Chapter 501: What Does the Real Santa Claus Look Like? No One Knows!

Chapter 501: What Does the Real Santa Claus Look Like? No One Knows!

Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 501 What Does the Real Santa Claus Look Like? No One Knows!

"Um, Hasegawa-san, let's just forget about your complaints. No matter how much you drink, next year you'll still be unemployed. Drinking won't change the fact that you're unemployed this year," said Shinpachi, pushing his glasses up with an expressionless face.

"Hey! I finally managed to forget about that fact!" Hasegawa protested, clutching his chest. "Why remind me of it?"

"No, even if you forget about it, it won't change anything," Shinpachi retorted with a twitch of his mouth.

"Speaking of complaints, Shinpachi, do you have any grievances you want to express?" Kawaki asked, then smirked. "There must be, right? After all, your boss is that kind of guy."

"Well, yeah," Shinpachi sighed with some emotion. "After all, it's Gin-san. If I were to voice all my grievances about him, I feel like I could go on all night. It could even be treated as a snack~ Ahahaha..."

"Do you want another serving then?" Tsukuyo pointed to Kawaki beside her.

"Hey, what do you mean?" Kawaki squinted his eyes and asked expressionlessly, "Are you implying that you have a lot of complaints about me on ordinary days? You can count them as a snack if you bring them up at the year-end party?"

"You..." Tsukuyo's pupils involuntarily widened and murmured with disbelief, "You actually have self-awareness..."

Instantly, a vein bulged on Kawaki's face and pulsated incessantly.

"What do you mean by that?" Kawaki gritted his teeth, looking at Tsukuyo with a forced smile. "Do you want to fight? You stinky woman!"

"Come on, you two, calm down a bit. Let's not argue on Christmas Eve," Shinpachi kindly intervened.

"Tch!" Kawaki turned his face away disdainfully, then took out a bundle of colorful coupons from his pocket and handed them to Shinpachi. "Here, your Christmas gift plus New Year's gift. It'll be troublesome to give it to you again during the New Year, so I'll just give it to you all at once."

"Um... what do you mean by this, Kawaki-san?" Shinpachi pushed his glasses up on his face. "Can I assume that you're insulting me? Can I assume that you're looking down on me? Can I assume that you're thinking, 'If this kid doesn't go to a certain shop in Yoshiwara, he'll be a virgin for life'?"

"Yep, that's right," Kawaki nodded.

"Hey! Stop kidding around!" Shinpachi snatched the coupons from Kawaki's hand without hesitation, tore them into pieces, and yelled with red eyes, "I don't need this kind of thing at all! Absolutely not! Before I turn eighteen... no, before I turn twenty, I'll definitely say goodbye to my virginity!"

"Um... what were you saying all this time?" Kawaki looked puzzled, "Although I did think it's that in my mind, it has nothing to do with the gift I gave you, right? It's that... that... forget it, anyway, it's the handshake ticket for the New Year's special event of that idol you like. I got it from a lottery when I went to buy a game last time, and I got thirty of them. I thought you'd like it..."

"What...?!" Shinpachi exclaimed in shock, looking at the torn coupons and the words [Attention! Damaged, Invalid!] written on the fragments. He collapsed onto the table while occasionally twitching.

Seeing Shinpachi's reaction, Kawaki reached into his pocket, searching for something.

"I found it! There's one left! Shinpachi!" Kawaki pulled out an Otsuu-chan handshake ticket from his pocket. "The last one, Shinpachi!"

Upon hearing this, Shinpachi instantly revived. He sat up with tears in his eyes and took the handshake coupon from Kawaki with trembling hands.

'This is like a comedian doing a parody of the song [O-fukuro-san (Mother)] when Shinichi Mori himself suddenly appeared from behind!' Umibouzu felt anxious.

'No! Absolutely not!' Gintoki was panicking. 'I absolutely don't want to expose that kind of ugliness in front of them!'

'What should I do?!' Umibouzu was sweating profusely. 'What should I do about this imitation situation? Answer me! King of Comedy!'

'Faced with the real person holding my shoulders from behind with an expression of "Good imitation" on his face, how am I supposed to not embarrass myself, King of Comedy?!' Gintoki, who was also sweating, thought frantically in his heart.

'Tell me, King of Comedy!' Both of them simultaneously felt despair.

After about three seconds of silence, both Umibouzu and Gintoki simultaneously came up with an answer.

They both stepped forward, exerting all their strength to punch each other. Umibouzu's fist hit Gintoki's abdomen, while Gintoki's fist hit Umibouzu's left cheek.

'Defeat the real one and let yourself become the real one!'

Both of them thought the same thing!

Struck by the blows, Umibouzu and Gintoki simultaneously let out a cry of pain and flew backward several meters!

Boom! ×2

Gintoki crashed into a tree trunk, while Umibouzu shattered the stone statue in front of the pond.

At the same time, the noise caused by the two alarmed the people inside the house, and they stopped what they were doing to look outside.

"Hey, what did you say to them just now?" Tsukuyo glanced at Kawaki and asked.

"I just told them to leave..." Kawaki replied casually. "I also gave them 10,000 yen."

Just as he said that Kawaki suddenly thought of something. "Yes! It's the 10,000 yen! Did they fight because of the 10,000 yen? I clearly told them to split it equally!"

"You should have divided it up between the two in advance!" Shinpachi complained. "In this situation, there's a high chance they'll end up fighting!"

"I had no choice! I ran out of small change!" Kawaki argued quietly.

At that moment, Gintoki and Umibouzu both coughed up blood.

'Santa Claus is really good!' Gintoki held his chest, panting heavily while thinking, 'He's definitely not just some fat old man who works only on Christmas Eve!'

'An old man like him was able to take my hit...' Umibouzu wiped the blood from his mouth while looking at Gintoki with a serious expression. 'Is this Santa Claus' true strength?'