CH 107

Chapter 107: To Deal Sincerely and Fairly



When Song Qingshi woke up, he found that it was well into the night. He looked at the decor of the Heaven Martial Sect guest room around him. He was confused for a moment, thinking of where he was. It wasn’t until he saw that the lamp on the table was made with Night Luminescent Pearl from Heaven Craft Pavilion, and was neither an oil lamp nor a candle, that he woke up completely. 



He anxiously jumped out of bed. Barefooted, he looked all around, only to see that man dressed in a red brocade robe, sitting sideways on the chaise couch by the window. He had long dropped his disguise and moonlight shone down upon the most gorgeous face. There was a deep darkness in his dark golden phoenix eyes.  His long slightly curling hair was tied casually next to his ear. His guise as a young man has long since faded and his stature was now much taller…



This was Feng Jun, Mo Yuan, and also Wuhuan…



Song Qingshi carefully approached him. He dipped his finger in the spirit-refreshing tea, wanting to write his question on the table. 



“You can already speak.” The man woke up from his thoughts and couldn’t help but say when he saw him trying to write. 



Song Qingshi then realized that he was no longer mute. He quickly let out an “ah ah ah”, practicing vocalizing. It took quite a bit of time before he recovered the ability to speak. He thought for a long time and quietly called out, “Wu-Wuhuan…”



This was the only name he wanted to call.



Shenjun didn’t deny it any more. He simply took his hand and gently placed it on his palm, holding it tightly.



“I’m sorry,” Song Qingshi saw this familiar movement and understood that the other party already knew what he had been doing in Mo Yuan’s formation. In the formation, he relied on his obtuse heart to persist in doing the mission over a hundred times. Now that the dust has settled, he finally felt the pain caused by the more than a hundred failures. At first, it was dull throbbing pain and then the pain grew deeper and deeper until it reached the bottom of his heart. He whimpered and tried to suppress the torrent of tears. But he simply couldn’t bear it anymore and he finally cried out loud, saying, “Sorry, I’m too stupid. I tried my best, but I couldn’t solve the problem. I’m sorry, I caused you so much pain…”



He was incoherent from cryng. He didn’t know what he was talking about.



“Don’t be sad, I’m back.” Shenjun knew that he had accumulated too many emotions and needed to vent. He didn’t try to stop him. He just took him into his arms and gently stroked his back, waiting patiently for him to cry away all the pain in his memory and completely return to reality.



Song Qingshi cried for a long time, and gradually stopped…



He firmly grasped the warm hand and confirmed that this person was still by his side. He hadn’t lost him. His eyes were full of questions. 



“After I entered the formation, I didn’t receive any messy mission and I was immediately attached to Wuhuan’s body. I knew that this was me in my previous life. I hated that kind of identity and situation. I intended to immediately withdraw but then I saw you coming and I decided not to leave. The next thing I knew, it was like I was personally experiencing a play. I watched and felt but I couldn’t control the development and course of the story.” Seeing that he had finally calmed down, shenjun slowly told him of what he had experienced in the formation. “I watched you… as you tried your hardest to save me, as you led me by the hand. I was so happy. You agreed to marry me and be my Daoist companion and I was even more overjoyed. I thought that having felt that kind of happiness, it didn’t matter if Mo Yuan met an unfortunate end. It didn’t matter that he went mad and died. However, I never expected that the ending of the story would be like that. It was so painful that I simply couldn’t accept it…”



Song Qingshi apologized again, “I’m sorry.”



“You don’t need to apologize. You’re not the one in the wrong.” Shenjun took a deep breath. He had been thinking about this issue while Song Qingshi had been sleeping. “When you failed for the first time, I was so angry that I couldn’t help myself. I hated destiny, hated missions, I even hated myself in my previous life. I wanted to tear apart the tiger brace. But I saw that you chose to start again. I was a little surprised. It was like demons and gods at work…I wondered what you were going to do, so I stopped myself… …”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

As a result, he watched Song Qingshi, begin again and again, and fail again and again… 



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Mo Yuan’s formation wasn’t an exam question for Song Qingshi; rather, it was the answer he had left for himself.



“Being manipulated by the so-called mission and destiny is an injustice from heaven. But ‘unsolvable’s failure lay with me…” He knew that Song Qingshi had discovered this problem a long time ago through his countless repeated failures. But there was no way for him to resolve it. “I like you very much and I’m willing to give you everything; my feelings, my life, my soul… But the only thing I didn’t give you was trust.”



He was too smart, too proud, too self-confident. He was too engrossed in striving for perfection and so he couldn’t face mistakes and failures.



He didn’t believe in Song Qingshi’s mission, nor did he believe enough in Song Qingshi’s feelings for him, which resulted in an unsolvable ending. 



The thing manipulating fate behind the scenes took advantage of these two small gaps in his personality — perfectionism and mysophobia. As long as he was thrown into the filthy and dirty darkness, it could relax and watch him repeatedly enmesh himself in a trap of his devising. Because of his self-loathing, even if he ran across a life-saving driftwood, he would only drag the driftwood into the water, forcing it to painfully sink into the abyss with him.



