were apparently similar, except I had to create the construct in my imagination and activate the spell by mentally or verbally saying its name.

My Astral Shift was more like an enchantment in that I could feel the construct of the transformation magic already waiting inside me just waiting to be powered. However, unlike most enchantments, there were options on how much mana I could commit. The amount used partially determined how strong my Aura, my protective barrier, would be. Apparently my stats also had something to do with how strong my shield was, but Selene hadnt explained that part quite yet.

What she had told me was that I had a choice of using ten, twenty, or thirty percent of my total mana whenever I shifted. Using thirty percent of my mana would give me a barrier at full capacity, twenty percent would give it about eighty percent capacity, and ten percent would give me only half capacity.

When Id asked Selene why a Magical Girl would want anything less than a full capacity Aura, shed explained it was a matter of mana consumption and context. In an ideal world, a MG would always be able to shift ahead of time, getting a full barrier and letting their mana replenish back to maximum before they fought. In emergency situations, however, having more mana might be more important than having a full barrier. For instance, Magical Girls who mainly relied on magic might value having more mana for their spells than the passive protection of their aura, especially since they would be attacking from a distance.

The other benefit of using less mana was it apparently sped up the transformation sequence. Interestingly, the actual transformation sequence made the Magical Girl fairly impervious to harm due to the amount of mana being released, but in emergencies it was obviously better to transform quicker. If I used the minimum ten percent of my maximum mana, it was almost an instantaneous shift while thirty percent it took around six or seven seconds.

Realistically, there wasnt any reason for me not to do a full shift, so I reached within myself into the gentle warmth centered in my chest. The mana itself reminded me of water, but it thrummed with a gentle heat between the imaginary fingers I grasped it with. Gathering the amount I needed, I let out a slow, measured breath as I connected it to the empty construct of my Astral Shift.Updated from novelb(i)n.c(o)m

Shift, I whispered, and a sudden void opened up inside me as my gathered mana disappeared in a rush, violet light flashing around me.

Beneath my feet a magic circle formed, the same heptagram pattern with overlapping runes, circles, and moon symbology filling the symbol to the brim. I crossed my arms over my chest as familiar black and amethyst thorns of lighting burst upwards from the circle, crackling with electricity. Some of the thorns reached up, forming a partial cage around me even as energy arced between the strands and myself. Other thorns snapped directly to me, wrapping around myself even as my clothes appeared to disintegrate into motes of purple light wherever the baleful electricity touched.

I knew that my clothes werent really being destroyed, just being turned into energy and stored within my soul gem, but it didnt make the feeling of my clothes swiftly vanishing any less startling. I managed not to let out a yelp only because of Selene having me do practice runs, but it was a near thing.

The purple-black energy was quick to replace the portions being shunted away, energy solidifying into cloth. I did my best not to pay attention, simply holding my breath as the light show played out around me. A few uncomfortable moments later, the shift finished with an electrical snap.

Silence followed, and I shivered, my new clothes hugging me with a supernatural softness. Looking down at myself, I was relieved to see I was wearing the outfit Selene and I had settled on. It wasnt like I was expecting her to trick me, but after the initial incident, I was a little on edge. Thankfully, my worry was unfounded.

With Gildscales recommendations, actually creating my outfit had been mostly painless. We started with his first recommendation, trying for a mix between a modern and historical military uniform with a hint of frills. It took a few iterations to create something easily recognizable as a Magical Girl costume without it just looking like a military outfit. We had eventually made something that I was fairly pleased with, but Selene had insisted on trying at least one more combination, one she thought would work well.

Shed ended up going with Gildscales third recommendation, something cute in the Gothic lolita style. Id been incredibly uncomfortable at first, but as we went over the details, swapping things out that I didnt like, I slowly began to feel something.

Clothes were never a big deal to me. If they were cheap and comfortable, I was more than happy. But staring into the mirror of that dream world, looking at my finished outfit, I felt a giddy warmth flush through me. It wasnt that I felt pretty or beautiful, I knew I didnt have the looks for anything like that, but Id been left feeling satisfied? Excited? I wasnt sure what it was, and even though I was embarrassed at the thought of someone seeing me wearing this, actually wearing the outfit wasnt It wasnt the worst thing in the world.

And, all matters of what I looked like aside, the outfit was cute.

So, with a little nagging from Selene, we had decided that one. It took a little bit more time adding some additional ornaments, especially because Selene insisted on embarrassing me by taking time to pick out more customized and girly details even down to my underwear. Why that mattered when nobody would be seeing that particular part of my costume, I would never know, but it had been easier to just go along with Selenes enthusiasm than fight it, especially after she started monologuing.

Its not about other people seeing it, it's about YOU knowing youre wearing something cute and taking confidence, pride, and general happiness in that! Every piece of your outfit is part of a greater whole, seen or unseen! Fashion is the armament of your identity, of your very soul! It is part of a passive, inner strength for you to draw on, to build your confidence from and express your personality, even if it is to nobody but yourself! I refuse to let you leave here with an outfit consisting of anything less than perfect unity that resonates a beneficial psychological and spiritual cohesion!

