Chapter 240 - 240 Prowling

240 Prowling

~ ZEV ~

They were moving. They were moving soon. He was going to get Sasha and bring her back and she would be safe and Zan would be safe and for once, please, God, could they all just be fucking safe!

His hands shook on his son’s back, but he couldn’t let him go. The nurse had already offered to stay close to him, to follow him, holding his son. The healer, as well. Even one of the guards.

These guards he didn’t mind. They were two Anima, two Chimeran wolves. And their sole purpose was to make sure his son—and whoever held him—weren’t hurt if there was any kind of attack.

Zev had barely been able to breathe when he’d realized that he’d left Zan with the healers in the Tree City while he’d gone searching for Sasha—he’d already been late for a meal, and Zev knew that wasn’t okay with what their son was battling.

He hadn’t meant to go all the way to the Chimeran encampment. But the longer he’d gone without being able to contact Sasha, the more panicked he’d become. So he’d finally broken, thrown himself into his wolf, and began to run.

He’d decided to trust that they really would keep his son safe. But it had burned in his gullet the entire time.

Then, when they’d learned that Sasha really had been taken, he’d almost collapsed. But as soon as they began to organize… he hadn’t been able to let the thought go.

He needed to care for his son. He needed to hold him and keep him safe, so that when Sasha was back, their son was okay. He had to.

.....

Somehow in his mind, keeping Zan safe and getting Sasha back had become entwined.

To his surprise, when he’d insisted on heading back to the Tree City to get him, Elreth herself had urged him to travel with them—she’d send runners to get him traveling back towards him.

And so, Zev had found himself running with the Queen as she took messages, gave instructions and somehow managed to keep track of a dozen moving parts while they hurried through the forest.

He’d yearned to push faster, to run, to be in his wolf. But Elreth had warned him, unless he followed the specific path they’d chosen beforehand, he might miss the nurse and guards coming to meet them. Then he’d only be apart from his son longer.

She’d checked with him only once that he wanted to bring his son back to what amounted to little more than a warzone.

“I’ll keep him safe. No one will watch him like me,” Zev had muttered. “Sasha would never forgive me…” he’d trailed off miserably, and Elreth had given him a moment.

Her mate followed them. Zev could feel the male’s eyes on his back. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. But after their conversation in the middle of the night, things had been easier between them.

At least, Zev was uneasy with the male to his back, but he wasn’t rippling towards the shift. It was a relief.

“You know…” Elreth had said, looking at him sideways and clearing her throat. “I know how it feels to be separated from your mate… against your will. Unable to… connect.”

Zev found himself baring his teeth—why couldn’t he link with Sasha? She was alive—unless they’d knocked her out…

That thought made his stomach sick, so he’d pushed it away, but it left a simmering unease in his gut.

“I just wanted you to know,” Elreth continued, sighing. “We’ll do everything we can to bring her back. Even if we find Rika this minute… nothing will change. All our efforts. All our resources. We’ll bring them to bear for Sasha. I promise you.”

Zev blinked, his breath hitching. “Thank you,” he said, feeling humbled. Then he swallowed. “I guess that’s something. At least they took Sasha, not me, right? I mean, she’s gotta be easier to justify fighting for.” He was trying for humor, but couldn’t even smile.

Elreth had turned to look at him then, her clear blue eyes piercing and fixed. Unnerving.

“Any of you, Zev. We’d do everything we could to bring any of you back safely. Whether it’s bears, or Tigers… we are allies. Any of you. Not just our own.”

He’d finally met her eyes for real then and taken his first deep breath since… well, forever. Because he was looking into the eyes of an Alpha. Someone strong and determined, with the power and the resolve to make things happen.

His own power seemed to have fled when he’d thought about Sasha knocked out. Standing there in her gaze, feeling her simple certainty, Zev finally understood why anyone followed her.

She made him feel like he was no longer alone.

He shook his head. “Thank you,” he muttered. “I don’t deserve that. I know. So… thank you.”

Elreth flapped a hand. “I think we can both use some forgiveness, right? I’ll give you mine if you give me yours.”

She was still looking at him. His anger flashed, then faded… just like that.

