Chapter 381

Author: Qin Ruoxu MACHINE TRANSLATION

Qiao Man’s pitch-black eyes followed his words. After Xie Zhiqian met her gaze, all his words turned into one sentence,”… you’ll get drunk.”

She gently shook her head. “It’s okay! ”

After saying that, she lowered her eyes and played with the transparent teacup in front of her with both hands. After a few seconds, she slowly said in a low and gentle voice, “Xie Zhiqian, do you know? Sometimes, it’s rare for people to get drunk. ”

When she said this, she seemed to be very emotional. She sighed softly and her gentle voice turned into a mumble, “it’s good that I’m drunk. I’m just afraid that I won’t get drunk… ”

She didn’t continue the rest of her words. Perhaps she realized that her emotions were too abnormal, so she quickly restrained all her emotions and turned all her mumbling into a low and gentle tone again “I’m happy tonight, so… It’s okay if I’m drunk. You can’t accompany me to get drunk, but at least allow me to get drunk… ”

She said that she was happy, and there was a deep smile on her gentle face. However, Xie Zhiqian felt that she was very sad. It was the kind of sadness that he had never seen before.

It was overwhelming and overwhelming.

If it weren’t for the fact that they were separated by the dining table, he thought that he would probably be drowned by her sadness.

“Man man, being drunk will only make you more miserable. If you feel any pain or sadness, you can tell me. I will help you share the burden… ”

“It’s useless, Xie Zhiqian. ”

Qiao man interrupted him without thinking. The smile on her face gradually disappeared “If someone can help me share my pain and sadness and make me happy, the person sitting across me should be Ji Yunshen, not you. ”

“If you don’t mind, you can think of me as Ji Yunshen. ”

Qiao man still shook her head. “even if I really think of you as Ji Yunshen, what can I change? You are not him after all. ”

“Man man, tell me, has your depression gotten worse recently… ”

Qiao Man subconsciously denied, “I didn’t, I just… I just felt that I wasn’t good enough, and I didn’t do well enough, and I didn’t take good care of Tian Tian… ”

Before Xie Zhiqian could finish his sentence, he raised his eyebrows and interrupted her, “then, what exactly do you think you didn’t do well? What didn’t you do well enough? ”

“Xie Zhiqian, tell me the truth, other than being prettier, what else is good about me? ”

Her watery eyes suddenly became lonely, like a dry well, without any ripples “I’ve been notorious since I was young. I have a mother with mental illness, and my personality is not considered gentle. People often say that I’m a jinx, a jinx to my brother and my parents. Now, I’ve lost my family background, my career, and my love life. I’ve failed miserably in my business..

“As for me… the child that I gave birth to in the delivery room, with my life hanging by a thread, was heartlessly abandoned by me time and time again

“I’m like this… Xie Zhiqian, what else do you think is good about me? ”

She was so imperfect, she really wasn’t worthy of Ji Yunshen’s love, nor was she worthy of Tian Tian’s forgiveness.

She really wasn’t worth it… …

After hearing Qiao Man’s words, Xie Zhiqian’s originally slightly furrowed brows instantly furrowed into a ball.

He and Qiao man had known each other for many years, so he couldn’t say that he knew her completely, but he could also say that he knew her very well. He knew that she wasn’t a person without confidence, nor was she a person who would belittle herself casually.

Of course, the prerequisite for all this was that her depression didn’t worsen.

Her mental world was very complicated, and sometimes it was even virtual.

He had done a lot of psychological counseling for her, and he had also used this kind of psychological counseling many times to lure her to voice out all her sadness and unhappiness, but there had never been a time like this that made him feel.. Her mental world had already experienced a nuclear war, it was filled with thick smoke, and… … The smell of near death …

“Man man, how about this, I’ll drink with you tonight, I’ll drink with you as much as you drink, but the prerequisite is that you have to accept my psychological counseling. ”

In the past, Qiao Man did not hide her depression.

Because at that time, she did not feel that her depression was her embarrassment and stain. She did not have a deep love, nor did she have a weakness. She was invulnerable.

She did not care about rumors, nor did she care about other people’s opinions.

But now, she was Tian Tian’s mother, and also the woman in Ji Yunshen’s heart.

She had to be good enough to be worthy of them.

And because of this deep love, she felt inferior.

She often felt that she was not good enough and began to learn to hide the differences in others’eyes. Over time, the embarrassment that she had hidden away slowly accumulated and gathered in the bottom of her heart. Then, one day, it suddenly exploded.

Obviously, her sudden departure had a lot to do with her realizing that her depression had worsened.

She was afraid that she would hurt Ji Yunshen and Tian Tian.