It had quickly become clear I wasnt escaping, and so Id given up and endeavored to just finish that particular portion as quickly as possible. Selene at least seemed to acknowledge my extreme discomfort and hadnt prolonged my suffering too much.

The soft, drawn out word caused fire to dance across my face, but it seemed to break the frozen moment. Everglaive blinked, turning to give Naiad an amused look that made the other girl blush. Turning back to me, Everglaive gave me a nod and gentle smile.

I find myself agreeing with my teammate, you do look quite charming. Even knowing what Gildscales recommendations were, this final outcome has exceeded my expectations quite thoroughly. Im sure the public will be quite enthralled as well.

I wasnt sure if it was possible for my face to turn as scarlet as my eye, but I was pretty sure it was a fairly close approximation by now. A nervous, buzzing thrill tickled my chest, and I fiddled with my skirt a little more, unsure what to say.

Thankfully, Everglaive seemed to take mercy on me.

If you dont mind, I do have one question, she said carefully, turning partially to Naiad. The eyepatch. Were there some difficulties with your healing, or?

I felt myself freeze, realizing that besides Naiad, the rest of her team probably hadnt gotten a close look at my eye colors. Other than when I was wounded at the mall, Id kept my hair carefully arranged to hide it. Everglaive probably noticed my heterochromia being the only other one to look at me before I was put to sleep, but she had no way of knowing how my eye colors made me feel being exposed.

Freak. Creepy. Monster.

Naiad shook off her stupor, oblivious to the ugly swirl of thoughts in my head, a big grin still on her face.

Uh, nope, no complications. Its-

She stopped herself, something like realization flashing across her features. Her smile flickered for a moment as she turned to me with a pained look.

Oh! Im sorry! Do you usually wear an eyepatch to cover? I didnt even think about it, but with your normal haircut, I should have realized

She trailed off, and I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

Its okay, my voice came out strained. I do, but my hair covers it well enough.

Everglaive looked back to me with curiosity, and I gave a small shrug, looking away.

I have heterochromia, the words came out thick, and I had to spit them out. Blue and scarlet. Being manaborn makes it distinct.

Ah. Everglaive nodded, seemingly unphased. I believe I understand. Well, no matter the case, I believe the eyepatch goes with your outfit well. It helps give it an extra, distinguishing feature for people to latch onto. Your heterochromia will also give you a beneficial feature should you ever need to remove your eyepatch.

I bit down on my lip, giving another small shrug as I looked down at the ground. Selene had suggested the same thing, that I might even consider removing my eyepatch anytime I got into combat to give me some sort of dramatic flair, but

Well, I think you look great either way, Naiad said cheerily. And with your costume all settled, we can take you out on your first patrol! That is, if you still want to. I know setting up your first Astral Shift can be a bit draining, so if you want to reschedule?

I quickly shook my head. Nerves aside, I knew if I put this off, the discomfort would only grow stronger. It was better to get this over with now. Besides, I could hardly impose on them any more than I already had.

N-no, its okay.

Naiad grinned, and the edges of Everglaives lips turned up in a soft smile.

Very well then. I suppose the last thing to ask you is what your alias, your Magical Girl name will be. While we could come up with something temporary, choosing one now would certainly be the simplest solution.

I gave a hesitant nod, trying to steady myself. This was one of the things Selene and I had discussed while making my costume, but I still felt unsure about it. We had talked over a few names, but ultimately, we were limited by the fact that I was both a Dark Magical Girl and that I wanted to use guns. My costume helped reconcile both those things, but Selene was afraid even a more neutral name might not fit well.

Ultimately, what had helped finalize the choice was when we checked the shape of my pupils after I transformed and found them to be crescent moons. Combined with my outfit and the repeated moon symbology in both my magic circle and the temporary emblem Selene made me, the choice had seemed obvious. It also helped that Error Machina had already suggested the name.

And no, it had nothing to do with him saying it was a cute name.

Nothing at all.

Looking up at the two more experienced Magical Girls, I tried to calm my nerves. Giving a short little bow, I forced myself to give my name, even if it did make me feel ridiculous. Logically, I knew my name was perfectly within the norm for most Magical Girls, but saying the words out loud still made me feel stupid. Unfortunately, between twenty-one years of actual Magical Girls existing and the genre already having been established in media, having an extravagant or cutesy name was pretty much expected. By that measure, most of Fantasy Fatale was incredibly tame.

To be fair, by Magical Girl standards, my name was too, especially considering some of the names out there like Super Velocity Cat Ranger, Hyper Kinetic Railgun, or Eternal Starlight Nova.

So, really, it wasnt that far out there, even if it still did feel embarrassing.

Moon Bunny, I blurted out. My name is Magical Girl Moon Bunny. Its a pleasure to be working with you.

Risking a glance up at the two, I was met with a beaming smile from Naiad, and something approaching actual warmth on Everglaives face.

Likewise. I hope to do great things together, Moon Bunny.