Chapter 814: The Mentor and the Student
Does everything have to be a puzzle, Baelin? Alex sighed. He remembered Professor Jules words about old beings turning everything into a riddle. At this moment, he found himself agreeing with her complaints.
Strongly.
To make a point, it often does, though for my own amusement can also be a side benefit, but more to the point the chancellor smiled. Let us say I outright give you the answer, just tell you how I chose what to do with my life. Since I am well aware that you respect me a great deal, Alex, I would be concerned with the possibility that you would take my information to heart without examining it too thoroughly for yourself. You are very thorough in many ways, but when it comes to choosing what you wish to do with your future, you mightout of fear for what comes nextsimply grasp onto the first piece of advice that you find fits you.
You mean like a drowning man finding and desperately clinging onto a piece of driftwood, the General of Thameland offered. You're worried I'll just take an answer from you and use it for my own life because Im scared?NewW novels updates at novelhall.com
Indeed, Baelin said. Better, that you lead yourself to a conclusion about my life, and your own, rather than me simply providing you with an easy answer. In that way, you can choose to accept what I say, or reject it. If you accept it, it will be because you have thought it over for yourself and will then know how or even if, to apply it for your own life. To make it your own. Furthermore, it has been over a year since we have had one of these discussions. And I am having fun, so permit an old man his amusement.
Alex smiled, and rolled his eyes. This is like when you made me figure out a way to power Claygons golem core. I remember you didn't want to just give me an answer because you felt that would have been too easy. You wanted me to think my way to my own solution.
Baelin smiled warmly. And you harvested a mana vampire to empower your golem. Ah, simpler times. Now you have the might to facilitate the mana production of a dozen golem cores with ease.
Thats true Alex winced, remembering the mana vampire encounter. They were simpler times weren't they? But, then again, they weren't really all that simple. I had to come up with all kinds of different workarounds and strategies just to live my life back then. Now the challenges ahead of me are a lot bigger than any mana vampirebut, at least I dont have to come up with a bunch of fixes just to get things done.
Things have truly changed for you, haven't they? Baelin said.
They have Alex said. And I accomplished almost everything I wanted to since I left Alricthe one goal I have left is to get rid of the Ravener. I keep asking myself what I should do after that. He nodded to Baelin. Id like to be like you, Baelin, old, very powerful and very content.
Indeed, the chancellor said. Keep going.
Well, I dont know how to get there, what getting there even looks like for me. Alex said. You asked me what makes an old person content? But, each time I suggested something, you countered it with facts: some people would be content with a life of accomplishments, family, conquering and victory, knowledge, inner understanding and so onbut others wouldn't find contentment in those things. Im wondering if the right answer is that an older person feels content when they've lived a life well; but there are different definitions of what a life lived well looks like. He pressed his fingers to his temples, shaking his head.
Keep going. Baelin encouraged him.
Alex got up and began pacing. Everyone Ive talked to has had a different way of choosing a path for their life. And what one person found satisfying, another found terrible. Isolde is happy taking the same path she and her grandfather had talked about a long time ago; Khalik would find that path pretty dull. Professor Jules wants to spend her life in the lab, making alchemical discoveries, and keeping people safe; while you would probably find that really boring.
Ah, I believe youre trying to trick an answer out of me arent you? Baelin said smoothly. I will not say either way for myself, but I can say that there are plenty of adventurers who would find that path to be incredibly dreary. Unfulfilling.
Alex thought about Professor Jules friend whod been an adventurer until a trap brought her life to an end; Professor Ram sounded like hed done a lot of adventuring early in life, but now seemed quite content teaching at the university, and keeping to a quieter path.
Yeah, you're right, and damn you for not giving me a straight answer when I mentioned Professor Jules, Alex glowered at Baelin, who laughed. The point is that different lifepaths suit different people. Anddifferent people gain contentment from different lifepaths.
Alex thought about how Uldars Marks chose people best suited to their rolethough some didnt embrace the role. Cedric seemed to love being the Chosen, but Drestra wouldve been happier not being the Sage of Thameland.
The Mark of the Fool had chosen him, though he would have been better suited to the General, butstillhe didn't only want to be the General of Thameland. He wanted to be much more.
But what, exactly?
Baelin beamed in anticipation. I will not.
Then that's the answer! Alex slapped his forehead. You never chose a single life pathbecause you have infiniteor near-infinitelifetimes ahead and behind you! You could choose to be whatever you wanted, decade by decade, century by century! You could live hundreds of different lives, make different choices whenever you wanted to!
The chancellor began clapping. Yes! Very good! And what does that tell you about yourself?