He really was so stupid…



“The paranoia came from fear, and the tendency to evade came from the feelings of inferiority.” Shenjun finally analyzed his own heart, facing the deep darkness inside. “I’m afraid; afraid that your feelings for me are just a beautiful mistake. I’m afraid that you’ll find the right answer and forget all about me. I’m afraid you will like another and I’m also afraid that others will like you. I’m even more afraid that one day, you’ll understand what true perfection is and then you’ll realize my imperfections and leave in despair…”



Song Qingshi desperately shook his head to say that he wouldn’t. 



Mo Yuan fell amidst his crazed massacre. Before he died, he finally caught a glimpse of the mystery known only to heaven. He understood then that the mission that Song Qingshi had once told him of, was real. But by then, he was already powerless to redeem the situation. 



He then made this tiger brace, sealing his memory in it, installing this unsolvable mission.



The way to initiate the mission was through Song Qingshi’s two different fires but the actual target had been his future self.



What Mo Yuan wanted him to see was Song Qingshi’s redemption of never giving up. It then opened this paranoid and stubborn heart. 



One hundred and twenty-seven mission cycles.



No matter how difficult or painful the mission; no matter whether he was blind or dirty; no matter how bad the circumstances he found himself in; no matter if he was beautiful or ugly; no matter how dark his heart was; no matter how many bad things he has done; he was the one who was always chosen and given heart and soul…



Song Qingshi had tirelessly worked hard, trying to drag him out of the abyss.



So, don’t be afraid, he will never give up on you… 



Shenjun turned Song Qingshi’s palm over and gently caressed the back of his hand. He looked at him, and after getting his permission, he once again branded the soulmark.



The two peach blossoms marks, through the fetters of lifetime after lifetime, had already turned so red that they were almost dripping blood.



His smile was sadder than crying. “How many lifetimes have we been Daoist companions to make such a mark?”



“I-I told you,” Song Qingshi hadn’t fully adapted to speaking again and his speech wasn’t very smooth. He tried hard and said, “Wuhuan, I like you.”　　  



He was the most fixated person in the world. The things he liked, he would never ever change.　　 



Song Qingshi felt a bit wronged, “I’ve said I like you many, many times.”　　 



Anything said three times or more signified that it is important. He thought he had said it clearly enough, but the other party still didn’t understand…　　



Shenjun calculated and said, “In this world, you have said it one hundred and eighty-four times.”　　  



He remembered every time.　　 



Song Qingshi was stunned. He had lost part of his memory and there were a lot of things he didn’t remember clearly, but he felt like he shouldn’t have said it that often, right?　 



Shenjun thought back to those pleasant memories and explained, “You liked saying it in bed.”　　 



Song Qingshi understood, and honestly confessed, “I must have been begging for mercy…”　　  



Shenjun was stunned.　　 



Song Qingshi was so embarrassed that he wanted to scratch the floor, but the words were already out and he was left with no choice but to explain, “They say that men can’t say no in bed. S-so, I was embarrassed to directly…”



He learned a bitter lesson in Mo Yuan’s memory. Sword cultivators gave everything they’ve got in whatever they did. His initial cultivation level hadn’t been very high, and he hadn’t yet tempered his body. He was played with to the extreme but he still couldn’t say anything. Oftentimes, by the time they finished, he’d be on the verge of passing out. He’d thought of making a wooden sign with this sentence, using a tactful way, he hoped that for the sake of how much he liked him… that he’d let him off once or twice. However, he thought this plan was too strange and ultimately decided not to do this stupid thing. Later, he had managed to raise his cultivation base and he tempered his body with medicine to adapt.　　 



Song Qingshi confessed to the truth, feeling his vigor reach rock bottom. His head was lowered, and his face was beet red. 



Shenjun was amused by him, and the depressive atmosphere was swept clean away.　　 



When Song Qingshi saw the other’s smile, his face turned even more red. He promised sincerely, “I will train my body well.”



“En, I’m not afraid anymore. No matter how many missions or rebirths, I believe that you will come find and save me.” Shenjun ceased his laughter and said seriously, “Qingshi, from now on, I will believe in your feelings. I will believe every word you say and not ruin your mission again… So, let’s try dealing sincerely and fairly. Let’s say everything and join hands to try to break this disgusting imprisonment by fate.”　　 



Song Qingshi earnestly promised, “If the mission fails, I will accompany you in death.”　　 



Shenjun thought for a long time. “Okay.”　　 



“The first step to dealing sincerely and fairly,” Song Qingshi asked the most important question, “Tell me, what is your real name?”　　 



A name is a very important thing. Whether it was Mo Yuan or Feng Jun, these were all cowardly products of his being unable to face his past.　　 



If he couldn’t face the darkness, couldn’t face his true self, he would never be able to break through the imprisonment of darkness, of being played tricks on and being controlled by disgusting fate.　　 



Shenjun hesitated for a moment, then smiled softly.　　 



“My name is Yue Wuhuan.”



As soon as he spoke, the young man’s soft lips were branded onto his lips, he then happily told him in a loud voice.　　 



“Wuhuan, I like you.”　　  



“Wuhuan, I like you.”　　 



“Wuhuan, I like you.”　　 



The most important thing must be said thrice.　　 



This time, you must be sure not to misunderstand.　　  



We’ll work hard together.　　



……