CH 8

Chapter 8: P. Boundary-Crossing Soda

Everything in this world has a price.

Su Hui did not enjoy taking his medicine, especially during his mania period.

He was fond of the self who was passionate and full of creativity. So, each process of taking his medicine as per his family’s orders was like unusually difficult withdrawals — problems were many,  and he had little determination.

Compared to being at home, attending school was in fact the only time he enjoyed freedom. Even if the driver was always behind and keeping an eye on him, at least on campus, Su Hui could move freely without needing to care that much.

Professor Wang, who taught classes for his major, took very good care of him. Not only did he think his grades were good, he even treated him as a normal student and not part of any “special” group of people.

Upon seeing Su Hui after a long absence, he went out of his way to ask him after class, “Recently, we have a cross-disciplinary research topic. The thesis may potentially be sent for the conference this year. Do you want to join?”

Su Hui was very keen, but he worried that he’d drag the entire group down. However, Professor Wang was of a different opinion.

“Among the students right now, we’re just lacking someone who has strong writing skills in English like you. Getting a good result is important, but the paper has to be written well too so that the reviewers can read it with ease.”

Persuaded, Su Hui agreed. And so, Professor Wang advised him to start an impromptu meeting with the other students.

Four in the afternoon, Su Hui came to the small classroom for their meeting per request. Door half-ajar, he knocked on it, about to go in himself. But he didn’t expect the door to open from the inside.

The next second, he was met with Ning Yixiao’s face without any warning. The latter seemed surprised too as he stood still for a moment.

“Are you writing a thesis together with Wang-laoshi [1] too?” Su Hui spoke up first, the corners of his lips forming a curve.

Ning Yixiao nodded. “Yes.” He smiled too, pulling open the door and stepping aside to let Su Hui in.

“This project requires a script to compile the statistics. Wang-laoshi conducts a statistics class with us and since he asked if I want to try a cross-major project, I agreed.”

He explained some but then felt a slight regret. Su Hui didn’t ask, so he didn’t have to say that much.

When he looked back, Ning Yixiao spotted his laptop on the table. He had gotten it from a second-hand goods market. The brand log on the back had already chipped off. He would not usually think much of it. But at this moment, he found it glaring.

Su Hui tended to sit alone at the corner during classes and had never been someone’s deskmate. So, this time, out of habit, he sat in the row in front of Ning Yixiao too.

“I see. I was also called over by Wang-laoshi only today.” Su Hui smiled and looked back at Ning Yixiao. “It’s tough to do cross-disciplinary projects, right? If I have to do something related to computing now, I might not have the slightest inkling of where to start.”

These were words easy to respond to, but Ning Yixiao gazed at his face and spoke up as if under a spell, “You don’t look like a finance major either.”

He could not envision Su Hui as those Wall Street Elites, donned in a full suit, along with a tie, walking through office buildings while working a job that took money from the cream of the crop.

“Really?” Su Hui’s eyes were sparkling — they were like the eyes of small animals which could not get used to a muddy, forestry environment. He moved closer a little, whispering to Nng Yixiao very softly, “Actually, I don’t like it either.”

In this close proximity, Ning Yixiao could dazedly smell the fragrance of tropical fruits on Su Hui. Strong, fragrant and sweet. He clenched his fists on the table and smiled. “Then why are you studying it?”

Su Hui’s expression turned into indifference, as if that was how things should be. “Because I can’t choose.”

Looking at his face, Ning Yixiao was a little dazed.

All of a sudden, he remembered a testy professor of a certain specialized field that he had during his second year. He often beat down his students’ personalities, and there were very few who could stand him.

And this specialized course was graded based on a test paper as well as an experiment. Instead of the highly valued marking system, most of the score for the experiment was dependent on the teacher’s subjective impression. So, there were not many who could successfully pass the class.

In order to obtain the grade that he desired, Ning Yixiao had exercised the greatest tolerance. Practically everyone had been forced back by this bad-tempered professor. After all, everyone could not stand being ridiculed over a long period of time. Especially in a place filled with gifted students.

But Ning Yixiao could. Faced with shrill shouts, he nodded and obeyed orders. In the end, he obtained the grade that he wanted too.

Even that teacher could not help but say that Ning Yixiao was the most well-behaved student who understood the most where exactly he stood.

Even now, he still didn’t know if that was praise or not.

As he spaced out, Professor Wang and another student came in. Likely to liven up the atmosphere, they started joking about the two of them.

