CH 45

Her words sounded both innocent in a way and questioning in a way.

Heiner stiffened as if caught off guard. He should respond naturally, but he couldn’t remember the next sentence. He laughed awkwardly.

“Miss Rosenberg, what suddenly…”

“Not suddenly. It’s been months since we met, but we haven’t even mentioned that we’re officially dating… don’t you like me?”

Annette’s pride seemed to have hurt. Heiner shook his head, not hiding his bewilderment.

“Absolutely not. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have tried to see you all this time.”

“So you just want to play around with me? You don’t want to be in a formal relationship?”

“Miss Rosenberg, why are you thinking like that? That’s not true. I just….”

His words trailed off. Heiner looked at her with anxious eyes, unable to continue for a moment. Annette hurried to ask.

“Just what?”

Yes, why didn’t he confess?

Heiner gazed at the woman’s small, beautiful face. He still couldn’t believe the fact that this face was right in front of him.

In his head, he knew that she already had some feelings for him. But his long-learned sense of inferiority put the brakes on the thought.

Because deep down he knew that there was no way a woman like her could have feelings for him.

It didn’t matter if he was an officer, being from a commoner background was an inseparable label. Nobles would flirt with commoners, but never thought of a serious relationship.

Arranged marriage was the task of all nobles. As times changed, people were willing to tolerate a little bit of playing with fire in one’s youth, but very few people overcame the difference in status and got married.

Furthermore, Annette was the only daughter of the great Rosenberg family. She was also of royal blood.

Therefore, Marquis Dietrich was willing to turn a blind eye to Annette’s love life. Knowing whoever she met in her youth, her marriage would eventually be according to her family’s will.

However much Annette loved romance, she was at the same time the epitome of aristocracy.

“I just…”

Heiner opened his mouth hesitantly. Only at this moment did he put off the act and the pretense and speak his mind. He said in a slightly trembling voice.

“I just thought you might turn me down.”

The sentence that came out of his mouth was pathetic and poor. Heiner immediately regretted saying it. If he were a woman, he would not want to meet a girl who talked like this.

However, Annette looked a little surprised. He didn’t know what that look meant exactly, and he was worried all by himself.

Annette asked as if she didn’t understand.

“Why do you think I would turn you down, Mr. Valdemar?”

“…It’s just my qualifications, don’t worry about it.”

“Why do I not care if the man I like has not confessed to me because he’s afraid of rejection?”

“So I’m alone …… huh?”

Heiner asked back, sounding somewhat too bewildered, even to his own ears.There was a moment of silence. Suddenly Annette gave a small laugh.

“The last one was a joke, Mr. Valdemar.”

“Oh…”

“I was just trying to complain, but you were too serious. I know you are not one to play with my heart.”

Annette took another step toward him. Heiner barely felt his legs as he instinctively tried to back away.

“I like you.”

She said that with a flawless smile.

His heart throbbed. For a moment, Heiner couldn’t move as if struck by lightning. He remained frozen in place, keeping her pretty, pure white face locked up in his mind.

“Do you want to make it official with me, Mr. Valdemar?”

Heiner’s fingers twitched slightly. He had to say something, but he couldn’t speak. His lips were just moving like an idiot.

Heiner looked into her dark blue eyes, lowered his gaze to look at her lips, and looked into her eyes again. She was still smiling beautifully.

Annette seemed to have no qualms about anything.

His head felt frozen, as if he had been doused with cold water. Though his heart still rattled wildly, his reason and emotions played separately.

He should be glad that the operation was going smoothly.

He should congratulate himself for the success.

He should be satisfied with the valuable results.

But why, why did he feel like this…

“Why, do you love it so much that you are speechless?”

Annette asked jokingly with a jovial laugh. She wasn’t really asking.

It was a certainty. The certainty of someone who had grown up being loved her whole life, that he would naturally like her.

Given that woman’s background growing up, it was not arrogance. Arrogance was obviously one of the things that made it unpleasant, but it was not the main reason.

The cause of these feelings was the very thing that he liked.

It was also inconsistently so. Even though it was the words he wanted to hear so badly.

“I like you.”