After all… After her depression had worsened, she used a knife to hurt Ji Yunshen. Even though it had been a long time since that incident, it was still a lingering shadow in her heart …

It was probably a shadow that she would never be able to get rid of for the rest of her life.

Qiao Man’s fair hands that were placed on the teacup subconsciously tightened. She exerted so much strength that they turned white. She wanted to deny it, but she could not deny it.

“Man man, you don’t have to answer me. You just need to walk from the endless darkness to my spotlights and look into my eyes. ”

A large part of Qiao Man’s mental world was virtual. If he wanted to give her psychological guidance, he had to build a virtual three-dimensional world. Then, he would let her walk from the darkness where she couldn’t even see her fingers Slowly, she walked into the bright and beautiful world that he had built.

She frowned and didn’t say anything. She tightened her grip on the teacup. After a few seconds, she raised her head and looked into Xie Zhiqian’s eyes.

Xie Zhiqian took a deep breath and spoke slowly “Man man, think about it. You’re standing on a green grass field. Across from you is a stream flowing down from a high mountain. The surroundings are filled with flowers and lush greenery. You’re tired of standing. You sit on a rock beside the stream and look at the clear water flowing by. After a while, you lower your head and look at your reflection in the stream… “… “…”

When he said this, Xie Zhiqian paused for a moment. After a few seconds, he said in a low voice, “man man, tell me, what did you see at this moment? ”

In the three-dimensional world that Xie Zhiqian had constructed, Qiao man slowly lowered her head. In the clear stream, she saw Ji Yunshen and Tian Tian walking further and further away. She shouted desperately behind them, but they didn’t stop She didn’t even stop or hesitate.

She didn’t hide anything and said honestly, “I saw Ji Yunshen and Tian Tian walking further and further away. I told them to wait for me desperately, but they didn’t even stop… ”

“Man man, tell me, what are you afraid of? ”

Qiao man shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m afraid… ”

Xie Zhiqian’s tightly knitted brows slowly relaxed. Then, he stood up, walked around the dining table, and sat beside Qiao Man “Man man, how about this? You sit on the rock next to the stream and don’t move. I’ll ask you a few multiple-choice questions. You just need to choose the option that is closest to the answer in your heart. Do you understand? ”

Qiao man nodded. “Okay, you can ask. ”

Xie Zhiqian glanced at the thin phone on the table before looking away. He said slowly and quietly, “Ji Yunshen’s attitude towards Ji Han has made you afraid, right? You only need to answer me yes or no. ”

“A little. ”

“Are you afraid that his love for you is just a habit accumulated over time and not a deep love? ”

“I guess… a little. ”

Xie Zhiqian paused for a moment and sank his broad back into the back of the dining chair. After a few seconds, he continued, “you’re afraid that your depression will hurt Ji Yunshen or Tian Tian, so you chose to leave. You didn’t even take Tian Tian with you, right? ”

Qiao man did not speak or move. After a few seconds, she slowly nodded her head.

“Then do you know that this might cause Ji Yunshen to misunderstand you and make Tian Tian hate you? or… did you deliberately let Ji Yunshen misunderstand you and make Tian Tian hate you? The former or the latter, YesOrNo. ”

Qiao man pursed her lips and still did not speak.

Xie Zhiqian patiently waited for a while, but he did not get an answer from her. He asked again, “man man, answer me. The former or the latter, YesOrNo. ”

“… the latter.”

If Ji Yunshen misunderstood her, then she wouldn’t need to go through so much trouble to hurt him or herself.

Xie Zhiqian’s tightly knitted brows slowly relaxed. Then, he reached into his pocket and took out a cigarette box. He took one out and played with it in his hand, as if a century had passed before he slowly said, “Man Man, can you tell me about the… Tattoo behind your ear? ”

Hearing Xie Zhiqian’s words, Qiao man raised her hand and subconsciously touched the spot behind her ear where the Tattoo had been washed off.

The capital “Y” had been washed off and turned into a light red scar.

As time passed, she had almost forgotten about the existence of this scar. If he had not reminded her, she would have almost forgotten about the pain of her tattoo and the slightly bitter feeling of her first love.

“I’ve already told you a few times before, you forgot. ”

Xie Zhiqian put the cigarette in his hand to his mouth. He did not light it, but just held it in his mouth. “I kinda forgot. Tell me again, I want to hear it… ”

Qiao man did not think too much about it. Instead, she raised her gaze from the Stream and looked into the distance. “When I was 16 or 17 years old, when I went abroad to study, I met an oriental man on the street. ”

“actually, it’s not accurate to call him a man, because he looked to be only 22 or 23 years old. He was wearing a white coat, black jeans, and a pair of black sports shoes. At that time, it seemed like it had just rained. He walked on the street after the rain, like a God descending from the sky, so high and unreachable. ”

“maybe he hasn’t graduated from university yet, or maybe he just graduated. He doesn’t look as shrewd and sharp as he used to be, nor does he look like he’s from the secular world. He’s very clean, completely clean. ”

Qiao Man, who was deeply immersed in her memories, had her watery eyes unconsciously become far-reaching. She even slowly lost focus and was completely immersed in that beautiful memory.