“Oh, you two are already so close? Then I guess you don’t need me to help everyone break the ice.”

Looking at Professor Wang’s smile, Ning Yixiao felt a little complicated. His gaze focused in front of him. First, he looked at the passionfruit juice in Su Hui’s transparent cup, and then his back that was within an arm’s length.

Like a dream that had finally dissipated, those bruises on the back of Su Hui’s neck were no longer present. His earlobes were thin, healthily colored by blood. There was a small hole in the inside.

Just as he was wondering when Su Hui had gotten a piercing, he suddenly noticed it. He realized that he had thought too far and too much.

The presupposition of even having an ice-breaker was that the ice needed to be broken.

Ning Yixiao could keenly sense something in between him and Su Hui. This was very odd. It was a layer of ice that had never appeared in any of the social relationships he had encountered. It was very thin, one where both of them could seemingly touch the moment they reached out. But in the instant his hand extended, he could discern obvious danger.

The other student who recently arrived was called Zhang Shuo, also a finance major. He was Professor’s Wang’s favorite pupil.

Top students loved getting to the bottom of things. He was very interested in Ning Yixiao’s tools for computing as well as his person. As such, his questions never stopped. Ning Yixiao tried to muster up the best of his patience, but his attention was on Su Hui who was conversing with Professor Wang.

When Su Hui spoke, his tone was always extremely light and relaxed. Even if he was the one leading the conversation and talked incessantly about something, it never exuded a forceful demeanor. It was the opposite; he was always very gentle. It was attractive.

“Oh, right. When I was in a seminar, someone brought up your grandfather. I heard his health hasn’t been good. How is he now?” Professor Wang asked in concern.

Ning Yixiao gazed at Su Hui’s back, hearing him answer very softly, “I don’t know either.”

He was not like others, who would practice social niceties and say “much better, thank you for your concern”. Instead, he would frankly say he didn’t know.

Su Hui smiled, looking up at Professor Wang. “My grandfather has always been very strong-willed in front of me. Even when he’s sick, he looks the same. I hope he’s fine.”

As their gazes met each other, Professor Wang paused before he grinned. “Your grandfather did that for you.”

Su Hui did not deny that. “Yup, it’s for my own good.”

Both of them did not continue. Professor Wang changed to another topic aptly and started the meeting. He gave a heavy load of content. Su Hui was worried that his mind would float away too fast and could not hold onto it, so he took out his laptop to record down the tasks that Professor Wang mentioned.

In summary, he hoped Su Hui could help Ning Yixiao write an English thesis, while Zhang Shuo was responsible for collecting sufficient data.

“Get along with each other.” Professor Wang patted Su Hui’s shoulder, telling him, “Yixiao is a very hardworking child. Talk to him more. Maybe by the time the thesis is completed, you’d also know how to code.”

Su Hui had a smile on his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to agree internally. He did not want to learn how to code at all.

But he was very willing to spend time with Ning Yixiao.

On the way out, Zhang Shuo was still seeking guidance from Ning Yixiao, and Ning Yixiao responded energetically and amicably too, explaining it the entire journey.

Su Hui followed behind the two, a mere two steps away, emitting a quietness that did not quite fit this current episode. He really wanted to go out to get some air on the school lawns and lie there.

“Now that you explained it like that, I understand now. Thanks, Yixiao.” Zhang Shuo subconsciously wanted to put an arm around Ning Yixiao’s shoulder in a hug, but it proved a little difficult with their height difference. So, he scratched his head, laughing, “Hey, let’s have a meal together. I recently found a really delicious restaurant near the tech park. Can you eat spicy food?”

Su Hui’s thoughts were jumping all around, mentally answering the question that had nothing to do with him — I can’t eat spicy, I can’t handle it at all. To the extent that I need the hotpot to be washed thrice with clean water before I can even eat.

He wanted to immediately be at the lawn, so he quickened his pace, planning to overtake the two and leave this place first.

But when he was just short of succeeding, his arm was grabbed.

He looked back to meet Ning Yixiao’s deep eyes.

Next was his very soft voice, “Wait.”

Ning Yixiao turned back and gave Zhang Shuo an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can today. I just remembered that Wang-laoshi assigned me a translation of a document. I have to work on that with Su Hui now.”

Hearing that, Zhang Shuo immediately showed a face of understanding. “You still have work to do? No worries. We’ll have plenty of chances in the future. Let’s eat out together next time.” After that, he circled around Ning Yixiao to tell Su Hui too, “Xiao Hui, you should come too.”

