Volume 1 - Epilogue

Epilogue - Sometimes Shy Girls Can Be Aggressive Too

I woke up with plenty of time to spare and enjoyed my breakfast and morning coffee elegantly. How ideal it would be to be helpless in the face of the urge to sleep in for even a minute longer in the morning, fiddling with the futon until the last minute.

Heading to university at full speed, I fought off the drowsiness that assailed me during boring classes.

When lunch finally arrived, I had lunch with Enji at the cafeteria.

If there were classes in the afternoon, or if there weren't, I worked part-time at a café and got home around 8 pm.

After that, I did my assignments, cleaned my room, and dried my laundry. ......I didn't make any progress on my assignments, and I just took my laundry to the laundry.

On my days off, I also went to my part-time job or hung out with Enji.

I had no hobbies or interests, and when I had free time, I just filled it with doing my assignments.

It's been like that since Hikari and I broke up a year ago, and I'm bored.

After we broke up, I realized that there was nothing to look forward to. I realized that I no longer knew what I was looking forward to exactly like before I started dating Hikari.

Recently, that life has changed.

The cause was Connect, a dating app that I started playing on Enji's recommendation.

Exchanging messages with Akari, who was first matched on Connect, was just as much fun as it was with Hikari, so when I woke up in the morning, the first thing I did was check for messages from Akari.

Before, I used to check my watch and say, "Five more minutes...."

In the end, I heard all about that day from Enji.

I knew it was all part of Enji's plan. He planned to get me and Hikari back together.

"So, what happened to Akari after that?"

Enji, who was wiping his coffee cup next to me, said. He knew the whole story, but he was trying to get me to tell him.

"Nothing, nothing changed."

"Oh, I knew it. Sho-chan is so cruel!"

It's not like anything has changed dramatically.

Of course, we weren't back together, we didn't get along as well as we did when we were dating, and I didn't sense any changes from Hikari.

"But..."

"......?"

The relationship was different from the one we had before we started dating, the one we had when we were together, and the one we had after we broke up.

We had swallowed the bad parts of each other's relationships and we could only handle it. It's not a friend, it's not a girlfriend either, it's a little different from an ex-girlfriend, it's like best friends who feel comfortable with each other and understand each other because they know each other better than anyone else.

"Maybe our relationship is better than ever......."

"Hmmm? That's good."

I was curious about Enji's reaction, and when I checked his sideways glance, he grinned, slightly surprised.

"What?"

"I was just thinking that Sho-chan, since meeting Akari-chan, has changed a bit."

I didn't realize it, but if Enji, who spent the most time with me on campus and at the part-time workplace, said so, then it might be true.

"What changed?"

"Hmm, I'm curious too. But you've become more honest, perhaps?"

"Honest, well......"

If so, will I be able to say what I think one day?

***

There's someone else I need to talk to besides Enji about the day I went to see Hikari because of Enji's plan.

On Monday, I went to talk to that person at the cafeteria as usual.

"Hello, Kokoro-san."

"Hello, Kakeru-san."

Kokoro-san said this with the same attitude and expression as always.

But I'm not the same as usual.

"I'm sorry I left so suddenly yesterday."

I should apologize properly.

At that time, Kokoro-san seemed to have understood my situation. She knew what I was going through, and she supported me.

Although she pretended not to care, in reality, she was probably angry at being suddenly abandoned.

I tried contacting her after returning home, but her replies were the same as always. I wondered how she felt. I wondered if she was angry?

As if denying that concern, Kokoro-san smiled.

"It's okay, don't worry. More importantly, look, let's eat omurice!"

My behavior of suddenly skipping a date and meeting her ex-boyfriend was very disrespectful to Kokoro-san.

However, Kokoro-san treated me as if nothing had happened.

I should have gotten a slap from her.

"Thank you very much. ......"

Kokoro-san stopped eating her omurice, looked down at the tomato sauce rice on her spoon, and said as if it was filled with potpourri.

"But actually, I'm a little sad."

"......Eh."

"I'm very happy to be with you, Kakeru-san, and I'm looking forward to eating together in the cafeteria like this every day, and I'm looking forward to every moment when we decide to date"

Kokoro-san, who was sitting right next to me, didn't make eye contact with me.

It's a big improvement that we're talking like this now because not long ago we couldn't even carry on a proper conversation, but I'm a bit embarrassed to make eye contact now.

"You went to see your ex-boyfriend, right?"

I thought I had guessed it, but my heart jumped when she said it.

"You still have lingering feelings, don't you?"

I thought it would be rude to lie to Kokoro-san, who told me how she felt, so I expressed my thoughts as well.

"To be honest, I have ...... a slight feeling that I want to start over from the beginning. But I can't be honest in front of her, and right now I feel that we're just good friends, and I'm worried about whether we can be lovers again...."

Thanks to the opportunity Enji created for me, I think we've become friends in one way or another, even though we're always fighting or something. But I'm not sure if that can be called love.

I wonder how I would feel if Hikari had a boyfriend.

If I had a girlfriend, she'd probably just say, "Hmmm." and act like she didn't care.

I still don't know how I'd feel. I just didn't want to imagine the light of her being with another man.

"I can change because of you, Kakeru-san. I'm still trying my best to change. So, if you're struggling with something, I want to help you."

Kokoro-san had been looking at the room the whole time, but then she looked into my eyes.

"If you can find a new love, if you can love someone enough to forget your ex-boyfriend, you won't have to worry about him anymore, right?"

"Well, umm...?"

That was partly why I started Connect. But as a result, even though I met a wonderful person like Kokoro-san in this way, I haven't completely gotten rid of my unresolved feelings for Hikari. It's not clear, and it sucks.

"It's because you're sincere, Kakeru-san, that you can worry like that. I'm interested in that part of you, Kakeru-san."

Those were such straightforward words, and unlike Kokoro-san, my ears felt hot.

But Kokoro-san didn't seem too nervous, or perhaps not as nervous as usual.

"That's why I...."

Kokoro-san said that and closed her mouth. Probably because she was embarrassed now, she looked away and started typing something on her phone.

"Kokoro-san...?"

I thought she was typing something for a while, and then my cell phone rang.

Kokoro-san looked at me, hiding her red face with her cell phone, and I guessed that the notification came from Kokoro-san.

On my phone screen was a single LINE notification.

The message from Kokoro-san was read.

[So you don't have to worry about your ex-boyfriend anymore.....]

As if following the preface, Kokoro-san sent those words in front of my eyes, through her cell phone.

[.....I'll make you forget.]