Chapter 186 - 186 Breakfast Fire

186 Breakfast Fire

If you like music while you read, try “Demons at the Door” by Written by Wolves. It’s what I listened to while writing this chapter!

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~ HARTH ~

Harth had gone ahead to the breakfast fire. She wanted to see if she could find some extra meat for Tarkyn before he got there—surrounded by guards—because she knew he wouldn’t ask for it for himself. And she was worried if he was there, the others might be difficult about it.

She shouldn’t have worried. Her pack greeted her warmly and were happy to provide for her and her mate.

She was already setting up at the fire, an extra slab of the venison from one of the forest deer on the spit, when a soft hand touched her shoulder.

She turned, then leaped to her feet. “Suhle! You’re here! How?!”

She didn’t even think, just leaped to throw her arms around the older female, who laughed softly and hugged her back just as enthusiastically. “We were given freedom last night,” she said softly, smiling when they pulled out of each other’s arms. “I think Zev would like to have us shadowed, but they all agreed… it’s good to see you, Harth. I was so glad when I learned that you were here safely.”

Harth nodded. “We only made it yesterday as well. I’m so glad they let you go free.”

.....

“I’m not sure it was a popular decision, but I will take advantage while I can. I’m so glad I found you.”

They settled down next to the fire, adding Suhle’s breakfast rations to the spit so Harth could cook for both couples while they caught up.

“You’re very brave to come here, but I’m so glad it’s you. I know that they’ll listen to you, Suhle. I know they will.”

Suhle didn’t look as certain, but she shrugged. “It was clear that we were the right pair to offer reassurance,” she said. “Though I’m not certain it will be heard. Zev is… very angry.”

Harth snorted. “You have no idea.”

“I think I have some.”

That was sobering. Harth nodded and poked at the fire to keep the embers close together. ‘Did you learn anything… useful last night?’ she asked quietly, through the link.

Suhle shook her head. ‘Zev was very careful to ask all the questions and offer very little. He and Lerrin are a little too similar to be entirely comfortable with each other, I think. But he did seem to respect Lerrin’s strength. I suspect we have shadows following us that we haven’t perceived yet, though,’ Suhle added dryly.

‘Probably,’ Harth sighed in the link. ‘I’m glad he wasn’t so hard on you, though. He was… very hard on Tarkyn when he arrived without disavowing Elreth.’

Suhle tsked, shaking her head and looked away over the encampment, her beautiful eyes dark and worried. ‘The feeling here is very tense. I can understand it. I don’t envy Zev the position he finds himself in. But that male is on a hair-trigger. I am far less confident of our ability here than I was before we spoke with him. But I do think he heard us—heard our story. Whether he sees the correlation for himself though, I don’t know.’

Harth sighed. ‘At least he didn’t try to split you two up.’

‘I wouldn’t allow it,’ Suhle replied simply, but the strength of will and certainty echoed in her words.

Harth gave a small smile. ‘I’ll be sure to warn Zev.’

Suhle snorted, but then her face went thoughtful again before she looked at Harth. ‘And how are you? Is it good to be back among your own?’

‘Of course! I just… everything still feels so uncertain. I thought when Zev got loose things would get better, but he’s so angry. I’m afraid of what will happen if he doesn’t agree to the peace talks.’

Suhle nodded. ‘It’s a very hard thing when the life you know is upended by your mate.’

Harth gave her a searching look. ‘You said that you and Lerrin were kept apart for a long time at first as well. What happened when you accepted the bond?’

“It was the most wonderful night of my life,” she said out loud, with a quiet, distant smile. “There was nowhere I wanted to be, except in his arms.”

Harth nodded. She knew that feeling. And how torturous it had been until they could complete the bond. “But you had to leave, right? To stay with him?”

Suhle nodded and glanced at her from the side. “I thought that might be something we should speak about—the decision you may still be left to make.”

Harth bit her lip. “I hope there won’t be a need—”

‘If you had asked me what I thought before we arrived here, Harth, I was utterly confident that it would only take time to bring our peoples together. But on seeing Zev last night, feeling his tension and anger… I am no longer certain. I pray—I will be praying fervently—that he can find forgiveness and hope. But it was clear to me last night that without the staying hand of his trusted advisors, he would never have accepted us among your ranks. He is not seeking peace. He’s seeking… victory.’

Harth closed her eyes for a moment. It was exactly how she’d been feeling too. And it was so frightening. ‘I worry about that, as well.’

Suhle nodded. ‘You should follow your heart, Harth,’ she said simply.

Harth’s eyes flew open and she turned her head to stare at Suhle, who looked back at her calmly. ‘I… what?’

‘I can tell you, as someone who had to leave pack and home to stay in the arms of my mate, I never regretted it a day. Not once. When you have found your One… nothing else is worth as much. Nothing else will comfort you for losing them, or even being separated.’

Harth swallowed and nodded. “I know. I never wanted to leave, even when things were… hard with the others. But I wondered about bringing him here…”

Suhle watched her carefully, her expression cautious for the first time. ‘I’d tell you something that could be… unpopular.’

‘Please, just say it. I don’t know anyone who’s been through something like this the way you have.’

Suhle took a deep breath and looked into the fire as she spoke, not leaving her eyes on Harth, letting Harth examine what she said.

‘My mate is a strong male,’ she said carefully. ‘Whether he wants to admit it or not, he was created to lead—and he doesn’t feel right in himself when he isn’t.’

Harth nodded. ‘I mentioned that to Tarkyn last night—he said he was trying to be submissive. I could have laughed!’

Suhle smiled, but still kept her eyes on the fire. “Our mates have much in common, Harth,’ she said, then glanced at Harth from the side.

Harth nodded. ‘I agree.’

Suhle licked her lip and looked at the fire again. ‘Do you see that… Tarkyn has the humility to lower himself—and I’m certain he would do it for you. He adores you.’

Harth smiled, her cheeks warming. ‘I adore him too.’

‘Which is as it should be,’ Suhle said warmly. ‘But… it seems to me… you mentioned that you are not a high ranking wolf in your pack. Yet you’re very strong. Did you not seek it, or—’

‘It’s a combination of factors—the humans kept me away from the packs from the age that I might have started pursuing a position in the hierarchy. So I never found my place. But also I find… I want to have the choice about where I put my energy and time. And the more I watch leaders, the more I realize they’re always sort of… corralled.’

Suhle let out a big breath, nodding. ‘That is certainly true. Pursuing leadership is pursuing responsibility. And that never leaves you free to just… choose.’

Harth nodded. ‘I’m happy to be where I am and to just… influence what I can.’

‘Do you see that your mate isn’t so… flexible?’ Suhle asked very slowly.

Harth glanced at her, but the older wolf just kept staring at the fire. ‘I think so?’ she said.

‘I’ve known of Tarkyn since he was very young—still adolescent. And although we spent most of that time apart… watching him over the past year or so it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d known him when he was young, I would have seen it… he is a very strong male, Harth. He is an Anima who truly stepped into what he was made to be.’

‘I agree.’ She sensed that Suhle was working towards something, but she wasn’t sure what it was.

‘So… I think that your mate, like mine, will never be fully satisfied to simply sit back and allow events to play out around him. He was Created to lead, to push, to influence.’ Then Suhle did turn to look at her. ‘Harth, Tarkyn is very humble and I think for that reason, doesn’t always see himself clearly. But… he will never be himself… not his true self… in a place that would stifle that in him.’

Harth tilted her head because for a moment she wasn’t sure why Suhle seemed to think this was such a big deal. But then she grasped it, and her heart sank.

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