It was Su Hui’s first time hearing a student from the same major call him like this. He didn’t agree to it, simply smiling at him.

“Bye.” Ning Yixiao looked at his vanishing back, the smile on his face fading slightly.

“Why aren’t you going to eat with him?” Su Hui looked up at him and said very straightforwardly, “Do we have other assignments?”

Ning Yixiao did not answer him immediately and let him go.

“Treat me to a drink. Did you forget?”

He gave Su Hui a smile that was different from before, as if he was saying, “You agreed to it before.”

Su Hui stared at his gaze, a rather peculiar smile surfacing on his face. He blinked. “I nearly forgot. What do you want to drink?”

“Did you bring enough money today?” Ning Yixiao headed outside, a smile in his voice.

Su Hui acknowledged very softly. “I haven’t spent money yet today. At first, I wanted to buy some tools, but I was called over suddenly. I don’t know if the store is closed yet if I go now.”

He began to chatter about unrelated things again. But Ning Yixiao didn’t find it weird.

The burning color of dusk in the horizon landed on his face. Even those small down were streaked with light gold. Ning Yixiao watched Su Hui speak, his lips opening and closing, finding him just like a flower.

“Oh right. I know this one soda tastes really good. It’s grapefruit-flavored.” Su Hui jumped to another topic again, leading Ning Yixiao to a convenience store with quick, light steps.

His collar was always very big. With his top wrapped around him, it restricted him. It failed to do the expected job of an ornament, because he was already very pretty in the first place.

When Su Hui gazed into the distance, his eyes looked fathomless. But when he turned to look at him, he would exude naivety and innocence.

Ning Yixiao said sure after a beat.

Upon entering the store, Ning Yixiao followed Su Hui, seeing him weave through a huge row of goods, towards the fridge with a straight back. He firmly looked for a while and took out a light pink drink. Then, he subconsciously reached for others, taking many different types of drinks.

Next, as if he had just jolted awake from a dream, he stopped and stood on the spot. Then with reddened ears, he put back all of the additional drinks.

“It’s this one.” In the end, Su Hui only took the very first one. Spinning around, he headed to the cashier with light and quick steps and took out some bills and coins to pay.

“Try it.” He attempted to twist open the bottle cap, but the side effects of lithium salts had not gone down yet. He could not put strength in his grip.

“Let me do it. It’s hard to open these types of bottles.” Although Ning Yixiao said it was hard, he practically used no strength and easily twisted it open. He raised his head to take a big gulp, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

Seated next to each other on the bench at the entrance of the convenience store, Su Hui looked at him with a tilted head. The night winds had blown the incredibly faint detergent smell of Nin Yixiao’s clothes on his face, like an ocean wave mixed with lime and grapefruit.

“It’s quite refreshing. Not very sweet.” Ning Yixiao put down the bottle and gave a very simple review.

“Really?” Su Hui looked at him and honestly said, “Actually, I’ve never drank it before.”

Ning Yixiao’s eyes instinctively narrowed. “That’s not what you said earlier.”

“Many people recommended it. Everyone said it tastes good.” Su Hui leaned on the bench, eyes on a child that was playing with a ball not far away. His tone was indifferent. “But they don’t allow me to drink beverages, so I’ve only just heard about this so far.”

“Your grandfather?” Ning Yixiao guessed.

Su Hui acknowledged with an “mhm” and played down the truth, “Because my health isn’t good.”

“That’s true. Too many additives isn’t healthy.”

When he heard Ning Yixiao say this based on a logical dedication, it was just like hearing Professor Wang say “he did that for you”.

But the difference was that when it was Ning Yixiao, it seemed to impact his mood more.

Su Hui was feeling baffled at this situation when all of a sudden, a hand holding the carbonated beverage had extended to him. He looked up at Ning Yixiao.

“But trying once every now and then is fine, right? This degree of additives is basically nil.”

There was no smile on his face, but his voice was very gentle.

He raised his head to take a big gulp. The gas-filled sweet liquid flowed into his body, and along with his heart beat, it bubbled.

“How do you find it?” Ning Yixiao asked.

Su Hui accidentally choked, breaking out into a coughing fit. Upon recovering and panting to catch his breath, his face was completely red, lips full and wet.

He looked at Ning Yixiao and laughed. He didn’t comment on the carbonated drink.

“Did you know? Your tone just now was like pampering a child.”