He took another deep breath. “You know, Sasha told me to forgive you. If I’d listened, if I hadn’t run from that, I wouldn’t be here right now. She wouldn’t be in their hands—” his throat closed and he cut off. But he only swallowed and made himself plow on. “If I hadn’t left her, they wouldn’t have her. But I did. I did because I hated you,” he admitted finally. “I had so much hate for you, Elreth.”

He turned and met her eyes again, finding her more curious than intimidated, but he felt her mate creeping closer up behind them.

Elreth looked sad. “Had? Or still have? I don’t know if it helps, but… I don’t hate you,” she said quietly. “I never did. I was afraid. I’m still afraid, to be honest. But I know now… I know we can do this together if you’re willing. I’m willing now. I wasn’t before. But I am now. We can fight together. We can win. And then we can find real peace. Together.”

The image that brought to mind made Zev want to whine in his throat. Could it really happen?

He prayed so. “I’m sorry,” he said then, his voice harsh and ragged. But finally, finally he felt a weight shift in his chest. Something fell away. “I’m sorry, Elreth. And I… I forgive you.”

Elreth’s face lit up. Without another word and without even breaking stride, she offered her arm for him to clasp.

The hand of peace. Sasha had told him.

Taking a deep breath, he clasped it. “Peace,” he said dully, hopefully, still terrified.

“Peace,” she said.

And when Jayah arrived with his son, and Skhal hovering at her shoulder, when Zan was returned to him, Elreth celebrated with him, and even touched his shoulder to comfort.

And when he turned with his son and the others in tow, returning to the front line, he found a part of him wished she’d been able to stay….

“Zev?!”

Zev blinked and looked around. He was in the valley, rows and ranks of wolves around him—both Anima and Chimera. His son was clasped to his shoulder, but Jayah stood in front of him, her hands extended for Zan and eyes sad, but kind.

“Sorry, what?” he asked.

“They’re going to move. Gar’s just called for readiness. The fighters and trackers… they’re getting ready to move. I… I should take him. You can’t carry him into battle. Sasha… Sasha needs you.”

Zev sucked in a breath, then looked down at his son. He swallowed hard and turned his back on the female for a moment, just holding his son’s head, cupping his hand over him which was big enough to dwarf his skull, kissing his cheek, and blinking back tears.

“I’ll come back. I’ll bring her back. We’re going to be together,” he whispered, vowing. “We’re going to be a family. And we’re… we’re going to live in peace. I promise you, Zan. You will grow up without having to fight. I vow it.”

“I’ll help.”

Zev looked up quickly to find Tarkyn standing in front of him, his brow furrowed.

Zev cleared his throat. “Thank you, I—”

“I want that too. Whether… whether we have offspring or not. I have always had a heart for the young. Zev… you don’t have to do this alone. My mate is up there too. She’s not even in chains, and I can barely breathe. So I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. But… we’re in this together. I promise you. We’ll fight. And we’ll keep fighting until every last one of them is back and safe. And we’ll guard him too. I promise.”

Zev nodded. “Thank you.” He felt so helpless. So… stupid.

“I don’t want to rush you from your son, but the owls are about to take flight. We’re going to the clearing where Harth found the trail and we’re going to wait there. I’ll place you wherever you wish in the ranks.”

He opened his mouth to demand to be placed at the front—of course! Where else would he be? But then he hesitated. He took one final look at his son.

He might lose both of his parents in the next hour. It was possible. Perhaps more than possible.

And for the first time Zev could remember… he feared the fight.

“I… I don’t know…”

“You will,” Tarkyn said gently. “When the time comes, you’ll know.”

Zev looked up at him. “I hope so.”

“I know so. You have the heart of a warrior. Too much, I think. You’ll have to learn when not to fight. But that day definitely isn’t today. So hug your son and breathe, and place him in those very capable hands. Then come with me. We’re going to get our females.”

And that was exactly what Zev did.

Though the moment he handed his little boy to Jayah, Zan began to scream in protest.

Zev almost snatched him back, but Jayah reassured him–they would care for him. They’d make certain he was safe. And Skhal stood behind her, nodding.

‘I’ll watch over him,’ Skhal sent, his voice deep with conviction.

And so, even though it broke his heart. Zev turned away from his screaming son and walked away with Tarkyn…

But his heart tore a little further with every cry that haunted him the further it drew away.