CH 38

The news of the Emperor and Bedos’s love affair had spread far beyond the palace gates and among the people of the empire. Empress Lethenia was subjected to ridicule and disdain as a result of it.

He knew that there would be many who would complain that the Empress, who was originally from Bledel, had become a duck egg in the Nakdong River**. Rather than apologizing to the Empress, he has create a misunderstanding on his own.

[** Lowly position]

Anger boils from the depths of my heart.

“You’re taking too much interest in my personal life.”

“…….”

“It’s none of your business who I’m seeing, and it’s unfair that I’m being reprimanded by you and not anyone else. It’s nothing compared to having your wife’s maid as your mistress.”

Ian frowned slightly at the mention of Rosetin. Colin also looked elsewhere as if it was embarrassing to see the high-ranking couple fighting.

“Everyone in the palace knows,” I said, “that you’re going to make Rosetin your mistress soon. Isn’t that right?”

“That’s right.”

He did not deny it. His tone was clerical, as if stating the obvious. Rosetin was now more known as the Emperor’s mistress than the Empress’s maid.

As she spent more time in the Imperial Palace than the Empress, they seemed to be growing closer. It was a good thing.

But Ian’s cold voice made my heart ache today.

“I thought I’d better tell you in person, since you’re going to find out anyway. You’re right, Rosetin Bedos will be my mistress.”

One corner of my mouth quirked up, and a small smile crossed my face. Nothing could be more cruel to Lethenia than to hear him say that he’d take another woman to be his mistress.

Lethenia’s emotions, which occupy half of my heart, began to flare up inside me, as if she didn’t want to admit it. He spoke again.

“I want you to help me.”

“What can I do for you?”

“If it looks like the Empress herself is accepting Rosetin into the Imperial family, I don’t think he’ll stand in her way.”

He meant to use Lethenia as a shield against Duke Bledel’s objections, or perhaps he meant to persuade her father, Duke Bledel, himself.

At his words, the attendants could not hide their bewilderment and looked at the Empress. It is to hurt Letenia’s pride in front of others, like at her birthday banquet.

The way he spoke to her so casually, his words seemed so unrelenting. His brazen manner made me tremble.

“Then in return, I will bring the young Marquis back.”

His next words were a bit unexpected, but there was a false sense of entitlement in his tone. He spoke as if he was giving away something quite large, but I was not the least bit grateful.

Before I knew it, my anger and resentment had intertwined and spread like wildfire. Soon the flames burned so fiercely that they melted my heart.

“I know it, but… to casually mention that you’re bringing in a mistress for your wife.”

“…….”

“You don’t have to be so rude. Still, we used to love each other.”

Lethenia’s anger raged inside of me, and I felt pain as I remembered her lonely and tearful life all at once. In the original, Lethenia had to hear Ian tell her that he loved another woman.

Still, foolishly, she believed that if she tried, she could win back his heart that had already left her. His presence was her reason for living, her hope in life.

She could lose everything and still be happy as long as he was by her side. Like someone who was stupid and foolish.

Looking at the man in front of me, I remembered the young Ian from the past. He was so different from the man he was now that I couldn’t believe it was the same person.

As I look at him in black and white, I can’t help but think of him, as if drawn to him by something.

The trash that I once loved, Yoon Ji-hwan. Yes, love can change. There’s nothing to stop it.

But that doesn’t give you license to trample all over a person’s heart.

“I mean you.”

“…….”

“Did you ever truly love a woman named Lethenia Bledel?”

He stared blankly into space, losing focus. Then he spoke, his words more heartless than ever.

“Lethenia.”

“…….”

“You already know what my answer is.”

His words were like poisoned arrows, lodged in the center of my heart. I knew. With Rosetin by his side, he will have no choice but to deny all his time with Lethenia.

But I had hoped that he would give me an answer that didn’t go well with my expectations at least once. In the end, it was cut into pieces like this.

“Because I was young back then. I was deluded. You and me.”