“I was just saying it offhandedly.” Ning Yixiao looked at him. “Since you can’t drink any single beverage, then they probably disallow smoking even more, right?”

Su Hui replied naturally, “Of course I was smoking in secret.”

He stretched his neck back, squinting under the setting sun. “Smoking makes me happy, happier than drinking beverages. Since I’ll get punished if they discover I did either of the two, then I rather do what I want to do more. Even if there’s a greater price to pay.”

“Everything in this world has a price anyway.”

After saying that, Su Hui opened his eyes in some difficulty, looking at Ning Yixiao. “What about you? Do you know how to smoke?”

Ning Yixiao didn’t say yes, nor did he say no. He just said, “I don’t smoke.”

To Ning Yixiao, smoking was too much of a waste. It was a waste of money and a waste of time too.

What was most terrifying was that tobacco would remind him of many upsetting memories in his childhood. In the room of wisps of tobacco smoke, what awaited him was either his mother’s sobs or punches that were not pulled back.

“That’s very good.” Su Hui expressed agreement. “Don’t learn. It’s bad for your body. Your health is the most important. If you smoke too much, you’ll get really bad headaches.”

He looked like he was drunk. Ning Yixiao lowered his head, looking at Su Hui’s hand. His index and middle finger were adorned with small golden rings.

“Then what about you?” Ning Yixiao asked. “What about your health?”

Su Hui laughed. “It’s fine for me. It can’t get that bad.” After saying that, he stood up as though he was going to leave.

“I have to go back now.” Su Hui said, “Thank you for treating me to congee the other time.”

Ning Yixiao stood up too. “I’m going out too. Let’s go together.”

The two walked through the tree-lined path, the gap between them occasionally large and occasionally small.

Su Hui suddenly spoke up, “Did the programs you wrote give good results?”

NIng Yixiao was already used to his sudden changes of topic. After some thought, he answered, “That depends on how you define good or bad. Based on our current targets, the predicted result is still quite close to the results evaluated by professionals. No matter how it is, these programs will have their uses, especially during data collection.”

Hearing his words, Su Hui nodded and asked a question that came out of nowhere. “Then when can they completely replace humans?”

Ning Yixiao broke out into laughter at his question. “You want it to completely replace humans? At least, right now, I can’t do it.”

“I don’t want to do this kind of job.” Su Hui carried on talking by himself. “It’ll be nice if this job is eliminated after a few years.”

Mysteriously, Ning Yixiao did not find his overactive imagination weird.

“You can choose not to do it. As long as that’s what you want.” Ning Yixiao’s voice held a different feeling from before. “Computing won’t be able to help you. I can’t either. Only you can make the decision.”

Su Hui stopped speaking then. He was silent for a long time until they nearly reached the school gate.

When it was time for them to split up, Su Hui subconsciously searched for his family car with his eyes. The orange setting sun had blurred his vision.

Where was it?

All of a sudden, he heard Ning Yixiao’s voice.

“The paper napkin you gave me before was drenched by the rain. I couldn’t read the number.”

Probably because it was hard to utter, Ning Yixiao didn’t look at him, just going on with speaking and walking forward. He didn’t even notice that Su Hui had stopped walking.

Upon receiving no reply, Ning Yixiao turned his head to find no one beside him.

Did he get angry?

He turned around, only to discover Su Hui still standing at a spot four or five steps behind him, head lowered.

But before he spoke again, Su Hui raised his head, taking a quick few steps towards him. “Here.”

Ning Yixiao took it. It was an empty cigarette box torn open, with two lines of words scribbled with a ballpoint.

“How about this?”

The flying birds on the school gate flew through the sky, leaving behind shadows on Su Hui’s clear pair of eyes. “It was my first time leaving these for someone, and I didn’t have any experience. It does look hard to preserve if it’s on a napkin. So sorry.”

Ning Yixiao was taken aback.

After saying that, Su Hui laughed again. “But a cigarette box doesn’t seem any better either.”

“Oh well. There’s really no other paper that I could write on.” He came closer again. The engines of vehicles were revving and the crowd were pushing past each other. And between the two of them was only just the glimmer of the setting sun.

Su Hui’s voice was gentle and soft, dissipating in the wind.

“You can just contact me a little earlier then.”

Translator Notes

[1] 老师 (laoshi) means teacher and serves as a term of address here.

——

Cai: Happy new year to everyone! Hoping all your wishes for the coming year comes true!