CH 10

Chapter 10: P. Icelandic Popsicle

You take things so seriously.

Before Ning Yixiao spoke, Su Hui thanked him lightheartedly. “You can go back to what you were doing. I’ll stop bothering you.”

He didn’t have the habit of saying “see you”, because he can’t guarantee that he would still be able to see them again properly. After Ning Yixiao said “alright”, Su Hui hung up the call.

This was a very difficult feat. During his mania period, he was practically unable to hang up calls of his own accord. He always talked and talked — incessantly, with his thoughts akin to a sprinting deer. Even if the other party told him to stop, he could not stop himself.

But as he spoke with Ning Yixiao, Su Hui keenly sensed the emotions in his silence. He made a sudden realization then that grasping tightly on him and not letting go looked just like he was holding onto his lifeline.

This was not right. So, Su Hui forcibly cut off his desire to express himself.

He wanted to be a normal person in front of Ning Yixiao.

After hanging up the call, Ning Yixiao stood alone on the balcony for a moment. It was only when he glanced at the time that he decided to return to the student’s room. But he had likely opened the door too abruptly; as the student seated inside was lifting up his shirt, twisting to look at his own back.

So, the first thing Ning Yixiao saw after he pushed open the door was a bruise on the side of his waist.

“What happened, Xiaochen?”

Ding Xiaochen put down his shirt in panic, turning to Ning Yixiao, mumbling, “It’s nothing”.

Ning Yixiao had tutored him in mathematics for a semester and was well aware that he was a kind but timid child. Seeing that he wouldn’t tell him, he didn’t probe him further. He sat down on his chair. “Have you finished all of the practice questions I assigned you earlier?”

“I still have two more.” Ding Xiaochen answered quietly.

Ning Yixiao nodded. “I’ll take a look at the ones you’ve finished first.”

As though he didn’t see anything, he checked Ding Xiaochen’s work and marked the answers. Finally, he picked out some classic questions and went through them with him, helping him to strengthen his knowledge.

The class was almost over. Ding Xiaochen buried himself in making notes. Ning Yixiao glanced at the time before he looked back at the young boy’s thin and fragile frame. 

“Laoshi, I’ve noted them down.”

“Mhm.” Ning Yixiao nodded. He got up to leave, but when he just opened the door, he stood there quietly with his back to him. Then he closed the bedroom door and turned to look at Ding Xiaochen.

“What was that wound on your back?”

Ding Xiaochen looked up at him. The current Ning-laoshi didn’t seem quite the same as before. His face didn’t don a warm smile and looked calm and expressionless.

He hesitated for a long while. But due to his reliance on him built from their time spent together, he still told Ning Yixiao the full details.

Explaining it was very simple. Just a single sentence sufficed as a clear explanation: Ding Xiaochen’s father was a drunkard and had been committing long-term domestic abuse to him and his mother.

In his fifth grade of elementary school, his father had encountered difficulties in his business. The setbacks had led him to drink frequently. And he had a terrible temper as a drunkard. He would rebuke both his mother and him. The moment they retorted, what they received was a beating and scolding. After a long time, this turned into the father’s way to vent. This was true even until now.

Ning Yixiao had met his father only a handful of times. His impression of him was just that he was a man of few words who rarely inquired about his child’s grades. Only Ding Xiaochen’s mother worried about it; his father was entirely unconcerned.

But Ning Yixiao did not expect him to do this to his own biological child.

He knew well that he should not get involved in this — it was beyond his power to do anything either — but Ning Yixiao still stepped in. Perhaps it was because he was reminded of himself in the past the instant he saw Ding Xiaochen checking his wound alone.

That day, he bought medicine for the wound for Ding Xiaochen. On the way home, he ruminated for a very long time and wrote a long text to Ding Xiaochen. The rough idea was to teach him how to avoid being hit as well as provide some encouragement. For example, he was already growing up, and although it was hard to get through things, he had to learn to be strong to protect himself and his mother.

But Ning Yixiao who had similar experiences understood most clearly that there was no helping this. Even filing a police report would not do much.

If there existed a familial relation or a marriage certificate, any violent behavior, no matter how severe, could become acceptable. And so, the true sense of a crime would easily be buried.

In the few days following this, Ning Yixiao still attended school and ran tests as usual.

At school, he constantly helped out his teachers. Whenever he might be needed, he would agree, with no worry of how tiring or exhausting it was for him. And this time, he received repayment — he managed to receive an internship offer at a big manufacturer. So, Ning Yixiao’s tensely paced life finally relaxed slightly.

He first quit his cafe job, settled his pay and then searched for an apartment based on the rental information provided on the internet, hoping to find a cheap place for short-term rental during summer in costly Beijing.

