191 [Bonus chapter] Run
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~ JAYAH ~
Jayah sat in the far corner of the security building breathing carefully—a five count as she inhaled, and a four count as she exhaled, training her body to relax and focus.
She hadn’t been able to focus since she’d returned. Except for the moment when Elreth had taken her aside to admit what Jayah had already suspected—that Elreth was already a mother, though still months from delivery.
It was the only time she’d allowed one of the Anima to touch her—she’d been unable to control the impulse to draw Elreth into her arms and hold her as Elreth, with fragile, shuddering words, admitted that she was becoming a mother, and missing her own mother terribly in it.
They’d wept together—a relief, because Elreth’s nose had been quickly blocked by her tears so she couldn’t scent Jayah.
But she’d been quick and insistent to swear Jayah to secrecy. Elreth admitted she’d only told her because her own mate was beside himself that Elreth was working normally, traveling, staying up late…
Jayah had been pleased to reassure the King—and to share a smile with him when they were done covering the risks, or lack thereof.
.....
Elreth was strong and healthy. The lack of sleep and travel wasn’t ideal, but her body was made for this. As long as she continued to eat healthily and stopped any kind of training that might impact her stomach, she would be fine.
Jayah was happy for them. So happy. And desperately reminded of her own mate—and this very unique, very special part of the bond that they would never enjoy, so that she’d had to walk away after the conversation to weep.
But once that initial drama had passed, Elreth was still looking at Jayah askance about her disappearance, though she’d told the truth. Or most of it: The Chimeran Alphas had taken her to help with Zan, then released her to return before they reached the Chimeran territory so that she wouldn’t know anything about it.
Yes, she’d been frightened, but no they hadn’t hurt her. Zev had only used her as leverage to get them away when they were discovered. She’d never been under true threat…
Jayah was shown again how much trust she enjoyed. How little suspicion. She was washed in shame as deep as her relief when they accepted her explanation and allowed her to just… go about her business.
She’d been keeping as much space between her and the others as she could, always placing herself downwind, or amongst a crowd that didn’t know her well. So far no one had done more than hurriedly ask her if she was okay. But the entire WildWood was alight with the news that there were people—people with links to the humans—inhabiting the eastern peninsula.
She knew more than she told, but nothing that could hurt or help, and so she kept her mouth shut. And everyone assumed she was dealing with the fear of having been taken by this threat. They were respecting her space.
She could have laughed.
They had no idea. No idea how her body pulled at her. How quickly she would drop everything and leave. No idea how very, very important these ‘strangers’ were to her.
She scanned the room again, breathing slowly to settle her heart which was beginning to race with her thoughts. Elreth and her court were deep in discussion—proposition, negotiation, risk containment… none of them were paying attention to her. Including Gar, who Jayah suspected might have a clue. But Gar was acting strangely too. If she hadn’t known better she’d have thought he was avoiding everyone as much as her. If he hadn’t already been mated to his soul, she might have wondered if he’d found a mate among the Chimera as well.
His eyes found her—searching, curious, wary—more often than she wanted to let him know she’d noticed. And yet… he seemed to wish to avoid eyes—and noses—as much as she did.
If it hadn’t been so scary, Jayah might have laughed as she stood back from the cluster of powerful Anima, watching the largest among them—Gar—try to shrink from notice.
The healer in her wanted to reach for him. Would have, just a week ago. If she was in her right mind, her normal heart, she would have pulled him aside and not stopped questioning until he told her what was wrong.
She’d promised her dear friend, Gar’s mother, that she would always watch over her children. And Gar clearly had something going on.
But Jayah was a pragmatist at heart. And she knew herself.
She carried her limit already. She could be of little use to others if she broke her own mind. And so, she sat on the floor with her back to the wall, praying no one would search her scent, and Gar sat in the circle of chairs, his eyes darting for the door and his attention clearly divided. Which made sense—his mate hadn’t been seen in the Tree City for days. And his story about a friend who needed help was wearing thin.
In any other circumstances, Jayah wouldn’t have been the only one to notice. But as it was, Elreth was relieved that Gar’s human mate wasn’t there to complicate things with the Chimera, and everyone else was too busy catching up on what had been hidden from them and making plans for these talks they were still waiting to hear would happen tomorrow.
So, both she and Gar avoided talking to the other. But she had noticed.
And she was pretty certain he had too.
She bit her lip and kept counting her breaths, willing her heart to settle.
But it hammered to a gallop when that echoing space in her mind suddenly came alive.
‘Jayah? Beautiful…’ her mate’s voice, warm and heavy with relief.
She almost leaped to her feet on the spot. She tensed so completely, she jolted.
‘Skhal?!’
‘We need you. I need you—’ He sounded so weary, so tormented—exactly as her heart felt, though it fluttered and flew now, just for hearing him.
‘What’s going on?’
‘I’ve been asked to bring you back… for Zan.’ His voice—the best sound in the world—was so dark on that last statement… he was hurting. Angry and bitter and terrified that his brother wolf hadn’t seen fit to bring her for himself. For his need.
Jayah put her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands and just sat in the presence of her mate, letting her heart ease. But her mind ran circles.
She was called to her mate—but not for her mate. Called to help their potential enemy keep his baby safe… when she had a Queen here, growing her own offspring. And lacking a mother to help her through it.
Guilt wracked through her. But even so, her heart sang, because her mate… her mate was here. Close enough to reach with her mind and it fed a part of her soul that had been shriveling without him.
Through the link she showed him herself, wrapping him in an embrace, pressing her face to his chest… and he returned the image—his arms around her, his breath against her temple when he laid a gentle kiss on her hair.
‘Can you come, my love? Can you leave?’
Could she. She could. Should she?
Should she choose El’s baby over Zevs?
That was the decision she had to make.