Volume 1 - CH 1

Common Honorifics:

-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.

-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.

-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.

-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

I, Toshiki Sawada, have been physically weak ever since I can remember. Just exercising a bit is enough to exhaust me, and I also catch colds all the time, so I tend to miss school a lot.

Fortunately, however, I’ve been following a “health regimen” along with my grandpa since childhood, so I don’t catch colds that often anymore. Yet I’m still as thin as a match compared to everyone around me.

I follow my grandpa’s teachings and treat people with kindness and compassion. He’s the only family member I have left, and I love him dearly.

And although I’m shy and reclusive, I have a very important friend.

“Hey, Toshi-kun, let’s go to school!”

“Eri-chan, w–wait!”

“Oh, I saw the anime you showed me yesterday. It was reaaaaally interesting!”

“I told you, didn’t I? It’s a masterpiece!”

“If you were as cheerful as the protagonist, you’d have some friends, hehe~”

“S–Shut up! I have friends too, like you… And, um…”

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I’m right here beside you, so that’s okay.”

“Y–Yeah…”

Eri Mashima is my childhood friend. We’ve known each other for basically a decade. She’s always lived next door after all.

One day when I was just a child, I was bullied by the neighborhood kids in the park. Suddenly, she came to my rescue, screaming, “What the hell are you guys doing!”

That’s when I first met her, and soon we were always spending time together. Her constant smile was endearing.

Grandpa doesn’t like her very much, while in contrast, I… I love her. Eri is the first girl I’ve ever felt this way for.

And today, as usual, we walked to school together. Approaching the gates, her friends greeted her and began chatting. No one talked to me, though.

“Oh, Hikari, morning~!”

“Morning, Eri! You’re with Sawada-kun again today, huh? Are you guys seriously not dating?”

“Hey, don’t be weird. Toshi is my dear childhood friend!”

“A–Ahaha… You’re really dense, you know that?” She muttered that last part to herself.

“Eh? What was that, Hikari?”

“Nothing! I’ll go ahead then, see you in class!”

Their chat just reminded me of my shortcomings… I can’t even make eye contact with girls other than Eri. I turn into a nervous, stuttering mess. I just don’t know what to say…

I mean, my favorite things are anime, manga, and retro games. After Eri leaves the classroom, I always spend time alone… And I know what they call me behind my back. “Eri’s goldfish feces,” and “Disgusting weirdo.”

Back at the end of elementary school, I realized Eri and I were different. Every grade we moved up, she became prettier and prettier, and soon I understood the reason for my discomfort.

Eri was loved by all, having countless friends. She was also kind and cheerful, someone that fit the term “normie.” We lived in completely different worlds, and what I saw was different from what she saw.

I noticed that chasm between us, so I tried to distance myself from her, but she—

“Hey, Toshi! You’ve been so cold lately I know the reason, but I don’t mind what they think about me! You’re my dear friend, so why don’t we walk home while having some ice cream, like always?”

—She’s always been kind to me. I was happy as long as she was happy.

However, there was another reason I just had to live quietly. Even though I love her, I can’t tell her how I feel.

It’s because my father is…

“—And, I’ll tell you what Toshi, Hiratsuka-senpai is very funny!”

“… Yeah. I heard that many times.”

“Yesterday, he gave me my favorite brand of perfume!”

“Yeah, got it. That’s great.”

“Ehehe~ We’re going on a date this weekend!”

“O–Oh, really?”

“… Fufu~ Are you jealous of me, Toshi?”

“N–No, it’s not like that…”

“Haah… I wish you were jealous… Hmph.”

Her words shocked me, and they almost made me misunderstand… Because there’s no way she’d like me back. Moreover, if someone you cherish likes someone else, you just have to support them.

Eri was popular, and that fact clicked in my head when I entered junior high school. For that reason, every time she fell in love—

“Hey, Toshi, I think… I might like Hayato in the next class.”

“Toshi! I’m going out with Kenta-kun!”

“Listen, Toshi, he’s terrible! He was two-timing me all along!”

“Aww~! What should I do~! Tachibana-kun confessed to me!”

“Ehehe~ Only you can listen to my worries like this. Thanks a lot!”

My heart ached in misery, and I felt like dying.

I knew Eri enjoyed watching my miserable suffering, and I’m sure she knew I loved her.

Leaving her at the school building, I step into the classroom and sit alone at my desk. No one even attempted to chat with me.

But today, something went a bit differently.

I was reading alone when I noticed the chatter around me grow. Looking up to see what was going on, I saw a guy standing in front of me.

“Are you Toshiki Sawada? Can I talk to you for a bit?”

He was Hiratsuka, a senior… He’s the one Eri’s been talking to a lot recently.

“O–Okay, u–um…”

I was about to get up from my seat, but Hiratsuka restrained me with his hand. He was strangely elegant in doing so, and I noticed the girls in the classroom gawking at him.

Hiratsuka is handsome. And he’s not just another pretty face either, since he’s also famous for his mixed martial arts prowess. He and I lived in entirely different worlds, him being a celebrity around this school, and me being me.

“It’s fine, I’ll just say it here since it’ll be too bothersome otherwise. So, what are you to Eri? Oh, sorry, it’s just that Eri and I have something good going on, but she’s always talking about you, so… I just wanted to know what kinda person you are.”

“Eh, Ah, O–Okay… I–I’m sorry…”

I heard a big sigh coming from him.

“Haah… Why is she friends with this guy? No, I’ve heard she’s actually your childhood friend, not just a friend.”

He had a very unpleasant expression on his face, which I didn’t know why. I’ve heard he was a very nice guy—

“—You’re the son of a criminal, so stay away from Eri. You’ll just cause trouble for her.”

My mind went blank. Meanwhile, his words spread across the classroom like wildfire. I couldn’t stop my body from shaking, and I couldn’t move one inch from where I stood.

Why? Why? Why? Why? — I repeat this question inside my own head.

This secret had to be hidden. No one should’ve known!

“What, the son of a criminal?”

“Eh, what did he do?”

“If it’s true, then this is pretty bad, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, it’s true he doesn’t have any parents…”

“I mean, he looks pretty gloomy, like he’s a criminal…”

I quickly opened my mouth—

“N–No, you’re wrong! M–My dad acted in self-defense!”

This was a bad idea. The murmuring just worsened after my words.

“Seriously…”

“S–Self-defense? Did he do something bad?”

“Oi, we should stay away from him… You never know what he might do to you.”

I stared at Hiratsuka, not knowing what to do.

“H–Hey, why did you say that? Y–You’re—”

“Wait a second, you didn’t tell Eri about this? You’re the son of a criminal, yet you’ve been hiding it from her for ten years?! Haah… Think about her for a moment, will you? … Stay away from my Eri, and never approach her ever again.”

He turned his back and tried to leave the classroom, but I wanted to deny my father this label of “criminal.”

“W–Wait a second!! —Eh?”

Before I could even touch his shoulder, he fell down to the ground, and soon someone around us screamed. Hiratsuka held his knees, pretending to be in pain, yet I saw the corner of his lips raise in a slight smile.

“Toshi… kun? What are you doing?”

Eri stood at the entrance of the classroom.