71 [Bonus chapter] The Unwelcome Door
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~ TARKYN ~
Harth held his gaze and her lips pulled up into a hesitant smile. “I believe you.”
“You should,” he said, arching one eyebrow. “You haven’t seen me at my best yet, Harth. But I’m feeling my strength again. No one is going to touch you, except me,” he vowed, stroking the line of her jaw with his thumb. “And I’m going to get the Queen listening to your people if I have to drag her to it by the scruff of her neck.”
Harth looked both alarmed, and slightly amused by that idea. He kissed her again quickly, then-just as another knock came on the door, slightly louder this time, he stepped back and reached down to redo his buttons.
Harth let her eyes drag down to where his fingers were working and even though he could feel her growing cold and afraid, she smiled. “Come back soon so we can finish what we started. I want to understand how... that would work,” she said with a glance over her shoulder at the wall.
Tarkyn growled his approval. Pressing her against it with his hips, he planted one hand against the wall over her shoulder, then leaned down until they almost nose to nose, tracing the line of her jaw with his nose, he whispered, “I will return, and I will show you that... and every other kind of pleasure we can find.”
She bit her lower lip and he wanted to tease it out from under her teeth, to kiss her again, to slide his tongue against hers and-
.....
He knew if he did, he wouldn’t let her go. And Harth looked like she might lose her resolve too. So he made himself straighten and hold her gaze.
“Give me three hours. Four at most.” His hand tightened at her side. “I’m going to help the Queen find her way through this so we can all be at peace. Not just me and you, but our people. We will find the freedom we both yearn for, Harth.”
Her forehead pinched and hope sprang in her heart, which warmed him.
“Explore this place. Find all my secrets. Change anything, Harth. I don’t care. I’ll make certain they don’t disturb you. Figure out what you need to make this your home. It’s mine, and whatever is mine is yours. Including my heart.”
She gave a sad little smile at that. “I know, Tarkyn. Me too.”
Then with a snarl of frustration he turned on his heel, stepped off the landing and stalked for the most unwelcome door in the history of Anima-the one that took him away from his mate.
Stepping out of that door felt like tearing off his own skin. If there hadn’t been half a dozen guards waiting, he likely would have turned right back around and returned to her. But the Guards snapped to attention as he stepped through the door, and he was reminded of his role in the lives of his people.
“Those of you returning to the Council with me, we leave now. If you’re staying here, you don’t touch that door, you don’t make a sound. If she doesn’t ask for you, you leave her completely alone.”
“Yes, sir!” the Guards leaped to acknowledge the order. Tarkyn wanted to growl, but instead he took the first step away from her, gritting his teeth against the feeling of being flayed. But he made himself do it, because he knew he was needed. He needed to be there to make sure El didn’t fly into panic, and to make certain that his mate’s wellbeing was considered as decisions were made.
Plus... he had a job to do.
That thought settled a weight on his shoulders, and for the first time in his life, the weight of responsibility-the weight of his role in the Anima-sat heavily. Like a job.
It was a burden he’d always found joy in before. Purpose. But now it felt like a sword, dangling over his head. An adversary that he wanted to fight.
‘Help me, Creator,’ he prayed silently. ‘Strength, wisdom, and peace... we need peace. Please bring peace-for Harth and I, and for our people.’ He gritted his teeth as he took the second step, ‘Because I don’t want to be responsible for what will happen if my Queen wages war on my mate.’
“Sir, the Queen said we could call for a messenger to bring anything that might be needed to make your mate more comfortable.”
“How generous,” Tarkyn said dryly, shaking his head slightly. There was food and drink in his home, warmth and safety. But what his mate needed was companionship. Security. To be together with-
He stopped dead on the trail and the guards all turned, brows high, to see what was wrong.
“Tarkyn-”
“Just a moment,” he snapped, then turned and rushed back to the door, swinging it open to find Harth standing behind the couch, stroking a hand over the fur he had thrown there.
Best
She flinched when the door opened, but her eyes brightened when she saw him.
“Love, I just had an idea. I’m going to send you a friend-a female that you can trust. Someone to be with you so you aren’t alone.”
Harth’s expression was uneasy. She didn’t welcome the gift. She was afraid. He could feel it.
Tarkyn sent to her through the bond. ‘Do you trust me?’
‘Of course. But has this female... has she known you?’ Harth asked quietly.
The darkness that churned in his chest threatened to make him vomit, but he swallowed it back. ‘No, I vow it, Harth. Trust me on this: She is someone who will be a blessing in your life. You shouldn’t be alone.’
Harth took a deep breath, but she nodded, and he felt her resolve, her determination to believe in him. It was humbling.
Sending her an image of the way he’d hold her when he got back, Tarkyn forced himself to close the door again and walk away. But as he did so, he pulled the soldier aside who’d offered the messenger.
“Get Suhle over to the tree as soon as possible. It’s an emergency. Tell her there’s a broken heart that shouldn’t be alone, and she’s a wolf. She needs a friend. And safety.”
The guard nodded and darted off, shifting into equine form and galloping into the trees as Tarkyn shook his head and chastised himself for having been so weak. He should have eaten more yesterday, should have drunk more. Should have paid more attention to how his own weakness was affecting everyone around him.
He wasn’t weak today. Today he was steel.
He wouldn’t let them question him again.
With a huff of determination, he stalked through the forest reminding himself exactly who he was-he was the Captain of the Queen’s Guard. Defender of the Anima. He was Alpha and he was Mate.
He’d given his life to his Queen and her people and they’d all seen the truth of his loyalty.
And he would be fucked if he would let them question it again.
He was true to his vow to his Queen. He would protect her life-and her people. But he’d never treated the Royals as if they were any less mortal than the rest of his charges. So he would also shake some fucking sense into El if that’s what it took.
He would not be ruled by fear-and he wouldn’t allow his Queen to rule the Anima out of fear, either.
And if Elreth couldn’t see that that’s what she was doing, he would show her.
That was his job. And he was fucking good at it.
He leaped forward into his lion and darted into the forest, leaving the guards to follow if they could.