Chapter 120

120 Undeniable

If you’re seeing this message on 5 December in the USA, (6 December internationally), you’ve purchased top tier privilege and earned a letter from Tarkyn! Comment below so I can confirm that you have access, then email me on with your address!

Merry Christmas!

*****

~ JAYAH ~

The urgency had never left Jayah-only gotten worse. But at some point during the day as quiet seemed to descend on the WildWood, as if even Creation waited for something, something within Jayah began to punch for the surface, driving her. Something above and beyond the simple draw of her mate. Something... deeper.

She’d tried to resist. She was planning to see Skhal that evening to finalize the plan that they’d made the evening before. There was only one more day-two at most-before they would put everything into action and either be free to complete the bond, or separated... likely forever. But her body began to tremble. Not with desire, but with restraint.

When the second punch came, like a fist to her belly, shoving her in the direction of her mate, Jayah was in the Royal Meadow, on her way to the cave. The orders had come down for everyone to leave the Queen and her King to rest that day. But given everything that was happening, for the Queen to seclude herself... Jayah suspected she knew what had drawn the Queen’s attention. The only thing that could. And she’d wanted to be of help. Known Elreth would be battling both the physical and emotional barriers of this incredible mountain to climb.

Knowing everything could potentially explode the following day, she’d been determined to offer her help and wisdom while she could. Just in case.

But as she crossed the sparse grass of the near-winter meadow, that shove had come again and she’d stumbled to a halt, breathless and stunned.

.....

She turned quickly to face north and east, one hand to her stomach where that punch had come-not as if to stop her, but as if something pushed her in the direction of her mate.

What was going on?

“He’s calling for you, isn’t He,” a deep voice said from behind her.

Jayah turned, startled, to find Behryn, the former King’s best friend and second, the former Captain of the Guard, and now Elreth’s surrogate father and unofficial Royal Advisor. The male held so many roles-or had-Jayah’s head spun. But he was wise, and his smile was gentle.

“I... what?” In the past two days she’d asked more people to repeat themselves than she thought she’d asked in the preceding year. She could barely keep a thought in her head beyond her mate. It was frustrating and... humbling.

Behryn stood in the open door of the tree that had been Reth and Elia’s before the war. His tall frame filling the doorway, his hair smattered with gray, wrinkles around his eyes, especially when he smiled.

“I said, He’s calling you, isn’t He?” Behryn strode out of the house to cross the grass to her.

Jayah’s jaw dropped. She knew Behryn could read the winds, but that... that had shown him her mate?

“How did you know?” she breathed.

“Because the Creator can become quite insistent when we’re resisting. Trust me, I know. And I have to tell you, Jayah, there was no greater regret in my life than the time when He urged me forward and I dug my hooves into the grass. Whatever He pushes you to... do it. Don’t hesitate. You will only regret it.”

Jayah blinked. He... he didn’t know about her mate. But he knew about the push.

“How do you know it’s Him? The Creator?” she said carefully. “How do you know when the urge is... from Him?”

“Because it isn’t desire. It’s simple conviction,” Behryn said quietly. “Sometimes it follows your wishes, other times it doesn’t. But always it is... undeniable.”

Jayah nodded, swallowing hard. “To go... is to leave my purpose-”

“Permanently?”

Jayah gave a chilled laugh. “I don’t know.”

“Well, it wouldn’t matter anyway, frankly,” Behryn said, coming to stand at her side and look towards the WildWood in the direction she’d been watching when he appeared. “If the Creator calls you to it, Jayah, it is for good. It may not look good. It may not feel good. But it is for good, you can be certain of that.”

Jayah’s heart began to race. “But if it harms others-”

“Does it harm them, or only you because their view of you might change?” Behryn asked solemnly.

She hadn’t ever thought about it that way before. “I... I don’t know.”

Behryn crossed his arms. “I don’t know all of what He’s asked of you, Jayah. But I know that when you walked into the meadow I could feel you being called away-and I could feel you resisting. Whatever your purpose is, it is important. To resist it is to resist the Creator Himself. I can’t imagine that’s something you want to do.”

“No...” She licked her lips, her heart thrumming. “No, it’s not.”

“Then go,” he said, opening a hand in the direction they faced. “Go do what He’s asked you to do, or become what He’s told you you’re to be. Whatever it is, it’s necessary.”

Jayah sucked in a breath. “I... I will. Thank you. I am... it hadn’t occurred to me to speak to you. I may be guilty of assuming others aren’t as wise as me and... thank you, Behryn.”

He chuckled, his voice deep and husky. “You’re welcome, Jayah.”

They embraced quickly, then Jayah pulled away.

Just as she turned from him, Behryn murmured, “And please, tell your mate I look forward to meeting him when the time is right.”

Jayah staggered to another shocked halt, but Behryn had already turned away. She watched him walk back to the tree. He didn’t look back. But she would have sworn his shoulders shook now and again with laughter

Shaking her head, Jayah started back towards the trail, cataloging in her mind the things she would have to do and the time they would take. She’d already packed a bag and left it at the Healer’s Center. While she was there she would speak with Sarayu and ask for her help again, they would need to make sure the wet nurse for the infant understood who was overseeing Zan’s care and... and too many things to count.

Behryn’s word came back to her.

Whatever your purpose is, it is important. To resist it is to resist the Creator Himself.

When the trail reached the intersections where one direction would take her into the Tree City or the other along the side trails towards the Prison, and then to leave WildWood, that nudge came again, right in her spine, pushing her forward, towards her mate.

Jayah stopped resisting. She took a sharp turn to the east and the trail that would take her past the prison where she could inform Sasha to trust Sarayu, that she might be gone for a day or more. And then she would leave.

All she had was her herbs bag, her gathering knife, and the scarf around her neck... but it was enough.

Whatever your purpose is, it is important. To resist it is to resist the Creator Himself.

Jayah nodded to herself, then set her jaw and began to run.

She didn’t know why the completion of her bond was so important to the Creator, but she would stop resisting. She’d already put the measures in place here that would help Skhal achieve his plan-if the plan hadn’t changed. All that was left was to find him and... to bring him home.

Best

Jayah’s breath quickened and she increased her strides, her heart fluttering like a young whelp’s at her first mating.

Which, Jayah supposed, aged or not, is exactly what she was.