His next words felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

<Come to think of it, I don’t think I have seen you as a woman. We were both young back then.>

I suddenly remembered the beggarly memory. My throat prickled and I felt tears well up in my eyes at the sudden recollection.

I realized that I hadn’t gotten over it yet. Even if I ate and did my normal things and didn’t cry anymore, it was a yoke that would haunt me forever.

I felt my pride plummet as I thought about it. Why should I, just because of such a person.

I looked away to hide the tears that were welling up in my eyes. But everywhere I looked, people were watching me.

Stella gazing at me with a compassionate expression, Colin standing awkwardly with deep-set eyes, and the Imperial Court attendant sneaking glances at me as if to gauge my reaction.

The most unbearable thing was his blue eyes, devoid of any hint of guilt. I hated this man for being able to shake me so much with just a few words.

‘Let’s not get confused. Lethenia and I are not the same.’

This is just a story in a novel. I felt like I was going to break down at any moment, but I tried to control my anger.

Let’s not confuse it with Lethenia’s feelings. I am not in love with the man in front of me. That much is clear.

Armed with a deep smile to hide my wavering feelings, I looked him straight in the face.

“I’ll do it if you want,” I said. “I’ve grown very fond of Rosetin since I’ve had her as my maid, so it’s not hard to do, but I feel like this is a bit of a losing deal for me, you know.”

Ian waited for my next words with a grim expression.

“You couldn’t just banish Theo, the only heir to the Marquis of Claflin, for no reason, and I know it was only a matter of time before he comes back.”

“So?”

“I’m also thinking of making him my lover. I mean… As an official empress’ lover, not a secret relationship where you’re conscious of others. Like you and Rosetin.”

In this world, it was not uncommon for a high ranking lady to have a lover. Though most considered it a shameful custom and were reluctant to publicize their relationships.

Ian’s expression remained unchanged, but I could tell he was taken aback by my words. This was a different story from having a secret lover.

It went against the sentiments of the people of Asha. An Empress was supposed to be benevolent and chaste, and not like a common noblewoman who would take a high ranking nobleman as her official lover.

Even the Emperor himself would find it hard to accept. I didn’t mean to say this, but I wasn’t the one who started it.

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to give him a place in the palace. After all, he’s supposed to be my official lover.”

For a moment, his eyes shone with the heat of a man on the verge of explosion.

“I’m not going to change my mind about having Rosetin as my mistress. I apologize if my request offends you. I’ll find another way.”

He seemed to think I was being unreasonable. I moved a little closer to him.

“I told you, you would end up summoning him.”

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten this close to him before. Then I whispered in a low voice that only he could hear. So that he would take my offer more seriously.

“If you fulfill my request, …… I will give you information about a mole in the Xenos Rebellion planted by Duke Bledel.”

I felt the air flow change for a moment. His impassive mask shifted slightly.

I could feel his cold blue eyes stirring. What I’d brought up was clearly a sensitive issue for him.

After a moment of breathless silence, he spoke.

“Do you think you can take responsibility…… for what you said?”

“Of course, have you changed your mind now?”

With that, Ian made everyone around him retreat, leaving the two of us alone in Vanessa’s palace. Before I knew it, he had returned to the form of an emotionless doll.

He asked in a low, probing voice.

“Do you intend to turn against your father?”

“Because it’s what I have to do to get what I want. That person is more important to me than my family.”

Ian’s eyes closed and opened slowly for a moment. I wonder if he’s thinking about it.

The result is obvious anyway. He will accept my offer.

No matter how much he hates Theo, the chance to take on Duke Bledel isn’t something you get every day. I echoed his words from a moment ago.

“I don’t think he’ll stand in the way if you made it look like you were bringing him into the imperial family yourself…… What do you think?”

At those words, Ian stared at me wordlessly. His eyes were colder than winter, and I felt my heated heart freeze in an instant.

Eyes resembling a pale blue sapphire were directed at me without moving. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or bewildered, and I felt a strange sense of triumph at the realization that I’d returned his words.