Alex reflected on his own wants and needs, his past and his future. There's a lot of different things I want. I want to be an alchemist, I want to run my businesses and gain wealth, I want to see the world, I want to adventure, I want to raise a family, I want to learn more powerful spells, research magicI want to do all of it. And I understand that I don't have to choose just one! In a century, I could take a different path if I wanted to! I could return to a previous choice anytime I wanted. Im capable of lots of different things, so why would I choose just one, especially over a long lifetime?
Baelin looked proudly at Alex, then at his trophies. You have reached an understanding, I believe. Since you turned eighteen, your life has been one where your decisions and actions were hampered by the Fools Mark. While other young wizards were free to think about and plan for futures that were without forced restrictions, you obviously didnt have such freedom. In many ways, you were bound by what the Mark prevented you from doing. Since you were so limited, that is perhaps one reason why you gave no conscious thought to making a long term plan for your life, Alex. If the Fool had never constrained you, you would have lived your life freely, not ever considering not being allowed to do certain things, but many of your decisions were made with the restrictions you were under in the back of your mind. Your choices came mostly with limitations, and this is the first time since coming to Generasi that youve been unencumbered, and now, like your friends, you're free to decide your future without restrictions controlling your actions. Things you couldnt think about before, you can now. Youll have to get used to that. Congratulations! Ivebeen many things in my very, very long life: a hunter, a magician, an apprentice, a warrior, an advisor, a mercenary, a ruler, a sage, and nowa chancellor. I have lived entire lifetimes in one of those roles and then taken on another as easily as one would switch one's cloak. I did not choose my life path, Alex, becauseby the time I had such high thoughts about my own futureI had successfully found a way to extend my life. I knew I would not have to choose. And neither do you, in my opinion. Does this answer satisfy you?
Yes, it does Alex beamed. The difference is that Iwant to do certain things that you wouldnt. I want to spread the word about Hannah, for example, and help her grow in power.
Baelins smile faded a bit. Oh my, that is truly a much different choice than I would make.
You and I look at deities differently, Alex said. You see them as leeches, as you once said. You said they werent necessary, and just took power from mortals.
And I was quite right when it came to Uldar, was I not? Baelin raised an eyebrow.
You were, Alex said. But I don't think you're right about every deity. I don't think you're right about Hannah; she's using her power to help people, to protect them. That's not different from how I use my power to protect people, and how you use yours to protect your students.
Ah, but the power is mine, Baelin said. And your power is yours. Your might is not derived from syphoning faith from others, it is gained through your own spells, your sharp mind, and your other strengths. The same applies to me.
Yes, but if there's one thing I've learned from having the Mark of the Fool stamped on me, it's that power also comes from others, Alex said. My knowledge and strength came from you, my other teachers, and my cabal. A lot of my victories were because my friends were there. And I don't mean in some esoteric, I gained the power of friendship kinda way, I mean they were physically there to help me make the discoveries that made me more powerful. They were there to finish off enemies that were trying to kill me when I couldn't fight back properly. And even if you take them out of ittake you, and all the professors that helped give me the knowledge to make me who I amwhat about mana? It comes from my mana pool, but my mana pool probably formed because of some mana vent elsewhere in the world. Same with yours, and that of every other wizard, as far as we know. And where does that mana come from? Nobody knows.
Alex walked toward Baelin, spreading his hands. Hannah and different deities might gain their strength from faith, but we gain our strength from the effortof those that came before us Alex thought about Kelda. and then we become the strength for those who come after us. He thought of Selina. A Proper Wizard can handle a lot of things on their own, but you said that a Proper Wizard gets a good entourage.Thats gaining power from others, isn't it?
That is often reciprocal, and is different from the parasitic behaviour of deities, Baelin said impassively. And I must admit, I look at the power gained a little differently than you. It is true that many do gain strength and knowledge from those who came before, but I was without a doubt a bona fide pioneer. Much of what I learned about magic I had to gain through my own experimentation. There was very little knowledge of wizardry that came before me, because there were very few wizards that came before me on this world.
I can see your perspective, Alex said. But, I still think, you gained your mana from somewhere, right? It might not be quite the same as a deity using the power of faith, but if that deity then uses their divinity to protect their followersisn't that reciprocal too?
I do believe that a difference lies in the fact that faith can be utilised without a deity, Baelin countered. And if that is the casetake Thameland for examplewhat use is a deity? Your kingdom and priesthood function quite well without one.
Good point Alex said. But I still think they can be helpful. Maybe youre biased?
Ugh, now you sound like my cabal-members. Baelin rolled his goat-like eyes, then looked at Alex thoughtfully.
What is it? the young archwizard asked.
I am proud of you, Alex, the chancellor said. More than I can ever convey. And I am truly fortunate to have been your teacher up to this point, although missing this past year, a time so important in your journey, has left me more sorry than you will ever know.