“He was like a beam of light that suddenly burst into my eyes. I was behind him all the way back to where he lived, but his back was always facing me. I didn’t see his face clearly. ”

“Many people said that Jiang Yingdong was my first love, but he wasn’t. The man in the white coat was my first love. Of course, many people also said that the tattoo behind my ear was done for Jiang Yingdong, but it wasn’t. The Tattoo behind my ear was done because of ‘that person’ . ”

She paused for a few seconds before continuing “because behind the white coat he was wearing, there was a capital “y” embroidered with black thread. So, I also had a capital “Y” tattooed behind my ear. ”

Qiao man retracted her unfocused gaze and looked at Xie Zhiqian. “There are probably only so many memories about this tattoo, if that’s what you want to hear. ”

Xie Zhiqian had been listening quietly the whole time, or perhaps he was using this silence to let Ji Yunshen, who was on the other end of the phone, hear even more clearly.

After a while, he finally said in a low voice, “then… why did you wash it off later? ”

Although Xie Zhiqian knew the origin of Qiao Man’s Tattoo, he did not know why she had to endure the piercing pain to wash it off, and she had never told him about it before.

Just as Xie Zhiqian and the man on the other end of the “phone” were waiting for Qiao Man’s reply, the door of the private room was pushed open by the waiter from the outside. He brought Qiao Man’s order, a bottle of’82 Romani Conti, and two goblets.

The wine bottle of Romani Conti had already been opened by the waiter. After bringing the food to the table, the waiter took the cork off the bottle of Romani Conti and poured wine into the two goblets.

After pouring the wine, the waiter said in a very professional and respectful tone, “the two of you, the food is ready. Please enjoy your meal. ”

Qiao man and Xie Zhiqian replied with a “thank you” almost at the same time. The waiter quickly replied with a “you’re welcome” before leaving the private room.

Xie Zhiqian did not want to drink and chat. He just wanted to have a simple chat and then drink wine.

However, it was clear that Qiao Man’s thoughts were different from his. After the waiter walked out of the private room, she reached out and picked up the goblet of red wine in front of her. She lifted it up and placed it in front of her. Through the transparent glass and red wine, she looked at the orange light above her head Then, she shook it and drank it all in one gulp.

After Xie Zhiqian saw that she had downed more than half of the wine goblet in her hand in one gulp, his beautiful straight eyebrows could not help but furrow. Thinking of what he had just said to her, he took the initiative to pick up the wine goblet. Then, he imitated her behavior and downed the wine goblet in one gulp.

After Qiao man finished drinking one goblet, she immediately poured another goblet for herself. Xie Zhiqian did not stop her. He thought that this time, she would drink and chat with him, telling him about her sadness and unhappiness. However, she did not. After she put the goblet to her lips, she downed it in one gulp It was as if she wanted to get herself drunk immediately.

Seeing that she was drinking like this, Xie Zhiqian quickly reached out to stop her from pouring herself a third glass. He continued to speak in a low voice “Man man, we still have one night left. Let’s drink slowly. Now, tell me, why did you endure the pain and get a tattoo but wash it off? Moreover, you did not wash it off when you were with Jiang Yingdong, but when you were with Ji Yunshen… … …”

Qiao man’s alcohol tolerance was not good. After drinking two glasses in a row, she began to feel dizzy, but her mind was very clear.

She was so clear that she could hear the air conditioner being turned down by Xie Zhiqian. She was so clear that she could hear the rain falling outside the window. She was so clear that she could hear the occasional car horn coming from outside the window.

Qiao man raised her hand and brought the wine glass to her mouth again. Before she could drink it, she was stopped by Xie Zhiqian’s big hand that suddenly reached out and took it into her own hand. “Man man, you haven’t answered my question. ”

After the wine glass in Qiao Man’s hand was taken away, she could not help but frown deeply. She first looked at the rain that kept falling outside the window, then glanced at Xie Zhiqian who was beside her. After a few seconds, she said softly and softly, “Xie Zhiqian, if you drink two more glasses with me, I’ll tell you. ”

Xie Zhiqian had a very good tolerance for alcohol. He would not feel dizzy even if he drank eight or ten glasses of this kind of strong liquor. He was not afraid of drinking, but he was afraid that after Qiao man drank this liquor, she would have a terrible headache tomorrow and would not be able to recover for a few days.