A week later, Professor Wang called him to his student group, so Ning Yixiao sat in the last row, behind over ten research students.

In this student group meeting, he met Su Hui again. This time, Su Hui wasn’t too late. He hurried in before Professor Wang arrived. He looked to be in a good mood, donned in a very soft pink short-sleeved shirt. The contrast made his skin seem incomparably pale. When he pushed open the door, his face was radiant.

Ning Yixiao noticed his hands were behind him and his steps were light. Something seemed to be flashing on his earlobe, drawing his eyes. Ning Yixiao could only see it clearly when Su Hui walked closer. It was a small silver heart.

Leisurely, Su Hui smiled as he sat down next to Ning Yixiao as though he was already used to doing this. He put down his bag and greeted him a lively good morning.

Ning Yixiao came back to himself. He was about to return the greeting when he saw him extend a bouquet of flowers to him seemingly from thin air.

It was a very small bouquet — one that he could hold with just a hand. It contained three blooming pinkish-white Chinese peonies that emitted a refreshing fragrance.

“For you,” Su Hui said very softly. “Thank you for hearing me out last time.”

Ning Yixiao quickly remembered Su Hui’s sticky but light voice in the phone call, recalling the ants that he mentioned.

“Hold it well.” Su Hui pushed this bouquet of flowers in his hands. “I wrapped it myself. It might not look that great, but the flowers bloomed so nicely. I took so long to pick them in the garden that I was nearly late.”

Ning Yixiao was not used to receiving flowers at all. On Valentine’s Day, he couldn’t avoid receiving some public or anonymous gifts, but Ning Yixiao’s attitude had always been cold. His first reaction was being at a loss of what he should do.

Most gifts were of no use. And flowers were the most useless, with a very short period to appreciate it. They’d wither in just a few days.

At this stage of his life, romance was far too superfluous.

Lowering his eyes to stare at the flowers in his hands, Ning Yixiao suddenly wondered, why did he strangely think of romance?

“This is the last batch of Chinese peonies. This one’s called Icelandic Popsicle [1], a type that I really like.”  His finger pointed at one. It could completely be described as vibrantly decorated. Overlapping layers after layers of snow-white imbued with slight pink. Ning Yixiao’s gaze couldn’t help but shift from the flower to Su Hui’s pink fingertips.

“It looks very pretty, doesn’t it?” Su Hui lowered his eyes. When he smiled, he looked like a child. “This is Arabian jasmine and is really fragrant. I tended to it for a very long time. The rain some time ago nearly damaged the flowers. But thankfully, Auntie Chen helped me salvage them. But there were still a few that withered…”

He chattered on softly until Professor Wang came in. Then he turned his body into a proper sitting posture, taking out his laptop and very obediently looked forward.

Ning Yixiao shifted his hand down a little, staring down at the wrapping paper in his hands only to realize there were words on it. Along the coarse borders were traces of it being torn.

This looked like a page from a book that Su Hui had torn spontaneously and used to wrap the flowers.

In this one-hour meeting, Ning Yixiao’s mind was more unrestrained than usual. He rarely did not focus all his attention on the topic. Instead, he listened as he coded, as though he was forcing himself to concentrate through this method.

When the meeting was almost over, as he stared at the page of the running code, his mind was still thinking about the final line on the paper:

[The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it ①.]

After the meeting, all of them stayed back a little longer. Professor Wang asked for their thoughts after the meeting and then talked a little more about the thesis framework and the test results.

It was already 11.30 in the morning when they left. The sun today was good, its light splashing on Su Hui’s pretty face through the gaps between the greens’ shadows. He was virtually glowing.

Su Hui walked in front, chatting with Professor Wang about a paper he read. When he spoke, he occasionally raised his hands and did some child-like movements.

“Yixiao?”

When Zhang Shuo had called him for the third time next to him, Ning Yixiao finally pulled himself back. He looked over and smiled at him. “Mhm, continue. I’m listening.”

Zhang Shuo chuckled too. He didn’t notice anything and told him about the problems he encountered when attempting to adjust the coding, just short of taking out his laptop to get Ning Yixiao to help out right on the spot.

Everyone walked until they almost arrived at the building where Professor Wang had to depart from the group for. Zhang Shuo also happened to have an optional class in the same building, so he left with the professor.

Suddenly, only Ning Yixiao and Su Hui were left.

Su Hui looked back at him, a very adorable smile on his face. He took a big step backwards to Ning Yixiao’s right. His voice was very soft. “Did you hide my flowers?”

Ning Yixiao could practically smell the pleasant fragrance of nature on him. He nodded, a smile on his lips. “I put them in my school bag.”

For that reason, he was holding his books and laptop in his hands.

“Wouldn’t that squash them?” Su Hui pretended to be very anxious. He came closer. “Don’t squish my flowers.”

