Chapter 84 84: Tormenting Rain

"What rain thing?"

Raphael wondered what he supposedly interrupted. Was it something related to this first? Did Azekiel know something about this rain? He didn't even realize how deep his mind went into this.

"It's nothing special. Lia just asked me why I hated rain. I was about to tell you but was distracted by the shelter," Azekiel explained, seeing the questioning gaze on Raphael's face.

"Yeah, so tell me. You said that in the past you didn't know why you hated the rain, but now you do. So what reason is there?"

"Why are you so interested in it?" Azekiel inquired. Water kept splashing with each of his steps. "It's not a massive secret to be excited about."

"I'm just curious. In any case, we are going to be walking for a long time. We might as well have some conversations. So what's the reason behind it?"

Even Raphael was slightly curious. Generally, liking or disliking rain was a personal preference. There wasn't supposed to be any specific reason behind it. At least none he could think of, except not liking water, but he doubted that it was the case for Azekiel.

Since the two were so curious about him, Azekiel also didn't hold back and started telling them.

"I had grown up being scared of rain. All my life, I hated it. I avoided rain as much as possible and didn't know why. Whenever it rained, I skipped school. There was always this strange feeling in my heart whenever it rained."

"In fact, I'm going through it right now as well." He raised both his hands.

"This..." Raphael hadn't noticed it until now, but when Azekiel highlighted it, he could finally see it. Azekiel's fingers were trembling constantly.

It was a minor trembling that only affected the fingers. In fact, if one wasn't looking carefully, they could easily miss it.

"It always happens whenever it's raining near me." Azekiel lowered his hands. "My family took me to many doctors who checked everything, only to come to a conclusion that it was something psychological and not physical."

"Throughout the years, I've managed to control myself to some extent. I can stand the rain now, even though I'm still affected by it."

The heavy rain kept lashing the surroundings as Azekiel talked about his odd condition. Water droplets trickled down his face, forcing him to wipe his face every so often and adjust his hair.

"Psychological? I don't think this will happen for no reason, even if it's psychological. Did you go through any trauma related to rain before this condition started?" Lia inquired. "As you already clarified, you aren't affected by water or showers, so it's certainly specific to rain."

"I'm not sure, but I think it's related to the first seven years of my life," Azekiel casually answered.

"First Seven Years of your life? Why? What happened then?"

"No idea." Azekiel shrugged. "I've had this condition for as long as I can remember. The only time I can't remember is the first seven years of my life, so it's probably something that happened in those seven years."

"Did you ask your mother? You were probably very small by then, so it's not odd that you won't remember. But your mother should know. Did you not ask her?" Lia frowned. This trauma thing was certainly very fascinating to her since it was the first time she was hearing something like that.

"If we can know what caused it, we might be able to help you get out of this trauma," she further added. "Even though you've learned to live with it, it's not healthy. If we can, we should help you get better. So did you ask your mother? She must've known something."

"She doesn't know anything either."

"How can your mother not know about the first seven years of your life?"

"Because she isn't..." Azekiel stopped in between his words, remembering what had happened on the day of the apocalypse. That was the day he lost the only family he had...

"Because she wasn't my real mother. Despite not being my birth mother, she was everything to me."

He had never talked to anyone about this part of his life before, even though there were many who knew about it.

"She told me everything as soon as I was old enough to understand it," he further added. "I was seven years old when she found me unconscious at her door."

"She took me in, treated me, and waited for me to wake up so I could tell her who I was or my address. But I didn't remember anything when I woke up. The authorities came."

"They tried to look for my family, but even they couldn't find it. I was sent to an orphanage from where she adopted me the very next day, taking me back to where the life I remember started."

"That's why neither my mother nor I know about the first seven years of my life or how I ended up before her door. In any case, it doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter who I was in the past. It doesn't matter what trauma caused this condition for me. I don't want to look back."

"The past only holds pain and torment. I just want to look at the future for now. I don't want to lose my way. As far as this condition is concerned, it's not too bad. It doesn't trouble me as much as it used to do. And maybe one day, this trembling would stop as well."

The past was painful. The past he remembered was filled with betrayal and backstabbing. It was covered in his own blood and the screams of his mother when she was killed by a Monster, right before his eyes, telling him to run. The past was already a mess for him.

"It's ironic, isn't it? I run from my own past, only to end up in a mess related to someone else's past. And If I don't come out victorious, I die. I doubt this time my soul will go back in time like the last time. The Blood and Soul Pact won't even leave my soul intact for that."

? For a moment, Azekiel felt like laughing. His fate was certainly a jumbled mess of luck and back luck. He had luck in the form of getting Raphael, Lia, and by going back in time to receive a system. At the same time, the instances of his bad luck were even more.

"Raphael, if you could change your past, would you do it?" he asked, wondering.

"Like the Spirit wants you to change its past?" Raphael asked back.