However, he also knew that no matter what he said now, Qiao man would not listen to him, and she did not want to hear it.

“okay, then I’ll drink two more glasses with you. ”

After saying that, Xie Zhiqian returned the wine glass that he had just snatched from her hand to her. Then, he poured himself another glass and knocked it against the wall of her glass, making a clear and pleasant sound. “The first glass. ”

Qiao man nodded. After hearing the sound of clinking glasses, she brought the Wine Cup in her hand to her lips and downed it in one gulp.

After the First Cup ended, the other cup immediately knocked against each other again. “The Second Cup. ”

Then, the two of them downed it almost at the same time.

Although Qiao Man did not pass out from the alcohol, the numbness of the alcohol had already made her slow to react. Moreover, the entire world in front of her seemed to be spinning.

After she got used to it for a while, she propped up her head and looked at him. “Don’t you have a problem? Continue asking. ”

“It’s still the same question as before. Nothing has changed. ”

Qiao Man blinked her eyes. “What question? I… Forgot. ”

Xie Zhiqian raised his eyebrows. Then, after a few seconds, he slowly said, “Man man, tell me, why did you endure the pain and get a tattoo but wash it off? Why didn’t you wash it off when you were with Jiang Yingdong? Why did you wash it off when you were with Ji Yunshen? ”

Qiao man placed one arm on the dining table and propped up her head with her elbow. Her eyes stared at the rain outside the window. After a while, she said, “that man is my first love in my one-sided fantasy. He has never really stood in front of me before, so I don’t know if it’s just a simple sensory stimulation to him or just a fleeting glance, and then I have a photographic memory

“So… among so many men, I chose Jiang Yingdong because his silhouette from a certain angle is very close to that man

“I agreed to Jiang Yingdong entirely because of this similar silhouette. ”

Qiao man placed her sharp jawbone on her arm, then reached out to play with the empty wine glass in front of her. She paused for two seconds before speaking “In other words, Jiang Yingdong didn’t make me forget my fleeting glimpse of that man, but… Ji Yunshen made me forget my fleeting glimpse of that man… ”

“Man man, I understand now. You fell in love with Ji Yunshen, so you forgot your fleeting glimpse of that man. It’s also because of this that you went to wash off the tattoo behind your ear, because you feel that Ji Yunshen has completely replaced the fleeting glimpse of that man in your mind, right? ”

Qiao man slowly blinked her eyes. She did not speak, nor did she move. No one knew what she was thinking.

Xie Zhiqian was not in a hurry either. Instead, he was patiently enticing her. “Man Man, do you love Ji Yunshen very much? ”

Qiao man still did not speak. She just blinked even slower, as if it was a replay of a movie in slow motion.

Xie Zhiqian took a deep breath, then took out a lighter from his pocket and looked at Qiao man. “I’m a little addicted to cigarettes. Do you mind if I smoke? ”

Qiao man slowly shook her head, but she still did not speak.

Xie Zhiqian’s frown deepened. After a few seconds, he said, “man man, why don’t you answer me? ”

After hearing Xie Zhiqian’s words, Qiao man poured herself another glass of wine and smiled gently. “because… I don’t know how to answer you. ”

“Love or not, there are only two answers. It’s not difficult… ”

Qiao man shook her head and poured herself another glass of wine. Then, she raised it in front of her eyes and looked at Xie Zhiqian’s face through the transparent glass and red wine “If you only need an answer of love or not, then everything will become simple. There will no longer be a need for people who are trapped by love in this world. ”

After saying that, she poured herself another glass of wine. Just like before, she brought it to her mouth and almost downed it in one gulp.

Xie Zhiqian took a deep breath of the cigarette in his hand and silently drank the wine he had left behind. Then, he continued “One last question, man man. Tell me, are you actually very sad to leave for his good? You can’t sleep or eat well at all? ”

The thick fog in her eyes slowly covered her watery eyes. She did not speak, but poured herself another glass of wine and downed it in one gulp.

It was said that the more she drank, the more drunk she would become. But why did she become more sober the more she drank?

She was so sober that she could even understand the meaning behind Xie Zhiqian’s words. She was so sober that she could still feel the numbing pain in her heart.

Just as she poured herself another glass of wine and was about to raise her head to drink it all, a large hand snatched the red wine glass from her hand. She frowned in anger, raised her head, and was about to throw a Tantrum at Xie Zhiqian when.. A tall and tall figure entered her sight.

“Man man, it’s very late. Come home with me. ”

It was actually Ji Yunshen.

The Moment Ji Yunshen walked in, Xie zhiqian silently exited the private room and gave up the space.