Ning Yixiao was taken aback. He wanted to remove his bag, but Su Hui’s hands were already raised, pressing down right on his wrist.

“I was just joking,” Su Hui couldn’t help but giggle. He let go. “You take things so seriously.”

“It’s fine if they were squashed.” Su Hui looked at him. Ning Yixiao’s facial features were chiseled. When he was not smiling, he looked very serious and very cold. The mole at the edge of his right eye was the only gentle part of him.

“I still have more.”

Many more that I could give you.

Ning Yixiao didn’t respond again. The weight of the books and laptop seemed capable of flattening his body and pushing his heart to the right.

He began to imagine the garden that Su Hui had. This didn’t seem to be a good sign.

After walking shoulder to shoulder for a long time, Su Hui had to leave. He took out a piece of candy from his pocket, meticulously peeling away the wrapper paper and shoving it in his mouth. Then, he looked up, subconsciously looking at Ning Yixiao.

“Do you want one?” His eyes were very bright.

Ning Yixiao did not enjoy sweet food. He wanted to say no, but Su Hui’s clenched fist was already extended to him.

“It tastes really nice,” he said.

Ning Yixiao could only accept it then. It was a piece of candy.

“I’m going now.”

Once again, Su Hui was gone before he was prepared for it. His steps were light and quick, just like how it was when he arrived. He left Ning Yixiao standing at the same spot, palm open.

He stared at the wrapping paper and suddenly realized it looked a little familiar.

His memory was pulled back to a brilliant sunny day not too long ago. Back then, he was still working his part-time cafe job and had been clearing tables when he noticed an additional candy in the food plate that he had brought over.

He did not remember how that customer looked. He only remembered he was very thin, very pale, and wore his cap very low.

The wrapping paper of the candy was spotted in vibrant colors. It was very pretty. When he returned to the kitchen, his part-time colleague even teased him, saying she was surprised he liked sweets. She even commented that this candy wasn’t cheap and was custom-made in Sweden. It was difficult to even buy it.

In the years that Ning Yixiao lived, the places he visited could be counted with a hand. From the small fishing village to a county seat, and then to the capital. It was so bland that he could only draw a particularly sharp triangle on the map. Much less northern Europe where snow drifted all around.

So, he remembered this candy for a long time. Because that was a rare token of appreciation he received when he worked.

Ning Yixiao recalled the overly cold temperature back then, remembered that customer’s voice that was so soft it was barely audible, as well as his snow-white hands.

He had never expected that he’d once again receive a precious piece of candy, and expected even less that the person back then was Su Hui.

No wonder.

Ning Yixiao’s steps stopped, seemingly frozen in frame right before the dormitory, where people passed by.

He finally understood why he felt strange when he left the theater room, when he was under the same umbrella as Su Hui.

[Ning Yixiao, you have a mole here.]

Back then, he clearly did not introduce himself. So, Su Hui should not have known his name.

But he did. He knew it long ago.

A strange feeling was brimming up in Ning Yixiao, and it lasted even until he reached his floor.

The dorm was empty. He rummaged for a long while but still did not find anything that could function as a flower vase. So, he headed downstairs again to buy a bottle of mineral water. He twisted open the cap, drinking it as he returned to the dorm.

Finally, Ning Yixiao cut open the plastic bottle and half-filled it. Then, he removed the wrapping paper from the bouquet, flattening it to keep it safely. He put the pretty, fragile flowers in the bottle, but no matter how he adjusted the stalks, it did not look as nice as how Su Hui had wrapped it.

Their beauty was completely unbefitting of this place. Even where they rested was simply in a plastic bottle. Cheap and unstable. It looked utterly unsuitable.

He gazed at it for a very long time even until the return of his roommates, who immediately made a fuss upon seeing it. “Where’d the flowers come from?”

“Tsk, things are just different when you’re handsome. Someone gave you flowers again, and this time, we don’t need to help you deal with it?”

Another roommate even specifically came over to gossip. “Hey, how was it? Is she pretty? [2]”

He didn’t speak, leaning back on the chair as he silently and intently stared at the Icelandic Popsicle.

The roommate urged him again. “Tell me, handsome boy. It’s your first time bringing back and keeping the flowers. Who gave it to you? I’m dying of curiosity here. Is she pretty or not?”

This time, Ning Yixiao finally responded. His gaze was deep, tone calm. “Yes, pretty. Are you happy now?”

The author has something to say:

① Originates from Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Translator Note:

[1] This flower doesn’t seem to be named as such in English. It seems to be the Odile peony. However, we directly translated the name of the flower instead as the name will be important later on.

[2] In the raws, the gender wasn’t specified. But in the interest of making the dialogue flow and taking into account how his roommates’ attitude was to homosexuality, we specified the female gender.