Because the words that came out of the woman’s mouth just sounded infinitely lighter and fresher. 

I like jewelry. I like piano. I like parties. I like spring. I like white.

One of many. The kind of thing that could be replaced by any number of things – even if it was not him anyway.

“Are you surprised that I said it so suddenly?” (A)

“——- “

“Still, you have to respond. Won’t you tell me?” (A)

Heiner tried to smile gleefully at her. And he actually almost succeeded. Until Annette gently leaned into his arms.

“I ……”

Heiner murmured in a slightly choked voice. He reached out a trembling hand and wrapped it around her back, lowering his upper body slightly.

The expression on his face slowly fell as he held the small, soft woman in his arms. Annette whispered softly.

“You, what?”

He managed to control his breathing, which kept getting disturbed, and finally answered.

“I really… really… like you, too.”

He could feel the woman smile. The power drained from his head. Heiner, half overwhelmed and half helpless, muttered his confession.

“I really like you, Miss Rosenberg.”

Annette Rosenberg.

The most beautiful and noble woman in Padania.

He was just be one of many good things in her life. Maybe a little better, maybe a little less good, that sort of thing.

Heiner was so miserable with the awareness that flowed through him without consciousness. He tried his best not to be aware of it, not to belittle himself, but it didn’t work out the way he wanted it to.

“Let’s say Mr. Valdemar confessed to me first, okay?”

“…You really are the worst, like a man.”

“What does it matter? Isn’t it time for women to enter society these days? Can’t you confess that it’s you first?”

Annette said it as if she were a feminist, but Heiner knew she wasn’t really interested in such things.

Just as no matter how much literature she read that secretly denounced discrimination in society, she would take one tear and fold the book.

If Annette married, the title of Marquis would pass to her husband after her father’s death. But like most aristocratic women, she took this for granted.

In any case, Annette would receive the Countship of Rosenberg. Unless she was tremendously greedy for the honor, there was no reason why she would dare to indulge the damage and hope for reform.

“…… I see. Then let us assume as it is that you have confessed.”

“Don’t you mean you’re not going to leave it done?”

“Let’s assume you did.”

“I rescind my confession.”

“Then I will confess again.”

Hugging Annette even tighter as she tried to get out of his arms, Heiner closed his eyes. A confession flowed from his lips, each word heavy with emotion.

“I like you.”

His voice sounded somewhat earnest, as if he was reciting a prayer.

“Make it official with me, Annette.”

She carefully wrapped her arms around his back. The warmth of their touch was soft. In a moment that he wished would never have passed, Heiner thought as he crumbled.

Annette, I guess I’m just one of the many good things in your life…………….

Not me.

To me you are different.

You are the only good thing left in my life. The only thing that is precious.

You are the one woman I would never dare to see up close. That fact makes me feel yearning, satisfied, desperate, and frustrated all at the same time.

I wish you were nothing to me, just as I am nothing to you.

I want to destroy you. I want to drag you down to the bottom. I want to let you know how bad everything in the world is. So that no one will want you any more.

Not even me.

So that no one will love you any more, not even me.

***

AU 716. The first revolution, led by factory workers, was suppressed. Marquis Dietrich, aware of public opinion, married Annette Rosenberg to Heiner Valdemar, a commoner officer. In return for this marriage, Heiner Valdemar gave Marquis Dietrich false information about the revolutionary army. Heiner Valdemar acted as a double agent, disguising himself as having infiltrated the revolutionary army on the orders of Marquis Dietrich.

February AU 717. A second revolution broke out, led by students, but it was suppressed.

September AU 717, the third revolution led by the armed revolutionary forces succeeded, and the ruling forces were replaced. A free government was established and the military forces were separated. Heiner Valdemar, a leading figure in the revolutionary forces, took the position of Commander-in-Chief.

AU 718. The inhumane training process that had been taking place within Southerlane Island was exposed. The names of the trainees were kept privately in order to resocialize the trainees and protect their human rights.

AU 719. The Republicans proposed a law for the liquidation of the monarchy, and the issue of disposing of the remnants of the monarchy became controversial.

AU 720. The Commander-in-Chief and his wife divorced.